Goddamn, that was an emotional chapter to write.


Lorelai walked around the house to go in through the back door. The house felt unusually quiet, and even Paul Anka seemed in no hurry to disturb the silence. He greeted her as she entered the kitchen, placing his head under Lorelai's hand. She gently ruffled his ears, and started getting Paul Anka's dinner ready. Every sound sounded louder than it should have, so Lorelai took her time and tried to make little noise as possible. As though it were a spell, and at the slightest noise, it would break and the reality monster she had successfully been avoiding all day would awaken.

After feeding the dog, she went to the fridge, staring at it's contents before shutting it again, and heading to the living room for the phone. She wasn't ready to deal with the mess she and Rory had left in there, so she tried to ignore it. But she stopped short when she saw the clothes strewn over the couch that hadn't fit in Rory's suitcase, and the left out leftovers of their midnight snack on the coffee table.

Lorelai sighed, and started to clean up the food at least. She wasn't even surprised at this point that Paul Anka hadn't even attempted to touch the chili-cheese cheetos. She picked up the "world's greatest reporter" hat she'd gotten for Rory. Maybe she could find a place for it on Rory's Yale dreamboard, but for now she set it back down where it had been left.

On her way back to the kitchen, she glanced out of habit into Rory's open bedroom door. She caught a glance the stack of research that she and Rory had done for their rollercoaster tour, sitting on Rory's desk, forgotten. Several theme park brochures, maps, and lists of the best roller coasters in the country. Tears started welling in her eyes as she remembered.


Lorelai woke when she heard the sound of feet pounding up the stairs, followed by Rory's gentle frantic knocking on Lorelai's bedroom door.

"Com'in." She muttered, and the door opened a crack.

"Mom?" Rory whispered. "Can I..."

Lorelai pulled back the covers, and Rory ran over. They tucked the blanket around themselves and snuggled close, just like they had when they were still living in the potting shed.

"Bad dream?" Lorelai whispered.

Rory shook her head.

"Just missed me?"

Rory nodded.

Lorelai hugged her. "I know things are different now, babe. It's a big change. But I can promise that no matter what, I'll always here if you need me. This is our home now, and I'm always gonna be here."


There had somehow always been this naive assumption in Lorelai's heart that Rory would always be there. That Rory was the only thing that Lorelai could rely on in life, and vice versa. And while in someways that was very true, she suddenly realized that being here for someone, and being there for someone were two different things.

Rory would always be there, but she wouldn't always be here.

All as once, the walls that she'd spent the day building came crashing down. Lorelai tried to hold it together long enough to get a hold of Luke, and in spite of the fact that it went to voicemail, she could not stop the torrent of words that streamed from her mouth.

"Luke, are you there? I- I'm sorry if I'm waking you up, it's just you said it was okay to call late, and... I need you." She sobbed once, but tried to hold back the rest. "I really need you. I'm not... I'm not okay, and I hate feeling like this because, it's really great that Rory got a job and she's following her dream. And I know that she's not really gone forever, she'll be back, but I thought we'd have more time, and the house is quiet and I'm sitting here sobbing like an idiot looking at the... the stacks of brochures and print outs of theme park maps and… I think it's only really hitting me now that she's really gone, and… it just feels like nothing's ever going to be the same.

"And I know that we haven't really had a conversation yet about where we are as couple but I need you. I need my... my best friend, so can you please just come here and- and sit with me for a while? I know I asked you that before and then I made you leave but I promise I won't do that this time, and I promise not to break into your apartment and steal the tape, I swear." She laughed at this in spite of her tears. "I'm babbling, so just, um... call me back when-"

"Lorelai?"

She choked back another sob. "Luke?"

"I'm here." He said hurriedly. "I woke up when I heard your message, but I couldn't find the- Nevermind. I'm on my way."

"Okay." She answered, but he'd already hung up.

In what seemed like no time at all, there was a knock on the door, and Lorelai rushed to answer it. As soon as she saw Luke, she half leapt toward him and crumpled herself into Luke's arms. He instinctively wrapped them around her protectively, holding her close, and just letting her cry. After a few moments, he spared a glance to Babette's house, and realized that the last thing Lorelai needed right now was an audience.

Without letting go of her, he slowly maneuvered the both of them just inside the door, shutting behind them away from the world. He swayed her slightly, and carded a hand through her hair, and her heart-wracking sobs slowly subsided.

He would have stood there for hours, except that a old familiar pain in Luke's leg started to return. He tried shifting his weight to his other leg, leaning on the door behind him for extra support. Neither of these things helped, and winced noticeably as another electric shot of pain shot up and down his leg. This didn't escape Lorelai's attention. She pushed herself away slightly to look at him. "Luke? You okay?"

"It's fine. Let's just... Let's move this to the couch." He pushed away from the door to move, only to wince and lean back against the door once more, clutching at the pain in his leg. "Ah, I should've stretched first."

It finally dawned on Lorelai what had happened. "Oh my god, did you run here?"

"Uh... yeah."

"What do you need, ice, advil, Ace bandage?"

"Couch first."

"Right!" Lorelai wrapped her arm around his back and helped him into the living room.

"Luke, why did you do that?" She asked as she helped to settle him onto the couch. "I was barely off the phone when you knocked on the door, it takes longer than that to start your truck. God, you must have sprinted here. How did you do that? Why did you do that?"

"You said you needed me. And..." His voice wavered a little. "I might've needed you too."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiled back, kinda sheepishly.

Lorelai looked down for a moment, as if unsure what to say. Then he mood swiftly changed, turning her attention to Luke. "What do you need for your leg?"

"Just some ice would be fine."


After propping up Luke's leg with some pillows and an icepack on the coffee table, Lorelai plopped down on the couch next to him, exhausted. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and pulled her closer until her head was resting on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

"Pathetic. Needy. Clingy."

"You are not pathetic. You're not any of those things."

"Yes, I am. My kid's left home before. She went to college, for god's sake. She's left the continent, and I was fine. We fought and she lived at my parents house for months, and I was- alright, so I wasn't fine, but I could hide it!

"But she graduates college and gets a job and leaves and now it feels like-" Lorelai started tearing up again. "God, it feels like I'm never going to see her again. I miss her. It's too soon, it's too-"

Lorelai curled up and leaned into Luke, who held her closer as silent sobs wracked her body. He tried to clench his jaw to prevent his own breakdown. He had resolved to stay strong for Lorelai, but eventually, it all became too much, and he started tearing up as well. After a while when they'd calmed back down, they just sat there together in silence. Paul Anka came in, and rested his head on Luke's good leg. Luke absent-mindedly placed his hand on the dog's head.

Finally though, Lorelai finally spoke up. "Luke, what are we doing?"

"What?"

"I've just been sitting here, thinking, and you're here, and I… I'm grateful that you're here, but… what are we doing? Are we… I don't know, are we back together, or are we just friends, or testing the waters? I don't know."

"Okay, we're doing this now." He muttered.

Lorelai sat up and faced him. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, it means nothing."

"What, you haven't been thinking about this?"

"Of course I've been thinking about this! It's been hard to think about anything else! I just thought you'd need a little more time to process… everything. Rory, us…"

"I don't need time!"

"Really?"

"Okay, yes, I need time, but that's future time." She explained. "That's time that going to happen anyway because that's the way it works. But this, right here, us… I need to know where we stand because, I want this, and I think you do too but I need to hear you say it. I need to hear that you say you want this too, and then we-we need to figure out how fast we want to jump back into things, and… and…"

She took a breath and looked at him. "You're not saying anything."

"I was waiting for you to be done, cause I wanted say something and I wanted you to hear me." He raised his eyebrows at her expectantly.

She took another deep breath, calming herself. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I want this, Lorelai." He assured her. "I really want this."

She took another deep breath, visibly relaxing. "Okay. Good."

He looked at her curiously. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"I don't know, there's just a lot of self-doubt up here," she said, pointing at her head. "And I just needed to hear it."

"Okay."

There was a silence for awhile.

"So where does that leave us?"

"I thought-"

"No, I know that, but are we dating? Are we just testing the waters? Starting over?"

"We're…" Luke tried to answer her question. "I don't know."

Lorelai huffed and sat back against the couch cushions. "Me either. I mean, we can't just jump in where we were, can we? Too much has happened. But this isn't nothing either, it's…"

"It's pretty permanent." He glanced over at her. "I mean, I think it's-"

"Yes, yes it is." She said hurriedly.

He smiled. "Good."

"Now we just have to find a way to keep it that way." She turned to him. "Got any ideas on how to make that happen?"

Luke stared contemplatively at the empty fireplace.

Lorelai watched him as he thought. She wondered what was going on in his mind. He was so hard to read sometimes. She studied his features trying to get a clue, but he had an excellent poker face. All the while her own mind was racing. Would they make it? Did Luke think they could make it? Had he forgiven her? Should he forgive her? And if they couldn't make it work-

Luke's words interrupted her thoughts.

"I've had a lot of time to think over the last year." He finally said. "Got my head straight about some stuff. And one of things I keep coming back to is that we weren't open enough. We probably didn't talk like we should have, and sure as hell not as much as we should have. I think... I was so terrified of losing you that I kept things from you that I thought could ruin what we had, which ended up being the thing that drove us apart."

Lorelai chewed on her lip thoughtfully. She'd been guilty of the same thing, acting impulsively and then hiding it from Luke. Especially when it came to Chris. She wasn't about to let that happen again, she resolved. Her voice was delicate and quiet as she spoke, catching all of Luke's attention.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"It has to stick this time, right? I mean, I don't think we could stand another breakup. Not like that. Not ever."

He smiled at her ruefully. "Glad to see we're on the same page."

"So we just have to make this work." She tried to smile back at him, but faltered. Her voice shook as she spoke. "We have to."

"Come 'ere." Luke placed his hand on her face, and guided her lips to his, and held her there firmly, kissing her tenderly, trying to show her how much he wanted this too. The kiss lasted only a few moments, but it had the desired effect. She smiled at him as she pulled away, her doubts put aside, at least for the moment.

He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "We'll make it work."

She nodded. She curled up next to him once again, his arm wrapping around her. "Do you wanna stay the night?"

"Well-"

"Not for that." Lorelai said quickly. "I don't know that we're…"

"Neither do I." Luke said.

"I just meant, with your leg, and it's late-"

"Oh." Luke said. "Well, that's… not a bad idea actually."

"I mean you don't have to."

"Well, I'm not very fond of the idea of walking home right now."

"If you really wanted to go home, I could drive you." Lorelai offered.

Luke shook his head, holding her tighter. "No. This is better."

"Okay, good." She looked over at him. "God, this is so weird. You, me, here. Again."

"I thought you said it wasn't weird."

"It's not, it's just you and me, and the getting back together, and this whole last year, and… I love you being here. I missed you."

He smiled at her. "Well, I missed you too. But why is that weird?"

"Because… because this is the third time we're doing this again."

"It is not."

"It is too."

"Is it?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Well, you know what they say, third time's the charm."

"Oh, how romantic."

"Hey, you fell in love with someone you called a "mountain man". You were never in it for the romance."

"You're right." She said with a sigh. "Just the ruggedly handsome good looks."

"And coffee."

"And coffee. And pie."