Connect With Their Emotions

It was early dawn, and there wasn't enough light in any of the rooms of her apartment to see her new dress properly. It had fit perfectly in the dressing room, but those lights were purposefully flattering, and she wanted to make sure there wasn't something she ought to know about before she packed it up to take it to work. Addy decided she was just going to have to take her living room lamps into the bedroom and crowd them around the mirror.

One of the things to check was whether the stability tape she needed to wear with such a low back was easy enough to apply in a hurried, non-ideal location. It wasn't comfortable with a bra on over it, but that was to be expected. Addy looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Her hair was in an uncomplicated updo, with the longer section in the front curled instead of braided. She pinned it up to preserve the curls, hoping to let them cascade down mostly unwilted for the evening event.

The dress itself was a dream come true. It was a little deeper than emerald green, with a high neck that belied the deep plunge to her middle back. Her favorite piece of jewelry wasn't suited to business suit attire at the White House, but the carved mother of pearl pendant looked perfect when hung backwards with her new dress. It was a quill, which was appropriate enough for a writer attending an official White House event.

Addy changed into a simple pantsuit in brown and packed away everything but the shoes, which she planned to wear all day. They were gold, as was the chain and bracelet she planned to wear with the dress, both of which looked good with her current outfit. It wasn't until she was walking into the bullpen area that she realized she was still wearing the pendant, which she adjusted to hang down under her buttoned suit jacket. She'd already dropped off her garment bag in CJ's office, and there was a lot to do before the dinner tonight, if she was even called on to attend.

"Addy? Could I speak with you a minute?"

Toby sounded more stilted than normal, so she wasn't surprised when he shut the door behind him. As soon as he opened his mouth to explain what he didn't want the rest of the bullpen to hear, though, his phone rang. Since it was his direct line, she knew it had to be important.

"Ziegler. Yeah, I'll be right there."

"Go on, I'll be around," she said, adding an awkward, "At least unless Leo taps me to sit in on the State Dinner," which was mostly spoken to his empty office.

They passed each other in the hall a few hours later, and Toby signaled for her to step aside to speak. Almost immediately, Josh came up behind them and started asking him about something.

"You could write it down?" Addy said innocently, before he stepped away. The scowl he shot her was a thrill.

She didn't see him again until after Leo confirmed they would need her for the dinner. Addy walked into CJ's office dressed for the event with her shoes in hand, only to find Toby there chatting with CJ as she put on her earrings.

"Oh! I can come back, if this is important?" Addy said, feeling unusually vulnerable. She hadn't thought about how wearing such a dress around him would make her feel like she was revealing their secret in their reactions to each other.

Toby's voice sounded a little strained, and he didn't look at her at all, which was wise of him. CJ could be perceptive sometimes. "Your boss was just asking me to quiz her on the demographics of the man she'll be seated next to tonight. She's afraid that there will be nothing to talk about if she can't remember where he went to college."

"You have a way of making me feel really defensive, did you know that?" CJ said.

"I pride myself on it."

"This is just me trying to make sure everything looks White House appropriate. Thanks for the rec, the lady I spoke to in special events gave me the name of a perfect little place," Addy told CJ. Neither of them could see the back of her dress yet, but she hadn't expected to ask her question with him in the room.

"The edging at your throat is tilting a bit, I have a trick for that," CJ said. "C'mere."

She couldn't wave Toby off, so she summoned as much grace as she could muster, timing her next question so that she'd be speaking right as she walked past him. "I brought a lace shawl if you think the back is too much?"

Toby started coughing.

"You look great, I'm glad you found something," CJ said pointedly, once she'd fiddled with Addy's neckline to her satisfaction. "Toby, doesn't she look great?"

"The quill necklace is a nice touch," he said in a quiet voice. CJ looked confused, so Addy turned around and held still so she could see. Toby looked flustered. He widened his eyes at Addy for a split second, and she favored him with a huge smile, since CJ wouldn't be able to see it. "I hope for your sake someone with a Lit Nobel is at your table."

"Toby!" CJ said.

"What? You already know you're not seated near one!"

"CJ?" Carol interrupted from the doorway.

"It's here?" Toby asked, presumably meaning the bill Bartlet was about to veto. Carol's nod sent CJ into motion. She grabbed her things and rushed for the door. "I'll be right behind you," Toby told her, and the last thing they both saw was her nod as she left.

"Are you planning to work through the dinner? As in, will you still be here when it's over?" Addy asked Toby as they walked toward the door themselves.

"I'll still be here," he said, reaching for the door- but instead of pulling it wider so they could walk through, Toby pushed it closed with the flat of his hand. A thrill went through her, magnified by the little nudge he made to encourage her to turn around. Sensation eddied around the point of contact as she did so, heightening the vulnerability of her bare back and their exposed position as interlopers in someone else's office.

Toby rested his weight on the door with one hand, crowding her against it. His eyes shone with intensity as he looked down at her. "You look beautiful. We need to have a private dinner somewhere where I won't have to risk fifty articles by Danny or Deborah detailing the way I stare at you."

"Know a place that takes reservations two to six years in advance?" she asked, resting a gentle hand on his chest.

That seemed to activate something impetuous in Toby. Even though it was CJ's office and anyone could walk in, he dipped his head and kissed her roughly, free hand held in the air as if he couldn't trust himself not to muss up her outfit. The kiss was possessive but brief, and as soon as it was over, he pushed off from the door and reached for the knob.

Addy felt like a lightning rod, a conduit for the things she wanted (more kisses, more time spent with him, more everything) and the things she didn't (to be caught by anyone on the other side of the door). Inevitably, the positive and negative aspects would meet, and condemnation and happiness would flow both ways, she knew. The question would be whether the sheer voltage would ruin both of their lives.

He'd pleased her so much with the risky kiss that as they left the room, Addy almost forgot there was something else. "Oh! Here," she said, pulling a square of paper from her clutch. "I wasn't sure I'd see you."

The normal bustle of activity on a big night like this meant that there were multiple people around, and Toby looked appropriately annoyed to be halted yet again on the way to the Oval Office. He snatched the paper from her hand and stalked off without saying anything, and Addy took the whole thing as a performance, one meant to protect them. She pulled in a long breath to steady herself and went looking for the entry point for the State Dinner.

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The override vote was going to happen tonight.

Everything was going to hell, and the evening had only just started. They needed a new whip count immediately, and he didn't trust any of the staffers that were left in the building- at least, not the ones who weren't already busy.

Toby scratched at his beard, waiting for the Congressman he was calling to pick up. If he asked Addy to leave the dinner to help out with the phones, he knew she would, but the optics of that weren't great on multiple fronts. Josh, Leo, and CJ were already going to have to step out at various times, tempting the old canard of 'Dems in Disarray' from Sherri What'sherface from Whichever Lifestyle Magazine even if they did manage to stop the override vote from going through.

Leo walked into the Roosevelt Room hopping mad, right when Toby's congressman picked up.

The news wasn't good.

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"Hey, Addy! Over here." Addy turned to see Josh wearing a tuxedo and a slightly askew bow tie. "I swapped your seat," he said, looking a little sheepish.

"You… changed the seating at a State Dinner?" she asked, incredulous.

Josh stepped closer. The room was only a third full, but there were already two tuxedo-clad, venerable-looking men at the table he'd called her over to. "Look," he said, pulling out a chair for her to sit next to one of them. "Your table already had two other MIA congressmen along with your guy, and we're relocating the whole table. Even if we weren't, the Physics laureate you were supposed to sit next to is the most pompous jerk I've ever had the displeasure of speaking with. I'm doing you a favor."

"Josh!" Addy hissed, but the two men at their table were chuckling.

"It's common knowledge, Miss, trust me," one of them said. He had a thick accent she couldn't place.

"Sit down, we don't bite!" said the other.

"I will sit on one condition. Josh, please tell me you were enlisted to tell me where to sit, and you didn't take it upon yourself to-"

"Would anyone competent put me in charge of reseating Nobel Laureates?"

She narrowed her eyes, but Josh's wry expression remained unchanged, so Addy sat down. "For the record, no."

"You did your due diligence," the gentleman with the accent reassured her.

"Also for the record, I happen to like physics," she sniffed.

Josh collapsed into a chair across the table from her and fiddled with his bow tie. "Good, because I don't know a neutron from a quart or a… bison?"

"Quark. Boson," she corrected, wincing.

"Those still sound more like seafaring words to me."

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They'd stopped the override vote, but that hadn't been the only crisis of the evening. The mood in the Oval was somber and sad.

"I'm going to do this alone, have a good night everybody," the President said, referring to the call of condolence he was about to make.

Toby didn't blame him; all of their suggestions of what to say to the parents of the slain brothers had to do with agendas, not the painful, sudden loss of a beloved family member. He supposed the differences of perspective were natural, but that hadn't made it easier to decide what to say.

"Oh, Toby? Abbey asked that you stop by the residence, before you head home," Bartlet said, his hand on the telephone receiver he had yet to pick up.

"The residence?" Toby asked, confused.

"Yeah, I dunno what for."

There wasn't more time to ask, so Toby reversed course and went out onto the terrace, a bubble of concern rising in his gut. The last conversation he'd had with the First Lady had been contentious, an argument, really, and there wasn't much hope of this being different. He passed the Secret Service agent on guard at the door and felt more concerned; the man wasn't surprised to see him, which meant that whatever he was being called into wasn't last-minute.

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Addy hadn't expected to enjoy the event on a personal level, but the discourse at her table had been lively, covering a range of topics. The man she was speaking to was using 'wrapping up' language, so she was glad she didn't have to use her go-to, which was discreetly glancing at her watch. She wasn't wearing one today; both of hers weren't nice enough to wear tonight.

"It's been a lovely chat, thank you," she told him at the end of his anecdote.

"I am pleased that your colleague kidnapped you for our table, Miss Blair," the man said, tapping the table with his knuckle as he got up. Addy inclined her head to him, and he walked away.

The luxurious stretch that she wanted to do would probably twist her dress in dangerous ways, and if it didn't, it could threaten her boob tape, so Addy suppressed the urge and stood up, gathering her small purse. As she crossed the room to find the exit that would lead her into more familiar areas of the White House, she saw a man in a black suit that seemed to be angling toward her. She slowed, and he seemed to decide she was who he was looking for.

"Ms. Blair?" he said quietly.

"Yes?"

"Can you follow me, please?"

Even without any alcohol in her system, Addy didn't think she would have been able to retrace the path the man, likely a Secret Service agent, led her on. What she didn't expect was for it to end at the President's private residence.

"I'm sorry, are you sure this is-"

"Addy, there you are! You made Ambrose wait quite a while, but you know how it goes. No polite way to interrupt a Nobel Laureate," the First Lady said, walking toward her. She was still wearing her elegant gown, but had taken off her earrings.

"Good Evening, ma'am. Is there something I can- I mean…" Addy trailed off, deeply confused.

"Jed doesn't keep much from me, dear. At least now it makes sense why you were off by yourself at the farm that one night, hmm? Come with me," Abbey Bartlet said.

Addy's muscles locked for a few seconds, causing her to need to trot to catch up. The First Lady stepped through an arched doorway and then moved back, gesturing toward the center of the room with one hand.

The man seated at the rich wood dining table stood, dipping his head in deference to their host. It was Toby.

"I had them bring up some of the extra dessert a little while ago. I'd give it about forty-five minutes before my husband makes his way over, and it's my guess that he'll be pretty well worn out by then. Good night," Dr. Bartlet said before leaving the room by a door on the other side of the room.

"What just happened?" Addy asked in a hushed voice.

"I think we just got put in a position to owe the First Lady a very big favor." Toby walked over to the chair beside his, not the one across, and pulled it out for her to sit.

Addy walked over, but instead of sitting down, she stood very close to him, unaccountably shy. "I was going to hug you," she whispered, "-but you're more important to me than a room full of Nobel winners, and I lost my nerve."

"That is-" Toby paused, reaching up to scratch his forehead with a thumbnail. "That's sweet. Do you know, I can't predict you?" He hesitated a second, and then pulled her to him for a brief hug before stepping back and looking distractedly at their surroundings. "There are some things I'll never be able to predict, but I'm usually good with political people. You? Complete mystery."

This was the kind of high praise that made a girl completely moon-eyed. She made do by sitting down and gesturing for him to sit opposite her. The table had actual silver covers over the dessert plates, and when she lifted hers, she tapped it against his in a kind of toast.

"Is it any good?"

"You think I want to tell my maybe boyfriend that I've already had one dessert?"

His hand had been lifting a forkful to his mouth, but it faltered. "Addy-"

"This is a really bad time to use that tone of voice," she said in a small voice.

"I'm stunned, not unhappy. 'Boyfriend-'" Toby put down the fork and looked at her, full focus, dark eyes glittering. "I want that. We've skipped a lot of the definition phase out of sheer necessity."

He looked down at his lap for a second, and Addy rushed to say, "We skipped a lot of things. So, tell me about something that makes you happy. Something I wouldn't know about."

"First date stuff?"

She did a little shrug that brought her shoulder up to the ringlets that fell beside her face, which she noticed him noticing.

"Okay," he said, taking up his fork again.

As they ate their desserts, Addy got to watch him talk about baseball. Toby's whole body relaxed, even as his gestures and his tone of voice intensified. There was ranting, there was smiling, and through it all, she felt warm, like she was melting into him, even though they weren't in physical contact.

"I just realized you haven't said anything in a good ten minutes," he finally said, setting down his fork and frowning at a place on his pants where his gesticulating with it had dripped sauce.

"Ah, ah!" Addy said, grabbing her glass of water and dipping the edge of a cloth napkin into it. "You'll spread it all around with your finger oils."

"Maybe I want to. Maybe I want to see these pants in two weeks and remember this moment."

I'm definitely in love with you, Addy thought to herself, but out loud she said, "Maybe you'll be at a meeting with the senior senator from California and she'll think poorly of your laundry skills."

"If I'm in a meeting with the senior senator from California, my laundry skills will be the least of her worries," Toby said, but he took the napkin.

"Baseball was how I bonded with my grandmother. I still can't believe you can notate an entire game on a single sheet of paper. Every ball, every strike." Addy gasped, understanding coming to her after over a decade.

"What?"

"We'd listen to the games on the radio. I just realized, she had to hear every single second to fill out the card. She was teaching me how to be quiet, not just how to listen!" Addy shook her head. "She's probably up there shaking her head at me for taking this long to recognize that."

"She was an exceptional teacher, then," he said, crumpling the napkin and setting it over his plate. "You're a very attentive listener."

"It's much easier when you're-" Addy stopped herself, blushing. "When you care about the person," she amended. Then she laughed. "And when your job depends on it. What time is it? I didn't have a nice enough watch to wear with this dress."

"We're at about thirty-eight minutes," Toby said. "Felt like five."

"Which is worse, do you think? Leaving our plates for the First Lady of the United States to clean up, or invading her kitchen to load them into the dishwasher?" Addy asked, standing up and reaching out for his plate.

"Leaving them," Toby said, reaching around her outstretched hand to grab her plate, snagging both glasses with his other hand, and starting for the kitchen.

"Hey!" she whispered, following behind. "I wanted to help!"

He didn't flip the overhead light on, but there was a small bulb illuminating the sink that he used to tip their glasses out in turn to rinse off each plate before stacking them beside the sink.

"You do help. You've made all of this bearable for me, more than that." Toby turned around, casting the front of his body in shadow. "Everything means more, as dangerous as that is. I've had to accept that my future is not my own, which is a concept that used to scare me."

"Three minutes left, and he says the most romantic thing-"

Her words were cut off as he tugged her close, framing her face with his hands as he kissed her. The flavor of their dessert made the kiss intoxicating, and Addy pressed close, clinging to his suit jacket. Toby made a noise of dismay and gentled the kiss, stepping back.

"I'm goal-oriented, and right now my goal is to get to do that in a situation where no interruption is imminent," he grumbled. "Keep that dress?"

The darkness of the room hid the way she felt like her entire body was blushing. "Absolutely."

"We shouldn't leave together," he said, "-and I've reached my quota of Bartlet lectures. See you tomorrow?"

Addy nodded. He turned, made it to the doorway, and then strode back, reaching out to drag his fingertips over the curls made up of the hair she usually had in her signature braid.

"I've wanted to do that all night, among other things. Good night."

"Put them on the list," she whispered.

"Oh, they're on there."