A/N:
SURPRISE! Merry Christmas! This is my short and sweet holiday gift to all my wonderful readers. Thank you so much for your new reviews- they caught my attention so I had to create something for you. I always wanted to expand on what happened in Chapter 9 and write a Damon POV (please re-read that one if you need a refresher- this has a flashback scenario) and I include a fun plot twist that totally relates to Bonnie after she wakes up from that dream! No wonder her feelings were on fire ;)
Damon POV is always my favorite to write because he's such a complex character who never truly divulges how he's feeling. I love pulling the curtain back and showing more of him.
If you love this I MIGHT just write a couple more short stories to expand on other moments if you would like to request some! Thank you for supporting me as always… - Katie.
…
"If we're really doing this, if you want to make this work- you have to promise me one thing."
Damon didn't hesitate to answer.
"Anything," he said.
"No secrets." Bonnie's voice flitted, light and melodious. "There can't be any secrets between us. If I'm building a life with you, we have to trust each other completely. Can you do that?"
He smiled. "Yes. I can do that."
Bonnie's eyes surveyed him closely. "What's with that expression?" she asked. "Are you already hiding something?"
He kissed the back of her hand as they strolled side by side.
"Do you remember the first time I told you I love you?"
Bonnie nodded in response.
"Well," he sighed. "What if I told you I wasn't the first?"…
Damon Salvatore had a secret…
When it was created, when it was brand new, he held it close to him as if it were fragile as glass. He examined the texture of it, the soft edges, the way it created a sensation in him that was obscure yet tolerable. Butterflies would erupt in his stomach as he observed it on an endless loop in his mind, round and round like a broken record. The voices that accompanied it echoed and caught his attention at strange times of the day. Occasionally, he would sit alone and contemplate the complexity of it. The part that bothered him the most was its sheer existence. How could it be possible?
Now, after so much time had elapsed, the secret itself had settled and lived peacefully in the recesses of his thoughts. It made a home there. It turned into a precious memory, a coveted moment forever frozen in place. It was like sliding a bookmark in-between the pages of your favorite story, unwilling to only read it once. Like pressing pause on your favorite song just so you could rewind it over and over again and relive it for the first time. It was genuine and unfiltered. It was a beautiful watercolor painting he admired. It was a gift.
It was a secret he needed to share with Bonnie. If she searched for truths, the secret he held was the truest of them all. And, if it felt special cherishing it alone, it would only enhance it further if he were to bring it into the light.
If he closed his eyes, he could see it like it was yesterday…
"We should really get some sleep. I've been making major progress with my magic and I need the rest."
"You're right, we should. No more pillow talk tonight, huh?"
"Right," she nodded. "Good night Damon."
"Good night Bon."
Damon could sense the awkwardness in the air when Bonnie curled in a ball and turned away from him. The tension between them was palpable these days, and once Bonnie started sleeping in his bed with him to ward off nightmares, things naturally began to escalate.
It was innocent and playful to tell stories and laugh together until they fell asleep, but when their faces were close enough to touch, it was nearly impossible to not think impure thoughts. Night after night Damon knew they were fighting urges, fighting against themselves, to remain neutral. To remain friends.
He let out a loud sigh as he flipped to lay on his back, staring up into nothingness. The room was pitch black and his senses were on overload.
Though it had only been a few minutes since they bid each other good night, he could tell Bonnie had fallen asleep as her heartrate had leveled and slowed. Prior to that, her heart was beating as fast as a racehorse.
His head automatically turned her direction and he frowned, unhappy that he had upset her in some way. He propped his head on his fist and continued to stare.
"What do you expect me to do?" he whispered, not expecting a response. "How do I make this better?"
Bonnie breathed quietly as she slumbered, slightly stirring, as if she heard his voice.
"Truthfully, it would probably be fine if you went back to your own bed," he nodded, talking to himself. "I think you've worked past your nightmares. Plus, I could use the leg room. You're clingy."
The bed shifted as Bonnie turned in her sleep, lowly clearing her throat.
His eyes softened. "But who am I kidding? I think we both know I would never kick you out of here."
Damon went still as his senses informed him her body was slowly sneaking closer, somehow seeking him out, as if he were beckoning her.
He held his breath and chose to not move away as he felt wisps of her hair touch his hand that wasn't holding up his head. This came as no surprise, as Bonnie moved in her sleep nightly. It didn't matter if she curled up and away from him. By morning, she was usually in his arms. Damon didn't think it was a conscious choice either of them decided. Just like magnets, they were drawn to each other- equally unwilling to be separated.
"Damon…"
His ears perked up at the soft calling of her voice. He knew she wasn't awake as her breathing hadn't changed.
"Talking in your sleep again, hm?" he mused, smiling. Bonnie often talked in her sleep. Damon was tempted to tease her on several occasions, but thought better of it. Just one look in those brown eyes of hers could send him into a tailspin.
He adjusted the comforter to cover her shoulders as she continued to mumble. She accepted the gesture, nestling deeper into the blanket. Damon wondered if constant vivid dreams was primarily a witch thing or just a Bonnie thing.
"Damon, please…"
Her voice was breathless. If he were a human he would have never heard it.
He raised a brow. "Do you usually dream of me, Bennett?"
She huddled in closer to him, her head nearly touching his chest. He could tell she was in the middle of a conversation as her mumbling paused every few seconds as if registering a response.
He could have easily gone to sleep and ignored her, but something felt different this time. It was almost as if he was watching a movie and was waiting for the climax of the scene.
He debated using his vampire speed to light a candle and jump right back in bed without her noticing, so he could soak in every expression on her face. But with the chance it would wake her up, he decided he wouldn't. He wanted to play this out to see how it ends.
"You don't understand…" she said.
He bit his lip. Understand what?
Damon could sense her heart skip a beat as her demeanor became restless as she tossed and turned. He held his hands up and away from her as she decided where to land, her body aching to feel comfortable.
Bonnie was turned away from him again, the spot next to him growing colder with every second of her absence. Damon swore the temperature in the room dropped without her breath heating his skin.
She was still mumbling, her tone almost desperate.
He sat up with a dissatisfied 'hmph'.
"If you want to argue with me, all you have to do is wake up and we can do that right here," he insisted, his voice light. Though Damon was becoming impatient, he still didn't want to wake her.
Bonnie continued on like that for several agonizing minutes, until at last she flipped on her side, and Damon knew even in the darkness she was facing him again.
Her hand settled on top of his, and she squeezed it, her warmth radiating into him.
Damon was still sitting up and he gulped, panicked at the unexpected skin contact.
"Listen to me…" she murmured.
Was she struggling to make some type of confession?
Damon wondered how the dream version of himself was handling this. It appeared to be an intense conversation, and if not intense- maybe passionate?
Bonnie wasn't angry. Or frightened. He could tell by her tone. He could tell by the steady pulse in her neck. By the way she held his hand…
In his ruminations he hadn't noticed the closeness of her proximity to his lap, her head nestled against his thigh. She had moved over their joined hands, her cheek pressing on top of them.
"Damon…"
Her voice was laced with something he couldn't quite detect.
"I have to tell you…"
Damon was silent as she burrowed into his side, letting go of his hand to wrap her arms around his leg.
He leaned backward into the headboard in search of a cool surface to distract from the heat she provided, a heat that made him dizzy.
"What are you trying to say?" he whispered, his arm resting on her back. "What's got you bent out of shape?"
It suddenly occurred to him that he had been eavesdropping on a private conversation, and he almost regretted crossing the line, though he could contend it involved him.
"No turning back now," he shrugged. "Not when you're calling my name."
Bonnie sighed. Damon listened as her heartbeat slowed to the rate it was earlier in the night, and her urgency seemed to fade. Her grip on his leg loosened.
"What? That's it?" he muttered. Damon was perplexed at her sudden change in behavior.
"Did something happen? Are you okay?" his voice remained soft with a twinge of concern.
They sat quietly without moving for what felt like a century until Damon decided to throw in the towel and call it a night.
He couldn't help but feel disappointment at the lack of conclusion. Bonnie seemed bound and determined to get a message across, and for whatever reason, she didn't deliver it.
"But what if she did?" he thought aloud. Damon carefully slid downward as to not disturb her, her head snuggling its way to his chest. "What if she told me in the dream?"
He nodded, satisfied with that answer. Whatever she had to say, it was done. He was glad she had found peace.
He closed his eyes with a relieved sigh. It was so quiet, and he was grateful his mind had finally finished running in circles.
Damon was seconds away from slumber when a soft voice, clear and steady, rang out in the darkness.
"I love you…"
His eyes sprung open.
The voice spoke even softer. "Damon…"
He was speechless, his mouth stripped of any moisture, as he stared at the woman in his arms. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard himself wishing again in vain to see a glimpse of her face.
His nerve-endings sparked like he was attached to an electrical socket. Every impulse in his body screamed at him to scramble, to run. To escape.
This can't be real. This can't be real…
But Damon didn't move.
Instead, he let go of his control.
He listened.
"I love you…" Bonnie murmured.
Damon Salvatore surrendered.
