They were getting to the Pierce residence at 6. The reactions that met their arrival were completely expected, since they hadn't told anyone they were in town. Brittany's mother cried, Ashely screamed and hugged everyone multiple times, and Pierce kept clapping his hands and yelling "HA" every few minutes. When things calmed down, they answered all the questions about what they were doing in Lima, and how long they were there as they showed their kids around the house. They were particularly excited about seeing Brittany's room, which Santana was shocked to see looked exactly the same. There were pictures still on Brittany's wall and dresser, her mirror lined with high school doodles and 'I love you' notes from Santana. Brittany smiled fondly at them, running her hand over one of the older ones as Santana hugged her from behind, kissing the back of her neck.

"I can't believe it's been 10 years"

"Yeah. It's crazy" Santana agreed.

"Okay" Brittany said at 6:45. "We gotta go so ma…MA" Susan looked away from Sophia, startled.

"Honey?"

"Come here, you need to hear this."

Susan walked up to them.

"Now there are three lists, I've marked them with the kid's name so you don't get confused."

"Lists for what Britt-B?" her dad asked.

"What they can and cannot eat, and when"

Susan frowned. "Why?"

"Because" Brittany said.

"You can have these" Santana said, "pin them on the fridge or something."

"I still don't understand…."

"You don't need to understand" Brittany snapped. Santana pressed her lips together. Brittany and her mother had made up when she'd come to help them in LA, but they were in no way on the terms they had been on before Australia. Brittany was short with her mother, snapping at her or turning all their conversations into an argument. It was exactly like how Santana was with her mother, and Santana hated it.

"Okay" Pierce said, raising his hands. "Just…tell us what the lists are."

Brittany clenched her jaw, so Santana took over.

"We're re-introducing things into Sophia's diet, because she's reacting to everything. Therefore, as of now she can't eat oats, dairy, and nuts. She's eating wheat, but very little. She likes bread, but we're only giving her brown bread or millet bread. She likes the millet a lot. Try not to give them things with a lot of oil, that's just a preference, not a health thing. If you're doing fries or something, just oven them."

"Okay" Susan said.

"Jesus can't have sugar past 5. So no sugar today. That's a hard rule, not a suggestion."

"Got it" Pierce said, looking down at the list.

"Okay, the rest of it is pretty easy to follow if you read the lists. We've cut a few things from his diet, but obviously if you guys go out for ice cream or something, feel free to give it to him. You just have to make sure to follow it up with an intense activity."

"Just read the lists" Brittany said. "We're going to be late S"

"Okay, okay. If you have any issues or questions or anything, please call us. This thing is not so important that I can't pick up my phone."

"Don't worry about it. We'll be fine" Pierce said, smiling at Santana.

"Jesus, Ky, Sophia, come say by to your mamas" Susan called.

The three children came running into the room. Jesus sprinted towards Brittany and jumped into her arms. Kyler ran to Santana, colliding with her legs. Sophia did the same to Brittany. Santana picked Kyler up, kissed his head until he began to giggle, then put him down. She hugged Jesus next, doing the same thing, and then Sophia. Pierce handed her Mateo who was already looking drowsy.

"I love you my children" she said. "Be good for your grandparents okay?"

"We'll see you tomorrow" Brittany said, kissing Mateo.

"Tomorrow?" Sophia asked, eyes widening.

"Yes. We might be late, and if you're sleeping we don't want to wake you up, so we'll come pick you up tomorrow."

Sophia shook her head, clutching onto Brittany's leg.

"No…I don't want." She looked close to tears.

"Okay honey….how about this. When we're done, we'll come back, and if you're awake then you can come with us tonight?" Santana asked, rubbing her back. Slowly, Sophia nodded her head.

"That's my girl" Brittany said. She kissed her temple and put her down. "I love you babies"

"Love you mama, love you mami" they all called. They were running back to the living room where Ashley was before Brittany and Santana had even left.

"Have a nice night with your friends girls. They'll be fine" Susan reassured.

"Seriously…call us for anything" Brittany said as they were ushered to the door. "Anything."

"Yes, yes. We'll call. Now go" Pierce laughed.

Taking Brittany's hand, Santana handed Mateo to Susan, and allowed herself to be pushed out of the house. When the door closed she took a deep breath.

"Why did that feel like the first time we left the boys at Quinn's?" Brittany asked.

"We've never left them with your parents over-night" Santana answered. "Maybe a little bit of PTSD from Australia."

"Mmhh" Brittany hummed.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. I'm going to need a glass of wine"

"Me too" Santana chuckled. "Let's go get this over with."


They did actually end up being late by 30 minutes, but that was because Puck insisted on going back to his house to change, and then they all sat in the car for close to ten minutes before entering Breadsticks.

Santana was giving herself a pep-talk about how she was going to behave. No matter what, she would not allow herself to fall into old habits. Berry would definitely bring the worst out of her, Finn as well, but she was promising herself now, not to react the way they would be expecting her to. She would not be goaded into anything.

No one seemed eager to get out of the car, but eventually Quinn sighed and opened her door.

"Come on guys. We were the popular kids remember? We shouldn't be so scared to face them"

"Easy for you to say, Mrs I'm about to own my own restaurant" Puck huffed, opening his door and climbing out. "I have nothing to show for myself."

"You have a band" Santana said, getting out of the car as well.

Puck shot her a look and she laughed. "A failed band"

"You didn't fail. You guys are good, you just need to get yourself signed like I keep telling you. Or at least get a manager."

"And not get shot at your concerts" Brittany added. She was the last to get out of the car. She circled round from her side to where the others were standing and looped her arm with Santana's.

"If we keep standing here I'm never going to go in so let's just….let's just do it."

"Quick and easy" Santana said, walking forward.

"Like ripping off a Band-Aid." Quinn added.

Puck reached the door first, so he held it open for the three girls. As Brittany walked in ahead of Santana, she saw the large table in the corner with all the previous glee club members staring at her. She swallowed, covering her nerves up with a smile and a small wave.

"No turning back now" Puck said, waving as well.


Rachel and Finn stood up to greet them. Before they managed to get a word in, Rachel was already talking.

"I am so pleased that you four could make it. A little late, but that's fine. You haven't missed anything really, we've just been catching up. I admit that I really thought you weren't going to come. Quinn sent me your RSVP no and I thought that was it, but I didn't give up, as I'm sure you know. It just wouldn't be the same without you. Your assistant is an incredibly nice woman Santana…."

As Rachel continued to talk, Santana looked at Quinn sharing a 'so that hasn't changed look' and then looked around at the group before her.

There were 2 empty seats at the end of the table, then a man Santana didn't know, sitting next to Mercedes. Probably her boyfriend or husband. She was giggling, shaking her head and cocked an eyebrow when Santana met her eyes. Santana smiled. Kurt was looking mildly irritated, sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed. He rolled his eyes when Santana looked at him. Santana nodded, wondering what that was about. Last she'd heard, Kurt and Rachel were besties. Blaine was sitting next to Kurt, he was smiling, but also looked slightly agitated. Trouble in paradise, Santana immediately recognised. Tina was next, she wasn't even paying attention to what was happening, fully engrossed in her phone. There was another empty seat, then next was Mike, who was sitting next to a woman Santana did not know, his wife or girlfriend she assumed. They were talking to each other, but he was watching the scene in front of him. He smile and waved at Santana. She waved back. Sam was next, he was looking extremely awkward. He smiled at Santana, but didn't look at her for long. Artie was sitting next to him. He inclined his head in Rachel's direction and Santana smiled. There were three empty seats after that.

She vaguely wandered about Sugar before she was pulled from her thoughts by Finn.

"Okay Rach, that's enough"

"What?"

"They just got here. Let them sit down at least."

Rachel huffed, shirking off the hand Finn had put on her shoulder, and went to sit down. More trouble in paradise Santana noted.

Ignoring the fist bumping going on with Finn and Puck, Santana walked to the chair closest to Mercedes and sat in it.

"Santana Lopez as I live and breathe" Mercedes said. Santana grinned.

"Wheezy"

They both laughed, hugging each other.

"I don't even need to ask how you've been. We all know you're winning at life."

Santana rolled her eyes playfully. "I was always living at life"

Instead of sitting down, Brittany moved round the table hugging everyone. Santana opted not to, instead greeting them from her seat.

"This is Sean. He's my fiancé" Mercedes introduced.

"Football player?" Puck asked, finally sitting down in the seat between Artie and Finn.

"Yeah" Sean answered. "Just signed with the-"

"Bears" Puck finished. "I knew you looked familiar."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Quinn" she sat between Mike and Tina.

"Quinn Fabray" Sean said, nodding his head.

"Ah…I see you gave him a quick 411 on us all" Santana joked, shaking his hand. "Whatever she said about me is probably true" Everyone laughed. "Kurtsy" she called. Kurt looked at her, smiling genuinely.

"Satan"

"How you been? You and Blainey days finally tied the knot I see?" she nodded to their identical rings.

"Oh yeah" Kurt said. His smile dimmed slightly. It was subtle, but Santana was a master at reading people, so she caught it. "Just a few weeks ago actually."

"And you're…..here?" Brittany asked, sitting down beside Santana.

"Yeah" Blaine said, sounding just bitter enough for everyone to notice. "We couldn't miss this."

Santana raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips, turning to look at Quinn. Quinn had the same look.

"Of course not" Rachel said.

"Rachel is really grateful you guys could make it" Finn said, frowning at Rachel.

Santana blinked, finding it astounding how little Rachel had changed, then she licked her lips.

"Awkward" Mercedes whispered. Santana suppressed a laugh.

"What about you Tina?"

Tina finally looked up from her phone. "Oh…I'm alright. I live in Phoenix with my boyfriend….uh I actually just st-'

"Actually Tina, we were on Sam if you remember." Rachel interrupted.

"Sorry?" Quinn asked.

"We were going round the table before you four came. Finn and I went first, then Artie, and we were on Sam"

Puck looked at Finn, giving him a what the fuck look. Finn shrugged.

"Does it really matter?" Brittany asked. "I mean that sounds a bit…"

"Unnatural" Quinn supplied.

"It's so everyone gets a chance to speak. Not just the people you're interested in hearing about"

Santana's eyebrows rose yet again as she smiled in amusement.

"Okay" she said.

"Tina's already started though" Kurt said. "This isn't a class assignment or ice breaker. We're old friends catching up so we should just let the conversation flow."

"Yeah, I agree" Mercedes said. Santana remained silent as Rachel glared at her.

"So…." Tina said, unsure if she was supposed to speak. Santana turned to look at her, nodding her head to encourage her to speak. "Uh…I just started working on this really small indie movie project. It's a lot of fun so far so we'll see how it goes."

"Oh are you an actor?" Brittany asked excitedly. Tina smiled, sitting up straighter and looking more engaged in the conversation.

"I am yeah. But it's more of a hobby than an actual career path. I realised I don't have the work ethic to do it full-time. I'm a lawyer."

Everyone found this very interesting. For a while they continued to listen to Tina's life. What she'd done since leaving New York almost 4 years ago, and how she'd met her boyfriend, who was in the army. They had been dating for three years.

After that people really wanted to hear about Brittany and Santana. So Santana found herself reciting her life from the day they'd moved to San Jose. It was a pretty short story, since she didn't go into specifics, and once she'd gotten to adopting Sophia and Mateo, she let Brittany talk about her career.

Kurt jumped in when Brittany said she didn't love traveling so much cause she was away from her family, saying that he understood. Blaine apparently was away a lot. He'd joined this traveling Broadway group, and was away for months at a time. Blaine didn't say much about it. Then Kurt told them about the clothing company that was in the works. Apparently he had given up his dreams of Broadway and instead pursued his passion for clothes. His store would be launching some time mid the next year.

Santana wasn't at all shocked when Mike told them about his life, introducing his wife Lizzy. Aside from herself and Brittany, he was the most successful, having opened two dance studios in LA. He and Lily had been married two years and were expecting a baby in about three months. Santana was happy for him. He was always such a nice guy, and definitely one of the more talented and hard-working people in their group. She was glad his life had worked out so far.

Mercedes was still trying to get her music out there, but was having trouble finding a label that she liked and trusted. In the mean-time she was teaching kindergarten. She met Sean at a high school football game in LA. His nephew played on the team and one of Mercedes' friend's brothers was playing, which is why she'd been there. Their wedding was set for March.

Sam piped in with something about modelling, which Santana couldn't help thinking was slightly disappointing. She'd never thought Sam was a smart guy. Not once in the entire time she'd known him. And it wasn't in the way she'd had to admit to herself that Brittany wasn't conventionally smart either. Sure, it was possible she didn't know him well enough to say if he had some secret intelligence hidden deep within, but she'd dated him for a few months, and she still genuinely thought that he was an idiot. A lovable good-hearted idiot, but an idiot none the less. That said a lot, considering she knew Finn and liked him less than she liked Sam, yet she didn't think Finn was an idiot.

It did not mean, however, that she thought he should settle for a career selling his looks. It felt oddly like his stripper days back in high school, when he'd completely given up on himself and his future. She also didn't think it was good for his mental health, when she knew that he struggled with body image.

She was pretending to listen to Finn's attempt at raising similar concerns when her phone rang. She was shocked to see that two hours had passed.

Taking a quick sip of her wine, she brushed her hand over Brittany's shoulders from one side to the other as she stood up and answered the phone, walking away from the table.

"Hey Susan?"

"Mami"

Santana walked completely out of the restaurant as she heard Sophia's sad voice on the other end of the phone.

"Mija, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to go to sleep. You said you come get me if I awake"

"Yes, honey, but if you're tired, you should sleep."

Sophia started crying. Santana heard Susan's voice, and then there was screaming. Her heart raced as for a few minutes Sophia screamed, and then Kyler started yelling, and Susan was trying to calm them both down. Finally, the noise died down, and Santana heard Jesus' quiet sleepy voice.

"Mami…please come back"

Santana didn't have to question it. "Okay mijo, I'm coming."

"Thank you."

She hung up the phone as she heard Jesus yelling that she was on the way, and headed back into the restaurant. Brittany turned to face her as she approached the table.

"I'm really sorry guys, but I have to go"

"What?" Kurt asked, looking genuinely disappointed.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked as Brittany stood up.

"Our kids are…they've never been to Lima so they're still trying to…get used to it."

Mercedes nodded in understanding, standing up to give her a hug.

"I'm really glad you came" she told Santana.

"Me too" Santana said honestly. "I missed you"

"I missed you too Satan."

Santana laughed. She hugged Kurt, Mike and Tina, who also stood up, fist bumped Artie and waved at the rest of them.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow"

Brittany hugged everyone goodbye, and Santana noticed Puck was saying bye as well.

"You coming?" She asked him, picking her bag.

"Yeah. Wouldn't feel right being here while my god kids needed me."

"Way to make me look bad" Quinn laughed.

"You do that just fine on your own" Puck said, winking. Quinn flipped him off.

"It's disappointing that you have to leave after arriving late-"

"It was 30 minutes Rachel" Kurt snapped.

"Still, we were all here on time, and we all have things going on in our lives. Finn and I are planning a wedding, which if you don't know is a lot of work."

"Uhhh they're married" Tina said with a confused frown.

"Literally half the people here are either married or planning a wedding as well" Mercedes said, shaking her head.

"Yet we made sure to be here on time and actually stay the entire time. I feel it is important for us to spend this time together, reconnecting as a group, so that we can properly pass that on to the current glee club. As we all learned, we only win when we are a tight cohesive unit." Rachel finished like Mercedes hadn't spoken.

"You don't have kids" Brittany said dismissively.

"No, I admit I do not. But-"

"We don't have time for this" Puck said angrily. "See you" he waved at the table and walked out. Brittany followed him. Santana smiled at Mercedes and Kurt, waved at everyone else and then waved her phone at Quinn, telling her to call her later. Quinn nodded, blowing her a kiss. Santana walked out.

"Well" Puck said as he got into the back seat. "That was interesting."

"Same glee club" Brittany said. "What was with the tension?"

"Yeah" Santana said, pulling out of the parking. "Kurt and Blaine just got married but they were acting like they were forced to do it at gunpoint."

"And Kurt and Rachel" Brittany added.

"Finn and Rachel. He seemed pissed at her or something." Puck said.

"And Sam" Santana said.

"Tina seemed a bit down." Brittany observed.

"Her boyfriend's in the army. They're not going to last"

"Babe" Brittany chastised.

"I'm not being mean BeeBee. I'm just keeping it real. Tina needs too much attention for a relationship like that to work"

"She could have changed."

"People don't change. They are who they are at the core. She may not be petty or insecure anymore, but she's still Tina."

"Mmhhh" Brittany hummed.

"Man…" Puck said, sighing heavily and shaking his head.

"Couldn't get out of there fast enough could you?" Santana laughed.

"It was just so weird. She kept staring daggers at you the entire time. Did you even notice?"

"Of course I noticed." Santana said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm really proud of you baby" Brittany said, kissing Santana's hand.

"Thank you" Santana smiled. She was really proud of herself too. She hadn't risen to Rachel's jabs even once. She'd let them all go, and there had been many. She'd been the bigger person. It was an odd feeling.

"It was a little nice though" Brittany said. "I'm so happy for Mike and Mercedes."

"Yeah me too" Puck said.

"It won't be as bad as I thought" Santana said. "Staying for two months."

"Yeah." Puck and Brittany agreed.


When they arrived at Brittany's house, they had hardly gotten out of the car before Sophia came running out of the front door. Santana picked her up and cradled her to her chest as she cried. Kyler came out next with his bag on his shoulders and arms folded, a hard frown on his face. Brittany raised her eyebrows as he walked past all of them to the car and tried to pull it open. When it didn't open he screamed and kicked it, then sat down heavily on the floor, pouting.

Santana and Brittany stared at each other with wide eyes, only looking away when Pierce came walking out. He looked tired and sad.

"What happened?" Brittany asked him. He shook his head.

"They uh…they didn't want to sleep."

"Okay?" Santana asked, wondering how that had manifested into the situation at hand.

Pierce sighed in a defeated way.

"Just try not to be too angry with her"

"Mum?" Brittany asked, already getting annoyed.

"Ashley left, she had plans already. And that upset them. They just would not do anything we asked them to…and she got angry for just a second and raised her voice." Santana frowned and Pierce panicked. "Just for a second, but she stopped immediately she realised and she tried to fix it. They just…Kyler got mad and would only speak in Spanish, and Sophia was crying every time Susan came near her. Jesus isn't talking to either of us...I don't even know where he is"

"Susan raised her voice?" Santana asked for clarification. "That's all that happened you're sure?"

"Yes" Pierce said earnestly.

"Okay" Brittany said. She turned to Kyler, squatting down to his level.

"Estas enojado?" she asked him. He nodded his head, raising his eyes to hers. "¿Porque gammy te gritó?"

"En Sophia"

"Okay" Brittany said, moving closer to him. "Did she say sorry?" Kyler's frown deepened, but he nodded.

"No la perdono todavia"

"That's okay." Brittany said, cupping his cheek. "Do you want to go home?"

He nodded and raised his arms. Brittany smiled and picked him up. When she'd put him in the car he poked his head out.

"Adiós poppy" he said in a small voice. Pierce smiled, looking slightly less harassed.

"Bye little man."

"Where's Jesus?" Santana asked, handing Sophia to Brittany. Pierce looked back at the house and shrugged.

"He was hiding"

Sophia nodded when Santana looked at her, as if proving she wasn't lying.

"Ky where's your brother?" she asked Kyler. His frown returned as he stared hard at the chair in front of him. Santana came closer to him, running her hand over his hair.

"Mi amor, Mírame por favor"

A few seconds later, he turned to look at her. His frown softened as he did. He looked in her eyes for a long moment, and she let him.

"Se esconde en el baño"

Santana smiled gently, kissing his forehead. "Thank you papi"

As Brittany went round to put Sophia in the car, Santana walked into the house. She saw Susan looking around in the living room, calling out for Jesus.

"I know where he is" Santana said as she climbed the stairs. She made her way to the bathroom opposite Brittany's room, turned on the lights and pulled back the shower curtain. Jesus was sitting by the tap with his knees pulled up to his chest and hands over his ears.

Santana's heart broke at the scared look he shot her as he looked up. Then relief seemed to flood him. He choked out a broken 'mami'. Santana took her shoes off as fast as she could and climbed into the bath, pulling him on top of her.

He didn't really cry, more just clung to her and breathed heavily. Santana shushed him, whispering into his hair as she combed her fingers through it. Finally he calmed.

"What happened mijo?" she asked him.

"Everyone was shouting or crying, mami. After gammy shouted at Sophia, Kyler told me to go hide. He wanted me to go with Niki but I couldn't get him off the bed."

Santana's eyes bulged as she pictured him trying to pull Mateo off the bed, then she frowned.

"Why did he tell you to hide?"

"He said that if I was hiding I couldn't hear the shouting and crying."

Santana nodded, still wondering what had prompted Kyler to do that. They had never been exposed to shouting or arguing like that, so she understood Jesus being overwhelmed, but Kyler had reacted like he thought they were in danger. That worried Santana.

She got up and climbed out of the bathtub, then made her way down the stairs with Jesus. Susan was standing at the foot with Niki asleep in his carrier and his baby bag in her other hand.

"He seems fine" Santana told her. "I think he can stay with you today. Unless you want us to take him"

"No" Susan said, her apprehension draining as she realised Santana wasn't mad at her. "We would love to have him."

"We'll come for him tomorrow then"

Susan nodded. "Santana I'm so sorry-"

Santana cut her off, shaking her head. "It's fine."

Waving goodbye, she walked out to the car. Sophia was on Puck's lap, looking like she was dozing off. Kyler had Brittany's phone and was watching something on YouTube while Brittany and her dad talked outside.

When she walked up to them Brittany came to her. She wiped the tears from Jesus' face and kissed him.

"Alright dad, I guess I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah" Pierce said. He still looked sad.

With Jesus sat and buckled up next to Kyler, Santana got into the passenger seat, knowing Brittany would want to drive, and waited. Susan came out to the porch with Mateo and waved at them. Brittany didn't wave back. She hugged her dad stiffly and got into the car.

Just as she pulled out of the driveway, Sophia screamed. Brittany pressed the breaks hard, jolting the car, and turned round to face her.

"No, no!" Sophia was screaming, struggling to get out of Puck's grip. Puck looked wildly at Santana and Brittany, holding on to Sophia so she didn't bang her head.

Santana jumped out of the car and opened Puck's door, taking Sophia.

"Soph, honey what's the matter?"

"No!" Sophia screamed, pointing at the house. Santana turned round, wondering what could possibly be wrong.

Brittany was by her side now, rubbing Sophia's back.

"Baby, please tell us what's wrong"

"We can't leave him" Sophia said, struggling to speak. She was shaking furiously.

Santana's eyes widened in understanding.

"Niki" she told a confused Brittany. "Okay my love" she addressed Sophia. "We won't leave him. See." She pointed as Brittany went to get Mateo. Sophia calmed down immediately when Brittany had the carrier in her hand. "See? Okay?"

Sophia nodded. When Santana tried to give her back to Puck, she refused, clinging to Santana's neck. Puck got out and sat in the passenger seat so Santana could sit in the back with Sophia.

This time Brittany drove off slower, making sure no tantrums of screaming fits were imminent.

"I think we're safe" Santana laughed when a block from the house Brittany was still driving at 20.

"Just making sure" she said, glancing at her. "Sorry Noah, but looks like you're coming with us"

Puck shrugged. "No problem dude. Your room is sick."


Try as she might, Santana could not block out the voices around her. And try she did. All her usual tactics, which usually consisted of either dreaming up scenarios in which she could enact all her murder fantasies, or coming up with witty comebacks or insults, were not working. Every time she just managed to get lost in her head, Rachel's annoying voice would burst through and ring in her ears like her head was in a bell.

"Oh HELL no, you did not just say that to me" Mercedes shouted.

"Mercedes, all I'm trying to do is make sure we win"

"You've been saying that for the past three years Rach" Tina said, sounding tired. "And we keep losing."

"Maybe it's time we tried something new" Mike said. "Like actual dance numbers"

"No. The issue isn't our performances, it's-"

"Mercedes has never even had a solo" Tina continued.

"Neither have you" Brittany said. Santana lifted her head for the first time in twenty minutes and smiled at Brittany who was sitting beside her eating dots. Brittany smiled back, though obviously a little confused as to why people were laughing.

"Yes" Rachel said, dragging the attention back to her, "And now isn't the time to start handing out solos. We need to make sure we highlight our best performers, not appease people's egos like last year."

Santana's eyes snapped to Rachel, feeling attacked. She'd been the one to get a solo at last year's sectionals.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked. Rachel turned to her like she'd forgotten she was there.

"N-nothing Santana" she stammered, looking scared. "Just that, I'm the best chance we've got at-"

"Committing mass suicide?" Santana said, standing up. "Yeah, you're right about that."

Rachel's eyes widened as she took a step backwards. Santana almost smiled at the obvious display of fear.

"You do realise that you've held us up for half an hour with this little diva display don't you? Half an hour that we could have spent actually doing something productive? Actually working at making sure we win, instead of just talking about it."

"If Mercedes-"

"If you'd shut your beak for a second and listen to what anyone else had to say, maybe we could get around to working out the new voice arrangements for the boys, since we now have gay boy 2.0."

Rachel bristled, opened her mouth to talk, then closed it. She turned to look around and her eyes fell on Finn. Santana knew what was coming and this time a smile did grace her lips in anticipation.

"Finn agrees with me. Destabilizing our established roles will only prove detrimental to our success in the long run."

Santana raised her eyebrows and looked at Finn, nodding like Rachel hadn't just spewed utter nonsense.

"Oh yes. Finn…our fearless leader." Rachel nodded proudly. Santana had to laugh. "Finn needs to detach his lips from your ass so he can stop dancing like an epileptic walrus. It's no wonder we've never won nationals, we've been displaying the guppy mountain troll and his overgrown dwarf that dresses like a toddler from an insane asylum, front and centre."

"Hey" Finn said weakly.

Santana ignored him. She bent and picked her Cheerios binder.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked in a high pitched voice that Santana hoped meant she was about to cry.

Sam said "We still have practice."

Santana scoffed. "When you're ready to actually have practice, instead of wasting my time listening to the incessant squawking of the big nosed Berry bird, call me."

She registered the looks of exasperation on some members and amusement on others as she walked past them all to the door. When she reached it she turned back.

"Coming B?"

Brittany looked apologetically at everyone as she got up and walked to Santana. "Bye" she said as Santana took her hand and pulled her out the door.


"Urgh" Santana groaned as she got into her car. "I seriously need a long soothing bath after that disaster."

"Mhh" Brittany nodded, fiddling with the radio.

"What do you say Britt Britt, we could watch sweet valley high after" Santana said, her voice losing its anger as she handed Brittany the aux cord.

"Oh" Brittany took the cord, playing with it in her lap as she nervously bit her lip. "I uh…that sounds really great…"

Santana clenched her jaw and tried not to take her bad mood out on Brittany.

"But?"

"It's just that…Tina, Artie and Mike kind of invited me to watch a movie with them…"

Santana didn't respond. Her mind had jammed on one word. Artie. Brittany continued to talk, and Santana could tell that she was getting more and more anxious, but she couldn't bring herself to answer. There was a residual hatred she had for Artie, mostly because besides Puck he was the most misogynistic male in the glee club, and she hated that he had ever been anywhere near Brittany. Then there was the petty stuff. It wasn't his fault in any way at all, but she blamed him for her not being with Brittany last year. If he hadn't been around, being a passable boyfriend, because from what Brittany had told Santana he wasn't anything special, then Brittany would have been hers the second she managed to admit that she wanted her.

There wouldn't have been the burning white shame in the pit of her stomach every time she saw Brittany for at least a month after her confession and subsequent rejection. There wouldn't have been the storm of guilt that threatened to drown her for days when Brittany had arrived at her house, crying herself pink and accusing Santana of being a bad best friend for telling Artie that sleeping with him hadn't meant anything to Brittany.

There wouldn't have been the many nights of never ending tears that wracked her body so hard it was painful.

"Santana?" Brittany touched her arm and she jolted.

"What?" If she weren't so caught up in her thoughts, she'd have noticed Brittany's cringing at her tone.

"Are you mad?"

Santana's grip on the steering wheel tightened as she battled with herself. Sometimes Brittany made it so hard not to lash out. She won against her anger though, releasing her breath evenly.

"Do you want me to drop you at home or at the cinema?"

"You're mad" Brittany said, removing her hand. Santana didn't dare look at her, picturing the pout in place perfectly and not wanting to crumble under it. She wanted to be angry. Being angry was a solid feeling she could hold onto, as opposed to the constant jumble of a mess she usually was. So she clung on and refused to comfort Brittany.

"Home then?"

"I don't have to go"

"You should"

Brittany was silent for a while.

"I don't want to anymore"

"They're your friends and you should go hang out with them" Santana said, straining to keep her voice casual. She heard Brittany sigh and began calculating how far she was from her house. She wasn't sure how much longer she could pretend to be calm.

"I don't want to. I want to stay-"

"Well I don't want you to stay Brittany" she didn't yell. She'd only ever yelled at Brittany a handful of times, and she was nowhere near out of control enough to do it now, but her voice was sharp and irritated. Brittany physically recoiled, and despite herself Santana glanced at her, swearing under her breath when she saw the tears pooling in her eyes. Anger and jealousy were still licking her insides though, keeping her from apologising and taking it back. Instead she did the best she could.

"Like I said, they're your friends. I want you to go with them."

Brittany blinked, taking in her words. Santana parked in her driveway and turned to look at her, deciding not to be a coward as she hurt Brittany. She could see Brittany deciding if she would accept her pathetic attempt at taking back her words.

To Santana's immense amazement and relief, Brittany blinked away her tears and nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Santana nodded, hating herself more than she had in a long time. Why she couldn't just accept that Brittany loved her, that she was hers now, was beyond her. Maybe it was that in their three years of friendship, Brittany had been with more people than Santana allowed herself to think of, but she had never been in one serious and committed relationship. Never. Artie had been close. Brittany had stopped sleeping with other guys and even Santana for a while, but eventually Santana had wormed her way out of that. Maybe there was a part of her that didn't believe that Brittany really could be just hers.

"Santana…I don't want…if you're angry, I don't want to go." Santana sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead in exasperation. "Okay. Okay" Brittany said, raising one hand as the other opened the door. She sounded so sad that Santana almost called her back, but the image of Artie asking her to the movies, which she'd conjured up as she drove, kept her quiet. She imagined Artie pulling her into his lap, rolling her along as Tina talked about how fun their double dates used to be. He'd probably been the one to suggest it, Santana thought angrily, saying something like 'for old times sake'.

"I'll see you later" Brittany said. Santana could feel Brittany's eyes on her, begging her to look at her, to tell her she was fine and make her believe it. She didn't. Instead she just nodded, shifting the gear into reverse and stared at Brittany's garage. A few seconds later the door closed. Wasting no time, because she didn't want to see Brittany's sad walk to the house, she pulled out of the driveway and sped off.

When she got home, she ignored her mother's yells for her to come into the kitchen and ran upstairs. Locking the door since she could hear her mother following her. She shed her clothes and went into the bathroom, clicking her ipod to life as she passed her dresser. She was glad it wasn't a depressing song about heartbreak that blasted through her speakers. While yes, singing dramatically into her shampoo bottle about how she was feeling may have worked when Brittany had rejected her, she didn't think there were any songs that could fully capture her situation.

The up-beat R&B song didn't help much either, but it was better than listening to the loud banging on her door or rapid Spanish from her mother. It was also better than the silence that would allow her mind to run.

The initial anger she'd felt had drained away by the time she got out of the shower, but jealousy had replaced it. No, she did not want to go and watch a movie with Tina. Mike maybe, but not Tina, and not Tina and Mike. They were the best couple in glee club, she wouldn't deny that, and probably the two sanest people in it as well, but as a couple they were insufferably cute, and not in a good way. Sometimes she actually had to look away from them just to keep from throwing up. Most of the things they did, like rubbing their noses together and making weird noises that Santana had only heard used when talking to an infant, made her cringe so hard from second had embarrassment that she physically couldn't stand being around them for too long.

All of that aside, if Brittany was going, she wanted to go as well. She wanted to be the one invited on double dates. She wanted Brittany to beg her and bribe her with lots of sex and bubble baths, to go and sit through a movie she would pretend to hate but probably liked, as she held Brittany's hand and they shared popcorn.

Again, it was all her fault that this wasn't happening, and her anger at Tina, Mike and Artie was once again unjustified, but it was either them or her, and frankly she had enough to be upset with herself over. Her phone chimed, but she ignored it. She knew it was Brittany when it chimed twice more. Brittany was the only one who sent her multiple messages when it could be said in one. And even if it wasn't, Quinn and Puck were the only other people that would be texting her. She didn't feel like talking to either.

Three hours later, Santana was lying in bed, her laptop beside her as music blasted through her headphones and she scrolled through Facebook half-heartedly. It was only due to the silence created when the song ended before the new one started that Santana heard the loud banging on her door. She pressed the headphones onto her ears, refusing to be dragged back into the real world.

"Ai Mami. Stop!" the song started, and it was so loud it drowned out her words.

She had just started drifting off to sleep when she felt a dip in the bed. Her body tensed and she kept her eyes closed. Her uncle David always used to tell her that if she was ever attacked, the only advantage she had was the element of surprise, because she was small. She waited, keeping her breath even as she felt the body come closer, but just as they got close enough for her to feel their body heat, she smelt the coconut.

Peeking her eye open an inch, because it would be crazy for her to assume that the murderer didn't wash their hair in coconut shampoo as well, she scanned the darkness of her room. There was a figure kneeling above her, long hair falling over her shoulders, nearly brushing Santana's arm. She sighed in relief and took off her headphones.

"I nearly decked you Brittany."

"Sorry" Brittany whispered.

Sitting up, Santana looked around at the alarm clock. It was almost half past eight.

"What are you doing here? Your movie finished already?"

Brittany looked down at the comforter. "I didn't go. I talked it over with LT and we decided I shouldn't."

"Mhh" Santana said, pressing her lips together.

"He told me to come here"

"Mhh" Santana said again, nodding this time. Brittany sighed and moved off her knees, sitting cross-legged.

"I tried calling first" At that Santana looked around, trying to remember what she'd done with her phone. "You told me you were probably ignoring me so I shouldn't call again. So I didn't."

Santana frowned hard, then she cracked a smile as she realised Brittany was talking about her voicemail.

Brittany's entire body relaxed as she saw Santana's smile, small as it was.

"You can call me as many times as you want" Santana said. Her voice wasn't sweet or cute or warm. It just was.

"I texted too"

"Hmm"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Brittany didn't move closer to Santana, but uncrossed her legs and lay down parallel to her. She took the headphones hanging limply in Santana's hand and put them on her head. Santana gaped at her. She waited for Brittany to say something. Anything. To look at her meaningfully. But nothing came. A few minutes went by, and all Brittany did was lie there and listen to music.

For 5 songs- Santana could hear the music playing despite not being very close- Santana watched her. Strangely she didn't feel the need to stop her, or ask for answers. She just watched. Then there was loud banging on her door again and her mother's loud voice.

"Santana open this door right now or Lo juro por Dios, I will have your father remove it."

Santana casually walked to the door. She took a breath and opened the door, smiling fakely.

"What have you been doing?"

"Why hello mother. I didn't know you were home."

Maribel rolled her eyes. "Except that you shouted at me two hours ago."

Santana raised her eyebrows, having forgotten that. "Ah..." then she shrugged. "Well, how can I help you?"

Maribel shook her head, then her eyes skimmed to her room and she saw Brittany.

"I see Brittany managed to get in." Santana looked back at Brittany and nodded. "She'd been waiting for an hour."

"Really?" Santana asked, feeling guilty.

"Yes. I thought she'd gone home but I guess I should have known. How she manages to climb that tree is beyond me"

Santana blinked at her mother, trying not to scowl. "Okaayy….do I need to ask how I can help you again for you to get to the point?"

"Watch it" Maribel hissed. Santana pressed her lips together and clenched her jaw. Her grip on the door tightened, but she held her tongue. Her mother sighed. "I was just making sure you were okay. You seemed upset when you came home and…" she shifted uncomfortably. "Well….I just wanted to be sure you were fine."

"I'm fine"

"Brittany seemed to be worried about you too"

"What did she say?" Santana aske suddenly, more aggressively than she probably should have, but unable to care as fear surged through her. Her mother looked alarmed.

"She just kept asking how you were…she wouldn't really say but she needed to see you. Why?" she eyed Santana suspiciously as she released her fear in a short breath.

"Nothing just…" she paused, looking at her mother, the thought that maybe telling her what had been bothering her could help lasting only a second before she shook her head. "Nothing"

Maribel looked disappointed, but nodded.

"Tu papi's here tonight. He wants to have dinner."

Santana looked back at Brittany. "Can't you tell him I'm sick or something?" Her mother frowned. "Please mami. I don't…I'm not up to it today. I've had a long day, and still have a lot to do." When Maribel still looked unimpressed, Santana pulled out the big guns. "It's not fair that I have to make time for him when he never makes time for me." she felt bad, she did. It wasn't her mother's fault that her dad was so busy, and this year she'd been staying home a lot more than usual, which Santana, despite herself, really appreciated. She wouldn't have said it, but she just was not in a good mood at all. Sitting through a dinner where her dad would just ask useless questions about college and friends whose names he never remembered was not something she could survive.

She saw the sadness in her mother's eyes as the words hit her. She saw the guilt. Then Maribel nodded. "I'll tell him it's lady things" she said, looking at Brittany, "he won't come to check on you that way."

Santana smiled genuinely, hugging her mother. "Thanks mami" she whispered.

It was a huge gesture, and she knew it. She never hugged her mother. She never hugged anyone, except Brittany. Her mother hugged her back fiercely. Santana allowed it for a while, even when her body protested. Finally her mother pulled back and smiled.

"Let me know if you need anything"

Santana nodded, watched her mother walk away and closed the door. Brittany was sitting up and facing her, the headphones on her lap.

"Are you really not feeling well?" Brittany asked.

Santana sighed and walked to the bed.

"No Britt. I'm fine"

"Something's wrong" Brittany was toying with the headphones, tracing over the letters. "Are you sad because you weren't invited to the movie?"

Santana scoffed. "No"

"Because you could have come if you wanted, nobody would have minded. I would have invited you but I didn't think you'd want to go."

"I didn't"

Brittany frowned. "Is it because of Artie?" Santana licked her lips. "It is isn't it" Brittany said before she could speak. "It wasn't a date. I made sure to ask. I said, 'you know this isn't a double date right?' and he said, 'sure Brittany.'"

Santana wished Brittany could tell her exactly how his voice sounded when he's said that. The words sounded too sarcastic to her.

"That's good"

"Are you not mad anymore?"

"Fuck Brittany" Santana sighed sharply, her patience fraying. "I'm just not in a good mood okay? Aren't I allowed to be in a bad mood?"

Santana had expected Brittany to react somehow. To be shocked by her outburst or to jump at the tone in her voice. Instead she just shrugged, as though Santana had asked her what she wanted to eat.

"Sure you are" Brittany shifted so her legs were crossed. "But you're not. When you're in a bad mood your eyebrow" one of her fingers traced over Santana's left eyebrow gently, "is kind of zigzag shaped. Or more like a big wave actually. Not a thin line curving down like it is now." Santana stared at her. "Now you're just frowning. Why are you confused?"

The side of Santana's mouth pulled up in an amused smile. "Nothing, but I'm done being mad now"

Brittany grinned at her, lying down and pushing the laptop to the other side of the bed. "Good. Cause I'm dying to find out what Jess is gonna do."

Santana smiled fully now, shaking her head as she climbed into the bed properly and cuddled into Brittany, who was setting up sweet valley high.