A/N: I once had the semi-joking idea that Ironclaw was the history of Zootopia, and that turned into this. If you don't know (and you probably don't, it's pretty obscure) Ironclaw is about a late-medieval fantasy world entirely populated by humanoid animals.
Attend our services and be exposed to the beauty of the White Flame. St. Lucienne's Penitent Church. 4213 Savannah Square.
Judy was on one of her off-days, picking up litter rather than chasing down 'real crime,' as she thought of it, when the flier caught her eye. If asked, she couldn't begin to explain why it interested her; she had seen everything from requests for band practice to offers of a rather salacious kind, and this wasn't even the first religious advert she had picked up that day, but in her boredom she gave it a once over and then wondered about how long it had been since she attended church.
It had been a regular occurrence for much of her childhood (though certainly never a Penitent Church), getting up early on Sunday mornings and putting on her best clothes so she could listen to a rabbit in a black robe drone on and on about the White Flame and the Miracle of Helloise and all of their glory. As a kid she found it very important. As a teenager she found it an expected cultural venue to take part in as a citizen of the Tri-Burrow County but not something worth thinking about on the other six days of the week (she never saw evidence that her parents did). As an independent adult, she hadn't thought of it at all.
She had never once gone out of her way to find a church in the city, nor had she wondered if she should before now. Did she even believe in the White Flame? A childish memory made her fear the pits of Darkness for even questioning it, but that was it, wasn't it? Were the fears of a child its only basis? No, there was definitely more to it than that. Deciding to table the thought for now, she went on clearing up the litter, repainted the sign that made it clear what the fine for littering actually was, and reported back to the station.
--
It wasn't because she was a bunny, they insisted, it was just that taking care of the trash that careless Zootopians tossed on the streets was important; it posed a health hazard to children, it damaged the environment, and not taking care of it immediately taught others that littering was acceptable.
It really was just as important. She didn't doubt that; the ZPD had come around on letting her do important work a while ago, and for the most part she had, but until that pamphlet showed up today's task had been so mind-numbing. Come to think of it, the lack of anything to dedicate her thought process to might have been a large part of why she was suddenly hung up on this. Suspecting that didn't change that she was, in fact, hung up on it, so one she went until she met up with Nick, who was supposedly cleaning up another side street.
After they greeted one another in the usual manner, she merely asked, "do you believe in the White Flame?" Nick almost spit out the coffee he was drinking. "Wow, Hopps, you want to ask something a little less personal, like who I voted for or whether the Doloreaux Genocide of the forties might have had some good points?" "I'm sorry, it's just…you think the Doloreaux Genocide had some good points?" "No, but I know some older pigs that will defend their leaders at the time with everything they have. Back on topic, why do want to know?"
His face froze in terror before she could continue. "You're not one of those goody-two-shoe fanatics trying to convert me, are you? I've met my fair share of those out on the streets, and let me tell you, carrots, they are not to be trifled with."
His face turned to a smirk. "Not that I haven't trifled with them anyway. I once convinced this Penitent priest trying to fund homeland trips that I was a direct descendant of the Rinaldi family and boy did I get the royal treatment for that week! You know, they were so much more enlightened in the 1600's. Everyone knew to bow down before the foxes."
Rolling her eyes, Judy tried to explain herself. "I was just thinking about my own past, and what I believe."
"Well, carrots, if you want my advice, I can tell you that I've seen a lot here on the lustrous streets of our beloved city, but I have yet to see anything that hints at there really being an all-powerful being that watches over the sick and faithful, definitely not a discolored fire. Lots of people that claim there's one, and many of them claiming to know what it wants from us and how to live accordingly, but none of them with any more real knowledge of the cosmos than I have of my ancestors. Heck, maybe I actually am a descendant of the Rinaldi's."
The thought discomforted her. "So, you don't believe at all?" "I have seen nothing that makes me think believing is worthwhile. I reserve the right to change my mind." He shrugged. "I'm fine if you believe or whatever, just don't try to preach at me." "Well, the thing is that I don't know. Doesn't it help people?" "I mean, sure, the churches run a bunch of charities, but I don't know how much they really help overall. Mr. Big is Penitent, and at least talks like he's really devout about it. Do you think of him as a moral paragon?"
--
"Hopps! Wilde!" The chief shouted in their direction. "A new case was just dropped on my desk that I'd like you to look into. Short version, some cult crazies are messing with technology we don't understand. For the longer version, please consult the case file."
The case file really didn't give much more than Bongo did. One of the many secret societies claiming to be the original Green and Purple Order was caught smuggling valuable historical artifacts and messing around with dangerous amounts of heavy elements, enough to theoretically be weapons-grade. It was unlikely, hence why they weren't evacuating the city in response to a potential dirty bomb, but more than enough to raid their suspected hideouts to figure out what was actually going on.
"Original Green and Purple Order?" Judy asked, trying to remember where she had heard of it before. "Bunch of weirdos with too much time on their hands who think that mages were real and try to emulate one of the supposed orders of magic," Nick jumped in, "whom I may or may not have pretended to be a member of in order to get my hands on a book that some wealthy collectors were willing to pay handsomely for-" "So you know where we can find them?" Judy interrupted, far more prepared to crack a case than to hear Nick reminisce on his less up-and-up days. "One of their places, assuming that they're still using it." "Well, then, that's a lead."
--
Mr. Big was overtaken by a sudden compulsion to check on the old Oghma Staff in his collection. It belonged to an ancestor of his, the first shrew to become a religious leader among the Phelan clans, if he remembered correctly, but he wasn't normally prone to doing so. The ancestor in question had been a heretic and culturally Phelan, something a shrew as steeped in the culture of the Calabrese Mafia as he was (not that he would say so, as the mafia, of course, did not exist) could hardly forgive, but he was also an ancestor, and therefore his valuable goods belonged to the family.
When he found it missing, he felt all the same rage as if the thieves had taken his grandmama's wedding dress. Snapping his fingers to get the attention of three of his most loyal polar bears, Mr. Big shouted to call on all his contacts that might know something about any animal's who would be interested in historical artifacts and crazy enough about them to steal from him of all mammals. He also admonished them to make it fast. Someone needed a very cold bath.
--
NIck's memories served him well. There was a whole slew of goats, pigs, and horses (only those three, for some reason) gathering in a single location, and, as soon as they stepped inside the derelict building Officer Wilde had identified, each one of them donned a green and purple robe. Judy could see this because she had taken the liberty of climbing up into the rafters beforehand and watching from above; on one hand, she wasn't particular happy about not following proper protocol right now, but on the other, Nick had reminded that they were dealing with a lot of unknowns and playing a little loose with the rules might be a bit called for here.
As she was watching, a man walked up onto a series of wooden blocks arranged into a make-shift stage and shouted to the gathered throng. "Brothers, today, as on all days, we gather here for one purpose and one purpose only; to learn the secrets of a mammal's soul. Our ancestors knew how to pull at the stings that bind the soul to the body, to alter and shift the souls of both themselves and others to their will, but that knowledge was lost 300 years ago, so thoroughly that many of our contemporaries believe it to have been a myth. But we know the truth."
His words incited a solemn murmur of agreement. Judy rolled her eyes, but continued to watch, even if she was growing increasingly uncomfortable. She was technically spying without a warrant right now, and she didn't have any real evidence that they were guilty of being anything other than a bunch of deluded weirdos…a pig brought forward a casket.
As he lifted its lid, several bizarre-looking antiques, more than a few of which matched the descriptions of stolen items from their case-file, showed themselves. Now that she had retroactively achieved probable cause, she merely had to communicate to Nick to call for backup. After all, they could hardly be expected to take on this whole group by themselves.
Just as she was about to whisper into her walkie-talkie, however, it crackled to life with Wilde's voice trying to inform her that they had a problem, which immediately turned out to be an insufficient warning to make before three massive polar bears burst through the door and Mr. Big's very distinctive Calabrese accent shouted out, "alright, which of you had enough of a death-wish to steal my ancestor's staff?"
"Our eternal research into the true nature of a mammal's soul is far more valuable than allowing you to keep genuine magical artifacts locked up in a display case!" Someone in the crowd shouted. The shrew simply responded, "well, you'll learn all about souls when you meet the White Flame tonight. I pray you find the path to Purity before you drown. Get them!"
Even considering the size and relative strength of the polar bears, it should have been a one-sided fight considering how many of the "original Green and Purple Order" were present, and Judy was a little shocked that Mr. Big had gone ahead with the attack considering that he must be seeing the same situation as her. However, the men in the robes responded to the mob boss's threats not by defending themselves or running away but by making bizarre hand gestures and shouting gibberish.
Hopps was dumbfounded. Were they seriously attempting magic in this situation? She had thought them to be delusional, but seeing the full extent of their absurdity when the vicious predatory bears were unleashed on them…she was a police officer first and foremost, tasked with preserving order in the city, and the situation down there was most definitely not orderly.
"Nick, call for backup." As she quickly shouted the numerical code for a violent brawl, she grabbed some pepper spray with her free hand and leapt down to where one of Big's goons had just clawed a horse in the throat when the casket started glowing. The leader of the weirdos started shouting more and more gibberish, which was causing the artifacts to glow brighter and brighter, and Judy didn't have time to do anything about either the vicious polar bear in front of her or what she remembered about the properties of those heavy elements she assumed were behind the glowing phenomenon before the bright light engulfed them all. It was somewhat ironic that she had spent so much time thinking about the White Flame before; it felt like she was consumed by one.
--
The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the dirt. While the floor of the building she had been in…was it seconds?…ago wasn't exactly clean, this felt like dirt dirt. The type of dirt she had known growing up in a farm all her life. The small tickle of grass she noticed as her awareness came back with more and more focus only confirmed what she was thinking; she had somehow gotten not only outside but out of the city. Or the urban sprawl, at least, as she could have been in a park. Far less likely, she could have been in the floor of the rainforest district.
Those last two thoughts lasted for about as long as it took for her to lift her head and look around. The vast stretches of uneven hills, open grasslands, wild and untamed trees in the distance and, most tellingly of all, the huge mountains stretching up in the horizon let her know that she was, in fact, nowhere in Zootopia. "What happened, carrots?" Something familiar spoke from her side, which let her know, and thank the White Flame for it, that Nick had come with her to…wherever they were.
Apparently, the guys we were looking into thought it would be a good idea to rob Mr. Big." Nick whistled. "I saw him go in, and I tried to warn you about it, but I guess I was too late. Still, that doesn't explain why we're here, and not trying to convince a bunch of polar bears in blood-soaked tweed jackets to put their hands up." "The group activated…something. I'm guessing one of those weird element things they had stolen. There was a big light, and when it faded, well, this happened." She gestured around to the surrounding environs.
Are you telling me that those magic weirdoes built a teleportation device? When did they get into the mad science game?" Before Judy could answer, she noticed a group of white furred beings headed their way. "I don't know, but maybe we can ask for directions."
Raising her arms and waving at what she now recognized to be goats, she shouted, "hey, I know that this will sound weird, but where are-"
Nick tackled her before the javelin could impale her. Once she recognized the danger, her ZPD training kicked in. Suppressing her panic and confusion, she leapt for a nearby rock she could use as cover before the next goat could throw another projectile. Once she was certain Nick had also found some temporary relative safety, she tried to defuse the situation.
We are both officers with the Zootopia Police Department, we mean no harm. We would like to have a peaceful conversation with you." A string of Calabrese was the only response she got. Well, that and more javelins tossed in their direction. From the sounds of things, the goats were getting closer, and the two were not prepared to engage in a melee fight with these creatures, which meant that they were really low on options right now…CRACK!
The sound of gunfire rang through her ears. That would have increased her panic had come from the same direction as the goats, but whomever was firing seemed to be on Nick and her's side, or at least shared their current enemy. It didn't faze the goats, but the immediately following shout of "Carica!" and storming group of pigs in steel armor and holding pikes seemed to. One or two of the goats fell before they retreated, shouting what sounded like curses at the pigs.
One pig, holding an outdated gun, came up to Nick and Judy and asked "Che ci fai qui? I chevernais sono pericolosi." Judy was completely lost. Nick was lost in thought, like he was desperately trying to parse what the pig had just said. "Siamo…perduti," Nick eventually responded, obviously uncertain about what he was saying.
When the pig started asking a barrage of questions in the same language, which Judy was pretty sure was Calabrese, Nick just stared with the same blank look Judy had whenever the mammal spoke. "Dov'e Zootopia? Dove siamo?" Nick eventually answered rather than try to understand. The pig scrunched its face in confusion. "Zootopia?" This was already a long and confusing day, and it obviously about to only get more confusing.
