A/N: Hello! It's been a while again! I managed to injure my hand this month - or so I thought! Actually I pinched a nerve in my neck! I couldn't use the computer for about a week and a half and it slowed EVERYTHING down, but now I'm back ;D I think you'll like this chapter! I had the idea for it probably as long as half a year ago, but I just COULD NOT get it to work! Then I found a new angle and thank the merciful goddess Sappho, it worked! The next update for this story will likely be in the New Year, so I'll see you then :) Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!


Chapter 8: That's Amore


Sakura's the kind of person who makes you breakfast in bed for no reason. Being helpful is her religion. She brings me towels when I shower, helps me do my hair before public appearances, and even tucks me into my futon at night. She's like those housewives you see on TV. Always doing something for someone, and especially always doing shit for me, even though I don't do anything nearly as nice for her. It got to the point where it started to bother me. Like, how could I just sit there and accept all that kindness without doing something in return? I couldn't, that's the answer. Something needed to change. It was high time I did something for her too. Thing is, I didn't have a fucking clue what to do for her. So I asked around.

"Yo, Yugiri!"

The official sexiest member of Franchouchou was out smoking in the yard by herself. I just told her straight up, "I wanna do something nice for Sakura."

She gave me one of those looks of hers, the kind that lets you know she's seen right into your soul or some shit. Then she said Sakura would enjoy a home made meal for two. That sounded like a pretty sweet deal to me. There was only one problem: I can't cook.

In Yugiri's mind that wasn't a problem at all. A bag of pasta and a sheet of instructions later I was ready, sort of, to do the cooking. But I couldn't start while Sakura was in — if I did that she'd know for sure I was up to something. All my shit had to be done while everyone was at work, which wasn't for a while yet. It gave me some time, so I asked around some more.

"Ai, I'm cooking a meal for Sakura."

That raised her eyebrows.

"What's that look for?" I said, "I can cook! Sorta…"

Ai wasn't buying it, "Have you got candles?"

That didn't compute with me, "Candles…? Not to eat, right?"

"Of course not!"

"Well then why candles? The electricity works just fine, what would I need them for?"

"Decoration."

"Decoration huh… Don't you think that'd be too fancy?"

"You can never be too fancy."

So she sent me off with Junko to go find some fancy candles. Sure enough, in a cupboard under the stairs there was a whole box full of them. Plain white ones. Not exactly fancy, but not terrible either.

Junko was getting excited on my behalf, "I'm so glad you've finally noticed, Saki-san. Sakura-san will be so pleased."

I jammed a bag of candles under my arm, "Noticed what?"

Junko blinked. Then she blushed. Then she covered her mouth with her hands, "O-Oh… of course…"

"What? What the fuck is up with you and Ai today? You got some unresolved tension or something?"

But she wouldn't tell me jack shit.

Whatever, I thought, Important thing is I've got the candles now.

As far as I was concerned I was all set. Good to go. But Lily had other ideas.

"You need music!" she insisted, "Mood music!"

I rubbed my face with my palm, "This seems like a lot of stuff for a simple dinner."

Lily rested her hands on her hips, "You're the one that said you wanted to thank her. What kind of thank you would some badly cooked spaghetti be?"

"Excuse you! That spaghetti is gonna be well-cooked as fuck!"

Tutting, she walked off and began rifling through some drawers, "Let me find you something."

"Shrimpy you've seen Sakura. She gets embarrassed about every little thing. If I throw all this shit at her she's gonna faint before she takes even a single bite! Trust me, I know!"

She looked down her nose at me, "Oh you know, do you?"

"Yes!"

She handed me a CD called 'Romantic Accordion Music', "Use the pink CD player. The other one's busted."

"Yeah yeah."

And so I waited till everyone was gone, then I got down to work. Me and Tae. I asked Yugiri to help but she told me it needed to come from the heart, which I guess makes sense. It's not exactly a thank you from me if I get someone else to cook it. I had no choice but to dig deep and find the chef within myself. It wasn't exactly easy. In life I lived off of cup ramen and Drive-in Tori. Now, my mom was a good cook. Every night she insisted on making me watch her cook dinner. For my future husband, she said. Naturally, I didn't listen to a thing she said. So you can understand why, when the tomato sauce suddenly caught fire, I screamed, "YUGIRI! HELP!"

She tried everything she could, but the sauce was unrecoverable. We buried it in the yard in a wet patch where it couldn't set anything else on fire.

Yugiri smiled, "Let me handle the cooking."

I took her advice and started decorating the living room. I found an old table and an even older tablecloth. Tae dragged up some candle holders. One was a bit bent, but that was alright — it gave it a bit of an edge. We got everything ready, right down to the pink CD player. Pink like my old bike. My power colour.

Why do I feel so nervous?

Sakura and I had always been close, but it felt like we'd become so much closer over the last few months. I was always into her, right from the rap battle. How can you not be into a girl with that much fire in her? I'd been into straight girls before though. I knew how that went. So I held myself back. I'd been kidding myself, really. It's not like I could tell her though, tell her that I thought she was… you know… cute. It'd make things weird. Telling a girl she's hot is one thing, but cute… that's serious. That's not just 'let's fuck', you know? It's beyond. But even if I couldn't tell her that I thought she was special, even if she was just another straight crush, I still wanted to thank her. She meant the world to me, and she deserved to know it.

It was several hours from my spaghetti trial run till the time Sakura got back. I'd told the others, "Get in my way and you're dead," so I was assuming they'd fuck off until way into the evening. I didn't need Shades giving me shit while I tried to make Sakura feel special. That asshole is as dense as a block of cement.

Tae started getting antsy after the sun went down. That told me all I needed to know.

"Yo, big sis!" I called out to Yugiri, "Sakura will be here soon!"

"Understood!"

The sauce was sizzled, the candles were lit. I got myself ready. Now here I am in the hall, watching that door, watching the moonlight pool on the floorboards. Even I can feel her presence now. Two knocks, gentle knuckles on old wood. I walk towards the door like wading through deep water.

Shit, I realise, I'm actually into her, aren't I? Fuck.

There's a difference between knowing something and knowing something. You can know it in your head, tell yourself you know everything there is to know, but until you know it in your heart it isn't really true. It's just an idea. As I wrap my fingers around the door handle that little idea slips down from my head straight to my chest, melting my legs.

The door creaks open. Sakura's weary face greets me, pale blue under the night sky.

"Saki-chan," she says brightly, "You're back early."

"I took the day off."

Tae stands to attention at the living room door. Sakura gives her a warm hug.

"Did you take the day off too?"

"Hrgraahhhh…" she grunts in reply.

I can just about hear the music warbling in through the living room door. I slip past Sakura and slide it open. The music fills the hall and her eyes grow wide.

"Are those… candles?"

I grin, "Yep. And one of them's bent funny, too."

She notices. I guide her to her seat, and Tae guides me to mine.

"Saki-chan," Sakura asks, "What is all this? Where are the others?"

"They're also taking the day off."

"What…?"

"Except for Yugiri. I did try and do it by myself but uh… well, you know, everyone's got their strong points."

She squints in confusion, "Try to do…what, exactly…? I don't understand."

"Do you like the music?"

She glances at the pink CD player, "It sounds very French."

"Lily picked it. Romantic accordion music or something like that."

I grimace as soon as the words leave my mouth.

You shoulda left the romantic bit out, you moron. Now she'll think you're coming onto her.

She blushes, "Oh…"

Ah fuck.

Yugiri comes in to save my ass, bearing two plates of smoking hot pasta.

With a wink she says, "Bon appetit!"

"Thanks sis," I reply, "I owe you one."

For a second Sakura almost looks relieved, "Yugiri-chan! You'll be joining us?"

Yugiri just giggles and strolls out of the room, her arm interlocked with Tae's, "Have fun, you two."

The door closes with a final clunk, leaving Sakura and me alone with the tinny accordion music. My dinner partner stares at her plate in disbelief.

"Saki-chan… thank—"

"No no," I interrupt, "Thank you…! I feel like lately we've been spending a lot of time together, you and me. You're always helping me out, listening to me, setting me straight. Well, straight as I ever can be, am I right?"

That gets a weak laugh out of her, "Right…"

I lift my fork up. My hand is shaking.

Fuck. What the hell?

"I just," I hold my hand as still as I can, "wanted to thank you. You know? If I'm honest, I don't know where I'd be without you."

Sakura is stone still. Her pasta might as well not exist, "So all this… is to thank me?"

Her eyes sparkle in the flickering candlelight. I can feel my heart doing the can-can in my rotting chest, "Yeah…" I half-heartedly stab my pasta, "…exactly that."

We eat in silence. For the first time in forever I don't know what to say.

This is ridiculous.

I ask her, "How was work?"

"Oh, you know… the cows were well-behaved."

"I haven't squeezed a cow's udder since grade school."

Back to silence. Forks clink on plates. Sakura eats the pasta properly, rolling it up neatly before she puts it in her mouth. She still has her makeup on. It only takes one look at her to know she was made to be an idol. She's perfect.

I clear my throat, "Yugiri sure is a good cook, huh?"

"Mm."

"Can't go wrong with pasta."

"Mmhmm."

A blob of wax from the bent candlestick gloops onto the tablecloth.

I'm actually into her, for real. Like 'for real' for real.

I hear Reiko's voice, 'Sorry, I just don't see you that way'. I laughed it off at first, then I cried it off on the ride home. The girls I want most never want me back. I can feel that weight pulling down on me, dragging me under. Then my inner bitch pipes up.

Don't be a pussy. You miss every shot you don't take.

That's all I need. I force my voice into action, "Sakura—"

She looks right at me. I can see the blur of the candles in my peripheral vision.

"Sakura, I… you know… I really enjoy hanging out with you."

She leans forward in her seat. I feel a weird pressure on my shoulders. It's crazy, I've beaten hardened criminals within an inch of their lives, fled whole police squads night after night, nearly died, actually died (twice), and yet this, nothing more than honestly saying what I feel, always makes me quiver like a goddamn leaf. What a fucking idiot I am.

Sakura's voice cuts through my thoughts, "I'm sorry Saki-chan," the romantic accordion starts doing a metal solo, "I can't take it anymore."

I blink, "What?"

"I can't take it anymore!" she stands up, "If you don't love me then just say it! Stop teasing me! It's cruel!"

My jaw is on the table, "I… I… what? That's, hang on—"

"You keep saying all those things on the radio — you must know the letters are from me!"

"Which letters!? Slow down!"

"All the times you came home and smiled at me and told me that I make you feel welcome, all the times we got so close, so close and you looked at me like you really thought I was beautiful, and then—"

I jump to my feet, knocking my chair over, "Well that's cos I do think you're beautiful, dumbass! Have you seen yourself?"

"Give me a break!" Sakura spits, and I know it's wrong, but god DAMN is she hot when she's angry, "You're literally the definition of beautiful! Everything about you is perfect!"

"Bullshit! I just sit on my ass and poke fun at people. You, on the other hand, spend every waking moment helping the other girls out! You haven't got a bad bone in your body! You're an angel, that's what you are! You act like an angel, you look like an angel — there's no one Earth more perfect than you!"

Suddenly she looks flustered, "W-Well, well… if you thought all that, why did you never say it!?"

I lower my voice, "Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why. Sakura," I walk round the table, "I'm into you. Big time. I've always thought you were pretty. Always. But I also thought you were straight."

"How…?"

I scratch the back of my head, "My gaydar isn't what it used to be, I guess."

"Lily says your gaydar is broken."

"Lily can go fuck herself."

Sakura giggles gently, "Well, your gaydar can't be all that bad. You set all this up after all," she gestures to the table and the CD player, "It's beautiful, Saki-chan."

I smile, "I'm not elegant, but I try. Also, the others kinda helped me out."

"I'll have to thank them."

"Maybe," I say, slipping my hand into hers, "We should thank 'em together."

She's still got the giggles, "I must be dreaming."

For a moment I forget to reply. I'm too lost in her eyes. I can just about see her forehead scar underneath her makeup, and it's beautiful, just like the rest of her.

"Saki-chan?"

"Hm? Oh, hah, yeah, it's crazy."

I never even imagined I could have Sakura. She's so perfect, I just pretended to myself that there was no chance. I thought she'd be like Reiko, but now I wonder if I ever really believed that. Maybe I was afraid. If I'm honest, I still am. How could I ever be good enough for someone like this? She's so pure. I'm the mud the diamond sits in. I'm never the diamond. But looking into her eyes now, for the first time ever I feel like a diamond, even if only for a moment.

She cups my cheek, "We've barely started on this pasta."

I move closer, "Tae and Yugiri can have it."

She parts her mischievous lips just slightly, "Good idea."


The next morning I make a point of letting the others know, "Me and Sakura are an item now. I know it might be a shock to some of you, but she's into me and I am definitely into her."

I wait for my applause. None comes. Lily voices her opinion, "The only one surprised here is you."

I point at her, "Can it, Shrimpy! What do you know about love?"

"I starred in plenty of romantic dramas!"

Junko jumps in, "I think it's beautiful, Saki-san. I'm so glad you and Sakura-san are finally together."

I grin, "Me too."

Ai folds her arms, "I am happy for you Saki, but I'm mostly happy for Sakura."

"I'll take it."

Shades sighs, "You called us all into the living room for this…?"

I give him a death stare. He doesn't say any more. Sakura gets up and stands beside me, "Thank you guys for helping us. I don't think we'd be together if not for you."

That gets a warm response. After a round of thank yous and you're welcomes Shades clears his throat and says, "This is nice and all, but don't forget about your part time jobs. This debt won't pay off itself!"

Way to go kill the mood, asshole.

I make a mental note to kick him in the balls later.


Friday night comes around like always.

"Good evening and welcome to 'So Saga Can Be Saga'! I'm your host, Franchouchou's own Number Two, along with Number Six and the unforgettable Zero," I rifle through the notes the guys in the back have left me. I'm not gonna use any of them, but they don't know that. Yet.

"I did have a plan for tonight," I say, giving them an indirect warning, "But something special happened this week. Something real special. I got myself a girlfriend."

Lily pinches the bridge of her nose. Tae watches me expectantly.

"I'm declaring it to the whole world. Me and Number One are dating! That's right baby, Franchouchou's center is now officially off limits. If I see any of you wiseguys trying something funny at one of our photo ops," I smirk for no one in particular, "I'll send you on a one way trip to hell."

Lily leans closer to her mic, "But the real topic of our show today is—"

"Love," I interrupt, "That's right, Shrimpy," she glares at me, "You know, love is one of those things that when you read about it just seems like some mushy crap for normies. But when it happens to you, when you fall into it, man it's like nothing else on Earth."

Lily sighs audibly.

"Love completes you," I continue, "Fills you up in ways you never even imagined. Maybe this is what those religious nutjobs feel when they pray to god."

Lily clears her throat, "We appreciate all our fans, whatever their religious denomination."

"I feel like the way I worship Number One is similar to how people worship god."

"Number Two, please—"

"I praise every inch of—"

Suddenly my mic is snatched away by Lily's tiny hands. In a sweet voice she says, "Whoops! Almost forgot about the commercial break! We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors!"

I scowl, "What the fuck, Shrimpy?"

"You are NOT gonna talk about sex on air again!"

I roll my eyes, "I was gonna be subtle about it."

"You can't do subtle."

Tae puts her hand over the mic and gives me a serious look, "Grurrh."

I lean back in my chair, "Well alright. If Tae agrees. I'll keep my mouth shut for now."

Tae nods. A few minutes later we're back on air. I talk about Saga's aging population and cut a promo for a local bicycle store. Lily does a bit about some volunteering she's been doing. After I close the show out they play an ad for dog biscuits featuring Tae and Romero. Romero refused to bark during the recording session, so in the end they used Tae's barking instead. Romero's on all the posters though.

That dog's as crazy as his owner.

Tae, on the other hand, is always reliable. She offers me some dried squid as we sit in the back of Shades's van.

"Thanks," I say, accepting the gift. Dried squid isn't as good as fried chicken but it sure hits the spot.

Beyond the van's tinted window the streetlights float by slowly, blobs of white in the darkness. The engine's quiet purr fills my ears along with the muted sound of Tae's chewing. I peer around the seat in front of me. On the left hand side, Lily swings her legs back and forth, lost in a daydream. At the wheel, Shades also looks like he's in a daydream. But then, he always does.

He's such a fucking idiot.

But I wouldn't be where I am without him. For better or worse, he's the one that brought me back from the dead. He's the one that brought Sakura back, too. Strange to think that we'd never have met if I hadn't died. I'd have been a lonely bisexual forever. Probably.

I snicker to myself. Saki the lonely biker. Travelling the highway picking up cute girls. It'd make a good TV show.

Now I'm being an idiot.

We soon arrive back at our decomposing zombie house. I get out of the van first, as always. The front door is open before I even get there. I see her in the doorway, her hair quivering in the wind.

I say the first thing that comes to mind, "Damn you're beautiful."

That shy smile. She reaches for me, arms wrapped round the back of my neck. I feel her breath on my lips and I kiss her.

With a glint in her eyes she tells me, "Welcome home."

Home. I never had a real home when I was alive. I just drifted from prefecture to prefecture looking for somewhere to belong. Yet here I am, back in Saga, a burnt-up torn-up reanimated corpse, more at home than I've ever been before.

I caress Sakura's cheek, "I love you, you know that?"

She gives me the faintest nod. The wind howls at my back through the open door. I hear footsteps running through the mud. Playtime's over. I give Sakura one last peck on the lips.

"I'm gonna hit the showers. See you in my futon in five?"

"You're tired already?"

I wink, "Who said anything about sleeping?"

She tuts in mock frustration, "Saki-chan! Honestly!"

I rush past her, "Just kidding! Unless…?"

Her reply is muffled behind the stomping of Lily, Tae and the grand poobah himself. The terrible trio's bickering fades away as I step out back and drag off my clothes.

With ice cold hose water numbing my tits I declare to the sky, "Damn it feels good to be dead!"