Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me.

A/N: Hey, guys and gals! Long time, no write, I know. But there's a few reasons for that. The main two are this-first, I was sick. Really sick. I didn't have COVID like I thought at first, but I had a monster stomach bug that kept me flat on my butt in bed for days. Then, after that, my mom found a box with some of my old video games in it. So for about a week now, I've basically been on a big nostalgia trip playing those again.

Anyway, the concept of this story is simple. I always wondered how much of Sam's life Dean knew about while in Heaven. It didn't sit right with me that Dean would just get in the car and drive, not knowing whether or not Sammy was okay. So, I kinda fixed that here. Read on and you can see what I mean. Anyway, I hope everyone's doing okay and I hope to be back soon with either a new story or a continuation of an old one. Until then, everybody stay safe and stay healthy!

Dean had always pictured Heaven, if he somehow miraculously made it there, as a place of paradise. A place free of worries and regret, where you could live your life free of the things which held you down on Earth.

While that was mostly the case, it wasn't entirely true.

Dean had been driving for what felt like just a few hours to him, but he somehow knew it had been years on Earth. While the trip felt liberating to Dean, with nothing to do but ride and enjoy the gorgeous scenery around him, there was a tiny part of him that felt something all too familiar.

Regret.

He knew that his death, just like all the other times it happened, had completely shattered Sam. But this time was different. This time there was to be no second, or third, or fourth, or hundredth chance. Dean was not coming back. Their days of rescuing each other from death, which for most people would be the ultimate fate, were over. Dean had decided a mere few seconds after his back was painfully pierced in that barn that both their lives were going to change.

Gone forever were the days of hunting monsters. Of living and dying for the hunt. Of never having a single thing for themselves-except for each other.

Of course, there in the barn while he was actually dying, he couldn't hide the pain that he was in, so he'd had to work extra hard to convince Sam to let him go. The look on Sam's face as Dean was fading away was almost as painful as his back. But Dean had known the entire slow, painful process of his death that he was making the right decision for both of them.

Making decisions for the two of them had hurt his and Sam's relationship before, so he'd had to tread very carefully. Let Sam think that there was no other choice but to just let him go. Somehow, it worked. As Dean faded away, he knew he'd done the right thing for Sam.

What he didn't anticipate wondering was whether he'd done the right thing for himself.

Dean didn't regret letting go and going to heaven. It was paradise here. The paradise he'd always imagined people thought heaven was supposed to be. But it wasn't perfect. Not by a long shot. After his initial conversation with Bobby, Dean was in a waiting game. So he did what he did best when he was feeling lost and alone.

He drove.

Dean couldn't explain it, but he had a feeling every time something big happened to Sam. He later discovered that every time Sam was missing him more than normal, he could, if he wanted, take a look at Sam's life and see what was going on. The first time he did it, Dean was shocked.

Sam was holding a little boy, no older than a couple of weeks.

Dean was so surprised that he had to pull over to the side of the road for the first time in his drive. It was then that he learned that time passed differently in heaven than it did on Earth. For Dean, it seemed to have only been a few hours, but clearly at least nine months had passed on Earth. He'd learn later that it had actually been closer to three years, but at that moment he didn't care. Dean listened to Sam for a minute, fighting back his tears as he watched his baby brother with his son.

Sam had a son. A real, living little kid. The words would never not feel crazy to Dean. But as he'd predicted, Sam was a natural.

The baby was whining slightly, but Sam's humming brought the whining down to a minimum. It took a minute of listening before Dean realized what it was Sam was humming.

Metallica.

Dean smiled. He'd hummed Metallica to Sam when he was a baby, and it always calmed down baby Sam. Now, apparently, it was calming down Sam's son too. Finally, when the baby stopped whining, Sam took a chance and sat down in a rocking chair in the room. The baby didn't whine or cry anymore, just looked up in Sam's general direction. The baby's eyes were unfocused and wandering, though they appeared to lock on to Sam when Sam started to speak. But it wasn't the baby Sam was talking to.

"I wish you could see him, Dean." Sam was swallowing back tears, making Dean's heart heavy and painful with guilt. "You'd love him."

In the corner, Dean whispered, "I already do, Sammy."

"He's named after you." Sam said. "Dean Robert Winchester. I wish I knew if you knew that for sure, but there you go."

Dean was shocked, but a smile was creeping up. He walked across the room and looked down at baby Dean. For the first time ever, Dean willingly broke his no chick flick moments rule, beaming at the baby's face and taking in his every feature.

"I'm not raising him to hunt." Sam said. "I thought about it, but I just can't do it."

"That's good, Sammy. Don't do that to him." Dean said.

Baby Dean whined again in his father's lap, and Dean noticed something. No longer was the baby looking up at Sam. He was looking up at Dean.

Could the baby see him?

Sam talked to his brother a little more, but Dean leaned down and kissed the baby's cheek. It was a weird, out of character moment for him that Sam would have endlessly teased him for if he knew about it. But Dean didn't care. He waved at the baby, and something happened that made Dean's heart flutter.

Baby Dean smiled at him.

Sam noticed too, and he broke out into his own smile. Dean couldn't help but notice that the smile still held sadness behind it, btu nonetheless it was a thousand times better than the tears he'd been trying not to cry just five minutes earlier. Sam cooed to the baby, who kept his eyes on Dean until Dean waved goodbye and went back to the car.

No matter what anyone said, Dean hadn't been wiping tears away from his face when he started the car up again. There was dust in his eye, okay?

Dean continued to drive, and he felt better than he had since arriving in heaven. Sam was still hurting without his brother around, but he'd be okay. He had something else to live for, someone to love and someone to love him. Sam finally had the family and the life he'd longed for as long as Dean could remember.

Something good had finally come from their crappy lives.

That brief scene in baby Dean's nursery wasn't the last time Dean saw his nephew. Anytime Sam was sad or hurting for whatever reason, Dean popped in and kept him company for a little while. Junior, which became baby Dean's nickname, could see his uncle until about the time he turned five. Sam simply thought Junior had an imaginary friend and didn't give it another thought. But Dean was there for Junior's first day of kindergarten, where he cried more than Sam did. He was there when Junior went missing after wandering away from his father in a public park. He was there when Eileen died after a hunting accident, which he worried would cause Sam to sink into a depression he'd never come out of. But life went on, and Dean was there when Junior graduated from high school and college.

As Junior grew and had his own family, Dean came less and less. Though he'd wanted Sam to live his life and become an old man, he couldn't help but feel jealous. The sight of Sam with gray hair was just too much to handle, and for years of Sam's life, Dean didn't show up.

He came one last time.

Dean pulled over and he knew that something was gravely wrong. Sam was in pain. Dean didn't know why, but he knew that Sam was close to death. He was sick, with what Dean didn't know, but he did know he had to go and check on his baby brother. Had he been alive when he showed up in Sam's house that night, his breath would have left him.

Sam was in a hospital bed. There were monitors all around him, and Sam was thin and frail. There was no one else around, and Sam was groaning in his sleep. Dean collected himself and took a seat on Sam's bed.

"Wake up, little brother."

Sam opened his eyes and looked around. Finally, his eyes landed on Dean.

"Dean?"

"Yeah. It's me." Dean said.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked. "Am I hallucinating?"

"I sure hope not. Sammy, what…what is all this? What happened to you?"

Despite the pain he was still in, Sam smiled. "It's Sam."

The old familiar rebuke, which had annoyed Dean to no end when they were younger, made Dean laugh until his stomach hurt. "Okay, Sam. What happened?"

"Tumor. On my heart." Sam said.

"When did this happen?"

"It's been a couple years." Sam answered, his words slightly slurred. "But when they found it was already too late."

"Sammy, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Sam said, his smile growing even bigger. "I've had a good life, Dean. As good as I ever could've imagined."

"I know. I've been there for some of it."

"I knew it."

"Sam, if you want to come with me now, you can…"

"I'll be there soon, Dean." Sam said, before he groaned again at a spasm of pain in his chest. "I need to wait for Junior first. He'll be here tomorrow."

"Sammy, you don't have to wait here in pain like this…"

"I won't go without telling him goodbye." Sam said stubbornly. "I won't leave him without letting him know how much I love him."

Dean nodded, though his instinct was to take Sam with him no matter what. He remembered all too well the pain Sam had suffered when John died without so much as a word to him.

"Okay, Sammy."

"Dean, I'm glad you came."

Dean smiled. "Me too, Sammy."

"I'm gonna go to sleep now. I'll see you soon, okay?"

Dean returned to heaven, but he was too distraught at first to continue his drive. He sat inside Baby and fought back panic, the thought of his little brother in so much pain making him wish he'd just stayed behind with him. He hated himself for the thought, but maybe if he'd let Sam get help that day, maybe the two of them would have continued hunting, and Sam could've had a quick death rather than a drawn out, painful one. Eventually, Dean regained his composure and kept driving.

After a few minutes, Dean came to a bridge and stopped again. A sudden sense of peace had enveloped him, and he somehow knew that all was going to be okay. Sammy would be with him soon, and he no longer had to worry about his baby brother. He stood on the bridge and looked out over the water, taking in the crisp smell of the lake around him.

Then it happened. The moment that Dean had wanted since his arrival to heaven just a couple of days earlier happened.

There was no sound. Dean didn't know what made him realize it, but he knew that Sammy was standing right behind him. He didn't turn around right away, just smiled and took in the moment.

"Heya, Sammy."

Dean stared at his brother for a long moment before embracing him. Sam was wearing the same jacket he'd been wearing when the two of them had started to travel together in Sam's Stanford days, which felt like a dozen lifetimes ago. He was the same age he'd been when Dean died. Dean wondered whether Sammy had gotten the final goodbye he'd wanted with Junior, but that question could wait. They'd have all of eternity to talk. For now, Dean was focused on one thing.

Heaven was finally heaven.