Chapter 53: What Dreams Will Come


He could still smell the smoke.

Bertilak smiled to himself. As a general rule, he wasn't the type of man to ever look back, but if he had, he knew what he would have seen behind him.

The faint gray smoke of the burning forest far in the distance, and the miles of barren wasteland between there and here.

Everyone had always said that the Impenetrable Forest was haunted with spirits and other secrets of the Old Religion, and yet it had burned just as normal wood burns, the trees had fallen as normal trees fall, and the smoke curled into the orange sky in great billows.

So much for terrifying spirits, he thought.

Bertilak never looked back; he only looked ahead, at the dark stone towers that loomed in the distance. A place only fabled, and obscured behind half truths and fantasy; the Castle of the Fisher King.

All that mattered was ahead of him, where everything was in his grasp.

XXX

"Now do as I say very carefully."

Morgana saw Merlin nod, his shoulders suddenly tense. He swallowed hard. "I need a moment." he said, as he turned and walked back out the door into the hallway.

Morgana glanced around, meeting Arthur's eyes only for a moment before following Merlin.

He was leaning against the wall, a few paces down from the door. His eyes were screwed tightly closed, and he breathed in deep evening breaths.

Morgana reached out with one hand and stroked gently across his jawline.

Merlin's eyes snapped open. Seeing her, his expression softened almost instantly, but there was still something wild and dark in his eyes. She watched as he took a deep breath, his chest expanding before releasing a long breath into the air.

"I don't know why I'm acting like this," he sounded almost apologetic. "It's not like I haven't killed before. But this?" he shook his head. "It feels different."

"You aren't in the middle of battle, or defending anyone. It feels different because it is; but," she reminded him, "he wants this."

"He's still innocent." Merlin said, closing his eyes again.

She smiled wryly. "You tried to kill me once." Morgana countered.

Merlin turned a deep scarlet, and cracked one eye open. "Will I ever be done apologizing for that?"

Morgana smiled again, and shook her head. "One of us will have to die first," she joked.

Merlin frowned. There it was again, that feeling that he was hiding something. And frankly, she'd quite had enough of that, thank you very much. "What's wrong, you've been acting strange ever since we set foot here," she demanded.

Merlin was quiet for a moment, weighing, she presumed, the odds that he was able to get away with a lie. Not likely, she thought. At last he said, quietly, defeatedly; "I don't think we're all going to make it out of here alive."

His words should have surprised her, she knew that; but they didn't. That's what she hated the most. "I've had a terrible feeling about this place that won't go away," she said.

Merlin only nodded. "I don't know why I ever try to hide anything from you."

"That never turns out well for either of us, does it?" Morgana agreed. She kept her voice soft; she could be mad at him later, she thought.

She held out her hand. "Come," she said. "You have a promise to keep, and a cup to bring home."

Merlin grasped her hand, and raised it to his lips, kissing the smooth skin there. As he lowered her hand down, his clear blue eyes raised up to meet her own, searing into her more than the warmth of his breath against the back of her hand had.

Wordlessly, she pulled him toward her in a passionate kiss, her body flush against him, her back against the rough stone walls, as his hands ghosted down over her sides.

And then it was over, far too soon. Merlin broke away, leaning his forehead against hers. "We should get back," he said, his voice thick, "They'll wonder where we are."

Morgana nodded, and kissed him quickly once more, before turning to head back into the dilapidated room.

XXX

Merlin stood before the Fisher King once more. "I'm ready," he said.

The old man nodded. "As am I," he said.

Merlin still had a thousand questions racing through his mind for the Fisher King; questions he wasn't sure he wanted answered. Chief among them; how had the world changed through his life? Why had he chosen this, and had the price of immortality been worth it?

At what point did he wish for death?

The Fisher King held out the Cup of Life. "Amlas," he said. The cup filled itself with clear water. "It's important to understand," he continued, "that for some uses the Cup doesn't need a spell, but when it does, the only thing that can undo it is even stronger magic. I realized that mistake too late. Be wary, Emrys; a spell you cast will not be broken."

A cold shiver went up his spine. "I understand."

"When you are done," The Fisher King said, "And I am dead, you will need to move quickly. The ring I gave Princess Morgana will keep the wyverns and my enchantments at bay, but the spells keeping the castle up will be gone, and this whole place will fall to pieces like the rest of my kingdom."

Merlin nodded. Behind him, he heard Arthur shift on his feet, no doubt thinking of Elyan left behind in the hallways.

The Fisher King passed the Cup of Life to Merlin. "Repeat after me," he said. "Hærnm æst hasufâg of hygesceaft, yfel êower hagorûn."

Merlin took a deep breath. "Hærnm æst hasufâg of hygesceaft, yfel êower hagorûn." The water in the cup began to swirl slowly.

The Fisher King continued; "Befaran ðêos willa âwegêade. Belêosan ðêos esne forðian sehtnes."

"Befaran ðêos willa âwegêade. Belêosan ðêos esne forðian sehtnes." Merlin repeated. water in the cup of life, he had said, I recant your spell. Take this life away. Let this man find peace. Merlin hoped desperately that's what he was doing. Darkly, he wondered, if the future he had witnessed cam to pass, would there ever be anyone to do this spell for himself?

"Lîefan of hê oðcwelan." The Fisher King continued, "Yfel hæs êow,self êower l æn."

"Lîefan of hê oðcwelan. Yfel hæs êow,self êower l æn." Let him die. I command you, give up your gift.

Merlin felt the magic rush through him, tingling at the tips of his fingers. The water in the Cup of Life swirled more, and then lay still as glass.

Merlin offered him the cup.

With shaking hands, the Fisher King grasped the heavy metal of the cup in both hands. He raised it to Merlin in a toast. "Thank you, Emrys, and good luck." he said, before lifting it to his lips and drinking deeply.

As he lowered the cup, for a brief moment, Merlin wondered if the spell had worked. Then the Fisher King's head lolled back, and Merlin caught the cup as it slipped through his grasp. He felt the magic disperse through the room, gone into the air. The ancient sorcerer sat still and cold, and appeared even smaller in death.

Merlin felt a grasp on his arm, and turned to see Arthur, his face urgent. "We need to leave now," he said.

As he spoke, the very walls and floors of the castle began to tremble.

Merlin tore himself away from the Fisher King, stuffing the Cup of Life hurriedly into the bag at his side and rushed to the room's exit just behind Gwaine and Leon.

They took the stairs two at a time, half stumbling, half running down the narrow staircase, even as the shaking tower fought to undermine their every step. Dust was beginning to rain down from their heads as they ran down the hallway at the bottom of the stairs.

"Take a left!" Leon called to Lancelot and Arthur at the front of the pack.

At the gate, Elyan still stood firmly at the other end of the landing, his hand grasped around the lever. He grinned as he saw them.

"We got it!" Tristan called.

Once Merlin had crossed in front of the gate, Elyan let the lever go, and the clang of the metal gate hitting the stone rang out.

"The only thing keeping the castle from falling apart like the rest of the Perilous Lands was the Fisher King's magic," Merlin explained breathlessly as they sprinted down another staircase, "Now that he's dead the castle is destroying itself."

Elyan nodded. Merlin could see the questions forming in his mind, but thankfully he let them be for the time being.

They didn't meet any more traps or monsters as they raced back through the gargoyle hall, true to the Fisher King's word, even though there were large clouds of falling dust that threatened to blind them, joined by small debris of stone from above their heads.

As they passed through the first staircase, the shaking picked up in ferocity, and Morgana and Percival both stumbled.

Morgana!

I'm fine. She responded, as Gwaine helped her up. Percival had caught himself against the wall, and pulled himself back up.

"We have to hurry!" Arthur yelled back.

At the bottom of the staircase, they ran down through the hallway, even as cracking sounded from above.

"Scildan!" Merlin yelled just in time as a large chunk of the ceiling fell, shattering against the golden shield above their heads. Seconds later it was joined by another, and then another, as the castle fell to pieces around them.

The pit they had crossed earlier now stood before them, coming closer with every step. A large chuck of stone ceiling, roughly the size of a horse, reverberated off Merlin's shield. If they couldn't cross quickly, Merlin's shield would be little help against the entire castle crashing down around them.

"Florstan alan!" Morgana called, and the floor stretched forward from in front of them to cover the pit back up just before they reached it.

The exit stood open right before them, the bright orange sunlight shining ahead, just a little bit closer now, almost there, and yes!

Merlin thought he would never be happier to see the Perilous Lands. Behind them, the castle of the Fisher King continued to tremble and shake, coughing up dust from the foundation into the air, as loud thunder-like booms and crashes continued from each falling piece.

Merlin breathed a deep sigh, stooping to catch his breath. They still needed to move further away from the castle, he knew, before it completely fell apart, and then they had a long journey back to Camelot, but for the first time, the end to all their problems was within his grasp, and soon-

"We have company!" Lancelot's voice rang out.

Merlin raised his eyes. There, approaching fast, were over two dozen men on horseback. Far too close, and getting even closer; he could just make out the green tint of Bertilak's armor.

To their backs was the castle, to the right were their horses, too far to make any difference if they got to them.

"Stand ready to fight!" Arthur called, drawing Excalibur. He locked eyes with Merlin, and he read the unspoken message in his eyes. Guard the Cup of Life, above everything else.

Merlin nodded and squared his shoulders as the knights drew their swords.

Merlin stretched out his hand. He felt his magic course through him, and watched as the ground in front of him cracked, stretching towards the approaching force.

The horse's legs got caught in the cracks in the earth, and they stumbled, unhorsing five of the riders, and sending them tumbling to the ground.

An arrow from another rider flew toward Arthur, and Morgana's spell caught it in midair, and sent it hurtling back to the archer, striking him in the neck. He too, fell from his horse to the dry ground.

"For the love of Camelot!" Arthur yelled, and led the charge into the fray.

Behind him, there was a thunderous boom, as the castle finally crashed to the ground, exploding in a cloud of dust, obscuring everyone and everything from his view.

Around him, he could hear the sound of swords clashing, and voices calling out.

Merlin shielded his face for a moment, coughing as the dust coated his lungs.

He blinked the dirt away from his vision, as Bertilak, unhorsed, and sword drawn, approached him slowly.

"Forbaerne Ácwele!" Merlin said, a fireball appearing in his hand. He threw it, and the Green Knight dodged, but not perfectly, and got his in the shoulder of his sword arm.

Bertilak grunted, and fell to his knees.

"Surrender," Merlin said, "and you might leave here with your life."

Bertilak looked up at Merlin, a storm of hatred in his eyes. "I'd rather die," he said. "But I won't." He tensed, and with his other arm, he threw a glass vial at Merlin, hitting him square in the chest. The glass shattered, and the liquid steeped into Merlin's shirt, and he stumbled. Not from the force of the impact, no. Not that at all. An empty, hollow feeling came through him, leaving his skin cold.

His magic wouldn't come to him.

Bertilak grinned. He straightened up, grasping at his sword again. "Not so impressive now, are you? You thought you were a legend in the making, but now, you're going to die like a dog!"

Before Merlin could move, Bertilak plunged his sword into Merlin's abdomen. White, hot searing pain exploded from the wound, as Merlin stumbled back; wordless, breathless.

Dimly, he saw as Bertilak grabbed at the bag around his shoulder, the bag with the Cup of Life. Merlin tried to pull away, but the bag was ripped away from him.

"I guess it looks like I won't be the one dying after all." Bertilak said. "Save a place in Hell for your king." And he thrusted his sword into Merlin's stomach again.

Vaguely, he recalled Queen Mab's warning, too late; Before tomorrow's end, one of you shall die. Of course she had meant him. Not Gwaine, not Lancelot, not Elyan or Arthur. Himself

XXX

Morgana stumbled, blinking away the dust in her eyes. There was a rumble like thunder and the Fisher King's castle continued to break apart piece by piece.

The sound of swords clashing and men yelling, trying to find both friend and foe in the dust.

In the dust.

The rumble.

The shaking ground.

The yelling, the swords...

A chill crept up Morgana's spine to tighten an iron fist around her heart.

The ring around her finger from the Fisher King felt like a weight pulling her under a frozen lake. Sealing her fate.

"No." she whispered. "Merlin."

A shadow approached from the dust. A shape she could recognize in the dark.

"NO!"

Morgana ran.

"Scildan!" a golden shield dome came over her head as she caught Merlin in her arms.

It felt exactly as it had in her dream.

"Merlin, don't you dare die on me!" with shaking hands, she pressed down on his wound. "Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare." she tried. The spell didn't catch. "Merlin, it won't work," her voice was hysterical, tears streaming down her face freely. "Merlin, fight, you promised you wouldn't leave me without putting up a fight. Come on!" She shook him. He was so pale.

Slowly, one of his hands moved to cover her own, the hand with the ring.

Merlin's mouth opened and closed, but he couldn't muster any words.

She understood him perfectly.

His eyes closed.

"Merlin, Merlin stay with me!" Morgana shook him, frantic. Not his eyes, that gaze could not, would not, be gone from her forever.

Desperate, she kissed him, as if she could breathe life into him from her own lungs, past his dry, cracked lips.

Under her fingertips, his pulse was slow, and stopped altogether.

"No!"

Something broke inside her.


Next Chapter: In Your Hands (coming 12/31)

Well. I'm gonna hide now.

Anyways! Everyone have a merry christmas if you celebrate and I'll see you all New Years Eve!