Chapter 50

Second last chapter... let me know what you think. Tried something to dig a bit deeper - something I always wanted in the show.

ooo

"Take your time."

"Shut up."

"Take your time."

"I heard you. And I told you, shut up."

Rose was sitting at the table, listening to Sawyer and Jack bicker. She looked up as they slowly walked past. Sawyer had been doing laps around the table, leaning on the wheelchair handles. He was getting stronger. Still annoying. But getting stronger.

"Slow down."

"Shut up."

"You two are like an old married couple."

"Haha. Well, tell him to stop getting on at me."

"Sawyer, you need to slow down. You'll tire yourself out too quickly. You want to do more laps, not faster laps."

"Yeah doc, I hear you." But he didn't slow down.

"I need to clean the wound. Lie down."

"I'm sure I can do it myself..."

ooo

"No. Lie down."

"Can't you just..."

"Nope. Come on. Rose and John are through there. It's just us. Come on."

Sawyer just looked at him, slowly lowering himself on the bed. He had been wanting to see the burn. Felt like enough time has passed. He hadn't told anyone, but he was remembering more and more about the missing time from boat to hatch. He remembered Jack's reaction when he tried to look at it before. He winced as Jack started cleaning it.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Great." Without realising, he started looking down. Jack grabbed his chin, causing him to flinch back.

"What are you doing?"

"Me? What are you doing, don't go grabbing me like that."

"I'm sorry, but... what are you doing?"

"What? You think I'll never see it? Go through my life always looking up? Just thought, now is as good a time as any."

Jack just looked at him. He didn't want this to happen, but Sawyer was right.

"Ok. Stand up."

"Why?"

"Stand up. Come over to the mirror. You'll get a better view. That's what you want, right?" Sawyer could hear the coldness in Jack's voice. But he nodded, slowly pulling himself up. The cool air stung the burn – it was the first time the bandage was off for any amount of time. "Now, it's healing. But not healed. I think I'll be able to..."

"Stop. I'm sure you've made me pretty." Jack didn't smile. He looked conflicted. "Hey. It's fine. Don't beat yourself up. I'm fine." They walked towards the mirror, Sawyer suddenly nervous. He could feel the energy radiating from Jack. He stepped in front, lifting his head to look in the mirror.

He stared. The skin was still red, the skin melted and almost concave where the taser had hit. The wound was large, stretched across his chest and disappearing on to his back. Lower on his torso, the older burn, not as noticeable, but still there. His chest hurt in the open air. The skin around the burn was still bruised. As he went to touch it, he looked in the mirror, at Jack standing behind him. His eyes were dark. But he wasn't looking in the mirror.

"What? Jack, are you ok?"

"What happened to your back?" Sawyer just looked at him. "We... we saw the scars in the cage. When Frank..." his voice faded out, it was the first time they had spoken about it, said his name, "when we thought he'd killed you. We saw them. Hid them from..."

"Why didn't you say?"

"Gathered you didn't want us to." The silence took over. Jack was about to speak when Sawyer surprised him.

"After... after my parents died, I didn't have anyone. Well, I lived with my grandparents for a few months. Moved from Alabama to Tennessee. Then..." he started leaning to the side.

"Sit. Sit. You're tired," Jack helped him back to the bed, "Don't worry about it. I'll wrap your chest..."

"After a few months," he continued as if there had been no interruption, "they decided... they couldn't hack it."

"What happened?" Jack was sitting across from him, on the chair, he had the bandage in his hands, but he wasn't moving. He and Sawyer locked eyes.

"I went in the system."

"No I mean, why didn't they..."

"Couldn't handle it. Didn't want the son of the guy who killed their daughter in their house."

"But you said..."

"He came home. Shot her. Blew his head off. His name was James too."

"Sawyer..."

"I heard it. Saw it." He just looked at Jack, who was looking back, "I don't want your pity."

"I'm not..."

"You are. Stop it. I don't want it or need it."

"How did it happen?" There was a beat of silence before Sawyer responded.

"He was pissed. She told me to hide under the bed. Heard the shot. Saw him... he sat on the bed. To do it. I don't like small spaces."

"You should've told me. I would've..."

"It's fine."

"Shutting you in here couldn't've helped though."

"It's fine." They just looked at each other.

"What happened next? Different foster homes?"

"Seventeen homes in seven years. Took off when I was fifteen."

"And went where?"

"Wherever I wanted."

"Where'd you live?"

"Here and there."

"Sounds rough."

Sawyer smiled before looking away, lowering his back to the bed, "Just life."