Chapter 15:
Despite how James had felt about Snape over the years it was clear that he treated Lily well. There weren't many men who would trust their partner staying alone with an ex, most would request they either be there, or that someone else was with them. Snape however seemed to have none of those possessive qualities. It was clear he was crazy about Lily, Snape had always been head over heels for her, but he also trusted and respected her. Honestly, the two of them were perfect for each other in a lot of small ways that James didn't really want to think about.
He felt a little nervous about why he was here, but Lily was the only one who knew he was going to be a father, even if she wasn't she was still the only one of his friends he could talk to this about. Lily had always given good advice, plus she was good at keeping secrets when needed, not to mention she'd have a female perspective on the situation.
"I found her Lily, but it's a bit complicated," he said staring into his teacup. James was afraid if he was maintaining eye contact, he wouldn't be able to speak. Not when he was doing this behind Hermione's back, she'd wanted to keep their situation a secret for now, while she mustered up courage to tell her brother. Yet James was going stir crazy! All he wanted to do whenever he saw Hermione was kiss her. The one time he hadn't held the urge in she'd very clearly rebuffed him. Hermione thought it was only about the baby, but something just drew him to her, it had from the very first moment they met at the pub.
"I take it that means I'm not going to be invited to your wedding anytime soon."
James choked at that, Lily deciding to say that just as he took a drink of tea to wet his parched throat. Of course he'd thought that it would be best if he and Hermione were married, with the baby on the way, but he'd never actually taken the time to think that getting married meant a wedding. Now all he could picture was Hermione in a white dress, veil covering her face, her stomach round with their child, walking towards him on her brother or grandfather's arm.
"Unfortunately, that would be a no. She doesn't want to get married. Doesn't want to even try a relationship other than being friends and co-parents." He didn't know why it was so hard to just say it was Hermione. Lily had only met her briefly the once, but she did know Harry quite well, meaning she could tell James how likely it was that Harry was going to kill him for this.
Actually, maybe Harry shouldn't be his biggest worry. He'd been so focused on the baby and making sure Hermione recovered from her magical exhaustion, that James had forgotten Hermione had admitted Mad-Eye was her grandfather. Considering the shock on her brother's face he hadn't known until the moment she spoke, and since James had been hovering, he knew she'd said it mainly to shock him. It had worked in the moment, but then his worry had overclouded his critical thinking.
James had gotten the granddaughter of his trainer pregnant! A man who was known to hunt Dark Wizards, his skills rivalling hit wizards and James's father. If Mad-Eye got it in his head to go after James, James wouldn't stand a chance! He was good, but he didn't know if he'd ever be at Mad-Eye's level, he definitely wasn't right now.
"That takes a lot of guts. Unwed mothers aren't treated well here, it's better in the Muggle world, but not by much. Does she understand the ramifications of not marrying you? Wait is she marrying someone else?!"
"No, she's not marrying someone else, and with how intelligent she is I'm certain she understands what it will mean. I just don't think she cares. I was able to convince her to allow me to expose our child to the Potter family magic, just the method of sending magic directly over her womb, but that's all I've been able to do. I'm afraid if I try pushing, she'll just disappear, or worse in a way, she'll stay in the area, but completely refuse to acknowledge me. It would be a worse torture seeing her and not being able to interact with her."
Lily's eyes went wide with pity before they seemed to glow, "you have feelings for her!" It wasn't a question.
"Yes."
"She doesn't return them?"
"She doesn't know I do; we didn't know each other for more then a night before our child was conceived. I don't think she'd believe me if I told her. She's just brilliant Lils. The more time I spend with her, the more I get to know her, the more I want to understand her. It's just she keeps so much back. It's clear she's editing everything she says, she looks guilty when she speaks of her childhood, it's clear she's lying about something, I just don't know what. Whatever she's hiding, I think it's the main reason she can't even fathom giving us a chance."
"James, who is she?"
"Hermione, Hermione Evans. I didn't know who she was that first night, I think I told you that when I came to you in a panic the first time, but it doesn't change anything. Since we met Harry, it's been clear he's hiding things, things only he and Hermione know. The reason why Hermione has that word carved into her arm, what lead up to her being tortured like that, but there's a lot more to it. I don't think anything they've told us about their pasts is the whole truth, other then the fact that they did a magical sibling ritual when they were 13. Whatever happened to them it was big."
"Perhaps the best thing is to take things slow. Maybe we should arrange a night with all of our friends. You said Hermione had known who you were after your night together, perhaps that's why she kept avoiding coming out, that or it was because of her training, but since she's still not allowed to work it might be a good opportunity."
"If we do that it will have to be at Potter Manor. Mum's very convincing and we've had Harry, Hermione, and Teddy as guests since the night of the attacks. Hermione still isn't supposed to do too much. This morning when Augusta visited, she looked a tad worried."
For the sake of transparency with their child's health, Hermione had allowed him to sit with her after the initial examination when Augusta gave her report on Hermione's health. She was concerned about the rate of Hermione's magic healing; it was a lot slower than she thought it would be based on her experience, although she didn't seem concerned about Hermione's overall health. She'd mentioned that some spells just weren't accurate when it came to a witch's pregnancy, and she was going to bring a muggle device called an ultrasound with her tomorrow. Augusta seemed to have some idea on what was going on with Hermione, but she said she didn't want to give a hypothesis that may be wrong.
Maybe having a get together with his friends, might give Hermione something to do. James knew she had been enjoying chatting with Pip for the last three days, but he also knew that she was getting a little stir crazy. Harry had pulled him aside this morning and told him he was worried about Hermione. It was why he and Harry had talked to Mad-Eye to make it, so their schedules had been arranged, so they weren't doing graveyard shifts right now. Mad-Eye really did care deeply for his granddaughter. He was even coming for lunch or supper when he could spare the time away. Sometimes he'd go have private conversations with Da, but it was fairly common, the two were old friends after all.
"Do you think we could see who's available on short notice for tonight? Hermione needs a bit of a pick me up. She's not really used to not being busy. We even have to limit her reading, so that she gets enough rest during the day and night. It makes me feel like the bad guy. Especially since I can't say anything to Harry, although I think he's at least caught on that Hermione's pregnant, but since he hasn't tried attacking me, I don't think he's aware the baby is mine. He's a good brother. It seems he doesn't want to push Hermione before she's ready to talk about everything."
Harry really was supportive. He had seemed to master how to be there for Hermione without her trying to bite his head off. The reward of having known Hermione for so long. Although neither of them had said when Harry's godfather had married Hermione's mother, if that really had happened. The way they hesitated when they spoke about it seemed like it was something they weren't used to talking about.
Whenever Hermione mentioned her mother, she also mentioned her father, and James just wasn't sure whether Hermione would refer to Harry's godfather as her father. Especially since he'd heard her refer to him as Sean in the past. It could also be that she switched how she referred to him, that she'd never been accurate with the title she used. It was clear that Hermione thought dearly of her parents. Even though they hadn't shared her blood, although maybe her mother had, Hermione had never been clear on whether she was adopted or not. There were a lot of holes in their stories, as James had told Lily the only truth seemed to be that Harry and Hermione had magically adopted each other as siblings.
"We can send off owls now. Do you think Sirius would behave tonight? I'd like Hermione and Harry to get to know Sev."
"I'll make sure he does. He needs to start getting used to the fact that we've broken up, but that you'll always be one of my best friends."
"It would be easier for him to accept if you told him that you're going to be a father."
"Telling you was the exception. I'm not going to tell anyone else until Hermione's talked to Harry. Even if I'm sure he's figured it out already, it's her right to be able to tell him when she's ready."
Hermione's POV
"Sorry that I got here a bit earlier then everyone else. I guess everyone is still cleaning up from the slim that Fab and I doused them all with," Gideon said wiping soot off of his robes, it seemed he didn't have Molly's grace in coming through the floo.
"Gideon nice to see you again."
"My pleasure fair lady. I'm just going to blurt this out, because I don't think you realize just how bad things will be for you, I know you're pregnant and if you're willing, I could marry you. Wait before you say anything, I know neither of us have feelings for the other, that we barely know each other, but you did save me and Fabian. Being unwed in our world is dangerous. I'm not in a relationship and I don't care that the child won't be mine. I'd like to keep the both of you safe."
Hermione just gaped at Gideon. She hadn't expected the wizard to offer to marry her out of the blue. They'd only had two interactions, only one of which was an actual conversation.
"Look Gideon I appreciate it, but I think you're misunderstanding something here. I'm the reason the father hasn't already married me. He knows now, not that I was planning on telling him the situation's a bit complicated, if I said yes, he would have married me already."
"Why?"
"I don't believe a child should be the reason I marry someone. Friendship, love, trust, those are more important. I want a stable foundation before I get married, I want a happy marriage, not just one for society's sake."
"As a pureblood who's felt pressure to marry, even if we are blood traitors, I get that. However, it's a lot worse than you might imagine. Some will most likely literally throw stones at you, believing an unwed mother is too shameful to use magic on. Many unscrupulous wizards will expect you to want to sleep with them, just because you have a child, many of whom won't want to take no for an answer. Your child will pay the price as well, not just you. For some reason it's more acceptable if the mother is wed, even if it's clear that the man she wed wasn't the father of her child."
He was sweet to worry about her and her child, but if she married anyone it would be James. Not that she wanted to marry James, but she wouldn't slight him by allowing his child to be claimed by another man. Not when Hermione could see just how excited James was to be a father.
Hermione had heard of how bad unwed mothers were treated in the wizarding world, but she hadn't thought it would be too this extent. Was she really doing the right thing in refusing to marry James? Even if she was fine with suffering indignation and scorn, was she really willing to allow her child to go through that?
"Things will be bad once you start showing, but as long as you're married before the child is born, the child will be safe."
"Thank you Gideon, you've given me a lot to think about. I appreciate the offer, but if I do decide to follow your advice, the only one I would marry would be their father. He wants our child, he's quite excited about being a father, I couldn't take that away from him."
"If anything changes the offer will still stand."
Luckily Hermione was saved from continuing the conversation when the floo chimed again, Fabian arriving at the exact moment that Harry and James apparated in. All three of them carrying some kind of alcohol in their arms.
"Don't worry 'Mione, no one's going to ask you to drink, everyone's aware about the magical exhaustion. Besides Augusta heard the plans from Alice and Frank and gave us all very terrifying warnings if anyone even thought of spiking your drink. That witch is terrifying."
"Don't expect me to keep any of you from doing something stupid under the influence."
"Ah, but don't you always keep me from doing stupid things?" Harry asked with a boyish grin. Even though they were back under Voldemort's reign of terror, Harry had never seemed happier. Being just Harry had really brought out the man he'd always hidden under a mask.
"No Harry, I manage the fall out of your decisions, after you decided to ignore my warnings, it's impossible to keep you from doing stupid things."
He gave her a stern look before he threw his head back and laughed. "I never can win an argument with you can I."
"We both know I put in more effort than you do, you hate arguing with me."
"That I do 'Mione, that I do. Now let's get you all set up comfortably on the couch, Augusta said even though we were all hanging out you still needed to rest."
Hermione appreciated everything Augusta was doing for her, but she had everyone dancing to her tune. The older healer had it so Hermione was barely even allowed to lift Teddy, it made the little boy pout when she couldn't just pick him up and Harry had to be the one to place him into her arms. Augusta was just worried with how long Hermione's magical exhaustion had been lasting, that too much physical strain along with the magical would start being detrimental to the baby's health.
When the floo chimed again admitting the rest of Harry's friend group, Hermione was glad that she was no longer left to her own thoughts. Not being able to work, had been making it so Hermione was stuck with her thoughts a bit too much to even her own liking.
"Hi Hermione," Charity and Jessica said together, their voices almost melding into one. She hadn't been expecting to see her friends tonight. Especially since she hadn't really spent any time with them away from St. Mungo's.
"Charity, Jessica, this is a pleasant surprise."
"Yeah we were shocked when you're brother invited us, especially when he said we'd be at the Potter Estate. We'd heard you got caught up in that nasty attack, protecting some of the children, Hillary Melinski disappeared the same day. According to Joey Blott she was the one who led them all to the room. She'd apparated out almost at the same time that the Death Eaters appeared. She was an orderly in charge of patient intake, she'd failed her own training, but she'd been good with patients. The Aurors have been hunting for her."
It was a name that didn't ring any bells. Hermione had thought maybe she'd have to deal with someone she knew and liked being the one who tried to get children killed, but instead it ended up being someone Hermione had never even interacted with. What could make anyone decide to lead children to their death? Especially when the person had originally wanted to be a healer!
"Nope none of that tonight, Charity, Jessica, tonight is about leaving work behind. No more talking about healing or dark wizards." Harry demanded.
"Sorry Harry."
"No problem. It's one of only two rules tonight, the other one by Augusta, that would be Healer Longbottom, is that Hermione isn't allowed alcohol."
"Not that I mind. I'd just like to have a relaxing night, laughing at all of you acting like fools," Hermione said with a grin.
Harry quickly introduced all of his friends to her, knowing that she shouldn't know most of them. Although she'd met Alice and Frank on occasion at St. Mungo's when they'd take Augusta out for lunch or supper, depending on her shift for that day. It was good she already knew everyone because otherwise it would be hard to remember who was who from the quick fire introductions Harry gave.
She jumped when she felt someone's hands on her feet, having been focusing on Harry, only to glare at James when he plopped himself down at the end of the couch putting her feet down on his lap. It caused a lot of raised eyebrows from his friends and a confused look to pass over her brother's face.
"What this way I'm out of Sirius's splash range," he responded as if that made any sense, but since most of his friends nodded their heads laughing, she figured it did.
As if he could read her thoughts James turned his head to look at her, "Sirius's tends to make his drink fly on people when he gets too excited or drunk. No matter how many times we tell him to be careful one of us always ends up splashed in the end."
"We had a friend like that, except it was food, never made sense his siblings had table manners, but he acted like he'd never been taught. Food would go flying everywhere, it drove me bloody insane."
"Drove you insane, I'm the one who ended up having to hear your arguments about him needing to eat with better manners, to keep his mouth closed while eating, and to stop trying to instigate food fights," Harry said a sad smile on his face.
It was hard thinking of Ron. They'd never see their Ron again, not that he'd really been the Ron they remembered when they came back, but they'd both hoped that Ron would heal enough to be their best friend again. They knew he'd never be the same, but neither were they. All they wanted was to be the three of them again, now they'd never get that chance. So it hurt thinking about him, but Hermione wasn't going to let his memory die. Ron and her had fought like mad so many times over the years, but he'd also been her best friend and first actual crush.
He'd had his moments where he shined so brightly, but he'd always compare himself to his siblings and couldn't see that all she and Harry had ever wanted was his friendship. The friendship of the boy who'd sacrificed himself to a giant chess set for them and was willing to fly a car to rescue Harry because he hadn't heard from him all summer. Those moments when they'd still been mostly children, instead of soldiers.
"Hermione what do you do for fun?" Lily asked, probably sensing the sad shift in their moods.
"Researching mostly. Other than that, I mainly spend my time with Harry, Teddy, or Alastor."
"Why don't you call him grandpa or anything like that?"
"I didn't grow up knowing him, by the time I found out he was my grandfather I was too used to calling him Alastor. It's not like he minds. He's just glad I've admitted to the relationship."
"She hadn't even told me about it, until the other night," Harry said careful not to say which night since it wasn't only order members at their little gathering.
"I hadn't been ready, then all of a sudden I just blurted it out," she ignored James's side look, since they both knew she had done it to try and scare him off.
"Why don't you all tell us about your time at Hogwarts. I've heard that James and his friends were massive pranksters, Dorea's been enjoying telling me stories of holidays, but I'd love to hear about your own experiences."
All of them exchanged looks. Well mostly everyone was looking between James, Lily, and Severus considering the past between the three of them. Hermione was just glad no one knew about her own complicated relationship with James, so she wasn't involved in the awkward glances.
"It's fine. Potter and I have decided to be amicable for Lily's sake. No pranks, insults, hexes, or curses allowed."
It was still so odd seeing Severus younger. The other's it was easier, but Severus was someone who Hermione knew grew to be a bitter man. Yet here he was with a soft smile for Lily. He'd made bad choices, but he was still only 18 years old, most people didn't realize they were on the wrong track until they were much older. It showed that sometimes all someone needed was a chance to make things right.
Oh there was no denying he'd been a right bastard in the future. Taking his anger out on children, he should have never been a teacher, but she couldn't deny he'd been a complicated man trying to make up for his past mistakes. This Severus would have the chance to truly change how he interacted with others, he'd always be a private man to everyone other the Lily she was sure, but she also hoped that he'd at only be prickly instead of rude.
"Most of us never thought we'd see the day," Marlene grumbled as she pulled out 10 galleons and passed them to Alice. Who just grinned when everyone turned to look at her.
"We made the bet back in third year. With how much of a puppy James was for Lily, we all thought he'd realize befriending Severus would be the quickest way to actually get her to like him. Marlene's been gloating since the fallout in 5th year, sorry to bring it up, but afterwards she said that it was the one instance where I was wrong and she was right. It's just we never actually put a time limit on the bet."
"Yes, yes, I've learned never bet against Alice."
"Something I learned a long time ago," Frank said gently kissing Alice's head. "I told Alice when we started dating in 4th year that I was afraid my mother wouldn't like her. To be fair my mother doesn't like anyone, it was nothing against Alice, I was already head over heels for her at the time. Alice told me give her the Christmas Break and she'd win my mother over. True enough she succeeded, although she refuses to tell me how, just said it's her trade secret for dealing with protective family members."
"Augusta is gruff, but she truly does love Frank. All she really needed to know was that I loved him too. It just took a bit of convincing."
"Alice is truly magic."
"Ok enough of the mushy stuff," Sirius complained, although there was no real heat behind it. "I do believe that Hermione wanted to know about our Hogwarts years. I think my favorite memory from at Hogwarts was 2nd year. Dear Minnie, ('that's Minerva McGonagall our transfiguration Professor,' Remus interjected) had just given me my 321st detention the day before so I had decided to celebrate by hanging catnip all over her classroom. It seems that the animagus form instincts sometimes win over, which I didn't know at the time, I just thought it would be a funny joke, but it caused Minnie to shift in front of us. She spent 10 glorious minutes going completely nuts, bouncing off the walls, rubbing against the cat nip, playing with string I transfigured, things like that.
"Until the horror and shock wore off, making Lily Flower run to get Professor Flitwick. Only reason I didn't get expelled was since I made an oath that I hadn't known how out of control that much catnip would make her. There were no ill effects afterwards, otherwise it wouldn't be such a great memory, Minnie is my favorite teacher after all, but seeing her so out of control was just hilarious!"
Hermione was torn between horror and amusement. She couldn't believe that Sirius had done something like that, or that Professor McGonagall hadn't been able to smell the catnip before she entered the room. Actually that seemed a bit odd. Especially since Hermione knew just how advanced her own senses had become since she perfected her animagus transformation.
"How did she not smell it Sirius? As a tiger animagus I'd have smelled it from a few hallways away."
"I put a bubble charm around the classroom. I'd been trying to learn the bubblehead charm, to work on potions secretly in our dorm without having to smell them, but instead made a mistake that instead kept all smells in a room, more a square then a bubble, but I called it the bubble charm due to my error. Ended up being much better, since no one outside our dorm could smell when we were making potions, and we mastered the bubblehead charm to a month later."
Too bad he and Remus never shared that charm with Fred and George. It would have helped the two pranksters hide their activities a lot better. Instead they'd had to modify a Ventus to push all the air out of their dorm, got very cold in the winter, since they couldn't really risk warming charms around sensitive potions and the cauldron flame wasn't warm enough.
"I'm warning you now Sirius be careful what you bring near my sister, we don't need a tiger going crazy because you want a laugh."
"Wouldn't dream of it Harry dear, I do want to stay on your good side after all. I learned from James's mistakes, no pranks on people dear to the person you're trying to date. Pranking your sister would hinder my chances of getting you to say yes."
For some reason Hermione hadn't expected Sirius to come right out and say it. Sure he'd been flirting with Harry quite a bit, but she had thought Harry might be being oblivious. Even with James mentioning it to her. Yet not even Harry was this oblivious and she could see the flush on his face at Sirius's words. It seemed her favorite idiot really had fallen for Sirius and it was clear seeing the conviction and determination in Sirius's eyes that he'd fallen for Harry as well.
"Not happening."
That's all Harry said. Since no one else seemed to find this odd, Hermione wondered just how often Sirius was asking Harry out. Whether directly or indirectly. She could see a sad look on Sirius's face, but it seemed that he still wasn't going to give up.
"I don't know Harry he's certainly better than a certain ferret."
"How many times must I tell you 'Mione I didn't have a crush on Ma… the ferret!" Harry quickly corrected. It would be odd if he said Malfoy, so she was glad he caught himself. Harry slipping like this however told her that Sirius was rattling him a lot more than he was letting on.
"The ferret?"
"A boy we knew."
"You guys never say names. It's a bit odd."
"It's a life we left behind. There's no going back for us."
The look on her face told James to drop it and he just sighed. He'd gotten used to her being cryptic. Yet he still seemed determined to try and get to know her. Hermione understood why he was frustrated, but she was too afraid that saying names of people they knew, even those who hadn't been born yet or maybe especially them, would end up revealing where they were from.
Right now, only Andromeda was going to be brought in. Harry and her were still working out how to arrange a meeting with her, without it seeming odd. They just hadn't figured out a good enough reason yet.
Of course Hermione knew that Harry wanted to tell James, Charlus, and Dorea at the least. He'd really bonded with the Potters in the months that he'd gotten to know them. Hermione could see the pain on his face from lying to them, but she also knew he understood why they had to. If Teddy hadn't been a factor, Hermione was certain Harry would have told them already. It's just Teddy was too young to protect himself, meaning Harry would do everything in his power to keep him safe, Harry didn't want Teddy to grow up the way they did.
"So Harry's always been bad at romantic feelings?" Lily asked a smirk on her face.
"At admitting them, even to himself, but once he accepts it, he gets quite sweet at times. Although still oblivious. There was a moment when he made plans with me on Valentine's Day for lunch but couldn't see why the girl he was with was upset. Most people didn't realize that we'd always seen each other as siblings, so all she saw was that he was willing to leave her to go see me."
All of the girls just shared looks shaking their heads at Harry before Marlene spoke, "I think Sirius and James did that the one year. James went on a date with Olivia Lovegood, at the insistence of everyone wanting to stop him from professing his love to Lily, Sirius was on a date with me, and the two decided that they needed to meet at 2 to start setting up a Valentine prank. It was 4th year, before Sirius was practically adopted by the Potters, and there were a few rumors that Sirius was in love with James. Some people even believed that James was so insistent with Lily because he was hiding how he felt about Sirius.
"The looks on their faces when they heard the rumors that they two of them were secretly a couple, I'd never seen such disgust on their faces. The two of them stood up in the Great Hall with Peter, they were going to make an unbreakable vow that they would never have romantic feelings for each other, that they were brothers in all but blood. Professor McGonagall was fuming when she realized what they were doing, she even called Dorea into the school. It was priceless seeing her yell at the two of them for their absolute stupidity, she told them if they ever tried to do something that stupid again that Sirius wouldn't be allowed to visit. Dorea hated saying it, but she needed to convince them that what they had done was reckless."
"Yeah never get Ma Dorea upset. James and I learned our lesson, but our point was also made. No one thought that either of us was in love with the other after that. Although for a while people tried to say that James was secretly crushing on Snape, it's what led to us being so cruel to him after O. , James truly did hate Snape back then."
After that they just kept swapping more stories, but Hermione just ended up drifting off to sleep.
AN: Sorry it took so long. I had 80% already written, but it took a while to get the ending of the dialogue. Hope you enjoy.
