Pokémon Police Force Chapter 17: From the Serpent's Mouth
"Gotta love that desert air!" Said Sal, the Salazzle, happily, "it's sweet. Sandy and gritty, sure, but sweet all the same!"
We had just escaped the prison known as the Burning Sands, but not out of the frying pan just yet. The sand and sun were scorching and I was soon perspiring all over.
"Let's just… find an… an oasis," I panted.
"Argyle?"
"I… hot… thirsty…"
I fell to the sand desperately short on breath. Sal pressed a hand to my cheek.
"Oh no! You're burning up! For even me to feel it…"
I closed my right eye and desperately looked for an oasis.
"There" I said pointing roughly at 4 'o clock, "an oasis. Over a few… dunes…"
"I don't know how you know that, but I don't care."
Sal picked me up and began carrying me piggyback.
"You be the eyes. I'll be the feet."
Sal moved as fast as she could over the sand. The sun burned as she carried me.
"You cannot die."
Zygarde's words repeated themselves over and over in my head. I knew my life was in no danger, but the heat was crippling and disorienting. I opened my eyes after a while and seen an angel, robed in white. My salvation. A cactus.
I wrestled myself free of Sal and ran to the cactus.
"Argyle, wha-?"
"Shadow Claw!"
With finesse, I cut off the top of the cactus. The top, like a bowl fell onto the sand with a small portion of water trapped inside. I picked it up and brought it to my lips.
"NO!" Screamed Sal, slapping it from my claws.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CRAZY BI-!"
"SAVING YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT!"
Saving my life? What was she going on about?
"Saving my life?"
"Look at that cactus juice. It's murky."
"So?"
"Only ever drink cactus juice if it's clear. Any other color and it acts as a powerful narcotic."
"So, drinking that would've made me high?"
"That's an understatement," said Sal, "being high in the desert is just a recipe for disaster."
I collapsed onto my back in the sand.
"I hate the desert."
Sal looked up into the sky and began waving.
"Sal, what are you doing?"
Before long, a Mandibuzz flew down and lighted upon the sand.
"Were you hailing me?" The Mandibuzz asked.
"Yes! Please help Argyle! He's on fire!"
Mandibuzz approached me and gently laid a wing on my face.
"This is bad! He's overheating! The desert was not a great choice to bring an Ice type on a date, honey."
"It's not a- is there an oasis nearby?"
"Yes, just a few yards away."
"Take Argyle there! Hurry!"
"I can only carry one of you at a time," said Mandibuzz, "I'll come back for-"
"Forget me! Help him!"
My consciousness gave out finally and my vision faded to blackness.
I awoke with a start. With a tussle and a few splashes, I stood up. A splash? I was waist deep in water.
"You feeling okay?"
I found the source of the voice, a Salazzle, one strangely familiar.
"Sal! Where am I?"
"An oasis. Mandibuzz dropped you off here after you passed out."
Mandibuzz was perched on a fallen piece of one of the nearby palm trees.
"I kind of dropped you in the middle of the oasis, sorry," apologized Mandibuzz.
"Save the 'sorries'. Why'd you save me? Aren't you supposed to be a scavenger?"
"Just because I eat dead bodies, doesn't mean I'm heartless. I'll still try to help whoever I can."
"Sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
I stooped down and took a long drink of the cool water.
"So, how are you?" Sal asked again.
"I feel great. I could run circles around this desert!"
"Glad to have you back. I like you much better when you're cheery."
"Well, we're not out of the desert just yet."
"I've been meaning to ask about that," said Mandibuzz, "neither of you are desert Pokémon. What are you doing out this far into the sands?"
"We escaped prison," I said at once.
"Argyle! You shouldn't-!" Said Sal in surprise.
"I don't care right now."
"Truthfully, I don't rightly care about your individual criminal histories," said Mandibuzz, "you're alive. That's all that matters."
"Yeah, feels great to be alive," said Sal, "though I am surprised that escaping was so easy. Guess we were meant to be togeth-"
"You're right!" I said, suddenly realizing something important, "it was easy, way too easy."
"What is it? You don't think-!"
"Precisely, they wanted us to try to escape. The desert itself is the real prison!"
"So that's why," said Sal, "Mandibuzz, how far are we into the desert? Where is the nearest civilization?"
"You… they locked you up without telling you which way was up, didn't they?" Mandibuzz asked, "You are on the far side of a Mystery Dungeon known as the Burning Sea. The name says it all. It is a literal sea of sand."
"And civilization is on the other side," I said, "oy vey."
I fell backwards and let myself float in the oasis waters. No one spoke as I floated.
"The waters…," I said to myself, "Mandibuzz, are there any oceans nearby? With actual water?"
"Several miles to the north there is a sea. If you are heading there, there are some ancient tombs nearby that may serve as shelter."
"That will have to do," I said, sitting up.
"So, what's with the ocean all of a sudden? Do you expect to swim away?" Asked Sal.
"Mandibuzz, can you fly to the nearest town and get them to send a Pelipper to the tombs, along with a pen and paper?"
"Can do. Just make your way there as soon as possible."
Mandibuzz took off and I emerged onto the muddy banks of the oasis.
"A Pelipper? Not a rescue?"
"If all goes as planned, we will have our rescue."
Without further ado, Salazzle was carrying me again and we travelled day and night to reach the tombs. Didn't look like much from the outside, just a hidden sandstone staircase leading down, guarded on all sides by four Escargo statues.
"Not much to look at," said Sal, "I don't like tombs. Feels like we shouldn't be here."
"I know. But if we are to survive the desert, we need every resource we can find."
"There you are!"
A Pelipper lighted down and landed a few feet away.
"Did someone call for the Pelipper Postal Service?"
"That was me."
"Here you go," said Pelipper, handing me a piece of parchment and a pen.
I wrote my chosen words:
From the asp's mouth, an emerald light shines bright. To the north, tides. To the south, the bones of the dead.
I handed the letter to Pelipper and he stuffed it into his bag.
"And who gets this?"
"Glacier. You will find her in Shipwreck Cove."
"That's quite some distance away, but never fear. The Pelipper Postal Service will deliver your letter with pride!"
With a sudden gust, Pelipper flew up into the sky and soared off beyond the horizon.
"Someone loves their job," I said.
"So… what was with the riddle?" Asked Sal.
"Lawmen might try to intercept our letters, so the thieves of the world devised a special language. It allows us to give each other important information without the law catching on."
"Who is Glacier?"
"A friend. And a pirate."
"You have a pirate friend? Better start working on my pirate talk. So, what do we do now?"
"We wait. In the tomb."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
Neither of us wanted to really explore the tomb, so we hung out in the entryway. We caught some much-needed sleep and exercised, to keep us limber. For a couple of weeks, we squatted in the tomb. Finally, at the end of day 15, we got our rescue.
"Couldn't they have chosen a nicer place for a prison?"
"Stop whining. Argyle needs our help."
I was sitting on what I hoped was a coffee table. Sal was sleeping nearby, so I shook her awake.
"Not now, Fabio. We'll have plenty of time to make love later."
(Fabio!? She must still be asleep. Sorry, Sal.)
I shoved her off the table and onto the ground. She awoke with a resounding "oof!".
"Argyle? What's the big-!?"
"Guys! Down here!" I yelled.
"I hear him! I hear Argyle! I'm coming, Grand Master!"
"Slowbro! Watch your step!"
With a yell, Slowbro stumbled down the stairwell, landing, rather ungracefully, on his stomach.
"This is your great rescuer?" Asked Sal.
"Hey, beggars can't be choosers."
Slowbro noticed me at once and drew me into a great, one-armed hug.
"GRAND MASTER! I MISSED YOU!"
"Let me breathe!" I said, pushing him away, "it's only been a month. Come on!"
Glacier had finally made her way down the staircase and was smirking at the scene.
"I see your number one fanboy found you."
"Hello to you too," I said.
"Argyle, who's that?" Asked Glacier.
"I'm Salandra, or Sal if you prefer," Sal introduced, "former drug dealer. I helped Argyle escape the Burning Sands. Glacier and Slowbro, I presume?"
"That's right! I'm the Grand Master's best friend!"
"Or so you think," I said.
"Well, popularity contest over," said Glacier, "you mind telling us what exactly happened? Why'd you let yourself get arrested?"
"We have a lot to talk about," I said, "do you mind if we do it aboard your ship? I've had enough of the desert."
"Can I come too?" Asked Sal.
"Of course. Any friend of Argyle's is a friend of mine. Follow us. And Slowbro-?"
"I know. I'll be careful."
We left the tomb and hiked a small distance north until we boarded Glacier's new ship, the Wet Moltres. It seems like Glacier had gathered all her remaining crew to sail this one ship to our rescue. The crew took over commandeering the ship for her while the four of us met in the captain's quarters.
"So, what's the big mystery, Argyle?" Asked Glacier, "last we met, we had made land, now we're rescuing you from a desert."
"I don't know where to start. After we parted ways, Pelipper delivered me a letter. Within the letter was a picture of Mystery Town. Burning."
"Who sent it!? I'll make them pay! Burning down a town is just-!"
"Two friends of mine. Them and that Mienshao who's name I can never pronounce."
"Sheriashuu? Why-?" Began Slowbro.
"Let him tell his story," said Sal.
"Not much more to tell. They blamed the city-wide arson on Emerald and I and threw us in prison."
I paused to look at each individual face.
"I need to get Emerald out of there before they find out she's a lawman. You don't have to come with me if you don't want to."
"You think we're going to say no?" Asked Sal.
"Yeah, let's go rescue your girlfriend," said Glacier.
"She's not my girlfriend, Snow."
"Snow?" Asked Glacier, her face hard to read.
I knew at that moment, I screwed up. Glacier was on top of me in an instant, her sharp nails inches from my throat.
"Glacier! Settle down!" Yelled Slowbro.
"You called me Snow! How did you know that name!?"
"It was in my police file! Snow is the name of my half-sister!"
Glacier lowered her paw.
"It has been too long since someone has called me by that name."
"Hello, sis."
