Quick word of warning. This chapter was written under the influence of sugarless Coke, at night, and the author has been beating around the bush trying to find a 'satisfactory conclusion', even though it is subpar. Characters will be even more Ooc than usual. It was also hard to find a song that fits overall the theme of this chapter. Thank you for understanding, and please don't let this discourage you from reading the story to see how things will end.
Hontoni Arigatogozaimasu!
The brain.
What a fickle thing, especially the brain of a human being.
Like the world itself, although on a more distinguishable level, since unlike the world, the planet we live on, the brain is separated in two hemispheres, left and right.
Skipping parts like the frontal cortex, it has been said, and proved by science that each hemisphere of the brain is the 'motor' of sorts of two important things in the human behaviour.
Instincts, and reason.
Instincts can be replaced by intuition if you will, and is governed by the right hemisphere, like the emotions, creativity, and artistic senses, among other things we are capable of doing.
Reason, logic, analysis, all of that stuff is governed by the left hemisphere.
According to what has been said many times by people way smarter than I am, it is quite difficult to mix both logic and intuition at the same time. To quote the ending of an article published on the internet in 2009 I remember:
"Intuition is a sacred gift, and logic is a loyal servant."
French mathematician, theoretical physicist, engineer, and philosopher of science Henri Poincaré himself said, a century ago, that 'There are many kinds of intuition. I have said how much the intuition of pure number, whence comes rigorous mathematical induction, differs from sensible intuition to which the imagination, properly so called, is the principal contributor.'
Now from another, although perhaps less reliable source:
'Intuitive, rapid and unconscious thought, as opposed to rational, more conscious and slower thought, is also considered to be a factor of errors in reasoning: either by selective anchoring on initial information; or by insufficient adjustment and confirmation bias in the selective choice of arguments for with repression of arguments against. '
Said source? The internet.
So while it isn't impossible per say to combine intuition with logic, it takes a good amount of practice, otherwise, one side of the brain will undoubtedly contradict what the other side is telling you, whether you have concrete evidences or not.
Why am I explaining that, going on that sort of tangent, you may ask?
Oh well, for the simple reason that my lovely girlfriend Hiratsuka Shizuka was a bit mad at the fact that she thought, assumed just from one picture, that I had cheated on her with Komachi of all people!
And if it hadn't been for the fact that I managed to calm her down by telling her exactly what had happened last night, I still ended up on the receiving end of a downward punch on the top of my skull.
But she forgave me nonetheless, because after all, like she herself said so 'I do love you, idiot.'
I do love her, I once again reassured her that she will be my first. She reassured me by saying that our special bond won't be in danger, that she is happy she'll be my first, and even apologized for the hit and getting angry before even hearing me out.
Yeah, no doubt she loves me and stuff, but I don't want to enter an abusive relationship!
If that's the only kind of love she is able of showing me and showering me with, then I guess I'll go back to being a reclusive hermit, or hell, go into a monastery and end up as a monk for the rest of my life!
And why does she has so much strength, for fuck's sake? It hurts!
...
What?
Oh, you do want to know what happened with Komachi, right?
Well, I think the entire mystery can be solved with one word:
Foreplay.
...
That's it, really. Wait, you were expecting much? Something kinky perhaps, you twisted fucks? No.
At least not yet...
But that's right, foreplay is all it ended up being. Komachi and I 'discovered' each other's body, teased each other and made each other experiencing our first orgasm together without the need of an 'introduction', per say.
A few kisses on some key spots, some light or heavier touches of flesh with hands and fingers, a lick of the tongue or two, rinse and repeat until your partner convulses while muffling your name and here you go!
That's all folks! Hope your curiosity is now satiated. If you want more details, than wait for a later time in my new life, or if you can't stand the pressure until then, I am sure some 'arts' on the internet can help you relieve that tension on your own. C'mon, I know for a fact that 'creative people' like to share their creations, and put it at the disposal of others. Don't dare think I am that much of an oblivious fool...
Lunch break is almost over by now, I have a splitting headache, an empty stomach, and haven't seen even the shadow of Yui, or anyone of my classmates I can inform that I am going to the infirmary to get my 'injury' treated.
Oh well, since barely anyone ever pays attention to me, they won't even notice that I'm missing class. Heh, why was I almost worrying myself over?
I barely remember when was the last time I came in the infirmary. Have I ever did? I sure did in my past life, when I was in junior high! If that had been a class, I probably would've been first, and best student!
Unfortunately, this is not the same past, the same body, the same environment. And so I try to navigate through the corridors and hallways with that broken compass in my head they call 'sense of direction'.
As I am now, 'sense of misdirection' would be a more fitting description! Saori! Help me please! My mean girlfriend just bullied me because she can't handle her quick temper!
I don't know why, but I have a feeling that it's because of a hit on the head that Roronoa Zoro became so bad with his own sense of direction and always end up lost.
SO IT WAS THE FAULT OF A WOMAN, ALL ALONG!
Aaaaah, how I would love to be treated and healed by the lovely Saori Yuigahama...
Just thinking about it, I can pretty much picture the scene in my mind...
Heh heh heh...
...
We're not going there, or at least I am, and I won't share with you.
Serves you right, perverts!
Ah, finally, a door with a matching word above it.
Hmm, what's this? There's a paper attached to it with a piece of duct tape.
"Nurse is gone for the day because yada yada yada..."
Just when I thought my luck couldn't get any worse, and my day couldn't get any better...
Hmm...
I grab the knob of the door and twist it slowly, before hearing a satisfying click.
So even though the nurse is gone for the day, she's such an airhead that she forgot or didn't bothered to care about locking the door behind. Well, it works in my favor. There is always some small measure of luck in a world of misery.
Entering the infirmary and closing the door shut behind me, I notice that it's very... plain looking!
It's the same kind of vibe and decoration you'd find in your favorite visual novel, slice-of-life high school manga or anime. A desk, a shelf with some medicines inside, a few cabinets, some beds to lie down and curtains around said beds. Really nothing fancy for a high school of prestige such as Sobu. I would almost be shocked if I still had my brain functionning at full capacity.
Meh, never judge a book by its cover after all, right?
Alright, let me check. Painkillers, painkillers... Where art thou?
I first search in the shelf with translucid small windows above the cabinets, and pick up a bottle and a box which can both fulfill my current needs. Wondering if I should attempt to find more, I crouch and open the cabinets but without much success.
Raising myself slowly, avoiding to do abrupt movements unless I want to feel the pain coming back ten times harder now that it has started to be dull and tolerable, I check the notice folded inside of the box, and compare it to the instructions written on the side of the bottle.
Ok, so unless Shizuka destroyed the part of my brain that helps reading things correctly, pills in the box = good, stuff in the bottle = bad. Noted.
I spot a tap and some plastic cups, pulling out a pill from the wrappings of the blister, and swallow it while drinking the water.
Next step would probably be to set up an alarm on my phone, for when school is about to end, and lie down.
As soon as I complete those steps, I close my eyes, and shut my mind, hoping that some well deserved sleep will take me to the land of dreams. When I'll wake up, hopefully, I'll be as good as new, and everything will be as if it never even occured. Aside from the fact that I will have been missing from class the entire afternoon, but I can handle this.
I don't know how long it has been, but I still can't fall asleep. It's almost as if something or someone was preventing me from doing so the whole time.
As I was about to look at the time on my phone, I hear a noise coming from the door.
Hold on. The nurse is gone for the entire day, I'm alone here, and someone is prying the door open as carefully as a burglar checking a house. Hmph, there is no burglar in the school, so it might be another student who's in need, and hesitating about coming in or not. Make up your damn mind, I'm trying to sleep here!
No sooner that I said those words in my head, the door opens, and shuts itself almost immediately after some steps. So the person came in? Good. Now let me have some rest. You leave me alone, I won't rat you out. You're the one skipping class, not me!
The steps come closer to the bed I'm lying in, probably because whoever came in might've thought the infirmary was empty due to the nurse gone, but I guess even with the curtains pulled, my silhouette can still be perceived.
Looks like the so-called 'Stealth Hikki' is broken, or never worked to begin with.
A slender, feminine hand grabs the curtain, move it back and I am met with a person I really didn't wanted to deal with today.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
"Damian-seeenpaiiii~. What are you doing here? Are you skipping class by any chance?"
"Yo Isshiki."
Whatever Iroha Isshiki is doing here, she surely wasn't searching for me, meaning she has a reason of her own to be there.
"I am not skipping, as you can see I was trying to rest. If there's someone skipping in this infirmary, it would have a higher chance of it being you. Didn't you saw the paper on the door?"
Iroha pouts at me, and give me a light glare. I doubt I figured her out that easily. It would be way to simple. The real answer has to be something else.
"Mouuuu Senpai~! I'm not skipping, I am here because my stomach hurts. And I saw the paper, but like you, I came in because whether the nurse is in or not, I need to do something to make it stop."
I couldn't resist at this very moment, and so I did the only sensible thing someone would do in my place.
I stared at her with the stupidest deadpan imaginable, mouth slightly ajar in shock.
"Oh, I see. So let me get this straight. You have some stomach ache, you saw that the nurse wasn't in, you entered nonetheless, and now, you can't figure out what to do, which medicine to take so you're either going to pester me to find the miraculous cure for you, you are going to bother me by asking which one you should take and why, OR you are going to wait until someone competent dares to come in here, which might takes the entire day. Is that it?"
Iroha's cheeks soon turned out flushed, bright pink, meaning that I indeed hit bullseye.
"Seenpaaaaaiii! You shouldn't be mocking me or make assumptions like that! If anything you shou-"
"Blunt and insensitive question. Did you have your first period yet?"
"Huh?"
Very helpful answer...
"I'm asking you if you have, in the ancient or recent past, ever experienced your period or not. If not, that could be the cause of the 'stomach ache'. Except it's worse than an actual stomach ache, and lasts longer. Normal medication won't work against it."
I can see Iroha's expression turning serious suddenly, as if processing the informations I just gave her and compare them to what she had been through her life so far. Sweet memories of abdominal pain...
"I don't think I did. But how would you know about that Senpai? Are you a pervert? Ugh, gross!"
"Hey, watch your tone freshman, I have a little sister! And in case you forgot, I have lived almost twice your lifetime. So of course I would have some basic knowledge about human anatomy."
The sudden change in my voice turning deeper reminds Iroha for a brief moment that she isn't talking to the average, run of the mill Senpai everyone know as Hikigaya 'Hachiman', but rather Damian.
Iroha comes closer, and sits on the edge of my bed, like a child would do after being scolded by its parents.
"I know you were teasing me. My words may have come out harsh, but I'm telling you the truth, and I'm trying to help you figure out what's wrong. While I do have some knowledge about the human body, I can't however tell you which medicine to take or not. If I had lived my past life as a woman, I would be able to indicate what might works for you, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case."
Iroha keeps staring at me, and silently nods her head.
"Ne, Senpai-"
"Damian."
"Ne, Damian-senpai-"
"Call me 'Senpai' once more, and it won't be your period that will kill you..."
"Mouuuu~..."
The two of us stare at each other, none of us willing to back down. At least until Iroha probably forced herself too much and winced.
"Aouch!"
"That's what you get for getting angry. You're making the pain worse. Try to relax yourself, minimize as much as possible the efforts you make, and lie down on a bed already."
Iroha keep staring at me with a weak glare, but she understands deep down that I really am trying to help her. Wordlessly, she averts her eyes and lies down...
Next to me!
"Hey, what the fuck you think-"
"Shhh Senpai. If you speak that loudly, people will ask themselves questions. It will draw attention to us, and when discovered, everyone will wonder what you are doing in bed with a freshman while the nurse is away."
The nerve of that brat, honestly!
"First Iroha, if someone comes in here, they might be able to help you eventually. Second, I was in this bed first, so if anything, people will wonder what a freshman is doing in my bed while the nurse is away as I'm trying to rest. And third, I think even the dumbest, densest, or most well composed person on Earth would have the same kind of reaction with what you just did. So I am perfectly allowed to shout."
Iroha stares at me, her cute face frowning slightly mere inches away from mine, those amber orbs staring intensely right into my eyes, unwavering.
"Well, you should've told me to lie down on another bed than the one you were already in then, Damian-senpai~."
I keep the glare with narrowed eyes I'm throwing at her, but am too lazy to think back for something to say. No matter what I could come up with, she simply would brush it aside, or twist my words against myself, and it would be never ending.
"Whatever, just let me rest, okay? I really need it."
I hear her giving me her most silent version of 'Okay', which is actually 'Mhm', and for a few minutes, everything is calm and peaceful.
"Say Damian-senpai, I told you why I'm here, but you didn't tell me why you're here. What happened for you to be missing class?"
Of course, some things aren't meant to remain in life, especially peace and tranquility...
"I went to talk with Hiratsuka-san during lunch break, and after a stupid misunderstanding, she 'bonked' me a bit harder than usual on top of my head. She apologized and all, but the harm was done already. I came here, saw the paper, but between dealing with the pain all day long or choosing to cure my ailment myself even if it means breaking a few rules, consequences be damned! I already died once, I don't want to neglect my health anymore..."
Why lying when telling the truth will be known sooner or later, and is a more favorable option?
Of course, emitting a few details here and there are a good guarantee that your secrets won't be spilled, and cause further troubles down the line!
For once, the sly fox next to me doesn't have anything to retort. I wonder what she is thinking of it. Me dying, talking about it in such a casual and laidback manner, making a choice many wouldn't make due to the repercussions...
For once, I would like to know what is going inside that pretty head of hers.
"So... Was it a lover's quarrel?"
And I immediately betray myself by sitting on the bed with my eyes wide open. Great job, body!
"Where the fuck did that come from? That's the only result you came up with when my homeroom teacher physically abuses me? A person a decade older than I am, a teacher nonetheless?"
Now Iroha looks at me with a curious look in her eyes.
"But you didn't deny it."
"Well I am denying it! I mean, not that she isn't sweet, kind and beautiful among other things, but a relationship between an adult teacher and a teenage student? That would make her lose her job, and possibly sending her straight to jail. Not only that, but with me? Me, out of all the possible better guys she can get? Ha! Hahahahahaha!"
I laugh as I calm myself down and take a more self-depreciating tone.
"You're thinking too highly of a low-level worm such as myself, Isshiki. The sheer possibility that I one day, find someone that will appreciate me, like me, love me for who I am is as low as the roots of a tree compared to the ground. Besides, I'm in no hurry. This time around, I have all my life ahead of me to keep making mistakes, taking stupid decisions and fully allow myself to wallow in self-pity until I am old, bald, and not able to stand up by myself anymore, confined to a wheelchair and a life of solitude in a retirement house, or a dilapidated cheap apartment..."
Silence greets my ears again, and this time, it lasts longer that previously. An hour longer, give or take a few minutes to be precise.
I don't know why, but this kind of silence, unlike the previous one though it was short-lived, makes me more upset for some reason. It feels forced.
"Isshiki?"
"Mmh?"
"You feeling better?"
"Hnm."
...
What now? Don't tell me she is upset by what I said!
I turn my head to look at her.
...
Has she been glaring at me silently for over the past hour?
Because of what I said?
"Isshiki..."
"Mmh?"
"You're glaring at me."
"Mhm."
"You've been giving me the silent treatment."
"Mhm."
"You've been doing that non-stop ever since I spoke my mind out, haven't you? And you waited for me to feel so uncomfortable with that forced silence so I would face you again, and found out that's what you've been doing all along?"
"Mhm."
. . .
"Iroha Isshiki."
"Mh?"
"You're a dumbass."
A look of anger, mixed with confusion and shock, crosses her features, contorting them in a scowl.
"What did you just called me, Senpai?"
Yep, she is outright furious!
"You have been lying in the same bed as me, next to me, in silence, glaring at me for an entire hour over something I have said, rather than finding by yourself the cure to your problem, which might no doubt have been in the shelf or those cabinets. You don't need to know me very well to be sure that with the circumstances I've been living with, prior and after my death, I know what I'm talking about and that if I say it, it's because it's most likely the truth. And yet, you have such a problem with accepting those facts that the only thing you do is the most illogical you can do... So yeah, you're a dumbass."
Her eyes widen as her mouth opens and closes, like a fish out of the water, not knowing what to say. She wants to talk back, to tell me something, anything, to express her anger, her confusion, to deny my claims perhaps, and yet, no matter how much she tries, nothing, no sound comes out.
Hmm, I wonder...
This situation is leading us nowhere. However, if I do this...
"See? That is what would be a lover's quarrel, if we were an item you and I." I say coolly, before going back to stare at the ceiling.
"Huh?"
"You asked me before if the hit I received on the head was the result of a 'lover's quarrel'. I told you no, due to the simple fact that I am in no such relationship with my homeroom teacher. However, if I were to be in a couple with anyone, let's say you for example, that is what a lover's quarrel would look like. And depending on the severity of the quarrel, how long we've been together and other details, you would more or less be justified at being angry to the point where you would hit me."
At this point, I am basically making fun of her while defending myself against the accusation she threw at me earlier. Not only that, but it may help defuse the awkward situation between us. If all works as intended, it's killing three birds with one stone.
Not too shabby if I dare say so myself...
"Hmm. You are actually right on this, Senpai. If we were an item, let's say for a year or maybe longer, and I found out that you were secretly on a date with another woman, I would have the right to hit you and making you feel pain."
Oi, I don't like the calmness with which you express your evil intentions woman! Be careful with your words, or else it will cost you.
"Then again, I would have no need to go on a date with another woman, especially in secret, if I was already your boyfriend. Unless we were in a loveless, forced relationship. In that case, my reason would be perfectly justified. If you were the one doing the same to me, not only am I used to it, but you would have a better chance at finding something real rather than a cheap imitation you'd end up the prisoner of."
I can feel her confused gaze on me, so I decide to elaborate, even though I feel as she already understand where I'm coming.
"Let's put things into perspective okay?"
"Mhm, okay."
I raise both my hands in the air, and ball them into fists.
"On my left, you have Guy A. And on my right, Guy B. Easy enough so far, right?"
"Mhm."
"Well. Guy A is popular, a nice guy, many want to be his friend, girls like him because of reasons, like he comes from a wealthy family, is good looking, the accurate depiction of the charming prince if you prefer. But like everyone else, Guy A hides a secret. Guy A hates Guy B because Guy B has something he wishes to have, but knows he never will, no matter how hard he tries."
"What is it that Guy B has then Senpai?"
I turn my head to look at Isshiki, and stare intently in her eyes without lowering my fists.
"That's what you need to find out. So, what do you think it is, Isshiki?"
Iroha Isshiki is perplexed. She looks back and forth, from my left to my right hand, with an expression of pure concentration on her rather admittedly cute face.
I turn back to look at the ceiling, and move ever so slightly my fists.
"What does Guy B have that Guy A would be jealous over? What is it that no matter how well liked he is, how wealthy, how good looking he is, Guy A will always resent Guy B for? Any idea?"
After a few minutes of silent, or near silent groaning from Iroha trying to find the solution to my riddle, she gasps in realization.
"Guy A has an incurable disease!"
...Or at least it sounded like a realization...
"Well, it was worth a try." I reply nonchantly, shrugging my shoulders as I cross my arms over my chest, closing my eyes.
I can't help but being slightly disappointed she hasn't figured it out. Or maybe she did, but is playing dumb.
"You seriously haven't figured it out, did you?"
"Nuh-uh Senpai! It was way too hard!"
Isshiki, please! Sentence, words, context!
I let out a sigh as I sit on the bed with my legs crossed, facing Iroha with my fists newly reformed, in front of her.
"Guy A has something that makes him the most wanted guy around. Yet no matter what, Guy B has something as well. Something that Guy A would want, but will never have. And whether he admits it or not, it makes him pissed. What could that be?"
Once again, Iroha Isshiki stares at my fists, one after the other, before shaking her head.
"Guy A wears a mask on his face, daily. Guy B does that as well. Except the mask that Guy A wears doesn't reflect who he truly is inside, deep down. That would be how Guy B is perceived by everyone else. Guy A is the antithesis, the opposite, the negative picture of Guy B, in essence."
For a split second, it's almost as I saw the proverbial lightbulb appearing over Iroha's head.
"Wait a second Senpai. Guy A is popular, well liked, and a nice person, that's what you said, right?"
I nod.
"But that part of Guy A is the reflection others have of him, that's the 'mask' he wears everyday, right again?"
I nod again.
"And that mask... is only a cover for who he truly is. A shining mask of perfection on the outside to mask the ugliness on the inside. And if you go in reverse..."
"Guy B's mask that he wears every day is a reflection of Guy A's inside ugliness. Needless to say what Guy B truly is, and what his mask is."
Iroha looks at my left fist, then my right, and finally at me.
Did she connected the dots?
"Senpai, please don't tell me you're that Guy A? I'm sorry but if you are, even if you let me in on your very important secret that I will take into my grave, and I do admit that you are kind of good looking, you're too ugly inside to go out with you. I apologize but I must respectfully decline."
...
Why didn't I saw that one coming from a kilometer... No. A GALAXY away?
I let out a huff of tiredness. To think I'm supposed to help her go through so many things, and yet I fail at making her understand early that her 'feelings' for Hayama will only result in a painful disillusion...
"Senpai?"
"Hmmm?"
"You told me what the inside of Guy A is, but what is Guy B's secret?"
I tilt my head on the side, looking at her. Is she for real?
I raise my right fist, eyeing it as if it contains the secret of the Universe, before holding it in front of her.
"Guy B's secret... is so stupidly simple it shouldn't even be a secret at all. Guy B is willing to help people in need, even if they have a poor opinion of him. He would rather be hurt than seeing the people he cares about being hurt. He is going on rants and complains about how boring or annoying something is, but nonetheless, he won't give up, and will do his best to complete the task. He is true to himself, and isn't scared of having to cover his hands with mud or dirt if the end justifies the means. He would go to great lengths because he's just like that."
And you, Iroha Isshiki, won't admit to me that you knew the answer from the get-go, but wanted to hear me saying it out loud, right? That Guy A, Hayama Hayato, is the guy you have your eyes upon, and Guy B, is the one you're in bed with.
Hey hey, wait! Sentence, words, context! For fuck's sake!
"Tch."
Isshiki hear me snorting, and ponders curiously at what could be the reason for my sudden action.
Retreating my fist and unclenching it, I hunch forward, letting both my forearms rest on my thighs, like I do when I reflect on things, when I 'meditate'.
Once more, the root of the problem stems from one person, same as always: Hayama Hayato. From his past ties with the Yukinoshita sisters, the chain mail slandering his 'friends', trying to comfort Sagami and give her on a silver platter what she wanted, his inactions with Tobe and Ebina almost making his little group collapse, the double 'date' with Orimoto, the soon-to-come heartbreak of Iroha... Why does everything sound as if he was the great mastermind behind every fucked up thing that happens in this world?
Only so many coincidences can occur in such a short period of time to realize that it's not mere coincidences, but that someone is perhaps pulling the strings in the shadows, like a spider dragging its prey in its web to devour it...
I don't want to consider going there yet, but I believe that I will have to eventually deal with him in a more permanent manner...
Though I would prefer not to, if possible.
"Senpai!"
Oh come on! Don't tell me I was unconsciously monologuing, and she listened to all of it!
"Hm?"
"You weren't listening to me, were you? You had that face again, when you're really concentrated. You aren't constipated, are you?"
...I think I'm going to thank whatever 'lucky star' may exist in the sky if she keeps coming with idiotic ideas like that. Count your blessings while you still can, heh?
"No. I was just overthinking things again. Sorry. So, what were you saying, if you don't mind repeating it, please?"
Think of this chapter as some sort of transition between the previous one and the next. Things will resume back to where they stopped in the continuity of the story line in the following, aka, Isshiki's candidature for the Presidency of the School Council, her victory, and maybe an added bonus, but I can't tell of which nature.
