Ok so this is the chapter no one asked for: Therapy with Salem and her minions! Plus a guest star appearance with a few spectators.
Breaking the Doctor
"I have no idea why we are doing this. This is stupid and we do not need to be here." Mercury growled out as he came into the office, followed by Emerald who has her arms crossed looking bored.
Tyrian chuckled, "Think of it as team building exercises. After all there is no 'I' in 'Team'."
"No, but there is a 'me'. So therefore, there is an 'I'. Which I say screw it and leave." Mercury turns to leave, but is stopped by Hazel and Watts.
"No, you are not. We are doing this." Watts said with an annoyed tone and an eyeroll, leaning closely he adds, "The quicker we do this, the quicker we leave. Wouldn't want to displease Her Majesty, right?"
At that moment, the air went cold and Cinder entered the room, followed by Salem. They swallowed as they parted way to allow their 'Queen' to glide into the room and take one of the chairs. She waved her hand and they sat down…albeit more hesitantly, "Who can tell me why we are here today?" No one raised their hands to answer her question, "No one?"
"Because we failed our mission at Haven and somehow reunited together?" Emerald asks giving Cinder a questionable look.
Cinder for her part remained silent as Salem looked at her maiden, "Not quite. It is what Tyrian mentioned before…what was it again?" Feigning ignorance, she asks.
His tone is calm and more respectful on the outside, but upon closer look they could see the underlying craziness, "Teamwork failed, so we want to build up that up to be a strength." Watts rolled his eyes.
"Very good. So, we are going to learn why our little…team…failed." Salem said with her hands clasped and looked at each of the in turn, "As it so happens this man had a spot opening in his schedule." She waved her hand and the door opened revealing- Dr. Stevens.
"For the record, I am doing this against my will." The doctor says as he comes into his office.
"And you have a strong sense of morality in helping those in need." Hazel comments as he leans back.
Stevens nods, "Point well taken."
"And your 'generous' compensation was deposited in your account this morning." Watts adds as he takes his scroll out to confirm the amount and payment that had gone through.
"Enough." Salem's soft but stern voice echoes in the room before Stevens could comment further, "May we begin?"
"Your time, your money." Stevens mutters clearly not afraid of Remnant's 'Wicked Witch of the West'.
There was snort and everyone looked at Mercury, "What? I've only met this guy for two minutes and I like his spunk."
"Right. Anyway, we are just waiting-" Stevens was interrupted with a knock on the door, "Oh he is here." Getting up he goes over to the door.
In a rare fashion, Salem looks momentarily confused, "Are we expecting someone else?" Emerald tentatively asks as she leans close to Cinder, afraid to ask the Dark Queen herself.
"Not that I know of." Cinder responds wary of this reaction, "She just pulled me out of my mission and told me to come here."
"So, then who is watching the precious heroes?" Mercury asks.
"Neo."
"Ice cream chick?" He asks surprised, "When the hell-?!"
"You." A growl. Low. Deadly. Predatory. One word that instilled coldness in everyone's blood as she rises from her seat to look at the child directly across the room.
"Ozpin." Hazel now growls as he sees who the person was that knocked on the door.
Dr. Stevens steps between the witch and the vengeful man and his new visitor, "No fighting shall happen in my office. This is a forced truce. Now then come, let's have a seat."
Oscar hesitantly steps further into the room, remaining by the doctor's side, "Uhm…why am I here?" Oh dear, this is not going to be fun. Ozpin answers in his mind as he takes in the death stares.
"With my observation of what has been transpiring, and knowing a real…brief…background of past transgressions;" he looks at Oscar and Salem, "I know what your problems are." Dr. Stevens begins as he looks at the group.
Tyrian looks overjoyed, Watts is bored, and the teens are confused. Hazel is murderous, and Salem is no better, "Really?" She is soft spoken, but again the chillness radiating off of her could rival Atlas's most deadly winters, "What is that?"
"I know a dysfunctional family when I see one, but this has got to be the most dysfunctional family of all." Stevens proclaims with flourish at how ridiculous this entire situation is, but he figures that the generous payment he received is non-refundable so why not just go with it.
"I'm sorry…a what?" Mercury blurts out looking between his…co-workers? Allies? He doesn't know the word, but 'family' isn't one of the words he would use to describe these insane people. Hell, 'friendship' is nowhere close on that list.
"Family." Stevens repeats, "In case you need a definition, a family is a group of two or more persons related by birth, marriage, or adoption who live together."
Now even Tyrian looks skeptical, "Uhm...if I may…and I think I speak for everyone when I say that…we are not this cohesive unit you described."
"As rare as this is, I will agree with psychotic incarnate." Watts comments as he looks between his…colleagues? Even the teens had the look of skepticism on their faces as they shared looks with him, Tyrian, and Hazel.
Hazel gave a death glare, "I had a family. He killed her." He points menacingly at Oscar.
"It wasn't me!"
Stevens raises a hand to Hazel to silence the comment to say to poor Oscar, "Ah yes right. Please bring your…roommate forward. We are actually here because of him."
"About damn time." Cinder muttered. Although she moved away once she felt the impending rage rolling off the Dark Queen.
Please do not do this, Ozpin pleads with the young man.
I'm sorry, but better you than me. Oscar focused internally and pushed Ozpin forward, while he forced himself back, "Damn it. Traitor." Ozpin mutters. There was a deep chill that went through him and immediately saw literal flames coming out of Salem's eyes and a dark aura around Hazel. Coughing to clear his throat, he fixes his posture so that he is sitting tall, "Ok. I am here. Although again, I am unsure why."
"I ought to kill you." Hazel growls out. He then looks startled as a small fireball is thrown at his feet and looks to see Salem's arm outstretched, as well as everyone else now backed a good foot away from her.
"Get. In. Line." She says enunciating the words in her deadly calm demeanor, "He is mine. As stated, this is a family dispute."
"One I did not start." Ozpin said drawl, not even dignifying her with a glance, instead choosing to look at the doctor, "So please. Why are we all gathered?"
Dr. Stevens looked around at the murderous group and said in a pleasant tone, "Well we are settling what appears to be a dysfunctional cohesive unit; which I am afraid was formed after you and your wife started a gruesome battle that has lasted way too long."
"Ex-wife." Ozpin muttered.
"Never formally filed the papers." Salem sang back.
"Never formally…" Ozpin trailed off in disbelief, "YOU MURDERED ME! AND OUR CHILDREN!"
Before Salem could respond, Cinder asked, "Wait hold on. You murdered your own children?" Even Emerald and Mercury were disturbed by this, and they helped with the destruction of Beacon.
"We had four daughters." Ozpin states arms crossed, side eyeing the witch.
"You procreated?" Tyrian asks astonished and then looking to clarify, "And then killed your offspring?"
"You two had some kind of…this is so messed up." Watts states hiding his head in his hands.
Hazel, while he wanted to murder Ozpin, was slightly more disturbed with the notion that Salem would kill her own daughters, "This is most disturbing."
"Oh please." Salem comments with a roll of her hand, "It was your own damn fault. You tried to kidnap them from me."
"What did we get involved in?" Emerald asks silently to Cinder and Mercury.
Mercury shrugs, "A soap opera of disturbing proportions."
Cinder did not know what to feel exactly. While she was thankful for the new purpose that had taken over her life versus the life she was living previously, there was something wrong. A familiar type of wrong as she watched the dark Queen, all because of the reincarnating wizard embodying the young man in front of them as he stood up and waved his cane at her, "Kidnapped?! I was saving them!"
"Ever hear of custody settlements?"
"Ok hold on. We should not make light of this; however, this is good progress. For a short amount of time this has taken." The doctor cut in.
"Someone should get his head examined if he calls this progress." Tyrian whispered loudly to Watts and Hazel. The two nodded in agreement wondering where this was headed.
"Now I would like to discuss-"
Meanwhile in another room-
RWBY and JNR looked at the ice cream hair colored woman with skepticism, "A truce?" Ruby drawled out, "Why would we accept a truce from you?"
Neo looked at them and rolled her eyes. She held up a finger and started to type quickly on her scroll before showing it to the group, "Because I have exciting entertainment to show you." Weiss read out loud while she looked at everyone, "What does that have to do with anything?" She demands to know, voicing their thoughts.
Neo held up a finger again, typed quick, and showed the screen, "Are you guys tired of being the laughing stock?" Jaune read out now. He pondered the question, "I mean sure. I guess so."
"It has gotten tiring of being shown up by our enemies. However, she never explained why she is here. Where are your new friends?"
"I told you," Nora read out once Neo finished typing as Ren was commenting, "I want to show you some entertainment; and frankly I was told to keep an eye on you all while they are busy, but I am bored so I know you must be too." Nora finished as Neo pulled her scroll away, "I mean she isn't wrong. There is only so much training we can do."
Yang eyed the mute with skepticism, "And how do we know she won't try anything?"
"Get over it blondie. The train fight came, saw, and left the station a long time ago." Ruby read out now, with the desired attitude to match. Immediately there was a feeling of a heat wave that was directed at her, "What?! I just read what she wrote!"
Blake shrugs, "I mean Nora is right. We have nothing better to do. I'm bored anyway."
They directed their gaze towards Ruby, who was eyeing Neo with suspicions, "Alright fine. What kind of entertainment are we talking about?" Neo smiled brightly and skipped off towards with them in tow.
Back in the office-
"I WAS ESSENTIALLY BLACKMAILED!" Ozpin yelled out furiously, "The Gods-"
"Screw the Gods!" Salem shouted back, "I tried to commit suicide to be with you! I tried to give you an out when you came back! We were happy!" She slowly circled the room, "You made your own damn grave now go back, crawl into it, and stay there to rot!"
"Only if I could!" Ozpin shouted back.
Watts, Cinder, Tyrian, Emerald, Mercury, and Hazel watched like a tennis match, "Why are we here again?" Mercury questioned if not for the twentieth time.
Watts sighed, "Because according to this…quack…we are being used to fill some sort of sordid void in her;" he throws a hand motion towards Salem, "heart."
"She has a heart?" Emerald blurts out, but winces even though now it seemed that Salem and Ozpin are in a deadly staring match, which is a lost effect due to Ozpin being reincarnated into a teenager, who is a little younger than she is.
"Everyone has a heart dear." Tyrian purrs out, "But I do agree, it seems like we do not need to be here."
"Really? Tell me, why did you decided join with Salem." Stevens asked the scorpion faunus before directing his gaze to all of them, "It couldn't have been for the benefits."
"Benefits." Watts chuckled, "We do not even have a union!"
"You are not unionized?" Stevens gasped out, "My my that does not bode well at all." He tsked.
This got Salem's attention, "What are you talking about? I give you room and board with food. I pay you a decent wage."
Cinder huffs, unable to keep quiet, "Right, yes and you said this was paid for. Non-refundable am I right?" Her gaze locks on the doctor, who sits back now and nods, "So tell me, is our pay going for this or is this covered on our insurance?"
Hazel chuckles now, "Insurance? What insurance? We do not health insurance, much less dental!"
"I only joined to expand my skills in the technology field since Ironwood is too much of an idiot to see potential that has no relation to his precious army." Watts said with his tone superior, "But yes having insurance would be nice."
"I just like causing chaos and destruction…but having insurance would have been nice after the incident involving my tail. You'd think I would get a discount for being a comrade in arms, but nooooo. Not Tyrian…" He looks over at Watts.
Watts's eyes narrow now, "Excuse me, I had to get the material and parts needed somehow. Think that crap was free?"
"We are terrorists and criminals! You shouldn't have had to worry about paying for anything!"
"Pardon me, but is my face on any posters in the kingdoms? No? Ok then. I rest my case. That is called laying low and toeing the line."
Emerald and Mercury look at one another before glancing at Cinder who just shakes her head. They weren't going anywhere near that conversation. Hazel just huffs now, questioning his own life choices. He just wanted to end Ozpin and get revenge for his sister. That was it.
Speaking of Ozpin. The boy let's out a chuckle and says, "Wow. No insurance, not even dental. Do you even get a retirement plan?"
"We don't have a union. What makes you think we get a retirement plan?" Hazel demands in a growl.
"My apologies. At least I give out dental, health, retirement, maternity leave, compensation pay, and paid vacation time." Ozpin said crossing his arms and looking smug.
Emerald nodded, "Way better than what we have now. We were essentially threatened to come here today."
"Oh…" Stevens looks at Salem, "Threatened huh?"
Salem scoffs, "Strongly encouraged."
"Voluntold." Cinder says, "I was pulled away from an important mission."
"Same." Tyrian and Watts chorused out.
Hazel shrugged, "It was my day off."
Ozpin side eyed the doctor, "You requested my presence."
Stevens looked at Mercury, "Mercury do you have anything to comment on? You're quiet. Is everything ok? Something you would like to get off your chest?"
Mercury looks around, having been put on the spot, "Ok so I can't really give a shit. Ok? I do not care. I killed my father. I became an assassin. I made it in life without a damn semblance. Your theory of this 'family unit' is bullshit. Even if we were, which we are not; no family is perfect and there far better things than to worry about being a damn family."
In the room next to the office through a one-way mirror-
"They do not have a union?" Nora gasped out, "That is sad and not right!"
"They don't even have dental." Jaune stated, "Speaking of which, should we approach Ironwood about our benefits and stuff…since we are 'employed' by Atlas? It's been a while since I've seen a dentist."
"Screw that! We should go to Ozpin and get in on his shit! Like what the hell?" Yang demanded waving at the mirror, "Little shit lies to us, keeps shit hidden, and then reveals this while in a therapy session with his ex?"
"Not really an ex since divorce papers were never filed." Nora pointed out.
"Estranged then…whatever. My point stands." Yang said firmly. Ruby raised her hand and waved it, getting Yang's attention, "What?"
Ruby put her hand down and asked, "Are they not technically married anymore since you know, he technically died? She like killed him?"
"Again, I couldn't care less about the semantics of their torrid relationship." Yang growled out, "I want my damn compensation!"
Blake nods, "Would be nice to get some compensation for all that we have been through."
Neo just smiled and held out a bowl of popcorn towards a disappointed Ruby. She gave the reaper a look of 'what did I tell you'?
Brightening up she smiles suddenly, "You are right. This is great!" Ruby comments taking a handful, "Best entertainment I've had in a long while."
"But really. No union. The working conditions…" Ren said.
"She did say though that they do have room and board and food." Weiss points out.
"But that is the extent of it." Ren finishes, "It cannot be all that it is cracked up to be."
Neo holds up a finger and types a quick message. She shows it to him- It's not, in fact it is downright scary. They focus back on the office.
"You cannot mean that." Stevens says to Mercury.
"The hell I do! I am sick and tired of being treated like shit! You never cared about us!" He states to Cinder, who doesn't look impressed, "You are blind to this fact. Just because you never had a mommy to love you, you look to get anything you can get while you sit there and have a crisis identity issue." He says to Emerald, who looks shocked/angry/hurt, "and all of this?" He waves an arm around, "Is a fucking joke!"
Silence settled in now as they stared at him, "How long have you been holding that in?" Ozpin asks slowly.
"A while. Since Haven honestly." Mercury says, "You wanted me to share, so I shared. Can I go now?"
Stevens holds up his hand, "No not yet. However, we can use this outburst as a learning experience."
"Learning experience." Cinder sneers out. Heads turn towards her now, "You have no idea. You and your daddy issues. He may have taken your semblance, but did you ever wear a shock collar like a damn dog?! Years of torture and being shocked into submission with the feeling of worthlessness starts to do things to you. You think you are a big bad man?" She questions with her eye lighting up, "You are nothing, but a boy."
The atmosphere was tensing now, "Ok so it is never a good idea for anyone to bottle up emotions." Stevens said trying to regain some order.
"I just…" Seeing the looks that she was getting, Emerald quickly shut her mouth and rethought her statement, "I mean that is, I saw this as a second chance…that's it." She looked unsure of herself now as Mercury's words hit their mark from before.
The adults looked toward each other. Not daring to say anything, although Tyrian liked Mercury's outburst and he gave a gleeful smirk towards the assassin. Hazel looked bored, and Watts was unamused, but he did glance at Cinder with interest. Salem for her part scoffed, "See? Without you where would these children be? What other purpose would they have? I gave them a second chance instead of a futile cause."
"No cause is futile." Ozpin says, "Expect maybe your own."
"Go to hell."
"Again, I wish I could." Ozpin stated then he said, "Oh wait I am living it!"
Back in the other room, "Oh please tell me all this is being recorded." Ruby said excitedly.
"That is harsh." Blake said with a deadpanned look, "I actually feel bad for them…to some extent." She adds seeing everyone else's look.
"I of course meant for research purposes." Ruby defends herself.
Neo taps her shoulder and shows the reaper her scroll which Ruby silently read to herself, you totally want to watch this again later as an encore presentation. Ruby smirks and gives a thumbs up just as Salem retorts, "YOU BETRAYED ME! WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!"
"I betrayed you?! You went to the God of Darkness to bring me back! What makes you think I wanted that to happen?! I accepted death! Greeted it like an old damn friend even!"
Salem scoffed and crossed her arms, "I fucking loved you! I couldn't bear to live without you! And newsflash, you married me smartass."
"Oh yes right. We married. Jokes on you though. Know why?" Ozpin retorted triumphantly.
Oh, how she wanted to wipe that smirk off his damned face, "Why?" She sneered out.
"TIL DEATH DO US PART BITCH! WE PARTED!" (A/N: I just want to thank PowerTaco for the quote! If you haven't read their stories, please go check it out!)
In the other room jaws were hanging open, "Oh boy. Looks like they are going to need more than one session." Jaune comments as he accepts some popcorn from Neo.
"This reminds me of show…I cannot think of it though." Yang says as there is now a large commotion happening in the office with Ozpin and Salem nearly nose to nose, but now everyone is too afraid to go near them, "Hey can I have some of that?" She asks Neo as the shorter woman rolls her eyes but passes the bowl to her.
Suddenly there was an explosion and when the dust settled everyone was too stunned to move, "I'm going to say that we are out of time." Stevens comments with a cough, "Good progress. Same time next week?"
"Yeah we'll call you." Hazel says slowly getting up and dusting himself off and the others follow suite.
"Not me. I'm done. Keep checking your mail." He says storming out of the office.
"Why's that you snake?" Salem called out.
"For the damn divorce papers!" He shouts back.
She glares at the doctor now, "Non-refundable means non-refundable." He comments hands up in surrender.
She takes a deep breath and glides out of the room without a word, "So do we go back or-" Mercury starts to ask.
"I'd stay clear if I were you." Tyrian says sounding scarily normal, "Let's just go back to our business. Mercury?"
"Right." He looks at Emerald and shrugs before leaving.
"I will go meet Neo." Cinder pulls her scroll out as she too leaves.
Hazel and Emerald share a look and are the last ones out without so much as a word, "So this was fun." Watts comments, "Here is a little extra for the entertainment." He taps on his scroll a few times before the doctor's scroll dings and he takes his leave.
Neo bows to the team and vanishes from their view, "Well that was fun." Ruby comments again as they leave the room once the coast was clear.
They see Oscar leaning against a wall, looking pale and sickly, "Hey, what did Dr. Stevens want?" Jaune asked playing stupid.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Ugh…I'm going to be sick." Oscar says not knowing to hold his head or stomach.
Serves you right, Ozpin says bitterly, "Ugh…I'm just going to-" he makes a move to take a step before death gripping the wall for support, "actually I'm just going to sit here." He slides down it.
Their amusement wore off quickly at this, "I'll get a nurse." Weiss volunteers.
"I'll come with you!" Ruby calls out as her scroll dings. A message from unknown with a video link. Ruby smiles and saves it, after all encore for later.
