Notes:
I have once again humbly borrowed some dialogues from Mrs. Gaskell's text. They have been mentioned towards the end of the chapter in italics. Thank you so much for reading, this fic is at its end.
...
The Easter Vigil service was about to start in the next fifteen minutes.
The St. Theodore Church of Milton looked the most radiant it had ever been. People were already appreciating the decorations while some thought it was quite different compared to the decorations of the past. The church was adorned with yellow and pink roses, and also pine cones. Word started to quickly spread of Miss Hale's efforts under the guidance of Mrs. Brown. Several women disapproved that a Milton-bred woman like themselves was not chosen but the haughty southern lass.
The prominent families of Milton and the commoners were slowly assembling in the church. The church itself looked the most radiant it had ever been. The women were dressed as fitting to the season of spring and Easter fashion. Women flocked around showing off their new gowns and Easter bonnets. They ridiculously fanned themselves while peering at everyone to see if any man caught their attention. On the other hand, the men waited for the Easter vigil to start.
"Did you know John and mamma, that it's considered good luck to wear new clothes on Easter day?" Fanny Watson asked, smoothing her new silk dress.
"Aye, that's what your modiste must have told you to sell their wares." John shot back much to Fanny's annoyance.
The Thorntons took their seat in their pew. Fanny sat with her husband on the opposite row. She was busy showing off her attire to her lady friends. Mr. Thornton realized that Fanny was most probably speaking of him to her empty-headed friends, for they gawked at him and smiled coquettishly. He scowled in return and the women all at once started gawking somewhere else.
Mr. Thornton felt giddy and anxious. His heart beat loudly. He received his greatest shock as well as relief yesterday, a hearty thanks to Higgins. To him, now, all his envy and anger came crashing down as utterly useless and meaningless. Though he believed Miss Hale would always be virtuous, his mind yearned for an answer to soothe his heartbreak. It wouldn't matter if she doesn't accept him as her lover and husband still, for painful that obviously might be, yet it was still better than thinking that the man at Outwood was her intended. Some further talk with Higgins made him aware of that man Leonards squabble with the Hale brother and sister. How could I have left her alone at such a dark hour? He admonished himself. And if it wasn't enough, he had blatantly lied to her that his feelings for her ceased. He wanted to apologize to her for his harsh words and seek her forgiveness.
Now as he sat in the seat, his eyes darted to the entrance every two minutes. Mrs. Thornton was puzzled at his behavior. But she looked around and saw that woman's absence, exactly why her son was behaving so odd. She cleared her throat as a hint for him to stop his antics lest he garnered unwanted foolish attention from the rest of the parish members.
Mr. Hale arrived with Mr. Bell. They greeted him and he excused his mother and went to converse with them.
"Mr. Hale. Mr. Bell. Happy Easter."
"Ah, Thornton, happy Easter. You look quite lost. Looking for someone, eh?"
"No." John sneered. He was often fed up with Mr. Bell's unwanted taunts. Worse, the man knew very well that he was indeed waiting for his divine lady love to enter the church.
"Oh, I see." Mr. Bell said with a slight grin.
"Come, Bell. Don't tease John. The liturgy is about to start."
…
Everyone took their seats and just then, the choir group entered the church. All eyes were on them and most significantly on Miss Hale who led the choir.
Mr. Thornton felt his heart going still for a moment. His jaw dropped. And so did of several people's in the congregation. A few were hardly able to show their disapproving gazes, so naturally beautiful that she looked.
She looked marvelous in her gown; an attire that looked like one that was solely crafted for her. It was half-white, off her shoulders just the right measure, revealing her tantalizing alabaster skin. Her gown was enthused with myriad tiny pink roses, making her look dashingly beautiful. It was yet plain and modest but for him, it was her beauty that enriched the dress she wore. She carried herself nothing less like a queen and bore her composure with grace.
The choristers took their places near the choir stand and within minutes, the pastor started the service. Mr. Thornton's concentration remained on the object of his desires and love as he found it tough to utter the correct responses.
In some time, the choristers readied themselves to sing. But it was one distinct voice that had its charms and successfully managed to have its ravishing effect on all like a lullaby. Miss Hale sang first and the rest sang in chorus-
There is a green hill far away,
Without a city wall,
Where the dear Lord was crucified
Who died to save us all.
Her words reminded Mr. Thornton of the very exact hill the church and graveyard were situated. Her tempting voice was being heard by him for the first time and it allured him just as the very sight of hers did. It felt not like a hymn but a song written by her for herself about the only place in Milton she valued above all else- the hillside.
And she continued-
We may not know, we cannot tell,
What pains he had to bear,
But we believe it was for us
He hung and suffered there.
He died that we might be forgiven,
He died to make us good;
That we might go at last to heaven,
Saved by his precious Blood.
There was no other good enough
To pay the price of sin;
He only could unlock the gate
Of heaven, and let us in.
O dearly, dearly has he loved,
And we must love him too,
And trust in his redeeming Blood,
And try his works to do.
…
Mrs. Brown was extremely happy and championed Margaret more than anybody else. After the liturgy, everyone praised her but she in turn gave the credit to Margaret. She was flustered by the attention but graciously received everybody's appreciation as well as firmly handled the judgmental looks of the rest.
Easter greetings were offered and received by several. The parishioners flocked outside the church. A few received blessings from the pastor. Overall, it was a happy occasion.
The Latimers came towards the Thorntons and Watsons and greeted them. Mrs. Thornton tried to pull her son into the conversation but in vain. It came as a shock to them when he informed them that he wouldn't be attending their house that day as he had work in his mill, which was obviously a lie. His work could definitely wait for an hour or so, but his tolerance wouldn't. He excused himself. Miss Latimer pouted irritatingly. Mr. Thornton managed to stay hospitable for the sake of manners but when it started to be stifling, he decided to excuse himself. He went in search of Miss Hale.
She was surrounded by people who seemed to be appreciating her. The party also included a few men he disliked such as Mr. Slickson and Mr. Martin. Their coquettish looks on his damsel irked him and all he wanted to do at that moment was to push them aside and pull her towards him and talk in privacy.
But that would wait.
…
Margaret saw Mr. Thornton standing in a distance. He looked as if he was waiting to converse with her. His looks from afar managed to make her blush. After a few moments, she excused herself and started walking towards her father, but apparently towards him.
"Miss Hale." He greeted.
"Mr. Thornton. Happy Easter."
She demurely lifted her hand waiting to meet his. There seemed to be some anxiety in her eyes as against the confidence she had during the annual dinner party.
He shook her hands with his. He left not only after a few seconds but not without holding her hand tight and brushing her fingers with his. She looked up at him right in his eyes and he smiled.
Margaret hardly bothered with the way men dressed but all that she did ever she entered the church was stealing glances at him. He looked so divinely handsome and dominating even amidst the hundreds who had gathered in the church. The very thought made her feel shy as she felt that he somehow could pry into her mind and peer at her thoughts himself.
"Happy Easter, Marg– Miss Hale. You sang beautifully."
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Thornton. I am glad to Mrs. Brown for the opportunity. I never considered my voice to suit for singing, but she encouraged me to try, you see."
"And she was brilliant in her judgment. No, your voice was.." what could he say? The first word that came to his mind was seductive but he knew he couldn't say that. Perhaps ravishing? No.
"… euphonious, like a melody." He completed in a voice nothing less of a whisper, meant for her only.
She blushed at his words and thanked him again. Later, she joined her father and godfather. The Thornton mother and Watsons went to the Latimers' home. Mr. Thornton walked home alone, thinking about how to have a private conversation with Miss Hale. He had a few gifts to offer the Hales as Easter gifts, so he thought to go home, freshen up, and return to Crampton.
…
At Crampton, the Hales and Mr. Bell had a modest yet sumptuous feast that was prepared by Mary and Dixon with a good deal of help from Margaret. Margaret had invited Mr. Bell so that her father and he could be of company to each other on the holy day and not alone.
Mr. Bell gifted Margaret a box of her favorite sweets and a jewel box. She gave him an Easter greeting and a papier-mache Easter egg that she had made by herself. She then arranged her baskets- one for Higginses, one for the Browns, and one for the Thorntons.
Mary was extremely grateful to Margaret for the basket which had more than enough delicacies for them and the Boucher children, and a few gifts for the young kids. She embraced her and went home happily. Margaret asked Mr. Bell to accompany her to the Thorntons but he persuaded her to go alone, not without purpose.
So off went Margaret with her hat and baskets in hand. After delivering one to the Browns and staying there for a while, she headed towards Marlborough Mills. She was nervous about seeing Mrs. Thornton but she was brave enough to handle any conversation. Wasn't she going to just deliver the basket, wish them a happy Easter and return back home? Or if by any chance, if she got an opportunity to talk to Mr. Thornton only, she would tell him the truth that was bugging her for several months.
…
Mr. Thornton quickly freshened up and took out the package of gifts he had bought. He had already given Tom Boucher his gift yesterday- a few books of stories and papers for him to practice writing. He also promised that he would help him learn to read whenever he was free from mill work.
He had two packages in hand now- one for Mr. Hale, a vintage, rare edition of Plato. He knew that the copy his tutor had was quite old and this could be the best gift he could give him for all the knowledge and company he bestowed upon the hardened mill master that he was. The second package was for Miss Hale- leather-bound editions of Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice. He knew that women who read were looked down upon by society but he never believed in it. It was also one of the things he loved about Miss Hale. As much as his heart ached to write a note inside the books as - With love, from Yours forever, John, he resigned to be on the safer side and simply wrote- With best wishes, Mr. Thornton.
Just then, the valet knocked on his study.
"Miss Hale has come, Sir. Shall I let her in or tell her that Mrs. Thornton isn't present at the moment?"
Mr. Thornton gasped. She was here! What could be a more favorable moment if nothing but the absence of his mother and sister in the house? He thought it better to prowl on the chance.
"Let her in the drawing-room, James. I shall see her."
The valet went to do his duty while the master rushed with the gifts to the drawing-room. He tried to remain calm and not let his face give in to his emotions and tension.
She entered with a regal air, holding a basket in hand. On seeing him and not Mrs. Thornton, she was surprised.
"Miss Hale, mother is not at home, she has gone to the Latimers."
"Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Thornton. I shall delay you no longer. I just came to give you an Easter basket that I and Dixon prepared. I wish you a happy Easter once again. Do convey my wishes to Mrs. Thornton too. I bid you good day."
She turned to leave the house immediately but he stopped her.
"No, please stay. I mean, I am not going. I declined the invitation as I said I have some mill work to catch up on at the moment."
Margaret was frustrated. To stand in his presence, more so alone, was bewildering. He seemed to have a unique hold on her, but little did she know that she had the same effect on him as well.
"Since you have work–"
"That was just an excuse to stay at home in peace instead of being used as a ploy in their match-making plans."
His words confused and relieved Margaret a great deal. So were the talks a lie? Was there no attachment from his side? She was under the impression that the two family friends would become further joined in matrimony.
"Either way, I must go. I had just come to give the basket."
Mr. Thornton sighed. He thought it best to get his words out lest she runs out of the drawing-room.
"There is something I need to talk about with you, Miss Hale. Something I need to desperately apologize for."
"Apologize? I don't see why and what you need to be sorry for."
"I do, Miss Hale. For lashing out on you the last time we met in your home…"
"If that's the cause, then I assure you that there's no apology required. You were right in admonishing, I can very well understand that I deserved it. It's not that I never hurt you before, so allow me to apologize to you."
"No! You weren't wrong in any way. You could never do any wrong."
"And what makes you say so? Haven't you decided already that I am unfit for the truth?"
Mr. Thornton saw her ire rising. And truth be told, this is exactly how he wished her to be. He was guilty to see her being timid in his presence instead of the old passionate self.
"As I said, I apologize for that too. And also, for terribly distrusting your appearance at Outwood."
Margaret was stunned.
"Higgins told me the truth. I couldn't have fathomed in a hundred days that the man was our own brother, Miss Hale. Don't be angry with Higgins since it was I who forced him to spill the beans."
"I understand."
She simply uttered these two words and couldn't speak anymore. She felt her anger rising as she bit her tongue to not lash out at him for believing how she appeared just like the gossip-mongers of Milton. She was extremely content and relieved yet sad.
"You need not hold your anger. I know I behaved the worst to you. I rebuked you, I avoided you, and you bore them with patience. I knew you could never be unmaidenly."
"You knew?" Margaret questioned him starkly.
"Aye, I did. I always knew that you must have been in some gruesome trouble to go to that extent. Only if I let my heart for once to perceive it in another way, but I couldn't. I was ridden with jealousy and envy."
Her voice had cleared itself and become more steady.
"And why is that so? Where does your need to be jealous arise from? You clearly pointed out that your feelings became extinct."
"I lied! Surely, you must know that?"
"Oh, but I didn't. You rather obviously gave the impression that you have moved on with Miss Lat–, well, whoever it must be. I am not blaming you, Mr. Thornton. I understand your feelings very well. I have hurt you, you believed the falsehood, and you were led to change your feelings…" She spoke calmly without any feelings of hurt.
"No! My love for you is not so unsteady as to change its direction in such a fickle manner. Rebuke me all you want, for I know I deserve it. But don't question my love! I never once reduced my passion for you even when I told you that I did. And truth be told, Miss Latimer was being constantly thrust upon me by her as well as my family to form an attachment. I behaved with social decency and manners in mind, not with an urge to move on."
He finished speaking and was breathing profusely, while Margaret stood breathless. She couldn't fathom the turn of the events that day. She was told the exact words she yearned for all these months, she had thought it impossible to hear them ever again from him. And yet, she couldn't help but stay still as stone.
His voice was hoarse, and trembling with tender passion, as he said:
"I had said this already to you, but you were not ready to listen to me that time, so I shall confess it again: You were the only woman in my life for whom I felt love, the kind of love a man feels for a woman if I dare to say so. Nay, I am not ashamed to speak my mind since it's the only truth I stand by. I never indulged myself in sensual and indulgent whims, I hardly felt the need of it, what with myself being busy in my mill all day and night for the past countless years. But for the first time, such passions ever arose in me, which told me that I am after all a man too, was when I first met you, your little face ridden with fear and courage at the same time when you, unfortunately, saw my violence on Stephens. I was, I am, and I will be in love with you, always. You need not accept it if you think me unsuitable to be your partner, if you cannot love me, and that's fine, Miss Hale. But just understand it. That's all I ask."
For an instant she looked up; and then sought to veil her luminous eyes by dropping her forehead on her hands. Still lower went the head; more closely hidden was the face, almost resting on the table before her. He came close to her. He knelt by her side, to bring his face to a level with her ear; and whispered—panted out the words:—
"Take care.—If you do not speak—I shall claim you as my own in some strange presumptuous way. Margaret!"
She turned her face, still covered with her small white hands, towards him, and laid it on his shoulder, even hiding it there; and it was too delicious to feel her soft cheek against his, for him to wish to see either deep blushes or loving eyes. He clasped her close. But they both kept silence. At length she murmured in a broken voice:
"Oh, Mr. Thornton, I am not good enough!"
"Not good enough! Don't mock my own deep feeling of unworthiness."
"I love you too, Mr. Thorn— John." She whispered.
His heart felt the happiest it had ever been. He still thought it was all a fantasy, so dreamlike. But they were embracing each other, they confessed their love for each other, and at that moment and forever and ever, that's all that mattered.
Notes:
The hymn- "There is a green hill far away, Without a city wall" was a children's hymn written by Cecil Frances Alexander, an Anglo-Irish hymnwriter. She was an active member of the Oxford movement and in church. The Victorian hymns and most of them we have even today were contributed by women. Thus, women deserve a great deal of credit for their hymns. The reason why I chose this hymn was exactly as stated in the story- as it reminded me the hillside of Milton town.
