Here's a surprise: the final team MILF chapter. Yeah, it's the end of a (very short lived) era, folks. This omake has gone on the longest in the entire story, which is impressive since it wasn't even planned to have a single chapter till someone suggested the idea of MILF Maidens.
Some people have expressed interest in more chapters after this, or even making its own story, but really? I have no idea where to go from here. Team MILF was only ever supposed to be a oneshot and I had to come up with new ideas to make these three new chapters. By the end of this chapter I'd say I pretty definitively ended it.
On a different note, there's actually a pretty even split on those who want Fem!Jaune and Fem!Mercury. Weird, I thought the latter would win by a landslide. Oh well.
Blake Belladonna considered herself a logical and sensible person. You kind of had to be if you wanted to survive in a group like team RWBY. She loved her team, she really did, but they so often got into trouble. Like that time in the docks. Yes, she was the one who ran off, but Weiss was the one who decided to be racist and she very much had everything under control when she decided to assault Roman Torchwick and an entire White Fang group with no one but Sun as backup. Ruby was the one who decided to start slicing up Bullheads with a robot girl.
And then there was partner. Yang was a lot of things, many of them positive, but the girl had no off switch. Yang needed someone like her to pull her back and keep her from just trashing half of Vale to win a barfight. That was how their partnership worked and they both liked it that way/
Of course, Blake was mature enough to admit that she'd made her own fair share of mistakes. She'd joined a violent terrorist group at twelve and got into a relationship with Adam Taurus, both equal in the scale of horrible decisions, but she had good reasons! At the very least you could understand why she did what she did. She was, after all, a creature of logic, and back then she'd simply made an...error in judgement. That was all it was.
Blake was left pondering her knowledge and maturity as she stepped into team RWBY's dorm room. She was used to her friends' idiosyncrasies - see? she was smart - as she looked at each of them in turn. Weiss was rocking back and forth on her bed, muttering to herself about how headpats weren't worth a father younger than her older sister...then she started arguing that it wouldn't be so mad for unlimited headpats on demand. Then back to arguing the opposite point.
Yang was pacing around the room looking more panicked than she'd ever seen her. Like Weiss she was muttering to herself, though her words were fare more curse laden and she looked like she was on the verge of having a crying panic attack. Blake would've comforted her if she was sure that her partner wouldn't punch her out of instinct. Yang tended to get punchy when she was stressed.
Ruby was the most calm and mature in the threesome, which was another sign of how bad things were. The cloaked reaper was lying down on her bunk bed, legs swinging and humming a soft tune to herself. It would've been a normal scene if she wasn't writing on a notebook titled 'Dad things to do with Jaune'.
...
"I'm back," Blake said as she closed the door behind her. She'd been looking forward to seeing her team again after the long weekend and this was the last thing she was expecting. Though, she did have an idea as to why, "...I'm guessing Jaune went to visit your places."
Weiss was the first to speak, "Yes, we had dinner and mother...made her intentions clear." Weiss coughed, trying to look like she was still in control, "I disagreed vehemently, of course, but then..." she trailed off and rubbed her own head before despondently muttering about how it 'just wasn't the same'. Huh, weird.
"Yeah, well, mom and Raven decided they wanna get into Jaune's pants!" Yang screamed, blunt as always, "Seriously, they were practically eye fucking the entire time we were on Patch! And after he got that haircut..." Yang shuddered. She'd seen Jaune's new haircut herself. It wasn't very flattering on him, but she didn't think it was that bad. Mom said he looked handsome. Then again she was also dating Ruby and Yang's uncle, so maybe mom just had poor taste.
And no, she didn't care that her mom was dating Qrow Branwen, despite Yang's earlier teasing. Her mom was an adult, she could date who she wanted.
"You seem calm about this," Blake turned to Ruby.
"Eh, mom gets what she wants, I figured it was better to get it out of the way." Ruby shrugged, "That and Jaune's pretty cool. We like the same things, and after I stopped doing the 'normal' stuff like playing catch or having him teach me how to ride a bike, we actually did way more fun stuff. We're gonna go to the comic-con coming up next week and then that new video game showcase. It's gonna be great."
"You don't find it weird to have a stepdad just four years older than you?"
"Dad died when I was too young to really remember him. Don't really know what's good or bad when it comes to this stuff." Well, that was depressing.
"It's still weird!" Yang shouted, "Jaune's still a student and he's literally young enough to be their kid!"
"He's younger than Winter," Weiss added needlessly.
"Well..." Blake sat down and crossed one leg over the other. She sympathized, she really did, but honestly? If Jaune got together with someone then maybe mom would stop trying to set them up, "I mean the solution here seems pretty obvious. If all your moms want to get with Jaune then...set him up with one of them? The other two can't really do anything after that."
"That's not a solution!" Yang shouted.
"Indeed! We want an ending where Jaune doesn't get together with any of our mothers!" Weiss yelled.
"You sound like you're tempted, Weiss." Blake raised a brow. The heiress looked ready to shout back when she suddenly looked away, cheeks dusted red and muttering something unintelligible, "Anyway, we can't really do anything about it."
"Oh, easy for you to say! Your mom's not trying to get into Jaune's pants!" Yang shouted. That was true, and Blake made no move to deny it, "Ugh, this is the worst! Stupid Jaune and his stupid haircut!"
"At least only one of your moms will be with the guy," Blake said. It was cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless.
"Actually..." Ruby snapped her notebook shut, "Mom says she's fine with sharing. Apparently it was a whole thing with dad, mom and Raven back in the day. Raven didn't mind since polygamy's legal in Mistral. Not that Raven even wants to get married. Pretty sure she just wants to sleep with Jaune then go abandon her next baby."
"...You're being really calm about this," Blake said.
"Our lives are pretty weird. You get used to it."
The news that this would not, in fact, be a monogamous relationship and that Jaune could get together with both her moms finally broke the dam. Yang got into a fetal position and cried while Ruby hopped off the bed and patted her hair with soft "there, there" words. Weiss looked sick and was internally debating with herself once more on the merits of her weird fetish. She probably guessed that her mom wouldn't be opposed to sharing either. Blake would've been desperate if she was married to Jacques Schnee for two decades.
Thank the gods her mom was the sane one here.
Blake leaned back on her chair and hummed. Clearly sense and reason ran in the Belladonnas. She was just about to leave - clearly her team needed some space - when Yang suddenly clamped both hands on her shoulders and leaned in so close she smelled the peppermint in her brath. For a second Blake thought she was gonna kiss her, which wouldn't have been totally opposed to, before her partner's mouth curled in a feral and desperate grin.
"I've got a better idea, Blakey." She laughed, "How about you go seduce Jaune?"
"...What?" Blake blinked. This was a sudden left turn.
"Our moms might be fine with sharing, but you're not." Her grip tightened uncomfortably, "So if you seduce Jaune then they'll all back off."
"And why would I do that?" Blake raised a brow. She wouldn't be opposted to dating Jaune either - he was a nice enough guy and her mom trusted him - but he didn't seem interested and she wasn't one to make the first move.
"Because you are a valued member of team RWBY and you'd want to help your teammates?" Weiss said, though it was half-hearted at best. The girl had issues.
"Better yet, I know where you stashed all those real life fanfictions you've written." Blake's blood turned to ice at Yang's demented look, "That's right, partner, and I made copies. So go seduce Jaune unless you want everyone to know who exactly you're shipping."
"Y-You're bluffing."
"Oh really? Then i guess you don't mind me spreading this little story I found about how you thought Headmaster Ozpin and General Ironwood would make the hottest-"
"Alright, alright!" Blake muffled Yang's mouth and pushed the blonde off her. The Faunus' cheeks were blood red and it took everything she had not to throttle her partner out the window. Yes, she was a sensible and mature young woman, but even she had her fantasies. So what if they involved the headmaster of Beacon and Atlas' general having a secret love affair? It didn't harm anyone!
"Yang, you know it's not gonna work." Ruby sighed.
"You shut up, Rubes! This is totally gonna work!" And then, before Blake could say anything, Yang slapped her rump hard enough to make her jump, "I'm a bombshell and all, but Blake here's got the bellabooty and cat ears. If Jaune says no a catgirl with a giant badonkadonk then he's not interested in women and we don't have anything to worry about."
"You know he said he likes older-"
"Ah, ah, ah! I don't wanna hear it!" Yang cut Ruby off and grabbed Blakes wrists, "Now come on, partner, we're gonna make you the sexiest thing on Beacon!"
Being the 'sexiest thing on Beacon' apparently involved giving her shorts that rode up so much she felt like she was getting a constant wedige. The other parts of her clothes - a crop top, sandals, and a blazer - were at least less annoying to wear. Weiss did her makeup, and to her surprise she actually did a good job despite her torn thoughts on Blake's success.
Cause she would succeed. Blake didn't like to think she had an ego, but she had a healthy amount of confidence in herself. She knew she was attractive. Sun was definitely interested (even if she only saw him as a friend) and she'd had a few admirers at Beacon. Nothing to match Weiss or Yang, but enough to know where she stood.
Blake walked with her head held high as he made his way to Jaune's room. He was both a student and a teacher's assistant, so another student going over to his room wasn't discouraged or against the rules. She took a deep breath and looked over herself one more time. She was just going to ask Jaune out on a date, and if need be she'd flash some skin.
She was just about to knock when the door opened and Jaune nearly bowled her over, "Woah, Blake!" Jaune barely managed to pull himself back while Blake did the same. She looked him up and down. He looked nice; definitely more dressed up than he usually was, and without the armor she saw that he was actually pretty well built. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after.
"Jaune," she said, face locked in a neutral gaze, "I was hoping you'd...accompany me somewhere."
"Huh? Where to?"
"Mm, maybe some drinks?" She let a small smile through.
"Perfect timing, actually!" Well, that was easy, "I was going out with Summer, Willow and Raven to a pretty upscale place." Wait, what? "Willow's cutting back on drinking, but this should be fine- wait, that's not the point." He shook his head, "I was actually feeling really weird since I didn't have anyone my age there, but if you come along then there's no problem!"
"Wait, that's not what I-"
"Great, let's go!" Jaune grabbed her hand and gently pulled her along. Blake was stunned silence at the bold action. He was holding her hand. The only one who'd ever done that was Adam, and he was always so rough. This was different. Blake blushed and tried not to think about how well her hand fit with his.
The place ended up being a pretty high end restaurant, and Blake was proud to say that she wasn't the one who stuck out the most. No, that honor went to Professor Raven, who cane in her usual attire and refused the hostess' polite request to not bring her katana into the premises with a glare and warning that anyone who tried to take it would lose their fingers. Professor Summer had to do some fast talking to avoid the police getting called.
No one really protested her appearance. Professor Summer was happy to welcome Kali's daughter/Yang's partner, Professor Raven didn't care at all, and Professor Willow was too busy undressing Jaune with her eyes to pay her any mind. Seriously, the woman wasn't even trying to hide. Jaune either had the world's best poker face or was thicker than Weiss' ego judging by how his face didn't change at all.
At least mom wasn't here. She was out on a date with Qrow so that was one problem she didn't have to deal with.
"Do you often go out like this?" Blake asked.
"Not really, but we figured it'd be a good time to celebrate." Professor Summer beamed. Celebrate what, Blake wanted to ask, but judging by the way she kept eyeing Jaune's hair she figured exactly why. What was the big deal? It was a haircut; it didn't even look that good! She was thinking of cutting her hair short herself, or maybe a ponytail. Anything to change it up.
"This is stupid. If you wanted to get something eat we could've gone somewhere less stuffy." Professor Raven scoffed.
"Not everyone ate by roasting squirrels over fires, dear," Professor Willow said, showing no reaction to the dark haired woman's glare, "Trust me, the food here is worth it, and I know from experience they have some fine vintages that can beat even some of the places in Atlas."
"Hey," Jaune said suddenly, nudging his left shoulder to right, "Thanks for coming."
"No problem." She smiled back as the waiter set down the bottle along with already filled chalices. She wasn't one for drinking normally, she'd seen what that stuff did to Yang, but she could make an exception for today. At least nothing bad would happen with the rest of them around.
Blake woke up to a pounding headache and a dry mouth, "Ugh..." She closed her eyes again and turned to right to lie on her stomach. Okay, judging by the feeling she was at least on a bed. A really soft bed. Damn, if she wasn't so hungover she would've loved this. It made the beds back at their dorms feel like lumpy sleeping bags. Blake turned around again and snuggled up to the person to her right.
...
Blake's eyes shot open in a panic. Ignoring the pounding headache, she sat up and placed both hands against her forehead to keep steady. Okay, she wasn't alone. Jaune was next to her...and elsewhere on the bed were Professor Summer, Professor Raven, and Professor Willow, all of them covered by the snug blankets. She wasn't wearing a shirt, and with trembling hands Blake raised the blanket to-
Yep, she was naked. All of them were naked, actually, and judging by the...fluids, they'd gotten busy.
...
Shit.
She stood up unsteadily and grabbed her bra, which was hanging on a nearby lamp, 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' She hissed as she shakily put her clothes back on. This was bad- no, that was an understatement! What the hell happened?! She didn't drink that much! ...Did she? "Urk..." She resisted the urge to puke as she stumbled out of the room. No one else was awake. She could just pretend nothing happened.
Blake was almost back to her dorm when an all too familiar voice called out, "Morning, kitten," Mom walked towards her with a beaming smile and she suddenly wanted to throw herself off of Beacon.
"M-Morning, mom..."
"What's wrong? Not feeling well?" She tilted her head worriedly, and before Blake could say anything she sniffed the air. At that moment Blake damned her entire race, and Cat Faunus in particular, for having such a good sense of smell. It only took one breath for her mom's eyes to widen and then she looked at Blake with the widest, cattiest (damn it, Yang!) grin she'd ever seen.
"M-Mom, it's not what you thi-"
"Oh, I understand, darling." Kali patted her shoulder, completely understanding. Blake wanted to cry, "Don't worry, you're a young woman and I did tell you Jaune was a catch."
"I didn't say it was Jaune!"
"You didn't say it wasn't," Mom laughed, "Oh, I'm so excited! Kittens!"
"There will be no kittens!" Blake turned around and stomped into her room, ignoring her mom's calls for discussing baby names. There was no way she was getting pregnant her first year into Beacon. She'd take the pill and everything would be good.
Her already foul mood tanked even worse when she was met with an already awake Yang eagerly getting in her face, "So how'd it go?! You didn't come back last night, so I assume good news?! Come on, tell me-"
"Shut. Up." Blake pushed past her and walked to the bathroom, ignoring her partner's cries about how she needed to be sure daddy Jaune was off the table. Ugh, this was all Yang's fault. She never should've played along, but of course she just had to be a good friend. No good deed went unpunished.
The days that came after were surprisingly normal. She got the pill, told her friends that dating Jaune was a bust (and promptly ignored Yang's further attempts at blackmail), then went back to classes as always. Thankfully none of the Professors or Jaune she was realized for their...experience, so she was safe. Mostly she had no idea how in the hell the four of them acted like nothing had happened. They all taught classes like normal and talked to one another like they didn't have a naked conga line after getting absolutely wasted.
There was a bit of a panic when her time of the month didn't happen, but she put it out of her mind. There were dozens of explanations. She probably just exercised too much given that she was a future Huntress. Nothing to worry about.
Oh, and she also started seeing the appeal of Jaune's new haircut. Not a big deal. People could change their minds about things, and she suddenly realized that the style actually complimented him very well. It was great, actually.
...Then headmaster Ozpin called their entire team to the office.
Blake's heart hammed against her chest the entire way there, and it only got worse when she saw that all four of their moms were there plus Jaune. Oh no, this wasn't good.
"Thank you all for coming," Headmaster Ozpin said, a pleased smile on his face. She didn't trust that smile. That smile implied horrible things, "I thought it best that we would all be here together for such an occasion."
"What's going on?" Poor, innocent Ruby asked.
"What happened, Ruby, is that you and Yang are going to have two new sisters," The casual way the headmaster replied cause the entire room to go deathly silent, "I wasn't certain at first, but I used some magic-" Some what? "-to confirm given the odd behavior of the professors lately and...yes, well, it appears that the next generation of Maidens is secured. Congratulations, Summer, Willow, Raven, and...Blake." There was a pause, "Admittedly that last one came as a surprise, but it's not an unpleasant one."
"What?!" Yang shrieked, looking between Raven and Blake with an utterly mortified experiession.
"What?!" Raven roared, looking absolutely murderous with the fire around her eyes, "That's bullshit! I took the pill!"
"Yes, well, the Arcs are known for their...virility." Ozpin shrugged. Jaune just looked like he was dying inside, "The man had seven sisters, Raven, I'm surprised you thought the morning after pill would be enough."
"This is-"
"How could you do this to me?!" Yang shouted, cutting off Weiss' stunned response. The blonde grabbed her shoulders and shook her, "You were the chosen one, Blake! You were supposed to stop our moms, not join them!"
Blake didn't get a chance to reply before her own mom gently but firmly pried her partner away, "Now, now, we're all excited here, but you can't shake Blake like that. It's bad for the baby." Blake felt like puking, and she was pretty damn sure it wasn't morning sickness. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Oh Gods, oh fuck, she was seventeen and carrying someone's baby.
Professor Raven grumbled something and turned to leave when Professor Summer grabbed her shoulder, "You probably know better by now, Rae, but I'll still tell you anyway." Her grip tightened, "If you even think about abandoning this baby like you did Yang I will hunt you down and shove Omen right up your ass. It doesn't matter where you go; there's nowhere on Remnant where you can hide from me. Are we clear?" The elder Rose was all smiles even as her eyes lit up with silver fire and a tornado suddenly popped up over the Emerald Forest.
"I-"
"I said are we clear?"
"Y-Yeah, Sum!"
"Good, cause if you think otherwise, what I'll do to you will make what I did to your former tribe look like child's play." Professor Summer turned back to Ozpin, "So what happens now?"
"Well...I suppose I could marry you all." He could what? Blake felt faint, "Mistralian marriages would acknowledge all this and I'm an ordained minister. Are you fine with this, Jaune?" The now-father of four was too busy gasping to respond. Gasping because Professor Willow was now practically draped all over him while Weiss had lost all sense of shame altogether and was demanding headpats with both hands, "...We'll take that as a yes."
Blake turned to Ruby, the only one who hadn't responded at all to this, and found her fiddling with her scroll, "I'm texting Cinder and Emerald," she said, "Oh, got a response. Emerald's super excited and Cinder's...wow, that's a lot of crying emojis. Then something about how life won't end her suffering. Weird."
"Oh, I'm so excited!" Mom clapped her hands, "I get to be a grandmother! Oh don't worry, I'll help take care of the little one while you finish your education."
Blake didn't get a chance to respond to that before the gravity of the situation truly hit and Yang fainted, mouth dribbling and legs twitching. Weiss and Professor Willow were playing tug of war with a near-catatonic Jaune while the rest were hashing out details on how a group marriage actually worked. Blake looked at each of them in turn and, with a deep breath, decided to accept the insanity.
She was a creature of logic, but when logic and sanity went out the window then you had to improvise.
Yeah. Like I said, unless you want chapters of Jaune paying four child supports and changing baby diapers, I think this is pretty definitely the end of the team MILF saga. Don't worry, we've got other alternative Maiden teams.
I've already had people show interest in a small epilogue for the Jaune Vacation omake to show Vale post-takevoer. Or a chapter where Maiden RWBY are evil and trying to take over the world while Jaune is their reluctant morality chain. Not Grimm, just human wannabe overlords...with godlike powers and Huntress training.
There are also some fun images that reverse team RWBY, so Yang is the bubbly and excitable younger sister, Ruby is the demure older sister, Blake is the heiress to the White Fang corp, and Weiss is the daughter of a Dust smuggling mafia. Might be funny.
Next omake will likely be Project M.A.I.D.E.N since I wanna write an omake that's less horny. That and writing from Penny's POV should be fun. Also, team GENDERBEND will probably be a Jaune x Fem!Neptune romance. A dork and a dork who's trying too hard to be cool.
Anyway, tell me what you guys think of the finale of this...really weird and kinda horny omake series.
