Jennie

Make that the last time you lie to me

What the fuck have you been doing

I wish I never met you

I want you to think of me every time he fucks you

What the fuck have you been doing

Your baby is fine

What the fuck have you been doing

Save Flick over me

…Kill Me

My eyes flew open as I gasped for air, and my hands immediately went around my neck. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. Why couldn't she let me breathe?! Safeword. What's my safeword? I couldn't say my safeword. My eyes widened as Lisa loomed in front of me, and I felt my legs flailing. Her face immediately filled with concern. She was talking. What was she saying? What was she saying?!

Her hands moved on top of mine, and her voice became clear. "Jennie. Let go of your neck." With a gentle, yet firm grip, she moved my hands from my neck and slowly sat me up.

I was frozen as I stared at her. She gently shook me. "Baby, breathe."

I finally gasped and out came a river of tears.

After a few deep breaths, my breathing started to return back to normal. Lisa's hands never stopped touching me, not once. I felt myself cringing with her touching me. I removed myself from her grasp. Her hands dropped, and her shoulders sagged.

"Can we talk?" She asked quietly.

I shook my head as I stared at my hands. "I need to get ready for class." That was a lie and we both knew it. She knew my schedule better than I did.

She gently grabbed my hand. "It's Thursday. You don't have class until eleven." Before I could reply, she continued. "We need to talk Jennie. You experienced sub drop, and you weren't aware of it. You were by yourself when it happened and..." She stood up and started pacing the room. Her face a mixture of anguish and sorrow. She abruptly stopped and faced me.

"I shouldn't have done that. That was a side of me that I haven't shown since..." Her voice cut off. "I saw the redness on your skin. Why didn't you tell me you started self-harming again?" I prevented myself from flinching as her voice started to rise and her hands clenched into fists. "We talked about that, Jennie. You come to me! Anytime you're having those thoughts again, you come to me!"

My eyes watered and I suddenly pushed her away from me as I got up from the bed. "It was an accident. I stood under the hot water longer than I should have, because I was soothing my muscles. You try carrying a diaper bag, a purse, a laptop, and a baby all at once. Because you haven't, I've been doing it all by myself while trying to keep up with classes!"

"Going back to school was your idea, Jennie. I told you from the start, I didn't want you doing that."

I sniffed, wiping a tear away. "Because I wouldn't have time for you. Because I wouldn't have time for your needs, right?"

Her brow furrowed as she stepped forward grabbing my shoulders. "No! Baby, no. I support you a hundred percent going to school. But you're trying to do it full-time and work full-time and be a full-time mom." She sighed as her head pressed against mine. "You're tiring yourself out.

"I need something for myself, Lisa. This is something for me. Something that I earned, all on my own without someone paying my way for it or just handing it to me."

She softly smiled. "Baby, you're the last person who's ever had anything handed to you. Everything you've ever had, you've worked for. I give everything I can to you now, because you deserve it." I tried to look away, but her hand under my chin stopped me. "I want to, and it's my right." Her voice was sterner.

"Besides," she spoke more softly. "You gave me something that's priceless. Two somethings in fact—you and our daughter." I felt myself tearing up. I could barely give her a daughter. She guided me to the bed and laid me down, and started to part my legs, but I quickly shut them.

"What are you doing?!"

Her face turned ashen. "I was really rough on you last night, and you bled quite a bit. I didn't even realize it, until I was done. I just thought you were really wet. I didn't get to check you over last night. She reached for me again, but I kept my legs closed. Rolling her eyes, she said, "I'm quite acquainted with your pussy, Jennie."

"But that's...different." I kept my knees together as she stared at me.

She sighed. "You can either let me do this, or I can tie you up."

I sharply exhaled. "You're ridiculous!"

"I know that, and you know that, so there's no reason to be surprised now, is there?" I fell back against the pillow as she slowly spread my knees apart. I laid there trying not to think about my wife all of a sudden turning into a doctor and examining me. I sighed as I peered down at Lisa's head, studying me like I was an exhibit.

"You're a little red. Any tenderness?"

I took a deep breath. "No, are you finished?" Asshole was probably enjoying this. Suddenly, I jerked as air was lightly blown on my clit. Her thumb began to lightly circle my clit. My head shot up. "Is that part of the exam?"

Her eyes met mine. "I'm just making sure you're not sensitive." I squirmed as her thumb rubbed faster, and she blew again. I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from moaning and sunk into my pillow. My eyes shot open when her tongue lightly flicked my clit. Before I had time to speak, the lightly flicking quickly turned into sucking.

"You can't fix us with sex, Lisa," I panted out. She rested her head on my thigh and sighed.

She was quiet for several minutes before she spoke. "So, we are broken?" It was rare when Lisa spoke with anything but determination. This time she spoke with doubt. As if she herself was unsure of anything for once in her life, and she almost didn't know what to do with those feelings.

I shut my eyes. Were we broken? What exactly was going on with us? One minute everything is fine and perfect, and the next minute, not so much. Has it always been like this, or were we just both blind, because we were so wrapped up in each other. "We're not broken Lisa, we're just…a little scratched." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "But, I don't want us to be scratched. I want us the way the way we were," I whispered.

She placed another kiss on the inside of my thigh before crawling her way up my body. "I love you so much, you know that, right?" I nodded as she wiped away a tear that fell. "You are my life, Jennie. I would do anything for you, you know that."

"What do you need that I'm not giving you?" I whispered it, because saying it aloud made me feel even more unsure.

Her body stilled at my question. "You give me everyth—"

I cut her off. "No, I don't. Not if that other side of you came out. What do you need? Do you need to…" My voice faded, as I met her gaze. "Do you need to hurt me?" I couldn't even say it above a whisper, because it felt so damning.

She quickly moved off of me, as if my words had scoured her skin. She sat back on her haunches with her hands on her thighs, shoulders sagged. "I don't need to hurt you," she finally whispered out. Before I could say anything else, she quickly moved off the bed and half mumbled, "I'll be back." The next sound I heard was the dinging of the elevator.

I was quiet as I stared at my hands, not even remotely sure what just happened.


Lalisa

It had been three days. Three days too fucking long, with us going around and around on the same fucking shit. Just when I thought we were going to come to an agreement, they reneged. I was exhausted and was this close to shutting the whole thing down. The only reason I hadn't already was because that's exactly what they wanted. And fuck no was I about to let them win.

"That is not what we agreed on, Mr. Reneux..."

I paused as the French translator kept talking to keep up with me. Normally I wouldn't need a fucking translator, but with my team here with me and them not knowing French, it was putting myself at a disadvantage. I shot an angry look at Chan for failing French in high school. Prick.

"I think what the problem is, the infrastructure. You want to give it the, um…" he paused looking for an English word. "American way." He waved his hand around, to my side of the table.

I rolled my eyes. "Cut the shit, Mr. Reneux." His eyes briefly widened. I turned to everyone in the room. "Could you all please give us the room?" Claudia and Chan looked at me questioning, and I waved them way. Once the room was cleared, I turned to Mr. Reneaux.

"Que diriez-vous de quoi s'agit-il vraiment? Pas de conneries, pas de traducteurs, seulement moi et toi." How about you tell me what this is really about? No bullshit, no translators, just me and you.

He sighed as he took a moment. "C'est la ville. Ils ne veulent pas qu'une société américaine ait une place sur leurs terres. Beaucoup de membres du conseil sont très anciens." It's the city. They do not want an American company to have a place on their land. A lot of the board members are very old school.

I started to speak but he continued. "Les cinq dernières entreprises qui ont été amenées, ont tous échoué. Dommageable Dommage. Ils ont tous promis exactement la même chose que vous faites. Qu'est-ce qui vous fait penser que vous êtes différent de l'un des autres?" The last five companies that were brought over, all failed. Damaging. They all promised the exact same thing you do. What makes you think you're any different than any of the others?

"Eh bien, c'est une question simple. Ces cinq dernières entreprises n'étaient pas les miens." Well, that's a simple question. Those last five companies weren't mine.

He smiled and shook his head. "Les mêmes promesses, ils ont aussi promis." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Que pouvez-vous promettre qu'ils ne l'ont pas fait? Que pouvez-vous fournir, pour leur faire savoir que vous êtes digne?" Same promises, they too promised. What can you promise that they didn't? What can you provide, to make them know you're worthy?

I grabbed a piece of paper and tore it off the tablet. I wrote down a few words, before glancing back up at Mr. Reneux. "Y at-il un notaire sur votre personnel, Monsieur?" Is there a notary on your staff sir?

His eyes gleamed as he pulled out his phone and sent a text. A few minutes later, a short red headed older woman entered the room.

"Monsieur?"

He pointed to me, and she walked over.

"Demande d'avoir ce notarisé s'il vous plaît?" Request to have this notarized, please?

She looked back to Mr. Reneux before taking the document and quickly read it over. I inwardly smiled as her eyes grew wide at my words. Mr. Reneux looked on curiously. He nodded to her, giving her permission to proceed. She pulled out her pen, and I watched as she carefully applied her signature to the document. She glanced up at me a few times, probably to make sure this was all legit. She finally placed her stamp.

I nodded my thanks as she slid the document back over to me and promptly left. I glanced down one last time at the paper before me then slid it across the table to Mr. Reneux. He took a look at it and a mask of shock took over his features.

I leaned forward. "Est-ce que nous avons d'autres préoccupations?" Do we have any other concerns?

He glanced up at me chuckling. "No, no concerns at all, Ms. Manoban."

We both got up and shook hands. I gave him one last nod, grabbed my briefcase, and exited the room.

"Holy fuck what'd you do?" Chan came walking up to me with Claudia by his side.

I shrugged, as I motioned for them to follow me out the front door. "I gave them an offer they couldn't refuse. But the good thing is the patent is ours and we will move forward with breaking ground."

We got in the awaiting car. "Thank fuck. I love Paris, but I am ready to go home," Chan said as he leaned his head back against the headrest. Chan continued talking as I checked my phone. I wanted to leave to head back home now. Even with video calls and texting, it wasn't enough.

"Fuck," I muttered.

Chan looked to me. "What is it? They fell through again?"

I shook my head. "I wish, that would've been easier to handle. We can't fly out until tomorrow because of the fog."

"Good."

I looked at Chan. "Good?"

"Yeah. We celebrate. We deserve it. We just spent three days in Paris and haven't had a bit of fun."

Claudia spoke up. "I agree. I could use a few drinks. Let my hair down."

I tried not to frown. "You two go ahead."

Chan moaned. "Lisa, come on! Will you live a little?"

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, all the while wondering just how dangerous was it to fly in fog. Surely they do it all the time. I jumped as an ice cube hit me.

"Four drinks."

I narrowed my eyes. "Two, now leave it."

He smiled, tipping his cup back, chewing more ice. Bastard.


Two hours later, I had gone down to the hotel bar. Claudia was sitting at the bar and waved me over. I briefly hesitated before making my way. "Where's Chan?"

She rolled her eyes. "He got a phone call from the girlfriend." She shrugged. "So, who knows if we'll ever see him again tonight."

Asshole. He gets a call from his girl and he's out. Course, I actually couldn't blame him. In fact, if Jennie called now, I would be upstairs, watching her make herself come. The thought was already making me hard. It was after nine p.m. here, so it was just after two there. I'm sure I can bother her, get her to stop whatever she's doing, and show me that pretty pink pussy.

"What'll you have?" Claudia looked to me, waiting for my reply.

"Um…Cognac."

Claudia smiled, raising two fingers to the bartender. "I like people that knows their brandy."

I didn't say anything as I took my drink then looked out at everyone else. Some were dancing, others having a late dinner. I checked my phone again to see if any messages from Jennie came in. I also took that opportunity to send a text to Chan, to let him know what a dick he was for bailing.

His response?

Chan: Pussy calls

Fucking prick. Truth be told, I was actually jealous.

"So how about it?"

I turned my attention back to Claudia. "I'm sorry?"

She rolled her eyes and pointed to the dance floor. "How about a dance?"

I looked to the dance floor and slowly shook my head. "I'm sorry, not tonight."

She studied me for a moment. "Why not? You need permission first or something?"

I silently laughed. "Not at all."

"Don't tell me because you're married, you can't do something as innocent as dancing?"

I drank the rest of my drink, and signaled for another. "No, but I'm also putting myself in the mindset that if an attractive man asked my wife to dance…would I like it?"

She moved closer. "So, you find me attractive?"

"You know you're attractive, Claudia. You don't need me telling you that. I'm assuming your partner tells you that."

She frowned. "I'm single."

I took a sip of the new drink I had. "Well, I'm sure you'll find someone."

She smiled wide. "I already have. She just doesn't know it yet." I watched as she placed a skinny straw in her Cognac and drank it like it was a goddamn vodka cranberry. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and smiled when I saw it was Jennie. Claudia started talking again, and I held my hand up to stop her.

"I'm sorry, I really have to take this. Excuse me."

I didn't wait for her to respond as I made my way to a quiet corner in the bar. I called Jennie back. She answered on the third ring, most likely for the sole purpose of making me wait. Fucking minx.

"Hey," she said breathlessly.

"Bad time?"

"Not for you. How's Paris?"

"Shitty without you. What are you doing?"

"Just came in from a late lunch."

"Yeah? Are you in your office?"

She giggled. "Yes."

"Good, take off your panties."

She whispered. "What makes you think I'm wearing any?"

I groaned. "Fuck baby, you're killing me."

She laughed. "I have a meeting, talk to you later?"

I sighed. "Of course. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I hung up, wishing I was there to really find out if she was wearing panties or not. I barely turned around and jumped when I saw Claudia standing right behind me, holding two drinks.

"I got you a refill. You looked stressed."

I looked at the drink she handed me a little wearily. It had a lime floating in it. I smelled it. Sure, as fuck wasn't tea. I held it up. "What is this?"

"It's called a Pepa. It's well known here. Combination of Cognac and Vodka." She waved her hand around as she sipped hers. "It's really good. Try it."

I smiled. "I said just two drinks tonight."

"So, you'll have three. Is it really so bad? Have three and then you're free to do anything you want." She gave me a smile before she slowly licked her lips.

I stared down into my drink. Fine. Three, then I can fucking leave. I sat at the nearest table and casually sipped my Pepa as Claudia kept glancing at me. "So, where are you from, Claudia?"

"That's a little hard to answer. We moved around a bit, but finally settled in Virginia, where my sole purpose in life was to get the hell out of there. I graduated high school, then went on from there."

I nodded and she raised her drink up. "Are you sure you don't want another?"

I stared down at my drink. I had drunk maybe half of it but already felt myself getting sleepy. I rubbed my eyes, and it took me a minute to register Claudia talking to me. "You look like you're ready for bed."

I shut my eyes tight for a second and then finally looked up at her, blinking a few times before she came into focus. "Yeah, maybe that jet lag is finally catching up with me." I shakily stood up, and Claudia rushed to my side.

"Whoa! I think someone can't hold their liquor." She wrapped her arm around my waist. "I'll help you to your room." I found myself leaning on Claudia as we made our way to the elevator. I watched her press the button for what I assumed was her floor. She didn't bother pressing the button for mine. I couldn't even lift my arm to press it. Maybe that drink was stronger than I thought. The elevator door stopped on her floor, and she helped me out. I tried telling her this wasn't my floor but nothing came out. At this point, I didn't even care. I would've been happy sleeping right here in the hallway.

"I just have to get something, and then I'll take you up." She spoke, at least I think she spoke, as she helped me to her room. "Come on. You can have a seat while I grab it."

I don't even think I had a seat, more like dived into her bed. The room started spinning, and everything became fuzzy. I'll shut my eyes for just a minute I told myself. Just a minute.