Chapter 9

One evening Matt and Kitty were sitting in their parlor. Kitty was rocking the baby and Matt was reading the paper. KItty was gazing down at the baby, when she turned towards Matt.

"Matt, do you ever wonder if Abby looks more like her birth mother or her birth father? Does she have her mother's eyes, her father's hair color? Who's chin does she have? I don't know why I think about this. I look at her and just wonder about these things," said Kitty.

Matt had stopped reading and looked at Kitty. He didn't have to wonder who Abby looked like. She was the spitting image of her mother. He figured that Mike probably looked exactly like Abby when she was a baby.

"I guess I never really thought about it. Abby's our daughter, we love her, and I figured that's all that really matters," Matt replied.

"You know something. You're right. We're a family, and that's what's important. I better get this little one to bed," Kitty said as she got up from the rocking chair and walked into their bedroom. Abby's cradle was still in their room. Kitty wasn't quite ready to have Abby in her own room yet.

Matt knew by not saying anything to Kitty he was digging his own grave. The longer he kept her in the dark about everything the deeper his grave became. He should've just come forward when that letter arrived. But no, he had been a coward.

His guilt started to affect his performance as a husband and as a father. Kitty was starting to notice this. Matt was a great husband and a great father, but there was something different about him. It was almost as if he was walking on eggshells around her and the baby. She started to fear that maybe he regretted cutting back on being Marshall and then marrying her and adopting Abby. Afraid of what she might hear if she confronted him, she decided to talk to the one other person she completely trusted, Doc.

"Matt, I'm going to ride into town and visit Doc. You don't mind, do you?" asked Kitty.

"Are you okay? You're not sick are you?" Matt asked, worry covering his face.

"Nothing like that," Kitty quickly answered. "I love being Abby's mommy and being with her, but sometimes it's nice to get out of the house, without having to worry about a baby. Will you be okay with her?"

"Kitty, Abby and I will be fine. You go enjoy yourself. Have a drink with Doc. Have one for me," Matt responded. "I'll get the wagon ready for you."

"I was just going to ride my mare. If you'd get her ready to ride, that would be great," Kitty said.

"It'll be my pleasure," said Matt as he headed out to the horse barn.

Mare ready, Kitty rode into town to go and see the man she thought of as a father. Arriving at Doc's office, Kitty tied her mare to a hitching post outside his office and walked up the stairs to his office. She knocked on the door, just in case Doc had a patient. Doc answered the door.

"Kitty, It's so nice to see you. What brings you here?" Doc asked. Suddenly his mood changed. "Is everything okay? Is Abby okay? Do I need to get my bag?" Doc rambled on.

"Everyone is fine. Abby is perfectly healthy and happy," Kitty reassured Doc. "I just need to talk to you, ask you a question."

"Here, have a seat," Doc said as he pulled up a chair for her. "Tell me what's bothering you. Before you say nothing, I can tell that something is."

"Doc, you know me so well. It's Matt." Doc wasn't expecting that answer. He remained quiet and let Kitty continue. "I've been noticing changes in him these last few weeks. When we first got married, everything seemed so perfect. Now things seem… I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. He almost seems really nervous around the baby. I'm afraid to ask him about it. I don't want him to confess that he regrets the choices he made. I'm scared that when he looks at Abby and me, he feels resentment."

"Kitty, I'm sure that Matt does not regret any of the choices he's made in regards to you and Abby. I'm sure it's the nerves from being a new husband and a new father. They did both come at the same time. Most often there is time between the two, giving men time to adjust. Matt didn't have time to adjust," said Doc.

"Doc, I was in the same boat as Matt. The wedding and the family were instant for me too," Kitty responded with a bit of annoyance in her voice.

"I know Kitty. I'm not trying to excuse Matt's behavior. I'm only trying to offer a reason why he may be acting that way. I truly believe that women can adapt to changes sooner and much better than men can," said Doc. "You know I'm convinced that God could have babies ready to be born in six months. Yet he has them take that extra three months to give the fathers time to adjust. But Kitty, talk to him about how you feel. Communication is the key."

"Thank you, Doc. I needed someone to talk to. Don't worry. I'll go and talk to Matt," said Kitty. She got up, gave Doc a kiss on the cheek, and left his office.

Back at the house, Matt was walking around with his daughter propped up on his shoulder. Shortly after Kitty left, Abby woke up from her nap and had been fussy since. The only thing that pacified her was Matt rubbing her back and pacing around the parlor. He would have offered her a bottle, but he knew it was too early for her to eat. As Matt walked past the window, he saw Kitty returning from Doc's.

"Baby girl," he said looking at Abby. "Mommy's home."

Kitty put her mare in the barn and walked towards the house. She opened the door and took off her sun bonnet, placing it on the small table next to the door. She could see that Matt was trying to get Abby to settle down.

"Is there a problem with the little lady?" Kitty teased. It wasn't rare for Abby to wake up from her naps on the cranky side.

"She woke up a little on the irritable side. You don't think she's getting sick?" Matt asked.

"I'm sure she's fine. Sometimes she is fussy when she wakes up from her nap," Kitty responded. Kitty took Abby from Matt. Looking at Abby and then at Matt, Kitty continued. "Matt, we need to talk. I need for you to explain to me why you seem so edgy around me and the baby lately."

Matt knew it was now or never. His guilt over Mike, Mike's death, and the baby were making him edgy around Kitty and Abby, and he knew it. He needed to come clean about everything, before he risked losing everything.

"Kitty, there's something I have to tell you," Matt slowly said.

TBC