Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.


"Hey, guys! Check it out!"

Stan's cry attracted the attention of Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. They lifted their gazes to peer to where their friend was pointing towards.

The four boys were hanging out together at Stark's Pond. It was a beautiful night - and something in the starry sky had caught their attention. They watched as the object soared over South Park for all to see.

"It's a shooting star!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Big deal!" Cartman let off a bored yawn. "Shooting stars aren't cool, dude!"

"Yes they are!" Stan argued. "Shooting stars are supposed to grant wishes!"

"Grant wishes?" Cartman's fat face lit up upon learning of what he had just seen in the sky was supposed to do. "Sweet!"

"Well we've just seen a shooting star!" Kyle said. "What should we wish for?"

"Well I know what I'm gonna wish for." Stan gazed thoughtfully up towards the sky. "I wish I could stop throwing up every time Wendy talks to me!"

"Hi, Stan!"

"BLEUGH!"

The moment he heard the sweet voice of the girl he liked, who had suddenly just appeared right behind him, Stan threw up violently.

"EWW!" Wendy squealed, running away from the scene in disgust. "That's gross, Stan! So gross!"

"What the hell!" Stan frowned at the puddle of his own luke before him. "That shooting star didn't grant my wish!"

"That's because your wish was so lame!" A hungry smile crossed Cartman's overweight face. "I wish for a load of cheesy poofs … with some powered donut park cake surprise to go with it … along with some ice cream-"

"And I'm gonna wish for you to stop being an annoying stupid fat ass!"

"'EY!" Cartman's smile disappeared in his outrage as Kyle revealed what he was wishing for. "I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT CRAP FROM A GOD DAMNED JEW!"

"DON'T RIP ON ME FOR BEING A JEW, FAT ASS!"

"DON'T CALL ME FAT, YOU CRAPPY LIL' JEW!"

"Jesus Christ!" Stan slapped a hand to his head as he frowned irritably. "I wish I'd wished for you two to stop fighting all the time!"

Stan's words fell on deaf ears as Kyle and Cartman completely ignored him while hurling profanities and insults at each other.

Realising there was no way that wish of his was going to come true either, Stan turned to the other one of his friends, who had not said a single word since sighting the shooting star.

"What are you wishing for, Kenny?"

Kenny mumbled his reply from underneath his hood.

"You wish you could stop dying all the time?" Stan echoed what the poor boy had told him. "Killer!"

"Hey, guys, look!" Kyle had stopped berating Cartman to point towards the sky. "The shooting star is coming back!"

Sure enough, the object they had seen earlier was flying in the air, sparkling brightly in the night sky. The boys stood where they were to observe it - before realising something was wrong.

"It's coming a bit close, isn't it?" Cartman remarked.

"Yeah!" Kyle agreed. "It seems to be heading right this way!"

Realising the danger that was approaching, Kenny pulled the strings on his hood, tightening it up as if to shield himself.

"Oh no … IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!"

Stan's loud tone was filled with alarm as he echoed the catchphrase of his Uncle Jimbo. The boys watched with horrified looks as the shooting star plummeted towards them, seeming to get bigger by the second as it approached.

"MOOOOOOOOOOVE!"

The boys all yelled with alarm as they attempted to jump out of the way. Stan, Kyle and Cartman only just managed to leap to safet just in time as the shooting star crashed down hard on the ground - landing right on top of Kenny and crushing him underneath.

"OH MY GOD!" Stan cried. "THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"You bastards!" Kyle yelled, shaking his fist at the sky.

The three remaining boys gathered around the shooting star which had crushed their friend to death - and failed to give any of them what they had wanted.

"This sucks!" Stan fumed. "It didn't grant a single one of our wishes!"

"Weak, dude!" Kyle huffed.

"I told you guys shooting stars weren't cool! But nooooo! Nobody listens to Cartman!"

"Shut up, fat ass!"

"'EY!" Cartman snapped over what the other two boys had chorused together at him. "I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED THOUSAND BILLION TIMES; DON'T CALL ME FAT!"

Having enough of shooting stars and his friends, Cartman flipped Stan and Kyle off before turning around and walking grumpily away, leaving the pair of them behind with Kenny's crushed, bloodied corpse.

"SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!"


The end.