Well, on her fifteenth birthday everything changed.

Elfleda had been finished with the fitting of her newest gown, her handmaiden and the seamstress had left. When Uglúk entered her room, she turned towards him. Her wavy, blonde hair tumbled down her back, a stray lock caressing her forehead. Her face was peachy, a tentative smile on her rosebud lips.

She was gazing at Uglúk with an excited, vulnerable expression in her blue eyes.

It was the exact moment his life turned upside-down.

With four simple words.

"How do I look?"

The Uruk-hai blinked.

Well, he was nothing if not honest with her, so he tried to answer.

His pale white eyes swept over her form. She had grown in the last year; her crown was almost reaching his sternum now. Her body was slender, yet proportionate, with long legs and a slim waist. She was not lanky in any way, her breasts shapely and perky and begging for his palms… to…

His mouth went dry.

His eyes snapped to his boots.

Unaware of his sudden inner turmoil Elfleda asked a little impatient.

"Well?"

The Uruk-hai swallowed thickly.

"You…" he rasped with inhuman effort "…you look… beautiful."

Without her dismissal he turned and fled.

-/-

During the week coming up to the feast arranged for her birthday he avoided her as best he could. It was to no avail. Whenever her sweet scent wafted towards him, his heartbeat sped up. Whenever he caught a glance of her willowy frame, heat suffused his huge body. He cursed his nose and eyes for tormenting him so.

Uglúk felt desperate and utterly torn.

Half of him – the orc in him – wanted to stand before her, straight and proud, showing her his prowess, claiming her as his…

The other half – the man – was ravaged by shame. He wanted to hide, to never show his monstrous body and abhorrent face to her again.

His grouchiness surpassed his usual gruff demeanor by miles. He became so insufferable Éomer felt the need to ask what his problem was.

What could he say?

'You know my friend, I'm betraying you by lusting after your daughter who I helped to raise.'

Uglúk could not utter that answer, so he made himself scarce.

-/-

But the time of hiding finally came to an end. The next day, during the feast, he must stand behind her chair, suffering the raging war between his instincts and conscious.

Uglúk was preparing for the occasion in his own way. (He didn't know exactly why he was putting this much care into this whole shit.)

Late at night, when everybody else was long asleep, he went down to the duck pond at the foot of the hill. Only a few stray dogs saw him. They growled at the morose giant, but he snarled back, and the mongrels retreated with tails tucked between their legs.

Uglúk divested himself of his armor and clothes and waded into the shallow water. It was freezing cold, but his hide was thick.

In the afternoon he had stolen a bar of soap from the kitchens and now he proceeded to scrub himself raw. Ducking under the water he washed his hair too. He had no comb; it took almost an hour to untangle his coarse mane with his fingers. With a thin leather cord, he pulled the upper portion of his hair together at the nape of his neck and let the rest tumble down to his waist.

Dripping with water and slightly shivering he sat at the bank of the pond and began to wash his only tunic and clean his leather armor. His eyesight at night was not as good as an orc's but it was still far superior to that of a man's. He became immersed in his task easily.

It was almost dawn by the time he finished.

-/-

The city of Edoras was bustling with activity from early morning.

Most of the guests – the remaining members of the revered Fellowship of the Ring included – had already arrived. The Golden Hall was packed with elves and the men of Gondor, even dwarves. In the passageways guards and handmaidens were rushing to and fro, attending to their tasks.

Uglúk had nothing to attend to, so he just sat in a shadowy corner of the Hall, brooding in silence, with a tankard of ale in his hand.

But because of who – or rather what – he was, his unsettling, piercing eyes followed every movement in front of him. His unblinking gaze catalogued every dagger, every sword, and every hand they belonged to. He stored every sound, every scent in the back of his mind to determine who those hands served.

Lambs and wolf. The monster in him was chuckling with grim amusement.

Then he saw her.

Elfleda arrived with her maid, both were carrying large bouquets of lilies. They began to arrange the flowers on the long wooden tables. She was smiling and talking kindly to everyone.

A dull sadness spread in Uglúk's chest.

He should stand up and leave. Spare her the sight of him.

But he didn't have it in him to move.

He was so fucking tired of resisting her beauty.

So, with a sigh, he just watched the morning light glinting on her silky hair.

He became so mesmerized, not even the monster in him noticed the pair of eyes scrutinizing him.

-/-

Uglúk knew he would suffer seeing her tonight, but he didn't have the faintest idea he would suffer this much.

He had been guarding the head table, towering a step behind Éomer's and Elfleda's chairs. He was black as night: his hair, his face, his armor. His heart. Like a rusty nail hammered into a yard of colorful silk.

He was watching his charge with gritted teeth.

Of course, she had to dance with every fucking snotty-nosed brat in attendance! She had to blush a rosy red at their inane compliments! She had to let them touch her waist, hold her hand!

The son of Aragorn-Elessar had his fourth dance with her and Elfleda was not opposed to the lad's attentions, Uglúk could tell. His cursed nose picked up the scent of her excitement and the beast in him was half-mad with jealous rage.

And Elfleda didn't look at him the whole time. Not even once.

The first time she acknowledged the Uruk's presence was when she returned to her seat and asked him:

"Do you think he finds me pretty?"

Many a sword had stabbed the Uruk in his life, but none of it caused the kind of pain he was suffering at that moment. His legs wanted to give way beneath him.

With a strength he didn't know he possessed, Uglúk replied.

"He would be blind if he didn't."

Every word felt like acid in his throat but judging by her smile he managed to say the right thing.

Elfleda was now looking up at him, blushing a little. She asked in a shy whisper:

"And you? Do you…?"

Something snapped in Uglúk.

"Fishing for compliments?" he snarled with an ugly sneer "Didn't you get enough already? Well, there is none from me!"

Quivering with rage and hurt the Uruk-hai turned away.

For a moment he saw her blanche, but he was past caring. He marched out of the Hall.