You come down the stairs of the Mystery Shack, the robe over your pajamas just barely sliding off one of your shoulders. You see the scientific stud of your dreams sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over a story you had written up years ago. You had been dating for a few months now, and you had finally decided to take your relationship to the next level, if you get my drift. You wanted your first time to be something akin to what you had written up, and you were hoping to get your man in the mood.

You happened to be a writer in your spare time while working a full-time job as an assistant to Shandra Jimenez, a real news reporter. By day, you go around town gathering the latest news in Gravity Falls, type them up into a script, and forward it to the prompter above the camera for her to read. This has helped you develop your creative side by night, however. Every time you get off work, you start writing fanfictions of the mature, romantic genre. You've read other people's fanfics on the internet on top of your job, and both have actually done a decent job in expanding not just your creativity, but also your vocabulary; both are important. And, oh, how each and every scenario came to mind as your fingers flew over the keys of your computer. You ended up writing different scenarios that came to your mind. So many stories, so many scenarios, so many positions (if you know what I mean).

You walk up to your man, the glare of his glasses hiding his eyes as he looked through the various papers and stories from your laptop. Then he averts his gaze to you, giving a smirk before getting up from the table. You notice him holding a few dozen pages in his hands, and you realize that he chose the one where both end up spooning in a secluded area of the woods. Is that what he chose? You heard some of his stories of wanting to go on various adventures, but also his interesting stories of how he traveled dimensions. Would your first time be in a forest dimension? Is that where he really wanted to lose his virginity with you? He walks over to you and takes a deep breath. It was time for him to make his decision, and you anxiously awaited him to tell you.

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-/ WARNING! LEMON SCENE IN 3… 2… 1… /-

"Alright, I've been thinking," Ford began, "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade."

"Yeah." Dipper nodded.

"Make life take the lemons back!" he continued.

"Yeah!" Soos cheered.

"Get mad!"

"Yeah!" Mabel cheered as well.

"I don't want your darn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?!" he shouted while throwing the lemons down on the ground.

"Yeah, take the lemons!" his brother, Stan, chimed in.

"Demand to see FanFiction's manager! Make FanFiction Dot Net™ rue the day it thought it could give Stanford Pines lemons!"

"Oh, I like this guy!" Wendy commented, giving Dipper a high-five.

"Do you know who I am?!" he exclaimed as he pointed to the lemons on the table and on your laptop, "I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get the writers of Gravity Falls to write a combustible lemon THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

"Burn their house down!" a floating triangle with one eye and a top hat that came out of nowhere chimed in, then went to the kids, "Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"

You now think you should see other people.

THE END

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A/N: What were you guys expecting? Smut? That's not my style. I'm more of a sci-fi fantasy writer. Of course, I'd occasionally write something romantic in whatever I write, but I don't go that far.

Anyways, hope you guys thought this was funny. If you thought it was, leave a like and review, and share it with your friends. Have a happy April Fools Day, everyone. I'll hopefully post some more soon on my current work, Sonic Chronicles: The Light Brigade.

Later, guys! And remember: Reality's an illusion! The universe is a hologram! Buy gold! BYE! XD