Sandor was awake and in the middle of dressing when I woke up. I sat up abruptly.
"Is everything alright?" I asked groggily.
"Figured you'd want more rest. You were tossing about the rest of last night."
"I'm sorry," I fretted.
"Didn't bother me until you kicked me in the ass, literally. You stopped after I caught you up and held you still."
I tried to suppress my laughter.
There was a hurried knock on the door.
"Kezya?!" Fred's voice sounded panicked.
I immediately sprang into action. Fred was a very shy boy but rarely became as bothered as to how he sounded now.
I threw on my chemise and cracked open the door.
"What is it?"
"Scouts from Winterfell rode in to tell us Queen Sansa and Jon Snow are riding in with their courts. They'll be here by nightfall."
"Fuck!" I squawked, actually startling Sandor, who drew away from me for a moment. I threw modesty to the wind as I picked up my clothes and started dressing right there. "Ready the cart and mule, Fred."
"Right!" He pulled the door shut, no doubt trying to save what little modesty I had left.
"Got to go to the market and get more meat. Otherwise, Jon's wildlings might revolt and raid the inn," I panted as I did up my laces.
"I'll go with you," offered Sandor.
"Great. I'll take you and leave Fred here to help Opal."
We set out in a cart pulled by the inn's mule so I could buy more produce and meat while we were in the village. Sandor insisted on doing the lifting, heaving sacks of potatoes over his shoulder and loading them into the cart as I dug in my purse for coins.
"That a new worker of yours?" A shop lady asked, her eyes watching appreciatively as Sandor stretched out his arms as he rearranged the cart's contents.
"He's...a friend," I said, a slight smirk on my face.
"You sure know how to pick out friends," she teased. I giggled as I handed her coins for the potatoes. Sandor peeked at me, and a brow raised when he saw both of us looking at him. I smiled wide, and it sent the shop lady into a fit of giggles.
"You'd make a nice pair," she gushed. Sandor's brow rose even more.
"Right, off to the butcher's now!" My cheeks were glowing red as I brushed past the woman to the next stall.
We were soon loaded down with a full cart that included a dozen clucking chickens.
On our way back, Sandor stopped the cart in front of where the statues stood and got down, helping me step down as well. My breath escaped in heavy exhales as I approached the statues first, my heart beating fast as I heard Sandor's footsteps behind me. The statues stood in a row of five men, Declan in the center. I slowly walked up to the statue and touched the hand lightly.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tearing up.
"What are you apologizing for?" asked Sandor, sounding concerned.
"I felt like I was cheating on him," I said quietly.
"You can't cheat on the dead, girl." He put a hand on my shoulder as he came forward, facing Declan's statue head-on. Even with the raised platform, Sandor was still taller.
"I'm sorry you're dead," he said. "That was one hellish battle we fought. Fire and walking dead fuckers everywhere. You were probably one of the lads dipping their swords in oil to light them on fire. You Northerners are fucking insane."
I laughed through my tears as I listened to him talk at Declan like a fellow soldier would. Like old friends would. I listened to him recount his side of the battle, some of the details chilling me to the bone.
He then talked about King's Landing and the battle with his brother.
"It wasn't the first time I was left broken beyond belief. Ultimately both times were caused by women. The first time was Brienne of Fucking Tarth tossing me down a cliff, and the second time that Targaryen bitch blasted down the tower we were in trying to kill Cersei Lannister. I think it's safe to say that women scare me the fuck to death."
I let out a giggle and caught his eye.
"Especially you," he said softly. "You scare me the most."
"You jest," I replied. "You could toss me across a room if you wanted."
"It was only supposed to be an affair for one night," he said, his dark eyes steadily gazing at me. "I don't know how or when the fuck it happened, but my body reacts to you like I'm a fucking horny boy, and my heart flutters like I'm a fucking pansy."
"Sandor…" I touched his arm, glad he didn't move away. "It's alright. My heart flutters for you, too." I felt emotions prick at the corner of my eyes.
"I see the way you look at me like I'm the only thing you can see. And I've never had a woman hold me as you do. I don't deserve it."
"I wonder if I deserve how good you treat me," I said.
"You deserve better. You should find someone else like this lad that won't bring you heartbreak. I'll just bring you more pain than you need."
"No. You won't hurt me," I whispered, tears slowly rolling down my face. He took a long look at me, his expression in awe as if I had just said something profound. He reached for me, his hands cupping my face and wiping my tears away before one hand combed through my hair.
"I won't hurt you," he repeated slowly, gazing straight into my eyes. He stared at me for another moment before looking down and sighing.
"What's wrong, Sandor?"
"Right after I fucking said…." Sandor murmured to himself before trailing off and continuing, "I have to tell you something...it might hurt your feelings, but it needs to be said to be truthful to you."
I gulped, feeling my stomach drop a little.
"Yes?" I asked shakily.
"Well...years ago, back in King's Landing when I was still King's Dog. I devoted my thoughts and affections to Sansa Stark."
My eyebrows shot up. I hadn't expected to hear that. But I wasn't surprised. Sansa was a beautiful young woman.
"The night of the Battle at Blackwater...I drunkenly kissed her," he confessed, his tone sounding resigned.
My jaw dropped. I definitely hadn't expected to hear that. My heart had plummeted to my stomach.
"I offered to take her out of King's Landing, but she refused me. I didn't see her until years later. She sat with me for a moment after the Long Night. She said if she had gone with me back then, she'd still be a little bird. And when I came across her in the hallway the morning I left Winterfell, she said she knew she'd probably never see me again and kissed me. But then I survived King's Landing, and she was there, along with Arya, when I woke up for the first time after being pulled from the rubble. She had been crying for me. Said she was so relieved and happy that I was alive. Kissed me again before she had to leave back to Winterfell. A chaste peck from a bird. That was the last time I saw her. Five years ago. When I came through here, my intention had originally been to head up to Winterfell and offer her my service. Her well-being was important to me. I hoped I'd get closer to her. But I got scared shitless from my own thoughts and doubts. I was having such vivid dreams that she would either refuse me or that I'd displease her in some way, and she'd send me away. So, I found myself at your inn, wanting to drink myself into a stupor to see if I could clear my head."
"That means you...still felt for her the first time we were together," I said.
"No. Your similar shade of red hair made me notice you, but it was you and the way you treated me that intrigued me. Whatever I thought I'd felt for her is nothing compared to how I think I feel for you."
"But she...she obviously likes you from what you've described. Sansa Stark is incredible. You couldn't possibly pick me over her." Tears ran down my face as feelings of guilt and unworthiness washed over me.
"Don't be fucking daft," he hissed, pulling me into his arms. "Stop fucking crying."
"There's no way," I continued. "She still cares for you. I can't get in the way of that."
"You're not in the fucking way of anything when there's nothing between her and me."
"But--"
"If she had wanted me, she would've done something about it by now," he grumbled. "That's how it is with you gingers. The lot of you are all determined to get what you want when you want it."
"Then tonight will speak for itself when she sees you again," I said quietly, walking back to the cart. Sandor stopped me, a hand around my wrist.
"Enough foolish talk from you," he growled.
I looked at where he held my wrist and then up at him. He pulled me closer and cupped my chin in his large hand. His voice started low and serious, his soft gaze never leaving mine.
"I don't really know what the fuck love is about. I never bothered with it. My own fucking family didn't love me. I preferred everyone to leave me the fuck alone. But...fucking seven hells. I've only known you for a week, and all of a sudden, I don't mind the thought of being with you all of the time."
I was overcome with emotion, and my tears started up again.
"For fuck's sake, stop blubbering, Kezya," he grumbled.
He pulled me close to his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me. I hugged him back, and my face pressed into his chest as I let out all my emotions.
I lifted my head as my sobs subsided and caught a great big breath. Sandor's lips softly covered mine in a tender kiss before leading us back to the cart and helping me up. He took the reins, and I sat beside him, leaning on him affectionately with my hand resting on his thigh.
"For five years, what had you been doing?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Focused on building myself back up the first year. I took over my family's keep and took in a few squires after the King said he'd pay me double to help train the little shits. Sent them back to King's Landing when their time with me was up, got my coin, and started my journey north."
"How was it like training squires?"
"Fucking waste of time. A bunch of lily-livered little shits. They were in it for the gaudy armor like most of those fuckers are."
"You were in it for the coin."
"At least coin is practical." He looked down at me. "And I'd made my smartest purchase with those coins."
I made a small noise of annoyance.
"I remember you putting them on the table when I clearly held my hand out for them," I said, softly glaring at him.
"I wasn't looking at your hand," he muttered, pointedly glancing at my bosom. I let out a hoot of a laugh and smacked his thigh lightly. The rest of the ride back was spent in companionable silence littered with the occasional small talk and flirty joke. It was a breath of fresh air with Sandor.
By the time we had returned, some of our extra help that Opal and I had sent out for in the village had come by to help in preparations. Sandor was a big help in unloading the cart.
After the last bundle was brought inside, Sandor grabbed me and whisked me off to a secluded stall in the stables, a smirk on his lips. I opened my mouth to question him, but he leaned down and pressed his lips urgently against mine. His hands were already roaming over me, and I felt a poking at my belly when our bodies pressed together.
"You want to do it here?" I whispered incredulously. He merely licked his lips, backed me against the stall wall, and knelt to lift my skirts. My face instantly flushed. "We'll get caught!"
Any more protests instantly died on my lips as I felt his wonderful mouth on me. I closed my eyes, gasping for several minutes as he worked me up and made me crazy for him. He stood before I could finish and smirked, his dark eyes twinkling when I looked at him and let out a whine of protest.
I let out a cry of surprise when he grabbed my legs and quickly hoisted me up, pinning me between him and the wall with my legs around his waist, my skirts still hitched up over my thighs. He fumbled between us to free his hardness from his trousers and buried himself inside me with a quiet grunt. My ankles locked around his waist as he started to move urgently. My arms held on to him for dear life, moaning softly into his ear.
His hips found a strong staccato rhythm, letting out a growl of pleasure. We lost ourselves in shared passion for several long moments until I was writhing between him and the wall, my body arching into him as my release pulsed around him. As he came inside me, his sharp thrusts triggered an aftershock of pleasure, and I moaned his name loudly. He shushed me half-heartedly, kissing my neck as we slowly came back down from our highs.
"You make me wild for you," he rumbled into my ear, making me shiver pleasantly.
"As do you," I replied, holding on to him as he set me back down on my feet. We shared one last kiss before making our way out of the stables, a couple of horses giving us judging stares.
As the Royal procession rode in, I stood in front of the inn, Opal, Fred, and our extra helpers next to me.
Queen Sansa dismounted her horse right in front of us and smiled as she walked over. We all bowed and curtsied accordingly.
"I'm glad to see you all well," she said.
"You as well, Your Grace," I said. Still, inside I felt my heart break as I took in her beauty. Opal started leading her inside.
I was hit from the side suddenly and yelped. I thought I'd fall over, but slender yet strong arms wrapped around me to steady me.
"Hello again," said Arya Stark in an alto tone, resting her chin on my shoulder. I laughed as I hugged her back.
"You snuck up on me! Good to see that you're still making dramatic entrances," I said.
"My ginger sister!" Tormund didn't even bother waiting for Arya to get out of the way before hugging me. I patted him on the back, laughing, as Arya struggled to escape the group hug looking annoyed.
Jon laughed at our antics as he walked up, pulling Tormund away so Arya could escape.
We filed into the inn, guards and free folk alike mingling at the tables while many more set up camps outside. Opal and two helpers, young lads the same age as Fred, went into the kitchen. The helpers that were helping me serve were a pair of sisters from the village, the butcher's daughters.
The conversation was pleasant all around as drinks and food were shared.
Sandor came down the stairs about an hour after the company had arrived, his eyes seeking me out. I made my way to him as he settled himself at the end of a bench.
"Are you ready to fight for your chicken?" I teased.
"Anyone that touches what's mine is getting tossed." As he said this, his hand lazily traced the skin of my knee under the table after he had discreetly bunched up my skirts.
"You have a lot of fighting to do, then," I continued to tease.
"Heeey! Big Dog!" Tormund smacked Sandor on the back. Sandor's face instantly went sour.
"Ginger Fuck," he replied. Tormund laughed heartily at that and sat down beside him, taking a swig from the most enormous drinking horn I had ever seen.
"You don't look like you fell off a tower," said Tormund, his gaze focusing closely on Sandor's face.
"What is someone that fell off a tower supposed to look like?" I asked curiously.
"Flat," replied Tormund. I bit my lip to stop a giggle as Sandor rolled his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Arya sat across from Sandor, a slight frown on her face.
"I should ask you the same. Isn't Essos your home now?" Sandor replied.
"I'm allowed to visit."
"So am I."
Arya snorted.
"You're not the visiting type," she said. "There's got to be something you're after."
"I'll check on that chicken," I said, wanting to leave them to talk.
"Bring me one, too?" Arya asked, smiling politely.
"Right away, dove." Sandor flipped my skirts back down over my knee before I stepped away from the table. However, the motion was not missed by Arya and Tormund as they gave twin looks of wide-eyed surprise at us. I added to the shock by grinning widely before I walked into the kitchen.
Jon had joined the table when I came back from the kitchen. Sandor had quite a scowl on his face. It faded when I set down plates of chicken on the table for him and Arya. His hand brushed mine as he helped set his plate down, and I subtly trailed my hand over his arm to rest on his shoulder. It was Jon's turn to give a wide-eyed look. He looked around at Tormund, who nodded and wiggled his eyebrows.
"Need your jug filled, dove?" I asked, lightly massaging his shoulder.
"Normally, I do the filling," Sandor muttered. I had to duck away to laugh, my face bright red.
"You listened to me!" Tormund said excitedly.
"No, I try to ignore you," said Sandor flatly.
"No, I remember! You said you hated gingers. I told you gingers are beautiful. And look at you now!" He gestured between us.
"Shut up," said Sandor after a pause, hiding his face behind his mug.
Sandor and Arya dug into their chickens with similar gusto.
I walked away, still laughing at the sight, which cheered the other guests as I refilled their drinks and checked on them.
A few moments later, Sansa approached when I was dropping off three jugs for the table. Jon and Arya scooted to make room for her on their side, and she sat across from Sandor, smiling at him.
"It's good to see you well," she said.
"Definitely less broken than when you saw me last," said Sandor before he took a long swig. "What business brings you all down this way?"
"A treaty proposal between the independent kingdoms and the kingdom of the realm," answered Sansa. "Bran is being very cryptic as always, so we will have the details once we convene at the council."
"You sound like a proper Queen now," commented Sandor as he chewed at a bone. Sansa smiled at that.
"I couldn't picture myself as anything else," she replied. "And I know to prevent myself from repeating others' mistakes."
"That's good," said Sandor, sounding proud. He paused for a moment looking one by one at the three siblings across from them. "Any need for another sword?"
"Not me," said Jon. "My army is enough."
"I'm my own sword," said Arya. Sandor looked at Sansa, and I had to look away at the tender smile she gave him as she reached across the table to lay a slender hand on his bicep.
"Your sword will always have a place beside me, my dear Sandor…."
I couldn't listen to any more of it combined with the sting her words sent through me. I slipped away quietly and made my way to the stairs. I glanced back to see Sandor gazing raptly at her, hanging on to her every word, no doubt falling into her beautiful crystalline eyes. I shook my head and let a few tears fall as I ran up the stairs.
I had been a fool to start this whole thing.
All POV
"You're a good ruler and all, but you're still shit at reading the room," Arya snapped at Sansa, cutting across her sister's sappy monologue to Sandor.
Jon coughed lightly to disguise a bark of laughter. Tormund acted extra interested in something at the bottom of his drinking horn. Sandor blinked at the sudden sisterly squabble.
"What are you on about?" Sansa snapped back, annoyed. Arya glared at her.
"Are you so self-absorbed that you didn't notice how Sandor and Kezya kept touching one another? They weren't exactly hiding it, sister."
Sandor smirked a little and turned to exchange a look with Kezya only to see she had gone from the room. He glanced around the room, only seeing the hired help while the Royals were staying.
"She's not down here anymore. No doubt Sansa's swooning upset her, and I last saw her headed upstairs," said Arya. Sandor's brows knit together, and he started to hurry out of the bench.
"You're really with Kezya, Sandor?" Sansa asked, her eyes wide in surprise.
"I am," rumbled Sandor. Sansa's face erupted into a genuine wide grin. He stood. "Pardon me. I need to…."
"Yes. Please give her my apologies," said Sansa, looking guilty.
"Good luck! Don't say anything stupid!" Arya called to him as he left the table. Tormund gave a low whistle.
"I hope he'll be alright. I forgot to warn him about what happens when gingers get upset."
Kezya's POV
I heard my doorknob rattle before there was a sharp rapping.
"Kezya, open the door." It was Sandor.
"Go away, please," I said quietly.
"Not going to happen. Open up."
"Leave," I said, sounding more cross.
"Like fuck I'm leaving. Open the door, or I'll bust it down."
I wouldn't put it past him doing it, so I slowly stood and shuffled to the door. I unlocked it but only opened it a crack, sticking only my face out. He stood there, towering over me, and scowled.
"Are you going to let me in?"
"No."
"Fine, then. We're doing it my way."
Before I could react, he grabbed the door and pushed, making me stumble back with a yelp. He grabbed my elbow so that I wouldn't fall and slammed the door shut behind him. I glared up at him.
"You're really daft. D'you know that?" Sandor sounded exasperated. The sentence made my blood boil. I shrugged out of his grasp and trudged back to my bed and sat, crossing my arms.
"You should get it through your thick skull that you're the only woman for me," he growled. "I've known Sansa since she was a girl. She's gone from a pansy to a fearless Queen. It's fucking great what she's accomplished, but I won't ever be anything more to her than a protector."
I stayed silent, watching him.
He sighed and wandered over to my cabinet, eyeing the tin of moon tea and lifting it to sniff it.
"I think I've overstepped my boundaries," I said, looking at the floor.
"Boundaries," repeated Sandor, his eyes returning to me as he set the tin back.
"I'm low-born, Sandor. I'm just going to hold you back. You should go with the Starks."
"How are you going to hold me back?" Sandor demanded.
"I'm just an innk--"
"I fucking know you're a damn innkeeper, Kezya. It doesn't change anything about us. Not even if you were born in the fucking sewers of Fleabottom. My family raised dogs for a living and then, starting with my father and brother, became shitty knights with no fucking honor. How does any of that make me better than you? You've been living under a damn storm cloud for too long about your status. But yet I know there's so much light in you. I've seen it myself. It's what pulled me out of my own gloom."
My shoulders started to shake as I cried.
"Don't pull away from me now," he whispered. "You're...the only one I want to share every part of myself with. Can't you fucking see that?" His voice wavered at the end, and I heard him sniffle as if he had suddenly come down with hay fever. Our eyes met, and I melted. His eyes were shiny with emotion, much like my own at the moment. I stood and went to him, my hands cradling his face before bringing our lips together. His face felt wet, which triggered my own hot tears to roll down my cheeks.
"Stop your blubbering," I whispered against his lips.
"You first," he replied before kissing me again.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I want to give you all of me as well."
I pulled him with me, stepping backward slowly until the back of my knees made contact with the bed. He looked over the bed, his gaze falling on the clothes still folded on the pillow. I watched him walk over, gently pick the folded pile up and place it on the shelf next to Declan's sword and dagger. I nodded at the gesture. Declan wasn't going to wear them any longer. It was about time I finally accepted it. Sandor was there to plug the emptiness. He returned to my side, drawing me into his arms as he kissed me tenderly.
I felt his hands feel for my clothing, this time calm as he slowly undid my laces and ties. As he did this, his lips landed against mine softly, again and again. He pulled back, peeling off my blouse and corset first, and then very slowly sliding my skirts down my hips and letting them pool to the floor, leaving me in my chemise.
I didn't wait for him to make his next move. He was much too overdressed for my liking. I undid the fastenings of his vest before sliding it off his broad shoulders. I pulled his shirt free from being tucked into his trousers, placing a quick peck on his lips before lifting the shirt over his head and letting it fall to the floor. I ran my fingers over his chest in a feather-light manner, my eyes taking note of all the scars and imperfections that told the story of the man in front of me. He watched me, a reverent expression on his face. His eyes fluttered closed when my lips met his skin, trailing across and down. My hands slowly undid his trousers, mouth meeting his navel just before pulling them down. His eyes were upon me again, his chest rising and falling with quickened breaths. I pulled his trousers down until the point where they slid down his legs. My eyes never left his face as my mouth and hand touched his manhood, my lips kissing it lightly. He bit his bottom lip hard, desire flashing in his eyes.
"You don't have to--" he started.
"I want to," I smirked up at him before returning to the task at hand. My hand stroked him gently as my lips and tongue lightly teased the tip. A delicious growl escaped the back of his throat, and he reached to brace himself on my shoulder.
"Kezya, get on the bed," he urged.
"Uh-uh." I ran my tongue down his length, drawing out a choked moan from him. He stared at me in awe when I tested just how much of it could fit in my mouth. His head tilted back of his own accord when it touched the back of my tongue.
"Fuck," he sighed in enjoyment. He pulled me up by my shoulder, moaning when he slid out of my mouth. "Curse you, devil woman." I broke into giggles. He quickly helped rid me of my chemise and unceremoniously pushed me down onto the bed. He crawled over me, trailing his mouth over my skin before our lips met once more.
He slipped a hand between my legs, the languid movement of his fingers drawing a sigh of pleasure from my lips. I grabbed his face, raining tender kisses upon him as my heart raced with every touch.
He leaned his forehead against mine, and we kissed as he gently sank himself in slowly.
Sandor took his time, his hips moving deep and slow within me, raining kisses admiringly upon my face. I held him close in my arms, my legs crossing snugly around his waist as he moved faster.
We were soon a tangle of limbs and kisses and hushed exclamations of each other's names. Sandor held me close, his eyes gazing with affection as I found my release in his arms. He followed soon after, burying his face into my neck, his groans loudly conveying his satisfaction. I pulled him close as we caught our breath.
"Now, have I convinced you that I'm crazy for you?" Sandor asked, panting lightly.
"I think I'll need daily reminders," I said, smiling lovingly at him. To my surprise, he mustered up a crooked smile as he looked upon me.
"I can do that."
