Holly realized three things in her groggy, barely awake state: she wasn't in the bed she shared with Ross, she wasn't alone and she was naked. She opened her eyes a little and saw Roger right next to her. He was wide awake and watching her. She reflexively jerked back. Now that she was completely awake, things started to come back to her.

"Jesus," she said. "Do you…do you do that often?"

"Look at you?"

"Watch me while I'm sleeping."

"You're just so beautiful." He reached out and ran a hand down her cheek.

"That's incredibly sweet but also so, SO creepy so if you could stop doing that, I would appreciate it."

She stretched and saw the clock. "We're about to be late to work. You need to go."

"Let's play hooky." He gave her his most charming smile. "We can go do something fun. Or we can stay here and do something even more fun."

She grinned in spite of herself. "We can't do that. We can't both call out sick at the last minute. People will talk."

"You're insane if you think that everyone at the station doesn't already know. I guarantee you that within ten minutes of you leaving Alex's, half the town found out."

She rolled from her side onto her back, groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Today's going to be awful."

"Yeah. That's why we should postpone it until tomorrow."

"What, you think that sometime between now and tomorrow morning, something even juicier will happen? Something that doesn't involve either of us?"

He shrugged. "Probably not. But we'd have a really good day."

She stared up at the ceiling, considering it.

"C'mon, just be irresponsible with me." He kissed her shoulder.

She laughed. "Fine! Fine." She got up and walked over to the phone. She put it on the bed and picked up her robe from the corner, where it had gotten tossed the night before.

"They can't see you," Roger protested as she put it on.

She arched an eyebrow, then picked up the phone again and dialed the station's newsroom.

"WSPR."

"Hi, it's Holly. I'm taking a personal day today. I don't have any meetings scheduled, so I'll just see everyone tomorrow."

She hung up and then passed the receiver out to Roger. "Your turn. I'm going to take a shower."

"This won't take long; wait for me."

She laughed and went into the bathroom to turn on the water.

She heard him calling the station to say he wasn't coming in. It sounded like they were giving a hard time because she had also called out. She shrugged out of her robe and went to the door. Roger was still on the phone, so Holly smirked, tossed the robe at his feet and then went back to the shower to check the water temperature. It was perfect so she stepped in and waited, starting to count in her head. He was in the room before she had reached three and in the shower before five.

"You don't play fair, you know that?" he said, kissing her.

"I actually DO know that, yeah."

He laughed and moved to touch her when there was a noise outside.

"Did someone knock on the front door?" she asked. Roger shrugged.

"I'm going to go see. Stay here. And be quiet. I mean it."

She turned off the water, then stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself.

She wasn't hearing things and there was a second knock.

"One second!" she called.

She went and opened the door. "God, please not Ed," she thought but of course that's who it was.

He immediately averted his eyes. "Really, you couldn't put on a robe?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone and I had just gotten into the shower. What's up, Ed?"

"I was wondering if you were going to go look for a place to live today."

"Yes. It's one of the first things on my to do list. I took the day off work, so I'm getting a bit of a later start than usual and then my shower got interrupted, but I'm hoping to finish and get going soon."

She realized that he had stopped looking around the room but was still avoiding the sight of her in a towel. She followed his eyes and saw that there was a pile of clothes on the floor by the foot of the bed that were slightly visible. They were clearly men's clothes.

"Is someone else here?"

She didn't say anything.

"Goddamnit, Holly. Did you bring Roger here?"

"I didn't bring anyone here!" she said, then sighed. "That's semantics. Yes. Roger is here."

"I can't believe you!" Ed seethed. "You know Ross and I are friends. This is really unforgivable, Holly."

"Oh, come on, Ed. You're being ridiculous. Ross made it very clear that he didn't want to continue our engagement."

"I know it hasn't been a full day, but has it even been 12 hours?"

Holly eyed the clock and could feel herself blushing. It had barely been 10 hours.

"That's what I thought."

"If you feel like leaving, I'll finish getting ready. I don't want to stay here any more than you want me here."

He scoffed and turned around to go.

"Really?" Holly hissed. "Can you not pick a fight? This whole situation is stressful enough without your help."

Ed looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. You seem broken up about all of it."

He opened the door and then paused.

"Really brave of you to hide in the bathroom, Roger," he said, making sure he was loud enough so Roger would definitely hear him.

Holly slammed the door.

"I don't know what you ever saw in that guy," Roger said, opening the bathroom door; he was still naked and hadn't bothered with a towel.

"Yeah, I don't, either," she said. "I'm so angry right now."

He reached over and tugged at the towel. "Don't let him spoil our day. We were right in the middle of something earlier. I think we can finish that and then, yeah, let's go apartment hunting."

She managed to grab the towel before it dropped and she re-secured it. "Nice try, but no, let's go find me a place to live and then we can do something fun. ANYTHING fun, really. But first, let's make sure I don't have to stay here for too much longer."

"Okay," he said, with a mock pout. "We can get breakfast and go over the listings in the paper while we eat. I need to get a place, too; I'm pretty sure Alex has already had my things destroyed."

Holly laughed as she pulled on clothes.

"Well, maybe you'd be lucky. She might've only thrown them out."

He glanced over and said, "Maybe, but my money's on a bonfire."

"That sounds more like Alex, yeah."

She looked over at Roger and said, "You ready?"

"Yeah, let's go. Do you want to take your car or mine?"

"We should drive separately, right?"

"If we're spending the day together, that makes no sense. Let's just take mine. It's only a couple blocks away."

She grabbed her keys and said, "Mine's right outside. I don't mind driving."

They didn't talk much as she drove to the diner. They bought two copies of the Springfield Journal and sat down on opposite sides of the table as they started scanning for apartments.

Nadine came over to give them coffee and menus.

"Thanks," Holly said, taking a sip of hers.. She must've irritated Nadine somehow, because she barely acknowledged her and walked away.

"Why don't we just move in together?" Roger said, and Holly choked on her coffee.

"Is it that ridiculous of an idea?" he asked, looking annoyed.

"Yes!" she said. "We're…Roger, we're not anywhere near that point. We're not even dating. We're two people, recently single, who are sleeping together. I mean, Jesus Christ, Roger. No, we're not moving in together. I shouldn't even have to tell you it's a silly idea."

"If we're two people who are sleeping together, why not make it easier to keep doing it?"

"This is making me want to stop doing it. You just have to keep pushing all the time. Why can't anything ever be enough for you?"

He started to respond when suddenly Mindy Lewis appeared.

Holly greeted her but Mindy ignored it. "Roger, we need to talk."

"I'm in the middle of something. I'll call you later."

Holly, who had gone back to circling prospective apartments, didn't look up when she said "This sounds important; my feelings won't be hurt if you go talk to Mindy."

"I'll call you later," he repeated.

"I'm having this conversation now," she said, her voice shaking. "It's up to you if Holly's part of it or not."

Holly scooted closer to the wall. "Sit down; have breakfast with us," she said.

Roger kicked her under the table.

"Do that again and I'll kick you back," Holly said.

"This is a personal conversation and I don't want to have it out here, where anyone can hear."

Holly put her pen down and looked up. "Then you should've gone with Mindy when she asked you to." She sighed. "It's clear that you two are sleeping together."

Mindy looked at her in shock. "Did he tell you?"

Holly laughed, but felt horrible when Mindy's face fell.

"I'm sorry; I'm not laughing at you. And no, he didn't tell me. He didn't have to. It's just…I'm old enough to know that when women are that annoyed with Roger and that determined to speak to him alone? It's because he's having sex with them and he's done something wrong. Generally it's that he disappears without warning, which I'm guessing is what happened here. I speak from personal experience and also as someone who's seen a lot of these conversations from afar. There should be a support group."

"I'm glad you find this funny," Roger said, glaring at her.

"I don't," Holly said. "You hurt people and that's not funny. I was laughing at the idea of you telling anyone anything they would need to know. You suggested we move in together and you're clearly involved with Mindy."

"You're angry, is that it?" he demanded.

"No. We don't owe each other anything. We had fun last night. I needed that after the day we had. But…we're never going to work as anything serious because you aren't careful with other people. We're all just background players in the Roger Thorpe show and that's not a great place to be."

"I'm sorry, can I talk now?" Mindy interrupted. "There's a conversation I need to have and I'm not really interested in the voice of experience or whatever you think you're being right now."

Holly shrugged and picked her pen up, turning her attention back to the apartment listings. "Have at it."

"I'm late," Mindy told Roger.

"Then why did you demand to talk right now?" It took a second but it clicked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Her voice was full of loathing. Holly could've pointed out that no one started this conversation unless they were already almost positive but Mindy had made it clear it wasn't her battle.

"So I guess we need to make an appointment to be sure. Do you want me to go with you?"

"Are you asking me to get an abortion?" Mindy sounded furious.

"No!" he said, his voice hurt. "I'm saying we need to find out for sure if you're pregnant. By going to the doctor and getting her to confirm it. I love Chrissy; I would love to have another child."

Holly kept her eyes glued to the apartment listings. She had initially felt horrible for Mindy but now she realized she was feeling something else: a little bit of jealousy. This is the life she had expected to have with Ross, but she'd ruined that for herself. Not quite this life, granted—she wouldn't have had to track Ross down to tell him and she wouldn't have had to ask how he felt, but the idea of maybe having a baby with Ross? It wouldn't have been the worst idea.

She saw a promising ad and circled it. It was a two-bedroom house, a little bit out of town, but not so far as to be unreasonable. She had planned to get an apartment but the house wasn't too much more expensive. And maybe it would be nice to have her own space. She had lived alone before, but never for too long. She had Blake, obviously, but also she was generally with someone. It would be a good change of pace, she thought.

She realized something—she was completely single, with no prospects. This was the first time in a long time that that had been true. She didn't want Roger, but especially not if he and Mindy were having a baby. And after the way that Ross had treated her, she didn't want to get back together with him. She and Ed constantly seemed to kind of move in and out of each other's orbits, with one of them vaguely interested at any given time, but she didn't appreciate the way he had spoken to her, either.

She dropped her pen as it occurred to her that for all her theories that her taste in men had improved and that she now wanted a "nice guy," that she kept dating the same man anyway. Ed and Ross had the veneer of kindness that let her think that she had made progress, but they reacted the same way Roger did if they were disappointed in her or angry at her: they lashed out and were cruel. She hadn't learned anything, really. She didn't make better choices so much as she made the appearance of better choices.

Well, THAT wasn't great.

"HOLLY. Did you want something?" It was Nadine, and from her tone of voice, she'd asked that question at least four times.

"No," she said, mentally shaking herself. "I'm sorry, Nadine. I'm okay."

Roger stared at her, then shook his head. "Any luck?"

She must have looked completely lost because he sighed. "The apartment search?"

"Yeah, I have a decent lead. I'm going to call the Realtor later today."

"Well, I hope it pans out. We're going to try and get a doctor's appointment today."

"That's great." Holly looked over at Mindy. "It sounds like you're making my daughter into a big sister, so if there's anything I can do…grocery runs or whatever, please let me know."

"I would prefer you stop sleeping with Roger. That would be a good start," Mindy said.

"We both knew that he was married to Alexandra, so I don't think either of us can throw stones here," Holly said. "But if I had known that he was also sleeping with you, I would've kept my distance. I'm not particularly fond of being the other woman and this is my first time being the OTHER other woman, and I like it even less."

"What's going on with you?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm trying to break old patterns and be a better person. I don't…I don't want to be the person who schemes to get what she wants like I did with Alex in Acapulco. I don't want to keep making these same mistakes over and over and being surprised when it doesn't work."

She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. Her biggest problem, she thought, was that she didn't know what she wanted. She remembered what Roger had told her in Acapulco about how she wanted him until she didn't and hated him until she didn't. It was true about him and about other areas in her life, too.

"I've sort of come to some hard realizations about myself and I don't like them. So it's time to make some changes, I think."

She saw Roger and Mindy exchange a glance and then look back at her.

"Well, anyway, congratulations," she said, smiling at them. "Good luck when Alex finds out. I'm going to go find myself a place to live."

Mindy stood up and Holly grabbed her bag and the paper, then slid out of the booth. "Oh, also, Mindy, I was Roger's ride, so you're going to have to take him to get his car."

"I told her I should've driven," Roger said.

"So you could've ditched me here on your way to the doctor? No thanks." She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Congratulations, Rog. Seriously."

She walked over to the door, put on her sunglasses and stepped outside. The day was brimming with possibilities all of a sudden.

Her good mood continued. She was able to get a tour of the little house and she fell in love with it. The Realtor said there hadn't been much interest and the seller wanted it handled, so if she was willing to make an offer, it could be hers.

She was and she could move in as early as the next week.

Everything felt possible all of a sudden, and Holly enjoyed the feeling. She realized she couldn't quite remember the last time she'd felt so…hopeful.