Ignatius and Larry
Starsky was very surprised how quickly Hutch had become attached to Ignatius, or Iggy as Hutch insisted on calling him. Given how he'd put down Huggy's pet rock enterprise and ribbed Starsky mercilessly for buying one, it was bizarre. What was even weirder was that when Huggy changed his sales pitch to pet logs, Hutch bought one eagerly. Didn't even haggle over the price. Starsky was starting to wonder if his partner had been replaced by an alien look-alike. He'd seen a movie about it so he knew it was possible.
Last week, Hutch had given Iggy a permanent home in a hanging basket containing a spider plant and trailing ivy. When Starsky has asked why, Hutch had informed him that Iggy liked it there. Starsky was slightly flummoxed. He'd always known his partner was weird but this was something else.
He pulled the Torino up outside Venice Place and turned off the engine. Energetically, he jumped out and grabbed a six pack of beers from the back seat, before heading up the stairs two at a time. He knocked and then let himself in.
"Hi pal!" Hutch called from the bedroom. "Pizza's on the way. I'm just going to take a shower."
"Fine," Starsky called back. He placed two beers on the coffee table and went to put the others in the ice box to keep cool.
While Hutch was busy, Starsky thought he'd see if Iggy was still in the greenery and whether the pet log had joined him there. Nope. No sign of the log. Oh, and no sign of Iggy either. He checked around the other plants and then went into the lounge to see if he could find either the rock or the log. Still no sign of Iggy but he espied the log sitting on the piano reading.
Starsky did a double take. No doubt about it, the log was reading. It was stood next to a tiny box holding up the smallest book Starsky had ever seen. Starsky's eyes widened and he looked around the apartment to see if there was anything else strange going on. He looked away and looked back. The log was still reading.
Keeping one eye on the log, Starsky flopped down onto the sofa and took a swig of beer. He heard the shower switch off just as there was a knock at the door. Going to answer it, he found a young man carrying a large box that smelled deliciously of pizza. He dug some bills out of his pocket and paid him. Then, after kicking the door closed, he carried the pizza through to the kitchen.
"Pizza's here!" he called through to Hutch, who he could hear was getting dressed.
"Just coming."
Starsky had already loaded two large slices of pizza on to a plate by the time Hutch appeared. Through a mouthful, he said, "Thanks for getting all the trimmings on my half."
Hutch grimaced. "You're welcome…I think."
Hutch grabbed two slices of pizza and joined Starsky where he had settled on the couch.
One slice down, Starsky paused to ask a question: "Hutch, is it me or is your log reading?"
Hutch blushed slightly. "Er yeah. Pete brought a book round for Larry."
"Larry?"
"Yeah, Larry. Larry the log."
Starsky continued eating his pizza but stared at Hutch while he did so.
"What?"
"Answer me three questions."
"Why?"
"Just do it."
"Okay."
"When's my birthday?"
"March 25th, just a couple of weeks away."
"Hmm. What was my first pet called?"
"Um…I don't remember."
Starsky eyed him suspiciously. "Try harder."
Hutch looked mystified. "What's going on? Why the third degree?"
"Just answer the question."
"You're weird, you know that, right?"
"First pet," Starsky insisted.
"I don't remember its name. I know it was a really old dog you inherited from your grandma. A hound of some sort, I think."
"Hmm. Okay. What's my favourite type of cake?"
"Which day of the week?" Hutch quipped. "You like any cake you see!"
"I'm serious. If I went into a bakery and they had all the choices of cake in the world, what would I get?"
Hutch rolled his eyes. "Whichever chocolate cake was the gooiest."
Starsky let out a breath of relief. "Good, you're not an alien."
"Huh?"
"Nothin'."
Starsky went to get more pizza. When he returned, he asked, "Where's Iggy gone? Did he move house?"
Hutch looked sheepish as he said, "Yeah, sort of."
"Where's he gone?"
"I gave him to Pete."
"How come?" Starsky wanted to know.
"Well…You know you said about passing luck on?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I saw Pete yesterday. She was hanging around waiting for me to come home. She was bothered about something so I invited her inside. She wouldn't tell me what was bothering her at first. You know what she's like, plays things close to her chest. I got her to help me water the plants and she saw Iggy. I started telling her about you buying him and then giving him to me and she said she was trying out for the softball team at school and needed all the luck she could get."
"Ah," Starsky said with understanding. And he really did understand; Hutch was the kindest person he knew and especially kind to people he had a soft spot for, like Molly – or Pete as she preferred to be called.
"So I gave him to her…I hope you don't mind?"
"Nah, 'course not," Starsky said.
"Pete brought the book round for Larry as a thank you," Hutch explained.
"That's nice. I'm sure having a book is great and all but don't you think Larry is going to get lonely without Ignatius?" Starsky asked. "You might need to buy him a friend."
Hutch looked even more sheepish than he had earlier.
"What?" Starsky asked.
"Actually, Huggy's holding a female log for me to collect tomorrow."
Starsky managed to keep a straight face as he said, "You'd better watch out. A male and a female in the same place; you'll soon have lots of little logs running around under your feet."
Hutch just rolled his eyes as Starsky dissolved into laughter.
