Holly had started to prepare part of a speech in her head while she was driving, but it all vanished when she saw Roger.

She got out of her car and walked over. He was about to say something but she said, "Can I go first?"

He nodded, and she took a deep breath.

"I…God, this is hard. Why is this so hard?"

"Whatever it is, just say it. It can't be that bad."

"I don't think it's bad at all," she said.

"Then definitely say it. I could use something good."

She looked at the ground for a second and then back up at Roger.

"I want you."

His eyes widened and he looked like he had been hit.

"I'm not asking for a relationship. I think we'd both have to be very open with each other about what that would be like, and I'm not okay with only being on the outskirts of your life. And I think a lot of our problems together stem from the fact that we always seem to try to have everything. But when we're together, we have fun. I haven't always been good at letting myself just…be, I guess, and you always manage to convince me to do things I wouldn't generally do and I don't regret those decisions."

He smirked and she hit his shoulder. "I specifically mean when I called out sick after Alexandra told Ross."

"Oh sure," he said, laughing. "That's exactly what I thought you meant."

"I think we're good for each other. And I think that if we try not to put unreasonable demands on each other, we could be great for each other. So. What do you think?"

"I think this is the best offer I've had in my entire life."

"That might be overselling it a tad," she said, laughing.

"Nope," he said. He ran a hand down her cheek and then kissed her. "Getting to do this whenever I want? What's better than that?"

"I mean, I can think of a couple things." She paused. "What were you going to tell me?"

"Nothing important. Certainly nothing on that scale."

"Are you sure? You came over and sat on my porch for however long for no real reason?"

"I wanted to see you."

She smiled. "Here I am."

She unlocked the door and gestured for him to go on in.

Once they were inside, she said, "I don't think I have much in the way of food in here. I meant to go grocery shopping but time got away from me. We could go get takeout. Are you hungry?"

"I just want you."

She laughed. "Well, I have good news for you then."

She leaned against the closed front door and he kissed her again.

"We were in a hurry last time," he said, slowly unbuttoning her blouse and kissing his way down her neck. "I want to take my time now."

He didn't move to take off her bra; she reached to do it herself and he shook his head.

"We've got all night," he murmured, running his hand up her thigh.

His hand moved away but then went around to her back. He moved closer to her, then pulled her tightly against him. Just as quickly, he moved away again,unbuttoned her pants, then slowly slid the zipper down. She moved away from the door and stepped out of her shoes.

He was still fully dressed and she was just in her bra and underwear. Her body was covered in goosebumps.

"Please," she whispered.

He picked her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. She buried her face in his shoulder and he turned and carried her into the bedroom.

After, she debated whether to talk more about…whatever this was. She didn't regret her last minute decision to ask for a friends with benefits type relationship. Maybe it would evolve into more and maybe not but either way, right now, she wanted a less complicated life. She knew that this was the easiest way to guarantee that outcome.

He sat up and moved to get dressed.

"You're welcome to stay if you want," she said, trying to sound casual.

"I have an early morning tomorrow," he said. He leaned over and kissed her. "This whole week is pretty busy."

"No problem," she said. "We aren't…you know, dating. Call when you're free. If I'm available, come on over."

She got up and pulled on clothes, then walked him out. Something felt off but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. She also considered the possibility that it was just her not being used to being direct and then getting what she wanted, possibly coupled with guilt at just wanting sex from Roger.

She didn't see him much that week, but it was an unusually busy week for her, too. He did come over for the weekend, and things felt more normal then. He came over early Saturday and stayed until Sunday afternoon.

At her therapy appointment, she explained the current situation.

"It's good. And I'm probably seeing him the perfect amount. He has his life and I have mine but there are occasional visits. And a weekend sleepover."

"So you've decided against pursuing a relationship?"

"At least for now. I want to see how we do with this. And it's good so far. We're having fun, and that's not something I've been good at, historically speaking."

At work the next morning, Roger caught her when she was coming in. "Are you free tonight?"

"Nope. I have plans."

She, Maureen and Vanessa had book club and it was Holly's turn to host.

"Can't you cancel?" he asked, pouting. "I need you."

"I could, probably, but I won't. How's tomorrow? I don't have anything then."

"It'll have to be good enough."

He glanced around the parking lot and, seeing they were alone, kissed her.

"I definitely don't want anyone at work to know about us so no more parking lot kisses," she said.

"Ugh, fiiiiiiiiiiine," he said. "Could we at least take a long lunch?"

"No!" she laughed. "We work with journalists. They will definitely figure things out if we give them any hints at all. Like, say, disappearing for half the afternoon."

He shook his head sadly. "You're killing me."

She looked around; they were still alone. She gave him a long, lingering kiss. "I think you'll survive. Now go away. I mean it; I don't want to be workplace gossip."

"I'll work late in case you can make time for me after all," he said. "I hope you can."

After work, she stopped to get food and wine for book club, then hurried home to finish getting ready.

Maureen and Vanessa arrived promptly at 7.

"Hi! Come in, come in. I hope you're hungry; I think I overdid it on food."

"I am!" Maureen said, laughing.

"I am, too. And tonight is going to be my last chance to actually eat for a while."

"Why?" Holly asked.

"Yes, why?" Maureen asked. "Vanessa said something big is happening but wouldn't say what because she wanted to save it until we were all together."

"It's juicy and trust me, you're going to be glad you found out this way. I just found out there's going to be a wedding soon."

"That's exciting!" Maureen said.

"It is! Who's getting married?" Holly asked.

"Mindy. And I shouldn't even really be involved with it; it should be Nadine's problem now since Billy and I split up. But I do love Mindy and she asked for help with the wedding. I guess Nadine can't be trusted to handle it on her own, which certainly feels true."

Holly suddenly felt sick. "I didn't know she was seeing anyone. Is it new?"

"Sort of? I think. She's being sort of cagey with the details. It's not too surprising really. And Billy is definitely close to losing it."

Holly looked at Maureen, who was also looking very ill at ease.

"Who's she marrying?" Maureen asked.

"Oh, the literal last person anyone should marry. Can't you guess?"

"Roger." Holly said.

"Got it in one," Vanessa said. "It's my job to plan the wedding and help Mindy and Nadine's job to keep Billy from murdering Roger. I think my part in it is going to be a lot easier."

"When did he propose?"

"Last weekend. From what I understand, they got in a huge fight and broke up and he disappeared. Mindy realized how much she loved him and tracked him down somehow and they had this big discussion and he proposed. She said it was so romantic."

She paused and looked at Holly. "Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick."

"I think I might have food poisoning," she said.

She was sure Maureen could guess what was really happening, but she hadn't told her about Roger and Mindy. She was sure Ed had mentioned that he had caught Roger with her in the garage apartment, but Maureen had never mentioned it. And Holly hadn't told either of them about the fact that she and Roger had slept together a handful of times…and since he had proposed, too.

All of a sudden, Holly felt furious.

"I'm sorry, can we…can we reschedule for later in the week? I don't think I'll be good company and in case it's not food poisoning, I don't want to get either of you sick."

"Of course," they both said, and Maureen offered to stay if Holly needed help.

"I'm fine," she assured her and smiled. She was pretty sure it looked more like a grimace but it worked and they both left. She was pretty sure that Vanessa would correctly assume that she was upset to hear that Roger was getting married, and it made her want to punch him in the face for putting her in this position.

She called the station and he answered.

"Hi, it's me."

"I was hoping you'd call!" he said. He sounded so happy to hear her voice and it made Holly even angrier.

"Great," she said, trying to sound happy. "Can you come over? Now? I changed my plans and I need you."

"On my way and I will break every traffic law known to man," he said with a laugh.

"Great. See you soon."