Chapter 22

Burgloth

They trudged through the snow, Artemis in front again, but this time she was glad of it. Glad that she didn't have to deal with Gaige right then and all the junk she'd spouted at her. 'Where does she get the nerve to say that to me?' She wondered 'It's not like I want to hate myself, it's just that I don't deserve to be happy, a monster never can change what it is. Still, I wish she'd stop laying things like that on me, I mean, of course I want her to be happy, but to tie that to me is unforgivable, she could have just about anybody in the Galaxy and I can't even tell someone I like them for fear of rejection.' She paused, that wasn't right, she wasn't afraid of rejection, she was afraid of bringing ruin on them, so why wasn't that the first thing that she thought of? Was Gaige getting under her skin to the point that she was losing herself? No, that wasn't it. Was it that she was starting to worry more about getting hurt again if she opened herself up then about bringing destruction down upon them? That seemed ridiculous, but it struck a chord in her, like that was right. And that made her sad. How could she be that greedy? People like her didn't end up happy, they weren't even people, they were just monsters in a human skin, pretending to fit in with those around them.

It wasn't that she was forgetting couples like Sir Hammerlock and Wainwright Jakobs, but they were different from her, though she couldn't have explained why, it was just that they were and that's why they weren't afflicted by the same curse that she was.

She wished she could articulate it, find some way of letting Gaige know that no matter what she said, it wasn't going to change anything, no matter how much Artemis wanted it to. She wanted nothing more than to be able to express herself, her real self, to be able to say all the things that were deep down inside her, but she knew she couldn't. This time it wasn't just the fear of bringing ruin down, this time it was a much simpler thing, she didn't want to lose what she had.

That was it, just the basic desire for things to stay the same, because if things stayed the same, she wouldn't have to lose anything else. She wouldn't have to be alone again.

She'd never admit it, not even to herself, but now that she'd traveled with someone, had someone to call a friend, felt their warmth near her as she fell asleep and had someone to watch her back when she went out, she couldn't imagine being alone again. The thought terrified her so much, that she couldn't even think about it, let alone talk about it.

So whenever Gaige got onto her like this, she withdrew. The fear of losing what she had swelled up as an unknown emotion in her, choking her and making her hate herself even more.

She knew that the day was coming when it would happen, she'd pretended that she was alright with it over the trip, but the more times it had happened, the more times she'd tried to convince herself that she was alright with it, the harder it became.

If she'd been conscious of the feelings, she might have been able to articulate them, to at least talk to Deathtrap about it, but since she was only aware of the vague unease, there was nothing she could do except what she'd always done, retreat into herself.

So she trudged through the snow, wordlessly. Lost in thought.

Behind her Gaige was similarly lost in thought, but in her case, it was for different reasons. She was kicking herself, she knew how fragile Artemis's mental state was, how sensitive about her sexuality and how afraid of it she was, so why had Gaige taken the bait when she'd mentioned it? Why hadn't she just let it go?

The reason was simple, because she herself was struggling with her feelings for the other girl. She liked her, but did she like her in that way? And if she did, what should she do about it?

With all the struggling she was going through, she didn't want it to be in vain if she did come to the conclusion that she really did want that kind of a relationship with the other girl. After all, it would be terrible if she finally decided that she liked her, only for Artemis to reject having any form of relationship with her. And besides that, even if Gaige decided against it, she still wanted Artemis to find someone to make her happy.

As she walked, that last part stuck with her. Did she really want that? Of course she did, she told herself repeatedly. So why was it that when she thought of Artemis with another girl, either someone like A.I. ngel or some faceless girl, some part of her twisted? Was it that she didn't want anyone else getting close to her? Or was it that she didn't want the way things were to be disrupted? She wanted to believe it was the latter, but for some reason, she just couldn't fully convince herself of that any more than she could accept that she wanted a relationship with another girl. It was possible, but just didn't feel right to her, though she supposed it was just something that she didn't want to. But she knew that she'd have to figure herself out at some point in the near future and trudging through this snowfield seemed as good a place as any to try and work things out.

As for Deathtrap, he was so tired of all this that he couldn't work up the ability to care anymore, this was something they needed to work out for themselves. Did he want them to figure it out? Of course he did, at least that's what he told himself, though some part of him was worried that they would come to a decision and that it wouldn't work out and another part of him was worried that they never would and that things would continue like this forever. Neither one was appealing, but he was already sticking his crystal in as often as he could, any more than that and he might as well just tell them how to act, and that was something that even he didn't know. So rather than beat his head against the wall, he just resolved to support them from a distance and stay out of the way unless things got really out of hand. So, he trailed along after them, enjoying the peace and quiet.

They'd trudged a fair ways from the factory when the wind started to rise, picking up small shards of snow and ice and whipping it at them, forcing the girls to bend into it as they tried to continue forward.

Despite the heavy jacket with its hood up and the scarf and goggles over her face, Gaige was freezing. Each bit of exposed skin was being pelted with ice and despite that, she could feel her shirt clinging to her with sweat, which would instantly freeze each time a gust of wind hit her wrong, blasting through some small opening and swirling around her, stealing her heat.

'This can't continue.' She thought, looking around. Off to one side she spotted a dark splotch in the snow, a cave opening and though she was aware that it might be occupied, she decided that she'd rather take that fight then freeze to death out here, so she pushed her way forward to catch up to Artemis.

"We've gotta stop." She yelled over the wind "Why don't we take shelter in that cave for a bit?"

Artemis didn't even look the direction she was pointing, instead she flatly rejected Gaige with a simple "No."

"Why not? I'm freezing my butt off out here and I can't feel my toes. We need to find shelter to warm up."

Artemis shook her head, continuing to march forward "We need to keep going."

"I can't." Gaige knew she was whining, but didn't care, there was shelter from the wind right over there, it wasn't that far away. She stopped and looked at the cave, the swirling snow playing tricks on her eyes, making the cave appear closer than before. "I need to rest, let's head for the cave."

"No."

"Why not." She snapped.

"Cause there's no caves around here."

"What're you talkin about, there's one right there."

"That's not a cave."

Gaige stopped and looked at it again. The snow continued to play tricks on her as the cave seemed larger than before, the black hole easy to spot against the bright white background.

"Uh, if that's not a cave, then what is it?"

"It's a Barghast. I told you about them earlier, remember?"

"Um..." Gaige thought back, trying to dredge up the memory. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she was too cold to think much.

Artemis sighed "Figures you weren't listening to me, wouldn't be the first time, not that I blame you, I know I'm not pleasant to talk to." She muttered before speaking up "The Barghast is the local version of the Wolven. It secretes a substance that absorbs the light. And that one's trying to decide if it should attack us, get the rest of its pack or leave us be."

Gaige looked back at the creature. It still looked like a shadow to her, but as she watched, she thought she saw it move, though that might have been the wind throwing the snow around. She glanced back at Deathtrap for confirmation and he nodded, telling her that it was in fact a creature, not that she'd doubted Artemis, it was just a bit weird was all.

"So how do we make it not want to attack?" She yelled back up.

"Well, if it wasn't so damn windy, we could just shoot it, other than that, the usual things apply, acting big and intimidating or smelling like a predator. I was hoping that they wouldn't come near us since we shouldn't smell too familiar to it, but it looks like they're probably used to people from the towns."

"So what? We should have Deathtrap charge it?"

"That might work, but I was going to let it get in close before doing anything, so try not to spread us out too much."

"Good plan."

Artemis didn't respond, she couldn't tell if Gaige was being serious or sarcastic. While she was thinking about it, she noticed the wind dying down, as if they'd entered the lee of something. Looking around, she spotted what was giving them the windbreak and paled.

Gaige was sighing, the snow that was pelting her had died down, which was a good thing. Right as she thought that, Artemis tensely stated "Not good."

"Oh, now what." She snapped without thinking about it.

"We got too close. I wasn't able to see them with all the wind."

Artemis was sounding a bit panicked, which confused Gaige. Looking around she spotted the large icicles jutting out of the ground looming near them. For a second she couldn't figure out why Artemis was acting up, but then she remembered their conversation on the way in, something about at least one of them being alive or something.

It was clear from the way she was acting that Artemis was worried, turning them sharply away from the icicles and doubling her speed till she was almost running, which in turn made Gaige feel a cold disconcerting sensation run down her spine, a sense of impending doom that she remembered clearly from her Vault hunting days, so she joined with hustling along.

They'd made it a short ways away, keeping an eye on both the icicles and the Barghast, when a flat cracking noise echoed out. As Gaige turned to look, she heard Artemis start muttering "Oh crap, oh crapohcrapohcrap".

Scanning the area, Gaige didn't initially see what had made the noise, but she quickly found the icicle that was moving. Some part of her mind wondered at it, how much strength would be required to lift something like that, how much of it was ice, what had made the other icicles?

All of that flew out of her head as the Crystal Strider stood up. Its body was encased in a massive block of ice that rose to a point dozens of feet above them. On one side, a chunk seemed to have broken off, but she quickly realized that it was the creature's head. It stuck out under a small lip of ice and turned to scan the area. She could see its multiple eyes arranged around it, hard dark things that reminded her of blackened ice, or dark gems, set into almond shaped pits that appeared to have been chipped out of its head. At first she didn't see its mouth, but then the bottom part of its head split open and it flexed its mandibles. The ice sheaths that covered its actual mouth trailed icicles beneath it as they hinged open, revealing the writhing tentacle like mandibles, each one covered in a hard looking chitin-like substance as they twitched and curled, flexing like they were tasting the air. Watching them, Gaige thought of worms, hard shelled worms, quite unlike the mouths of the Varkids she'd hunted on Pandora.

Then the creature stood up, its long thin legs unfolding from beneath it, nearly doubling its height.

Gaige felt the panic slip in and out of her, her first thought was one of horror, but then the old Vault Hunter part of her kicked the fear out and calmed her down, if it attacked her, she'd just have to kill it, that's all there was to it. It wasn't the biggest thing she'd ever fought and she was sure it wasn't the strongest, so she'd kill it if she had to.

As she tensed up to go for her gun, Artemis hissed out "Don't move."

Gaige froze, turning only her eyes to see that the other girl was in the snow. It seemed that she'd dropped down as soon as she'd sensed it standing up, covering herself in snow as some form of camouflage. Gaige looked at all the snow she'd piled on and felt cold for her.

The Crystal Strider turned slowly, scanning the area. The Barghast had turned and fled as soon as the Crystal Strider had emerged and had gotten a fair ways away, but that didn't matter to the Crystal Strider, it just took a few steps, each one seemed painfully slow to Gaige's eyes, but before she knew it the creature had caught up to the fleeing Barghast and sank low, undulating it's mandibles. Gaige couldn't see what happened next, but the sound the Barghast made froze her worse than the temperature had.

Seeming to be satisfied with its meal, the Crystal Strider took one last look around, trying to see if it had missed any prey and once it was satisfied that it hadn't, curled it's legs under it and sat down in the snow, burying itself and resuming its icicle camouflage.

"Can we get outta here?" Gaige hissed.

"Yep." Artemis answered, her head popping out of the snow and after making sure the icicle was done, pulled herself out of the snow and shook it off as best she could.

They headed out as fast as they could, keeping quiet until they were a ways away, but eventually Gaige had to ask something that had been running through the back of her mind.

"So, uh, that thing back there."

"The Crystal Strider?"

"Yeah, that thing."

"What about it?"

"Could you have killed it?"

"Of course, they're not that hard to kill with the proper weapons and set up."

"Then why were you acting all scared of it? I mean, I didn't attack it cause you made it seem like some kind of unstoppable monstrosity."

Deathtrap wished he had eyes so that he could roll them. He knew she'd been scared, even he'd been worried about facing the thing, so he was relieved when Artemis answered.

"You should've been scared of it, they kill their prey in a truly horrific way, I mean, first they"

"Don't need to hear it!" Gaige quickly cut her off, nearly slapping her hands over her ears "I'm sorry, I was scared of it, alright, you don't need to tell me more about how awful it is."

"Oh, I just thought it was an interesting fact, but if you don't want to know, that's fine."

"Yeah, I'm good. Maybe some other time, when we don't have any chance of running into one, alright?"

"OK." She shifted uncomfortably and eventually asked "Do you still want to know how to kill one?"

"Yes. I mean, we might still run into one so it would be beneficial to know that, right?"

"It would. Anyway, fire weapons work best, as do explosives, though those will likely damage the crystals that make it worth hunting. The best way to kill one would be to cut its legs off and then destroy its head. Now, normally you'd think that destroying the head would be the fastest way, but the problem is that they don't really have a brain in there, in fact, the only reason that removing the head kills them is that they starve to death, and that takes months, if not years."

"Wait, what?"

"They're not the only thing like that, I mean, there's plenty of others, mostly insects."

"Ew, no wonder you didn't want to fight it."

"Huh? Oh, that part wasn't it. The reason I didn't want to fight it is that it can easily kill you if it gets in close, I mean, you saw the size of its legs, imagine one of them stepping on you. Besides, we had no reason to fight it if we didn't have to, it would've been a waste of ammo, not to mention the wind would've made shooting it hard. Plus, we would've been starting way too close."

"That...actually makes a lot of sense. Huh, the wind's died down a bit." She looked around, the snow was settling back down, with only a few eddies and whorls left. Looking at Artemis's back, she saw the snow still clinging to it and asked "Aren't you cold? I mean, I'm still freezing and I didn't dive into a snowbank."

"Yes, I am, but you continuing to bring it up isn't helping matters."

Gaige thought about it for a minute and suddenly remembered something "Hold up a minute."

"Now what?"

Gaige didn't answer, she already had her pack off and was rooting through it "Ah, here it is. You're not the only one that can pack."

She smiled in triumph, though she realized belatedly that no one could see it behind her scarf as she held up a thermos.

"Coffee." She declared, opening it up and letting it steam up the air as she poured a cup and after a split-second internal conflict, handed it to Artemis.

"Thanks." She said, pulling her icy scarf down and taking a sip.

She quickly finished the cup and handed it back, knowing that Gaige was being patient while waiting her turn. As soon as she had the cup back, Gaige had it full again and a second later, empty.

Sighing as the warmth spread, her reprieve was cut short by Artemis saying "We should get moving again."

"Aw, one more cup."

"Alright, but after that, we've gotta go."

"What's your rush?"

"Other than freezing? I just don't like being out here after dark."

"Oh, good point."