The air was heavy and smelled of sunshine, fish dumplings, and stray cats the day Naruto's world ended. He had never given much thought to how things smelled, save the truly rare and exceptional of his instant ramen collection. But the dissolution of his clones was always a rush of sensations, and Naruto was paying a little extra attention to the experiences of this one.
He tightly closed his eyes, absorbing the minutia of his shadow clone's past few months. Hunts of great strain late into the nights. Friends around the world with one rueful shrug after another. Embers and ashes in every step in-between. And one dead trail after another. Raw talent and sage enhancements weren't enough, he needed a ninja with sensory skills, one who specialized in tracking.
Chaos gnawed from the inside out, the fox raging for action. Something better than a clone. She deserved better than a clone. Nostalgic thoughts drifted to a time when his greatest responsibility was that of his own sense of right and wrong. When every moment not chasing after a lost friend, was wasted time. The freedom of childhood.
But already, Naruto could hear the sounds of early morning pleasantries and passive-aggressive reminders for the day's work ahead, just outside his office. It would be any moment now.
Freedom. That had been the key. The change. The big mess at the center of everything.
Childhood had never been precious to Naruto. Between dead parents, fights to the death, and an ongoing need to save the world, it was hard to differentiate the work of adults from that of kids. So, Naruto hadn't truly understood his childhood was over until the day he realized his choices were no longer his to make. That he could no sooner follow his heart than leave the Leaf on a whim, if the nation's inner council thought it detrimental to the future of the Leaf.
Naruto knew he was a good hero. He showed up, fought hard, won the day. But with each day, he was less and less sure how good of a leader he was. Status, it turned out, was nothing like learning a new jutsu or skill. Because status, was just a label. A name on a desk. A face on a mountain. But it didn't actually earn you anyone's loyalty, agreement, or love. And all that hard work doesn't give you power, it gives you responsibilities, enemies, and a cage with a beautiful view of the city.
All he ever wanted, and he was trapped by a game of politics he wasn't very good at.
Seven years the village hero. Two years at the desk of the Hokage. Four years since she left.
Chaos raged. The fox in its cage.
"We have reports of a new series of bombings near the Land of Lightning, close enough to the city to affect crops," Kakashi sensei strolled in, never bothering to knock.
Naruto grimaced and swallowed his anger, he needed to be the hero. "We need to talk to the other Kages. Where is Shikamaru?"
Kakashi Sensei looked annoyed, like he had, re-explaining things years ago, "he's on-site. Remember, the remains of Iylose."
Iylose. Naruto should have remembered that. And while Shikamaru was out wandering the remains of their greatest mistake, Naruto was trapped. He checked the calendar to confirm what he already knew, August twelfth, 1721. Exactly four years. Thinking of sunshine, fish dumplings, and stray cats.
After lapping the forest two times, digging three hundred holes, climbing four thousand trees, and shouting at every bird that passed his direction for answers, Lee had officially decided that North was not the right way to be searching. Of course, it was possible that he had simply not searched North hard enough, in which case he would need to run around the forest four times, dig six hundred holes, climb eight thousand trees, and shout at all the birds and squirrels that passed his direction next time.
But he had to go home. Lee didn't believe in quitting; Guy sensei had taught him that nothing was as unforgivable as quitting. But Lee had promised Naruto he would be back in exactly two weeks and that meant he had two hours to run the few thousand miles back to the Leaf. Not a problem, he was energized with the power of youth, after all. And promises must be kept!
As Lee dashed at the very brink of his physical capacity back to the Leaf, he kept thinking about how worried Naruto was these days. It made sense, after all, Naruto was a loyal and beautiful friend like Lee. So, they would together always be worried and never give up searching. But perhaps Naruto was losing hope. And Lee could not allow that. Never. He could never allow Naruto to lose hope in their mission, in his dreams.
Lee bounded from branch to branch. Sure, Naruto made mistakes, everyone made mistakes. He had made mistakes too...
Yeah, things had been hard. The trade lines were down. Some people had moved away. The village had been broken into a couple of times. Well, maybe three times. No, Lee thought, he should not change numbers to make Naruto feel better. The Leaf had been broken into exactly twenty-seven times. But that was no reason to lose hope!
And sure, buildings might catch fire from time to time. And some of the shops in town had closed. And the cats? What was with all the cats? And nobody had time for a good sparring match anymore. And there was no one to get drinks with on Thursday nights. And. And. And it was all his fault!
Lee burst into tears, horrified how this had all happened while in the prime of their youth!
He would go to Naruto. Make Naruto feel better. Remind him that even though the Leaf was falling apart around them, that was no reason to lose hope! Then he would ask Naruto if he could leave again. Because Lee also refused to give up hope.
Iylose was only recognizable by the position of the mountains on the horizon and steep cliffs of the coast Shikamaru remembered from his last trip. But everything else, the shops, the pillars at the entrance, the schools, the people. Nothing but ash at his feet.
Shikamaru waived to Sai, who had assembled an army of paper birds to test the remains of the town.
"We're in the right place."
"I know," Sai replied, largely un-phased by the work. He had been sent on more than a few of these missions, sifting the remains of small towns blown to oblivion overnight, "they're all like this. Everything is ash after we learn about an explosion."
"I'm going to scout," Shikamaru waived, ignoring the confused expression.
He followed the steps burned into his mind, the Iylose job. For as long as he could remember, relations had been tense - at best - between the small towns and the major nations. A constant balance of power, pawns, stations, and allies that often left the least populated nations a few centuries behind in development.
So, how could it not be a shock? A coastal town, living on fish without enough labor for global trade, less than a hundred people, barely on the map. And some of the most cutting-edge technology found in any nation, much less a town no one had ever heard of.
He dropped into a series of underground paths he had known to once lead to their immense research facility, dodging dislodged walls of concrete and pipes askewed in every direction.
Naruto was sure it was the Toras. And of course, she thought it was the Toras, that damn message. But if it had been the Toras, why did they only just attack Iylose? And if Shikamaru did manage to convince the major nation leaders to care that the smallest towns in the world were being wiped off the map one by one, how was he supposed to explain Iylose, the Toras, any of it?
He lit a lantern and held it to the sight of shattered stone, charcoal char, and broken ash. The greatest research facility he had ever seen turned wreckage. And quite possibly, their last hope.
With a sigh, he studied the ground. His right front pocket weighed heavily, and this had been a waste of time.
Hinata turned a gentle fists attack on her assailant, increasing her at attack four, eight, sixteen, thirty-two palms strong. Between bursts of color from a failed genjustsu, she saw her hands collide with each chakra-point and the consciousness slip from her opponent's eyes.
Byakugan still active, she followed the movements of her teammates. Shino had the rest of their attackers held in a stalemate, while Kiba and Akamaru, ran circles with the youngest refugees. Stashing children in shelters just outside the town.
Without hesitation, Hinata ran to join him, taking a baby thrown into her arms by a sobbing woman in one hand and the chubby grip of a toddler in the other and following the path of her friend. Running was a game of dodging and weaving attacks of molten rock and swarms of bugs, acting the shield when Shino turned on the offense. Smoke filled in her lungs and the ground beneath her feet tilled with the attack of an Earth-user, but Hinata didn't stop running, trusting her teammate with every step.
Kiba's shelters were little more than run-down stables, unlikely to survive a heavy rain, much less the torrent from the attack upstream. Hinata handed over both of her temporary wards to the oldest child in the group, a girl who couldn't be older than ten.
Hinata didn't dwell on the tragedy of the situation; she would help them as soon as she was able. Bring them to the Hyuga compound and raise them herself if she needed to, but there were still people to save. Her swift exit was cut off by a sharp tug on her arm and Kiba's plea, "wait Hinata."
He looked more ragged than usual, and Akamaru's white coat was black with soot. "They're still coming and there's no way Shino can keep holding back the attack on his own."
Hinata nodded, "I'll go to help Shino."
"It's still not enough," Kiba cried, cursing their attackers between words to her, "this is turning into a full-out battle, not just an evacuation effort and there's more coming."
"It's the first time they've sent troops," Hinata agreed, they hadn't been prepared for an attack. "But we have to save the town."
"We need help," Kiba huffed, only then letting go of her arm, "we need Shikamaru on the front lines."
Hinata was pretty sure they needed more than Shikamaru. An army of their own would be nice, "he's in Iylose."
Kiba cursed again, and Hinata was sure she heard him say something about not needing tracking skills to know she wouldn't be there. He waved a hand in the air, "go to Naruto. Naruto can call Shikamaru back and send back-up."
"N-N-Naruto," Hinata stumbled.
Kiba softened at her concern, "he listens to you. Better than anyone else." Akamaru gave a re-assuring bark.
Nodding to that partial truth, Hinata swallowed the ash still caught in her through, squeezed her friend's hand, then ran. Naruto listened, only when he heard. Speaking to Naruto had always been a challenge of sorts, for one reason or another over her life. As of late, it had been as if he couldn't see her at all. Or anyone else who didn't shout demands for his time and leadership. She was as invisible as ever, just for new context.
But to save the kids, the town, her friends, she would be heard.
Despite years of trying to understand, Sai still found the concepts of friends, fidelity, and feelings very confusing. The problem was that nothing fit nicely into a box. In fact, Sai was quite certain that was the only thing he did understand about it all, that it was always complicated.
People could smile while being miserable inside. Or they could feel a whole bunch of things and say they're feeling fine. Or they could change their feelings before you even understood the first feeling the first time. Friends could fight and be happy to fight. They could leave then spend years trying to find each other. They could say that they hate each other but only be unhappy when they're not together.
"There's nothing left in that direction," Shikamaru sighed.
Sai found Shikamaru's feelings extra confusing. He didn't understand why the head of village information had come all the way out to inspect a destroyed town. Or why Shikamaru expected to find anything, none of the other towns had homes, or schools still standing. "I don't know if you are surprised, but this is still what all the towns look like after an attack. The attacks are very consistent, every thirty days there's a bomb from an unknown location, they always target a town with less than a hundred people, and there are never any survivors."
"Troublesome."
This word confused Sai most of all. How could Shikamaru feel the same way about everything, yet act so strange? "Is there something specific you're looking for?" Sai asked, still trying to understand what Shikamaru wanted.
"A note from the people responsible would be nice," he replied.
"A note?"
"Sure," Shikamaru said, "who they are, where we can find them, why they want to burn down the world. I wouldn't mind if they just spelled it all out for us."
Sai had spent a lifetime in the career of information, more than once being the little bird with all the secrets. So, he didn't understand why Shikamaru, a genius, lead of their information division, kept forgetting so many important things. "In your last communication with the Sand, they said that the attackers were from the Tora group, didn't they?"
Shikamaru scowled, "were you able to get anything from the remains?"
"No children. Like the other times," Sai decided to emphasize the point just in case Shikamaru missed it the first time, "the attacks are very consistent. I do not think there is a logical reason for you to come to the sites."
Shikamaru sighed again, looking to the ash above, the ash below, then every which direction at a distance. And when he reached unconsciously to brush his ear, Sai finally realized why Shikamaru had wanted to come. "It's been four years!" Sai announced proudly.
Shikamaru didn't respond, or look at him. He just shoved hands in his pockets, "lots of other jobs right now. Let's get back to the Leaf."
"If I do not succeed this time, I will do a thousand laps around the village on my hands!" Lee resolved, demonstrating his great conviction through hard work and passion.
"Listen Lee," Naruto said, "I don't know if I can send you again. Not for a while at least."
Utterly devastated by this prospect, Lee fell to his knees and wept, "oh please, do not give up on me! I am still in the prime of my youth. And there is nothing I want more than to find the youth and beauty lost from our lives. I will prove my dedication to you! To show that this is serious to me…"
Lee jolted from his diatribe, realizing that he was being shaken by Naruto.
"I know you're serious," Naruto shouted, "but we have so many missions. And, Choji hasn't come back yet. Plus, Shikamaru is scheduled to come back tomorrow. Can you imagine what he would say if we had two jounin missing from the village?"
Now Lee understood Naruto's stress. Nobody left the village without Shikamaru's approval, and Shikamaru rarely approved missions driven by passion alone. Unless it was Choji. Suddenly Lee brightened, "not to worry Naruto, I promise to return from my mission before tomorrow when Shikamaru returns to the village. I will use the power of youth to look into the night and see what cannot be found!"
"Yeah..." Naruto nodded, starting to smile, "and as long as you're back by tomorrow, Shikamaru can't tell you no. Lee, you're a genius!"
Lee felt that his heart was going to explode with Naruto's kind words, "I'll go now!"
"No!" Naruto leapt from his seat, "we'll go, together!"
Lee followed Naruto as he ran across the village, moved by Naruto's passion. "I thought we were going out to search. Naruto, I think you are going the wrong way!"
"You'll never find what you're not looking for!" Naruto shouted back.
What a strange phrase, "but we are looking. Together, Naruto. You're just going the wrong direction."
Naruto did not stop running until they reached the Konoha hospital. Like any Ninja, Lee had more than a few unpleasant memories there, but plenty of great ones as well. A few steps in the door, and he could already hear Lady Tsunade shouting something about room seven.
"Lee get down!" Naruto dragged him behind a desk, "if granny Tsunade finds out what we're doing she'll throw a big old fit and we won't get anything done."
"But I don't know what we are doing either," Lee replied, following as Naruto gestured through back halls, less packed than the lobbies. For years, the hospital had been full of people and Lady Tsunade had been extra angry. With the refugees from smaller towns pouring in, she had demanded that anyone who could help, show up. Lee, ever in debt to her for saving his ninja life, had been the only one to come that day, and she sighed explaining that ninjutsu was a requirement for medicine. Lee had run around the village six thousand two hundred and fifty-five times that day looking for someone else to help out.
Naruto slipped into a room with a silver creaking door, motioning for Lee to follow. Lee looked all the way around, before slipping in behind Naruto. Only to immediately have a glass of water thrown in his direction.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Karin was on her toes, in her torrent, "the hospital is over-capacity already, and you want me to leave? Do you have any idea what Lady Tsunade would say if she found out?"
"But we're trying to get her help!" Naruto cried, dodging a series of things being thrown.
"No. You're chasing a fantasy!"
Lee wanted to help, so he fell to his knees to beg for Naruto, "please Karin. You are full of youth and beauty. Of course, my Sakura is more beautiful. But you are also beautiful, and…"
Lee felt Naruto's hand clasp over his mouth as they both moved to avoid an airborne second glass of water, "what he's trying to say is that we need you. We need the best sensory ninja in the Leaf."
Karin froze for a moment at that, "you think I'm the best?"
Naruto nodded passionately, "absolutely. You are the best. Much better than me. Better than everyone."
"Better than the Hyugas?" Karin stepped closer, this time spinning an actual weapon in hand.
"Much, much better than the Hyugas!" Naruto exclaimed. Lee didn't agree with that and tried to protest, but Naruto had tightened the grip on his mouth. "And don't worry about granny Tsunade. We'll have you back before she even notices you're gone. Right Lee?"
Lee wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to prove his devotion given his current situation, but he nodded as passionately as possible, delighted when he saw Karin starting to agree on her own.
"When are we leaving?" She asked.
"Now," Naruto said, "I just need to grab something from my office."
"But mommy and daddy were there, but then they weren't so we have to go back and find them because what if they're looking for us."
"You cannot go back because your town was burned down. But do not worry, because you have the most precious of all things still left. You still have the prime of your youth!"
At what he felt the most reassuring words possible, the girl burst into tears and ran off, her sister shouting behind, "what is wrong with you?"
Might Guy had always thought of himself as a caring person with a heart full of love and passion, but life was always full of new challenges and this. Well. He wasn't so sure anymore. He had been glad that Naruto needed him. Even off active ninja duty, there were plenty of problems right there in the Leaf. But Guy never seemed to say the right things. And he wasn't sure who to go to about learning the right things to say. His approach to challenges had always been hard work and perseverance. But the newest flux of kids hadn't taken to that guidance nearly as well as his beloved student Rock Lee.
On missions, it had always been TenTen to would step in, coddle the kids, know the right thing to say. Help them get back to the radiance of their youth. Guy had tried sending them to Lady Tsunade once, hoping for a similar reaction. But some combination of her being overworked and the meanest person in the world had the kids crying twice as hard.
"Fair wages, true citizens! Fair wages, true citizens! Fair wages, true citizens!"
Guy leapt into action, fighting through villagers of every shape and size wielding picket signs, garden tools, and dull kitchen knives. Despite the occasional need to dodge, Guy paid them little attention, they were harmless, really. Not like the mind-reader at the center of it all.
It was the third time that week, and Guy found Naito Yamanaka at the head of the chant, just like he always was. That boy had spirit.
"Don't try to stop us!" Naito shouted the moment he found eye contact with Guy, "we will not be silenced this time! The Hokage will hear our voices!"
There was a version of this conversation where Guy pointed out that hundreds of civilians with pitchforks didn't stand a chance against one of the most powerful ninjas of all time. But that had just made Naito angrier when he tried that line of logic, Monday. Guy had also tried pointing out that most of the refugees were too young to work, much less take anyone's jobs. But the dwindling number of village jobs since the civil fallout, made one little girl working in a flower shop look like a catastrophe. Or, at least, that was how the conversation had fallen apart on Wednesday.
This time Guy was going for flattery, "Naito, anyone can see that you are filled with the passion of your youth, and you clearly understand the anger of everyone here! My beloved student happens to be close, personal friends with the Hokage. Therefore, I shall go forth, and tell your complaints to the Hokage myself!"
Naito frowned, lowering his fist, then raising a single eyebrow, "alright." He conceded. But before Guy could properly revel in the victory of his wit, Naito continued, "what are they?"
"What?"
Naito drummed an impatient hand, "you've oppressed our voices three times this week already. Have you actually heard our complaints? What are you planning to tell the Hokage."
Guy couldn't say he cared for mind-readers. Especially not this one. "Well, you want fair wages, obviously!"
Naito crossed his arms, and Guy got the horrible impression that he was looking for more than that. What was it the kid had said on Monday? "You think the refugees are taking too many jobs."
Naito scowled at that; this wasn't going well. What had he said on Wednesday? "The ninjas and the non-ninjas have some work. For. And they…"
After years and years of glorious training, Guy had a keen instinct for what to do in battle. And what he needed to do, just then was run away!
He dashed as quickly as his post-ninja body would allow, right to Naruto's office. He wasn't giving up, perish the thought, he would never give up! But he needed to let Naruto know what was coming so they could stand together!
Naruto had given one final instruction to his shadow clone, before digging through his drawer for the pale pink envelope he always kept at the very top of his desk.
It was a full-proof plan. Nobody would be able to tell the difference. Shikamaru wouldn't even be in the Leaf until tomorrow, and they would be back before morning.
You can't find what you're not looking for.
Naruto breathed in that same smell, sunshine, fish dumplings, and stray cats. He was taking a step out of his cage. Then he heard that same unceremonious door swing, "not now Kakashi Sensei!" He huffed, trying to figure out a way to get Kakashi in on his plan.
"What are you doing?"
Naruto felt his stomach drop at the sound of the voice.
"The seventh Hokage's specialty is shadow clones and this one is wearing a travel bag. It looks like Naruto is going to send his clone on a mission."
Shikamaru sighed, so loudly Naruto didn't need to turn around to know it was over, "that one's not the clone."
Naruto felt his anger bubble, reacting before he had thought it through, "what are you doing?! You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow morning!"
Shikamaru shrugged, "nothing left there. We came back early."
Stemming with frustration from foiled plans, Naruto felt all his patience for Shikamaru's normal indifference slip away. How could he possibly by this calm, "it's Iylose! How could you come back early? How can you just give up like that?"
Nothing was betrayed in that infuriatingly still face, "there are other towns that need to be evacuated."
The door swung again, "I am so sorry about this! I have failed you!" Lee cried on his knees, Karin a half step behind looking cross.
"Naruto!" Lady Tsunade exploded into the room, practically ripping the poor door from its hinges, "how dare you steal one of my top medics right from my hospital!"
"Oh, woah," Naruto defended, shrinking at her fury, "I didn't steal your medic, I was just borrowing her!"
"You insolent child!" The rest of the room took a collective step away, "can't mandate medical training, and you're constantly sending my staff into the field, and now you're just taking them for random missions!"
Naruto was about to respond to that, tell the old grandma that was the point of medics, but even he could not yell as loudly as Guy, who exploded into the room shouting, "prepare for evasive training! One hundred villagers with kitchen knives. Are you ready!"
Another riot? Naruto breathed, already preparing to split his consciousness, for the million clones needed to put down whatever trouble Naito had started this time. He vaguely heard the arguing in his own office, Tsunade and Guy were in a shouting match about managing things. Karin and Shikamaru and complaining about something. Lee was begging for forgiveness. Sai was trying to talk to each in turn.
This was his cage, the obligations that turned to fire if he so much as considered leaving the village. Naruto leaned into his desk, the one with the beautiful view, and breathed heavy air while watching the sun set on his Konoha. Empty buildings, a village of parent-less children, the riots making there way there as they destroyed themselves from the inside out. And in it all, Naruto felt his thoughts drift to the envelope in his bag then another sunset, four years ago. The day she left. The first day Naruto had known the bounds of his own cage.
"You have to trust us Sakura!" He had cried, knowing this was where it was all going to end.
She spun on him with a jab to the chest, the last time she would ever be close enough to touch, "why can't you trust me? Why am I not enough? Why doesn't my voice mean anything Naruto?"
"It's not about trust!" He had waived the papers wildly in the air, "I trust you! I've always trusted you! But the village old guys don't agree. And they're the ones who make all the rules. And if we don't listen…"
Sakura had turned from him, speaking in a quieter voice than she had for weeks, "then they won't elect you the next Hokage."
Naruto refused to accept that accusation, that he had sold out for power. He hadn't! It wasn't that simple, there was so much more to it than that.
"You never cared about the village rules, or elders, or the Hokage's office when you lost Sasuke," she continued, still in that dark, quiet voice, "you can't find what you're not looking for." And then she made for the door.
"Sakura!" Naruto had shouted after, barely able to follow at her heels, begging her to reconsider. Begging, crying, guilting, and threatening when nothing else worked. But he was out of threats and she was out of ultimatums. Ino, TenTen, and Kurenai had joined her path, as unmoved as Sakura by his desperation. And when they crossed the village barrier, officially renouncing their citizenship, Naruto felt the weight of his cage. The binds and obligations that held him from his heart. The setting sun had traced the glint of red in Kurenai's eyes, the trail of kunai down TenTen's leg, the blonde tied behind Ino's head, and the harsh resolve in Sakura's frown. They didn't look back, and he couldn't follow.
Four years.
"Naruto!"
A shrill shout dragged him from his reverie, and Naruto set eyes on the girl who stayed.
"Hinata, I didn't see you there."
She walked forward, bit a lip, then shouted, "I'm-I'm-I'm-sorry-Naruto-butyouhavetolistentome!"
Unused to hearing Hinata speak above a mouse, Naruto nodded, noticing the shocked faces around the room.
Hinata took a deep breath and continued, "our team was attacked! We need help! There are soldiers now, trained soldiers, trying to stop us from getting the children out. And Shino and Kiba are-"
Before she could finish the words of that breath, Naruto watched an array of lights appear in the space between them. Bright colors, without explanation of reason, he extended a hand, trying to understand, looking to where Shikamaru stared just as puzzled, before finally losing the frustratingly cool demeanor. "Don't tou-" he shouted.
And the world exploded. Vibrant in colors, roaring like fire, spinning violently. Naruto felt the dissolution of his clone, like an attack to the senses, as if his skin were on fire and mind exploding. In a final moment of coherence, he found his beautiful office view, the perfect place to watch the world end. Konoha, crumbling to ash and embers, cries in every direction, and a sad quiet voice. You can't find what you're not looking for.
A/N: Hi! My last fic was a much longer story and I was brainstorming something... easier? Less ambitious? And I landed on this, a semi-quick, 13 chapter piece I could pre-draft then post... Then I started writing it, and it turned into this multi-POV, multiple timelines, converging plotline, vent-y spew of chaos. And I can't decide how attached I am to it. So, I'm posting the first chapter to see if anyone else is attached. A few points of personal concern. 1) I'm pretty confident that with this many POVs, characters are inevitably going to be OOC. 2) I worry it's kind of confusing. I find it confusing, and I have the grand master plan. The extremely complicated, multi-POV, multi-timeline, grand master plan. 3) It's not as ship-y as my last fic, so I don't know if it's still interesting to anyone? It has ships, but less. Let me know if anyone reads this and wants more, but I'm also not married to it. Happy to keep brainstorming.
