TRIGGER WARNING : BREAKDOWNS, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEATH, SCHIZOPRENIA, PTSD, AND OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS. PLEASE STOP READING AT ANY TIME THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.


"What's the harm in playing?"

"We're playing it, that's the harm."

"Oh come on, never played hide and seek before?"

*.*.*.*.*.*

I woke up to a white room, my body attached to several machines. A persistent one that rhythmically beeped every two seconds. My head ached as I opened my eyes, my vision completely blurred. I heard voices as I struggled to try and hear it.

Waking up alone in a room, attached to what I thinks is a life support, without any memory of anything happening prior was starting to settle in my brain. What the hell was going on?

I breathed even harder, beginning to panic completely.

Why was am I in a hospital?

Why was am I alone?

Hell, how did I even end up here?

My teeth began to rattle against each other as I panicked and tried to sit up, sending a jolt of pain right through my lower parts.

"Doc!" I heard someone call, but I didn't know who it was. I couldn't see properly. "Hey." The voice said again, closer this time. I felt a hand on her shoulder, which I desperately swatted away. "Hey come on, you can't get up."

Two hands now held my shoulders and I was now being pushed down back onto the bed. Fighting with whatever strength I seemed to have, no matter how little, I struggled.

"Doc!" The voice called again, a lot louder this time.

I screamed.

I kept screaming at the top of my lungs I was sure I was damaging my throat. She felt more hands around her.

I don't like it.

I screamed even harder, my voice already starting to cut off as I felt a pinch on my arm and I blacked out almost immediately.

*.*.*.*.*.*

The next I woke up, I was a lot better. I could finally see clearly, move my body, limited but I could, and I could see two doctors (a man and a woman) talking right beside my bed. I tried to speak but felt my throat itch and ache. The female doctor looked at me and smiled, whispering something to the other doctor. The man looked at me before turning back.

"I'll leave you to it." He said before leaving the room, gently sliding the door behind him.

"Hello Lucy." The woman said familiarly. Her gentle voice clear as day in my ears.

"Who are you?" I muttered out, hoarse.

"My name's Dr. Marvell, I'm the hospital's chief of psychiatry." She patted her gown before sitting down on one of the sofas. "How are you feeling today?"

I looked at her, fully awake. She then glanced at the door. "Was the other doctor my physician?"

"Yes, he is. Dr. Bryan." She answered me.

"Then why are you asking me instead of him?"

Dr. Marvell kept silent for a moment before answering me hesitantly. "We thought it might be a good idea for you to see me first. After what happened earlier, it's just protocol."

"Why do I need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist?"

"Ah." She smiled. "Let me ask you first, what is the last thing you remember?"

I bit my lip. "I was driving home on Monday, I have a mock exam on Wednesday." I answered quietly. "I wasn't speeding, I was driving in the exact limit, I was-"

"Lucy, you're not here because of a car accident."

"Then why?" I looked around again. "Where's my father? Does he know I'm here?"

Dr. Marvell blinked. "Your father had some business to attend to."

"I…" I need my father, I wanted to say. But did I really need him here? Tears pooled in her eyes. "What happened to me…?" I sobbed.

The doctor's eyes squinted in pity before she shook it off. "Let's talk about how you're feeling first, before we get to that. Would that be alright with you, Lucy?"

I nodded.

"Okay then." Dr. Marvell grabbed a clipboard that was resting on the table beside her bed. "Before you woke up, or any memories that you remember prior to waking up, has there been any pressure on you lately? School or social?"

"No."

"Have you ever expressed any desire of running away from your home?"

"Yeah."

"Why is that?"

My fingers played with the buttons of the hospital bed, refusing to answer. I pressed one button, levering my upper body up to a sitting position.

"Lucy, this is an evaluation. Anything you say here, will be confidential. It's mandated by law." She assured me. "I promise you, nothing will get out of this room."

"I never had to see a psychiatrist before."

"I understand that."

I was quiet for a moment, judging the doctor with peering eyes before I spoke. "I always wanted to leave the house. To run away and live my own life. To be independent, I dreamed of it. I didn't want to be with my dad anymore because he's a piece of crap. I want to go somewhere where I can be free."

Dr. Marvell nodded. "I see." She wrote some things down on the board. "Now Lucy, the next question I'm about to ask you might a bit… too much. But I need you to be honest with me, would that be okay with you?"

I nodded.

"Have you ever, thought of hurting yourself?"

My eyes widened as I shook her head vigorously. "No!" I was scared. "Why, why would you ask me that?"

"It's just protocol Lucy." Dr. Marvell answered calmly. "Is your head alright?"

Instinctively, my hand reached for my forehead, and that's where I felt the thick bandage wrapped around my head. I kept feeling around it.

"It would be best if you don't any pressure on it." Dr. Marvell said and looked back at her clipboard. "While you were asleep, were you dreaming of anything?"

"I… I don't know." I looked down on my hands again. "Look all I remember is I was driving home, and then I was home. I think I fell asleep, and I woke up here."

Dr. Marvell's eyes fell onto the my hands, observing it. "Do you even play with your fingers when your starting to panic?"

"What?' I gripped my fingers. "Is that bad?"

"Oh no. Its just observation." She put her pen down, and laid the clipboard back on the table. "Sometimes Lucy our mind has a way of protecting us from things we don't want to remember. We'll often just forget about it, and we remember it when our own mind feels like we're ready." Dr. Marvell explained carefully. "Were you having problems, or were you trying to resolve one?"

"Not that I know of."

The doctor nodded. "Alright then, what about your friends? Was there anything that they did to make you feel any different?"

"They're good. Arana is my best friend, she often sneaks into my room, we party a lot. Then there's Angel, who for some reason sticks to her like a leech and gives me the evil eye every time she sees me. I don't know what Arana sees in her."

"Do you feel anger that Angel is in your circle of friends?"

"I don't feel angry at all, just annoyed."

Dr. Marvell took a breath. "Lucy, it's protocol that we keep you here for a few days, for observation, to see if anything else changes."

"….What's happening to me?" I asked quietly.

"How do you feel about taking some meds?"

"What for?"

"It would help make you feel better, it'll help you sleep, and it would help you calm down in situations where you would normally panic."

"Why do I need that?"

"You wouldn't need to take it if you don't want to." She assured her. "But for now, seeing as your in this condition, you'll be prescribed a lower dosage. If anything changes the next few days, we'll go from there." She stood up, tucking the clipboard under her arm. "I should get Dr. Bryan in here for a physical." Dr. Marvell looked at me one more time. "I'll check up on you after two days."

"Dr. Marvell." I called just as she was opening the door. "Am I okay?"

The woman looked back at her. "Do you feel okay?"

"I don't know."

She smiled. "We'll work on it." She said before leaving the room. As soon as she did, the male doctor entered my room.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"Miss Lucy, I brought you some clothes." Capricorn, my personal butler, came into my room a bag full of fresh clothes and essentials that I needed for a week.

"I didn't know you were here Capricorn." I answered quietly as the man laid the bag of clothes on the table. "My father?"

"He's… in a meeting."

"I see." She looked down again. "I can't take this."

"I apologize Miss Lucy. I already talked to the receptionist about upgrading you to a better suite."

"I don't care about that." I looked at pale white man. "Tell me what happened to me." I spoke as Capricorn was laying a box of yellow tulips, arranged adorably, on the table. "Are those from Arana?"

Yellow Tulips were Arana's favorite. I liked orchids, no matter what occasion, Arana would always bring her yellow tulips.

"Where is she?"

"These are from miss Webb's parents."

"Well, where's Arana? Does she even know I'm here?"

When Capricorn didn't answer, I forced herself to sit up. "Capricorn, I've had enough of people tip toeing around me. No one has answered any of my questions since I woke up, fucking hell I don't even know what day it is."

"It's Monday, miss Lucy."

"And last thing I can remember is Monday."

"It's a different Monday."

I blinked. A different Monday? I've been out for an entire week? Just what the hell happened to me?

"Give me your phone." I demanded. "I need to call Arana."

"Miss Lucy-"

"Now, Capricorn!" It was rare for me to be aggravated and demanding. It was rare for me to even be yelling so angrily at my servants, who had done nothing but treat me with the utmost respect, and behind my father's back, treat me like a daughter.

"Miss Lucy, she was with you." Capricorn answered carefully. "Miss Webb, miss Agria, and sir Shields were with you before you got here."

I felt my breathing quicken. I felt bile rising up in my throat. And she felt the same nervousness creeping its way back up to my chest.

"What happened to me Capricorn?" I asked, my voice straight and cold that it was even scaring my fearless butler.

"You snuck out of the mansion in the middle of the night with your friends. Police called the morning after, a floor in the building were in collapsed. They didn't find you until the next night, since it was too dangerous for the search and rescue team to enter."

"Oh my God." I felt my head ache. I held my forehead in one hand, the other in my mouth. "Oh my God, Arana, is she okay?"

Fuck Angel and Dan, where the hell was Arana?

"She's dead, Miss Lucy. They all are."

I felt my entire world collapse.