Just an idea I got from browsing the DW section on A03 and a conversation with my friend Aragorn II Elessar.
This takes place Sometime after Doctor Who series 5 and TVD 3x04. And it's a crack fic, so it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Amy Pond was in Hell. There was no other explanation.
It had all started when The Doctor had received a phone call from an old friend of his, someone called Alaric Saltzman. Amy had gotten a good laugh at the name. That had been the last time she had laughed in two days.
The Doctor had taken them to a town called Mystic Falls in America. Apparently, Alaric had been made guardian of a couple of teenagers, a girl named Elena and her brother. At Alaric's request, The Doctor had agreed to take Elena with them. Apparently she was having a tough time and Alaric thought traveling with them for a bit would help her.
At first, it wasn't so bad. Amy honestly felt sorry for Elena upon hearing about all the horrors she had endured (vampires and werewolves actually existed, who know?) and Elena seemed nice enough. But her patience had worn thin.
The more Elena talked, the more annoying she became. Her inability to stop talking about her own tragedies and problems was honestly impressive in a narcissistic sort of way. Even the Raggedy Man had gotten annoyed by it after a few hours. Elena also struck Amy as pretty vain. Not in the spoiled brat kind of way, but she just seemed to make everything that happened about herself. Elena even managed to make her friends hardships sound like an extension of her own problems.
The only one on the TARDIS who seemed to tolerate her was Rory, and even he did it begrudgingly. Sweet, kind, amazing Rory, who kept trying to be nice to Elena. Who was kind to even the most selfish creature. Who was blissfully unaware thane Elena was flirting with him.
Amy seethed silently, glaring at Elena as she laughed way too hard at a story Rory was telling her about their adventures. Rory, who only had eyes for her, was usually oblivious when other women flirted with him. Usually, it didn't bother Amy too much because one glare from her would make them back off. But Elena was either too stupid to take the hint or just didn't care.
"So you're a doctor?" Elena inquired.
"He's The Doctor, I'm a nurse," Rory said absently as he looked at the console. "Like that?"
"Higher!" The Doctor's voice shouted from below the console.
"Not a lot of guys I know would try to become a nurse. They'd think it beneath them or something," Elena noted as Rory followed The Doctor's instructions.
"Their loss," Rory muttered only half paying attention.
"Yeah, their loss," Elena muttered, looking at him with the same lustful look that Amy was used to seeing once women realized how wonderful her husband was.
And that did it. Amy suddenly stormed over and grabbed Elena by the back of her hair, yanking hard. Elena let out a pained yelp as Rory looked at her startled.
"Amy?" Rory asked in confusion.
Amy ignored Rory, yanking on Elena's hair and pulling her towards the TARDIS doors.
"I don't care if the Raggedy Man is friends with your guardian. You do not get to flirt with my husband in front of me!" Amy snapped.
The Doctor rushed out from under the console as Amy reached the doors. Amy yanked the doors open and shoved Elena out. Elena screamed as she was shoved out of the TARDIS, sucked into the vortex before Amy shut the doors and turning to her boys, who looked torn between surprise, amusement and relief.
"So, where to next?" Amy asked cheerfully.
