Chapter Five: the Lover

As the sound of the final throws of her ecstasy threatened to alert the entire village to their liaison, she was vaguely aware of him clamping a hand over her mouth, stifling her moans into his fingers. She bit him hard as her body writhed with the explosive, unbearable waves of sensation, his name escaping from between her lips, and it proved too much for him to withstand as well. He shuddered with release as his own orgasm took the very breath out of him, and he collapsed into her, their sweat combining to make their skin slick. For a moment Hanami's hand twitched with the desire to stroke across the damp skin on his shoulders, down the ridges of his shoulder blades, where she knew there was a scar that she had caused, but she stopped herself. That would have been a bit too close for comfort. Instead, she turned her attention to the book that lay upended on his window ledge. Its bright orange cover was worn and the edges, and the pages were creased where he had folded them to mark his place. She raised one eyebrow,

"I can't believe you have the audacity to read this in public, Captain."

"Hm?" He lifted his head from the crook of her neck, "Hey!" He made a swipe for the book, but she was too quick, rolling out from under him and off the bed so she could read aloud at a safe distance in a high, false voice.

""Oh save me, my brave shinobi warrior!" Junko clutched at her noticeably short skirt, "You mustn't let him do that to me-" ouch!" Kakashi had tackled her, snatching the book out of her hand, and flinging her back onto the bed. She watched him as he placed it carefully back on the ledge with a handful of other books.

He would never have admitted it, but his time out of the Anbu had softened him. Sure, he'd failed every single genin squad that came his way, and so had never actually spent much time as a sensei, but the missions were different in the operations unit, not so dark, not so questionable. Over the last two years, she had noticed him laugh more, start spending more time with those who had attended the Academy with him. Even though she hated that he wasn't the captain of Team Ro anymore, she couldn't help but be relieved for him. At least one of them might have escaped the shadows.

She sat up, shifting to the end of the bed, and stood gracefully, making sure to let her naked hip brush him as she passed,

"At least I benefit from your perversions. I'm using your shower."

The scalding water washed away a myriad of tensions, although as always, she sandwiched herself into the corner facing the door. She didn't like to be enclosed in small spaces at the best times, but as long as she could see her escape route, she could manage. This was quite common for many of the older ninja, or ninja who had seen a lot of duty. Always know your exits.

Unbraided, her hair reached the back of her knees. It was tradition that the Hoshikusa didn't cut their hair, a homage to the flowing beards of the dragons they worshipped. How she had hated the intricate hairstyles her mother and handmaidens had spent hours pinning and preening over whilst she fidgeted on a stool. Her plait was always heavy and tight, and it felt wonderful to release the strain of it from her head and let the water rinse the soreness away. The seal on her back was prickling, and for the last half an hour or so she had been hearing Aoshun stirring in her mind, clearly ready to return to her at the right moment. He would have to wait a little longer.

"I wanted to discuss something with you, if you have a moment?" As she emerged from the bathroom, Kakashi was seated at the little table in the corner, a tea-towel slung over his bare shoulder. Opposite him, a bowl of something steaming stood waiting in the empty chair.

"You made breakfast?" She shot him a quizzical look, with a rare grin, "Should I start leaving a toothbrush here too?"

He rolled his eyes at her as she sat, "It's just breakfast. But we do need to talk."

Was he trying to tell her he finally had a girlfriend and wanted their wanton debauchery to stop? She smirked at the unlikely prospect. No doubt, Kakashi was considered something of an eligible bachelor in the Leaf Village, but he'd never lasted more than a one night stand with anyone. Her heart softened a little when she studied the contents of the bowl; spring-green fried rice with egg and a little soy. It was one of her favourites, and she could not help but be touched. When she tentatively took the first bite, it tasted wonderful. Kakashi had been orphaned even younger than she had been, and with nobody else to feed him, amongst other household chores, the internationally feared ninja was surprisingly domestic.

"I'm being assigned new genin," He told her, not quite meeting her eye, "I only know who one of them is so far, but you're… not going to like it."

"Why not?" She couldn't think of anything she cared less about than a new genin.

"It's Sasuke."

She stopped eating, "Oh." It took a moment for her to recover the surprise, slightly too long for her to pretend the news hadn't had an effect on her.

Sasuke was Itachi's younger brother, the only other Uchiha clan member left alive. They had rarely interacted; Lord Fugaku was adamant that she wasn't to be let near his youngest son, so she had only seen him a handful of times, usually from afar as he chased after Itachi when he left the Uchiha compound for his missions. The last time she'd seen him was that night…

Blood trickled in rivulets down the cobbled walkway, matching the patterns in the stones. They were too late. Bodies were piled where they had huddled to protect each other or sprawled where they had tried to run away. Her knees shook as memories she had tried to push away came tumbling back, and her breath came out in short bursts as she repeated the same words over and over again.

"He can't have… he can't have…"

"Hanami?" Kakashi rapped his knuckles on the table, bringing her back to the room, "You still here?"

"Sorry," She distracted herself by shovelling in another mouthful of rice, "Sasuke Uchiha, huh?" She faked a nonchalant shrug, "You're the best person for him. Nobody else will be able to manage his Sharingan if he has it yet. Although I'm surprised he hasn't already graduated," She added, almost as an afterthought, "Although not everyone can be like his older brother." Kakashi was the only one she felt comfortable discussing Itachi with. He had been there for a lot of their time together, had similar feelings to her when Itachi had done what he did. They had both felt like there was so much more they could have done.

"Indeed," He was still watching her face carefully, "But my main concern was that this might be tough on you."

"Tough on me?" She scoffed, although she had to force her nonchalance, "It's not like I'm going to be teaching him alongside you." But she relented when he raised an eyebrow at her, "Fine… it's true that you and I spend a lot of time together, and doubtless Sasuke and I will have to cross paths eventually. It will be weird, for sure, but I'll handle it. Like I said, he's not his brother. I appreciate your concern though, Captain, honestly."

A sudden creak from the door launched her from her seat, upending it. Her hand grasped empty air because her sword still stood propped against the wall in the bedroom, so she weaved her hands into the first jutsu she could think of, and-

"No!" A strong hand grasped each her wrists. Kakashi had leapt over the table, and was holding her hands apart, "Breathe!" He commanded, and she realised he had opened his right eye, taking no chances, his own Sharingan fixed on her, "It was just a noise. There's nobody there."

She activated her Sharingan. The mysterious ocular ability of the Uchiha clan didn't have the ability to see through walls, but it could see chakra networks. A quick scan of the area told her there was nobody around; even the neighbours in the apartments either side were gone. It was the action she should have taken from the start, and her shoulders sagged as Kakashi gently loosened his grip,

"I'm sorry." She was angry with herself as well, "I should have had my sword with me!" She marched through to the bedroom and slung it over her shoulder, and strapped her two kunai pouches around her hips, "I should never have let myself be unarmed." It was a strange feeling- she didn't need a weapon to kill; her arsenal of jutsu was almost as impressive as the Captain's, but the slight weight of her sword on her back and her kunai pouch on her hip made her feel safer, more equipped. Her sword was always the first thing she reached for in battle. Once it was clipped in place, she reached up, the hilt feeling cold and comfortable in her palm, and her breathing slowed.

Kakashi was picking up the mess she'd made, setting the chair upright and picking the shards of smashed bowl up between finger and thumb. Feeling the guilt immediately, she held out her hand towards the sink, where water from last night was still in the bowl. The water rose, forming a thick bubble, which floated down to the floor, absorbing all the mess until it had picked up everything, and then made its way to the open bin, at which point she lowered her hand and let it drop.

"It's getting worse," She said quietly, unable to meet his eyes once they had sat down again, "I'm starting to lose control of myself again. I attacked the Chief last night."

"What?" He leapt to his feet, bringing his hands down hard on the table, "That's insane! What were you thinking?"

"That's the problem. I couldn't. I don't mean I refused to-" She added quickly when he opened his mouth to argue. The words didn't make sense as they came out. "It was automatic, reactive even. I thought I'd finally got better than this, but then-" She broke off, shaking her head, "I don't even know why I'm telling you this, Captain." Her chair scraped noisily as she stood abruptly, and she tried hard not to face him as she gathered her belongings, "I already embarrassed myself enough three months ago with my lack of control." She was almost at the door, reaching out for the handle, but something made her hesitate, a twinge of pain that came from somewhere deep. She bowed her head, "I wish I could just kill everything inside me. I think it would be better."

He had followed her to the door, and was leaning against the wall,

"That's just Danzō's rhetoric poisoning your mind. He did the same to me too. Has he been talking to you again?" She was surprised by the concern in his voice, and the intimacy of his touch on her hip as he turned her to face him, "I know we're just… what we are, but I care about you a lot, as a friend as well as a lover-"

She stiffened at his words, the gentleness behind them making her want to flee. She knew he only meant the term in its sexual context, not the emotional one, but even the thought of having so much emotion for another person terrified her. Damn, even if he were to die today when there was supposedly nothing between them, it would have killed her. If she were to acknowledge the feelings she kept deep down, to allow them to grow, losing him would ensure the destruction of everything else. She would tear the world to pieces. It was too much to risk. She had lost so much already. She took a step backwards, out of his grasp,

"I'll be fine, Kakashi," Her voice sounded artificially bright, like she was forcing the words out, "I'd better put Chief Zō out of his misery. He's probably itching to have me sent to the Blood Prison. They've probably found the bodies in the archives by now as well."

"The bodies in the archives?" Kakashi seemed to falter between which part of what she had said to be more shocked about, "Why would there be bodies in the archives?"

She realised he didn't yet know about the Naruto fiasco. He really must have just got back to the village when she came to him earlier. She didn't have the time or the energy to explain it to him now,

"It will be all over the village in an hour. Somebody else can tell you. If you're that worried about me, I promise I won't do anything stupid, and I promise I won't attack the Chief anymore."

"That doesn't make me feel better," He said sarcastically, and she smiled sadly at him, before closing the door in his face.


The moment she stepped outside, Aoshun landed gracefully at her side, altering his size as his feet touched the floor until he was roughly the height of a large dog.

"I flew right out over the sea," He told her enthusiastically, "The fish in this part of the world isn't as pleasant as it is in the Land of Water, but it was good to be outside again. I did not know you and the Hatake boy were… close in such a way." He changed the conversation artfully, and she realised that the last time she had summoned him had been before she and Kakashi had started their shared agreement.

"It's not like that," How to explain the concept of mutual, no-attachment sex to an ancient dragon king? She decided it was better not to explain it at all, "I know you can feel the things I feel when you are inside my body, to an extent. Use your imagination."

"He is a very fine man, certainly fit for a princess such as yourself."

"I'm not a princess anymore," She told him firmly, "And fine man or not, I don't have that kind of time." Or the courage to lose another person she cared about, "Did you travel very far?"

"You certainly spend a lot of time enjoying each other, for somebody who doesn't have that kind of time," It was incredible how even an ancient being could be as fond as gossip as an old woman watching the world from her doorstep, "Your soul is quieter when you are together."

"Are you sure you didn't know anything about Kakashi and I before now?" She made sure the accusatory tone in her voice was obvious, "You seem to have a lot of opinions about us." She unclipped the scroll from its pouch, "I have somewhere I need to be. Are you ready to go back?"

His yellow eyes met hers. They were sad.

"You used to have me at your side all the time. If I go back, will it be a decade until the next time? Longer?"

She knelt beside him and rested her head against his. It was an act of affection, something she didn't give very often, and certainly not freely, but it comforted both of them. She hadn't always been so solitary, and for a long time after she had first come to the village, Aoshun had been at her side constantly, the closest thing she had that linked her back to her clan, the only thing that had stopped her from falling into complete insanity. Sometimes, she could hardly remember why that had ever changed.

"I'm not a good person, Aoshun. I shame the gods; I shamed my family. I'm not exiling you, I'm exiling me, but… will you let me think about it, at least?" It was difficult to ignore the deterioration in herself recently. Perhaps he could help, like he had done before. There had been a time when they were unstoppable.

He nodded,

"That is all I ask. I am ready."

She drew her freshly bloodied thumb across the scroll and buckled over in pain as his body merged with hers, the force of the entry pushing her over onto all fours, the skin of her back blazing as the seal spread itself once more across her shoulders. Every single time, it was like being branded, and every single time, it took a little more from her.


The Anbu headquarters, the reals ones, not the series of rooms in the Hokage Mountain they debriefed in, were situated deep beneath the village, directly underneath the Administration building, accessed by a single door hidden in the basement but watched at all times by CCTV. When she wasn't on a mission, Hanami spent most of her time down there, usually in a not-so-subtle attempt at not going home, either in one of the training rooms, or the series of chambers reserved specifically for Team Ro's use. Each squad had their own area, all of them branching off from three floors, and the Chief's office was at the end of the corridor on the lowest floor. Like the archives, the office of the Chief of Anbu held many resources of top secret information, and it was guarded by two anbu operatives day and night.

Despite their masks, Hanami recognised the two guarding Chief Zō's office as she approached, both of them from Team Cho, which meant it was Captain Ushi's unfortunate duty to stand at the Chief's shoulder today. Interestingly enough, Team Ro hadn't been rostered in for guard duty for about two years, which probably had absolutely nothing to do with Hanami becoming captain around that time. Although the squads all had their specialisations, it was not uncommon for certain duties to be shared between everybody to prevent skills becoming too stagnant, although Hanami couldn't think of anything more stagnant than standing outside a door that barely anybody knew how to get to.

She breathed deeply as she drew nearer, each breath pushing out a little piece of anything that made her who she was, until all that was left was the cold shell she wore when she was being the Captain. She stood straighter, her focus becoming the edge of a freshly sharpened knife, and she felt ethereal, almost separated from herself by the time she stopped in front of the guards. She nodded at them, and they stood aside immediately, allowing her to enter.

There was a sensory barrier around the office, so it was difficult to tell who was inside unless you had the Byakugan, the eye power of the Hyūga clan, or the Sharingan, although the guards would not have allowed anybody near if they had approached with that kind of power on full display. As such, it was something of a surprise to Hanami when she stepped through the door and found almost the entirety of Team Ro standing in the office as well, with the Chief seated at his desk behind them. As she had predicted, Captain Ushi stood behind him, although it was difficult to tell behind his cow mask.

"Captain Hachidori," The Chief said, curtly, his voice very controlled, "You finally decided to join us."

Hachidori was Hanami's codename. Everybody in the anbu used a codename to protect their identity, although the use of the codenames was sporadic at best. Everybody knew who Hanami was outside of the anbu, and if her white hair and scars didn't give her away immediately, her jutsu did. For the Chief to be using her codename, something very serious, requiring a very formal approach, must have happened. Surely, he wasn't going to try and fire her in front of the entire squad. She decided to play it safe, and dipped her head into a very reluctant bow,

"Forgive me, Chief, I was unaware that a meeting had been called."

"We attempted to reach you through your intercom, and when that failed, I sent your second out to look for you. He did not succeed. Fortunately-" His expression indicated he felt this was anything but fortunate, "You have arrived, and I can now share some very unsettling news with your squad." He held up a hand, and Captain Ushi silently slipped a thick, brown envelope into his waiting fingers. He tore it open, and spread out the dark, grainy images across the desk, "See for yourself."

Hanami leaned forwards. Sumūzu, who was the closest, gasped in horror.

The images were from a crime scene investigation. It was hard to differentiate from what had once been human and the bloody mound of flesh smeared over the ground and wall of what appeared to be an alleyway. Yellow guts and fat spilled out of gaping wounds hacked into the grey uniform, unmistakeably belonging to a member of the anbu. The face was gone, completely crushed into the skull, leaving a hideous image where the head should have been. Hanami could see bones, and teeth and hair, but the victim was unrecognisable. Yet, with the worst of sinking feelings, she knew who it was. It was Bara Furano, the member of her squad she had punished earlier, who was neither present now, nor earlier when they had apprehended Mizuki.

"Chief Zō," She said calmly, as the other members of the squad made the realisation and reacted to the shock and disgust, "Who did this?" Her mind was moving at a thousand miles and hour. It had only been a few hours between the last time she saw Bara and now. Who could have done this, and who could have defeated an anbu member so violently? And why? Bara was nothing special, a master of taijutsu, but there were those who were better, even in the Leaf Village. She didn't come from a notable clan with a secret jutsu, and unless she had been keeping some sort of secret, she had been an entirely ordinary shinobi, "Tell me who murdered a member of my team."

Her last words with Bara had been unfortunate, and she hadn't liked her very much, but it was the principle of the matter. Somebody had killed a member of Team Ro, an unforgivable crime. She could see Tenzō's fists clenching and Yugao's jaw working hard as she gritted her teeth; they both felt the same.

"A thorough investigation is being conducted," The Chief was already sliding the photographs back into the envelope, "This… incident poses many troubling questions. As of yet, we have no idea who did this, or why, and I strongly dislike that something of this magnitude happened in our village to one of my people." There was an emotion in his tone that Hanami had never heard before, and she in turn felt something stir in the pit of her stomach. Was that… was it respect she was feeling for the chief?

"Captain Hanami. Captain Ushi." The Chief's words brought her to attention, and Ushi moved swiftly round to the other side of the desk beside her, "This can go no further than this office. Lord Hokage has been informed of course, but I would not cause unnecessary fear. I cannot spare an entire unit to investigate this, but I would like for you to combine efforts and find out what happened here."

"Of course, Chief!" Ushi turned to Hanami. He was a large man, and she was dwarfed next to him, but he spoke to her with the utmost respect, his head bowed, "My squad will do what it can to bring Bara Furano's killer in."

She nodded her thanks, still amazed at how generous the Chief was being.

"If we find who did this, can we carry out our own justice?" It was Tamashi who spoke, his voice shaking with anger. He had liked Bara a lot, and he was still too new to have experienced the death of one of his teammates. They all looked to the Chief, waiting. He shook his head,

"I understand the need for revenge. Use it to motivate you, use it to fuel your desire to catch who did this, but when the time comes, they will face the justice of the Leaf Village fairly, no matter how much hate we have. Those are my orders."

Tamashi made to argue, but a firm hand on the shoulder from Tenzō stopped him. He bowed stiffly, and then left without a word or the order to dismiss, the door swinging shut behind him. Hanami knew his frustration, and definitely knew his anger, but she also saw the truth in the Chief's words, even if she disagreed. If it had been Kakashi, or Tenzō, or Yugao in those photographs, she wouldn't have cared what orders were given. The perpetrator would have died by her hand.

"In light of this," The Chief's eyes were on the door, "I will allow Team Ro a day to gather yourselves. You will return to duty tomorrow morning, and report to me directly here for an update and your next mission assignment. For now, you are dismissed, all of you." He waited until they began filing out, "Except for you, Captain Hachidori."

Ah. Here it was.

She turned, careful not to make eye contact with Tenzō as he passed her, and faced the desk, her working eye never leaving the Chief's face, even when the door slammed shut once more, signalling that they were alone. She readied herself for the onslaught, but then her promise to Kakashi echoed in her head.

"Chief Zō, I… I apologise for my actions earlier." Her words left a very sour taste in her mouth, "They were inexcusable, and not befitting those of a captain of the anbu. I will accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate."

"It was a shameful display of poor control," He said sternly, as if he were scolding a naughty child, "However, I accept your apology and… if apologies are being made, then I will make one also. The comment I made was untoward, and inappropriate, and I am sorry."

Very rarely was Hanami stunned, but now was one of those times. This had not been the course she had expected the conversation to take, not by a long shot. She and the Chief had butted heads for years, even before she had been made a captain, and this may have been one of the most civilised conversations they had ever had. It was an olive branch, and despite her reputation, she knew it would be stupid to refuse it now. It felt strange though, like the moment before a geyser burst its steam into the air.

"I apologise too."

"I did speak to Lord Hokage regarding what happened, and as usual he preached his extraordinary patience with you and refused to agree to your dismissal. He asked me to be mindful of recent events, and to allow you another chance, to which I agreed."

Of course Lord Hokage had let her off. Was there ever any doubt?

"I appreciate this second chance," She said stiffly. There was an uncomfortable silence between them. He was watching her such a way that reminded her of cats watching rats in the street. It was the way Danzō had looked at her sometimes, "Chief Zō… I would like to make sure Tamashi is coping with the news. May I be excused?" She wanted to be out of there.

"Of course. Please turn in your report of the Naruto incident to me tomorrow morning," She had wondered if he would bring this up, and was glad for it to be done in passing only, but he called out to her as her hand touched the door, "Captain?"

She froze.

"You were the last person to see Bara Furano alive, weren't you?"

Her grip tightened on the handle,

"That's a possibility, Chief." She could hear his smile, even if she couldn't see it. For a moment, the room crackled with intensity, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. It appeared that his apology might not have been real after all.

"I sincerely hope you weren't the last person Bara saw."

It took everything she had to not rise to it. She walked away, feeling his eyes on her back until the door swung shut behind her.