Tony had awakened early the next morning full of nervous energy. Angela was still sleeping peacefully, the monitor by her bed tracking the twins' heartbeats in a steady rhythm. He put on his light jacket and slipped out the door deciding to go on a mission in search of a proper breakfast for her. His favorite French bakery, the one with the croissants she loved, wasn't too far and he knew she would prefer that to rubbery hospital eggs. He hoped she would still be sleeping when he returned.
He entered the room with his box of selections, an assortment for her to keep in the room, and poked his head around the corner. Angela wasn't there; neither was her bed.
He ran to the nurse's station.
"Hi, my wife - Angela Micelli? She's ah, she's missing?" He said, trying to sound calm. "They must have switched her room?"
"Not exactly, Mr. Micelli, she's been taken to surgery."
"Surgery? What? She was sleeping when I left. I was only gone a half hour! What...what happened?"
"Her water broke when she got up to use the bathroom. One of the babies' heads descended onto the umbilical cord. When that happens, an emergency C-section is required. There's only minutes to get the babies out before they're deprived of oxygen. Your wife is very lucky there was a nurse in there when it happened."
"What? Can I go in? I need to see her...she can't be alone," Tony said, his voice frantic and bordering on hysterical.
"No sir, I'm afraid not. Only medical personnel are allowed inside an emergency cesarean. The babies will need to go directly to the NICU. Once they are stable, you'll be able to go up and visit them. Probably this afternoon."
Tony's head was spinning. "Are the babies going to be okay?"
"It's very early. They are 33 weeks today. But twins are often born early; 33 weeks is not ideal, but they are big for twins, the same size as singleton babies. So they have a great outlook. We have a state of the art NICU here Mr. Micelli, they will be in excellent hands."
"Is...is Angela going to be okay?" Tony asked quietly. His heart was in his throat; he could hardly breathe. How had this all gotten so bad, so fast?
The nurse's eyes darted away, and suddenly she stiffened. "I can't say much more, I'm sorry. But the doctor will be in shortly to talk to you."
He nodded numbly, and looked down at his stupid box of croissants. She had been all alone when it happened. Again she had needed him; again he hadn't been there.
"What do I do now?" he asked blankly.
"You can wait in her room; she will be wheeled there to recover when she's out of surgery."
He nodded and returned to the room. His mind was completely blank. He realized he needed to call Mona.
An hour later, Mona poked her head in and knocked gently on the door of Angela's hospital room.
"Hi."
"Hiya, Mone," Tony said quietly.
"Oh Tony. You look terrible," she said, frowning through a furrowed brow.
"Thanks, Mone, you really know how to cheer a guy up."
"Well it's obvious you haven't slept. Is Angela okay?"
"I haven't heard anything about Angela. The nurse came in a little while ago and said the twins are okay. They are being taken up to the NICU," he looked up at her with red, glassy eyes and said, "I didn't even get to see them. The nurse won't tell me how she's doing. This wasn't how any of this was supposed to happen, Mona."
Mona took his hand. "She's going to be all right, Tony."
"But what if she isn't?" Tony's heart chilled; he couldn't think about it.
"She will be, Tony. It's all going to be okay, you'll see."
A doctor came in just then, knocking lightly on the door as he entered. Tony looked up from the chair. "Mr. Micelli?"
"Dr. Montague! Boy am I glad to see you," he said, a breath of relief in his voice. Tony had gone with Angela to a number of her appointments, and Dr. Montague continued to impress him with his calm bedside manner and ability to plainly answer all of his concerns and questions.
"I'm glad I was on call today, Tony. Angela has had quite a scare. I think she's out of it now, but we needed to give her some blood to stabilize her. She is recovering now, but the nurse should be bringing back here any minute."
"What? Doctor what are you saying?"
"The strain on her body has been great. She was still getting on top of the pre-eclampsia when her water broke. Her organs began to fail during surgery. But like I said, I think she is stable now. I'm pretty sure she's out of the woods."
"Doc, I don't understand. Are you sayin'...are you sayin' she almost died?" Tony's face was stricken, as if he had seen a ghost.
"In a manner of speaking, yes. It was a bit dicey there for a minute. But we got her out of it. She's a fighter."
The door opened just then; Mona and Tony jumped up as Angela's bed was wheeled into the room.
"Angela!" Tony went to her bedside.
"She's still a little groggy, Mr. Micelli. She needs to rest, and we need to continue to watch her closely. But she's stable, Tony." the doctor said. "Your babies are beautiful. Small, but in good health. The next two weeks will be critical for them, but I'm very hopeful they will be okay."
"Thank you Dr. Montague," he said. "I can't thank you enough for saving my wife." Tony took Angela's hand and stroked her cheek tenderly; she was pale, but sleeping peacefully.
He smiled, "It's what we do. I'll check in on her again at the end of my rounds. She's very lucky the nurse was in here," Doctor Montague said. Tony's face fell. "Make sure she gets some sleep," he said, bowing his head goodbye as he turned to leave. The heavy door slammed shut behind him.
"I just went to get her breakfast, Mone. She was sleeping. I didn't know. I should have been here. I shouldn't have left her," Tony said to Mona, collapsing into the chair.
"Tony, nothing would have changed if you had been here. You weren't allowed in surgery anyway," Mona said soothingly.
"But she was alone when it happened. I should have been here," he repeated. "She almost died," he said, so soft it was almost a whisper.
Mona pulled her chair close to his and took his hand in both of hers. "Oh Tone. Angela is going to be okay, the doctor just said so. This isn't your fault. Marie's death wasn't your fault either. You are a good man, Tony. You have been through so much. It's the hardest thing in the world, losing someone we love, losing our partner in life. It imprints our hearts for the rest of our lives. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. But Angela is a fighter. And she knows how much you love her. And she loves you. Has loved you, for so long. She hasn't gone anywhere," she gripped the railing of the bedside for emphasis, "She's right here, Tony. She's safe."
"But she needed me and I wasn't here. I almost lost her," he repeated again. Fresh grief and hot tears were rising up within him from the depths of his heart, where his darkest sadness resided. It was a place he had long believed had healed over and sealed off, sometime in the first or second year they moved to Connecticut. But it had been their fateful trip to Italy when he began to understand that Marie's loss would always be a part of him, and he needed to recognize that to find true happiness again. Here, sleeping peacefully in this bed, having just given birth to his two babies, was his newfound happiness, and today he had almost lost her too.
"No, Tony. There is nothing you could have done. The nurse was here, that was the lucky thing. And if I know my daughter, she was probably glad you weren't here to see that all go down. She knows you would have been sick with worry after what happened to Marie. No one knew this was going to happen. She was asleep when you left. You were being a doting, thoughtful husband going to get her breakfast. Stop blaming yourself."
Tony's face was in his hands, his elbows on his knees, listening to Mona's uncharacteristically tender words, letting the grief wash over him freely.
Angela's eyes fluttered open and she rolled her head to the side. "Tony?"
He shot to his feet and took her hand. "Hi sweetheart."
She looked at him through heavy eyelids, her brow furrowed with worry. "The...babies?" she asked.
"They're okay," he choked out, his voice cracking with emotion. "We'll go see them in a little while."
"They're okay? Both of them?"
He nodded. "Both of them," he smiled at her, tenderly sweeping her hair back from her forehead.
Her eyes welled with tears. "I'm so sorry, Tony."
"Oh Angela, you don't have anything to be sorry about. You did everything right. Those babies were just anxious to meet their beautiful mother. I'm just so glad you're okay."
"Anna and Thomas," she mumbled.
"My parents?" Tony looked at her, puzzled.
"No Tony, the babies. Their names. They are a part of our story. Our terra firma," she said drowsily.
His eyes filled with tears. "You want to name the babies after my parents?" They hadn't started talking about names yet. They were both so nervous about the pregnancy that they wanted to wait until closer to the due date to decide.
She nodded sleepily and he kissed her hand. "Angela, we can name them anything you want. Dumbo and Pinocchio, I don't care. You can decide. But I would be honored to name them for my parents. Maybe...Anna Ramona," he looked at Mona, who was taking in the scene tearfully. Mona's eyes shone at Tony.
"And Thomas Anthony," she gave him a weak smile.
He nodded at her, suddenly unable to speak.
"What's today?" Angela asked.
"The date? It's um, May 6th dear. A great day for a birthday," Mona chimed in.
Her face lit up in a slow, hazy smile as she looked at her husband. "Tony. It's our anniversary."
He looked at her, puzzled. It was obvious that she was still a little loopy from the anesthesia. "Our anniversary isn't for another five months, Angela," he said gently.
"No, Tony. The other anniversary. Remember? Polyester pate."
"Huh, you're right, Angela. That's a little weird, don't you think? It's like it was fate."
"And you're even back at the hospital," Mona quipped. "I've said it all along, it was written in the stars."
Angela relaxed into her pillow. "I can't wait to meet them," she sighed.
"Me either, Ange. They're getting them settled in the NICU right now. The nurse said we could go up there this afternoon," he hit the light switch on the bed as he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Get some sleep. I'll be right here. I'm not leaving your side."
She closed her eyes for a moment before murmuring, "Tony?"
"Yes, Angela?"
"I love you."
His heart squeezed with joy tinged with relief, and something else, a tenderness that ached, a feeling he couldn't quite name. "I love you too, Angela."
A/N: The final chapter is finished and will be posted after it's edited in just a few days :).
