Pokémon Police Force Chapter 20: Hollow Bastion

The sky was darkening, the company was grave as we made our way. You could hear Fletchlings chirping in the distance as the cool late January air blew across the plains. A snowstorm was going to fall soon, I could taste it.

"We need to go to Ironwell Stronghold."

Argyle's words rang heavy in my ears. It was his belief that the fortress held clues to Danté and Pyra's whereabouts. I found myself agreeing since that is where the Crown of Plenty was found, but something felt… off about this. Like we really shouldn't be going there.

Upon reaching a blasted drain, Argyle insisted on going in alone and finding a less claustrophobic path for the rest of us. As he is the best infiltrator we've got, bar none, we let him go. The rest of us decided to hang around the drain and wait.

"I hope he knows what he's doing," said Scyther.

"He does," replied Sal, "you haven't seen him in action. He's probably the best burglar on the entire continent."

"How long has he been doing this?" Asked Sandslash.

"Long enough," said Snow, "I haven't known him for long, but I know enough to tell you that."

"You could say he was born into it," said Slowbro, "this place looks like crap. What happened here?"

"Those two Fire types happened," said Zangoose, "turns out they are a lot more violent than even Argyle knew."

"I'm more worried about what happened at the grave," I admitted.

"Now that you mention it," said Snow, "Argyle doesn't seem at all concerned with that."

"That's what worries me," I said, "he meets the three that almost killed him, finds out they were being controlled somehow and doesn't even care."

"I think he's just focused on the task at hand," said Sal, "we were commissioned to hunt down the three that burnt down a town, not Team PWNK."

"Maybe he's running again."

"Emerald?" Asked Slowbro.

"For as long as I've known him, he's been running, whether it's from the law or the past. He might be running from his old life, even now."

"We've got a problem."

Argyle had shown up suddenly, rounding the corner. His fur was wet and matted and he smelled strongly of stagnant water.

"What problem?" Asked Zangoose, "there's been barely a peep from anything."

"That's just it!" He said, "the entire fortress is completely empty! There isn't even any furniture anywhere!"

The fortress is deserted!? None of us believed Argyle's words, so we ran around the side and into the corridors from one of the giant holes blasted into the wall.

I could scarcely believe what I saw, or didn't see. Argyle was right, not a single person, no tables, carpets, banners or any evidence that anyone had ever lived here. It was just empty walls.

"What happened?" Asked Sandslash, "this place was full of Pokémon just last year."

Other than the giant holes in the walls, there was no sign that a battle had ever taken place. It was as if the inside of the fortress is stuck in time.

"Something is very wrong," said Argyle.

I left them standing there, a new destination in mind.

"Argyle? Where are you going?" Asked Emerald.

I didn't answer, instead I climbed a familiar staircase all the way up to the battlements. Everything was how I remembered it, the damage to the walls, the marks on the stone and even the vault in the middle, with the frosted-through door I opened.

"Slow down there, Ace."

The rest of the company caught up to me. Zangoose stood beside me and followed my gaze to the vault.

"Seems like just yesterday, doesn't it?"

"What's in there?" Asked Snow.

"The vault I found the Crown in," I replied.

"I don't like this," said Sal, "it's too quiet."

I nodded and walked along the battlements and up to the vault, sitting on its lonely tower. As I approached, I noticed something… unexpected. All the jewels and other valuables I couldn't take with me before were still there! Every single one.

"Wait just a minute here," said Scyther, "if all the furniture is gone, why was the gold left behind?"

Slowbro walked into the vault and picked up a coin.

"It's real," he said, "not an illusion, not counterfeit, it's real gold."

"Why would all this gold just be left in the open?" Asked Sandslash.

The hairs on the back of my neck, though matted down with water, began to prick up.

"It's a trap," I said, "you back there, show yourselves!"

All at once, laughter arose. Two Pokémon walked out of a nearby tower and into view. One was a small, pick imp with a black fringe hanging over one eye, the other was a black feline with a smug look to its face.

"I was hoping to get you alone," said the imp, "but you just had to bring friends."

"A Mogrem and an Alolan Meowth," said Emerald, "not great matchups for me."

"Yo, the thing about traps is that you're supposed to get caught in them, yo," said the Alolan Meowth.

"What are you doing?" Asked Mogrem.

"Yo, what are you talking about, yo?" Asked the Alolan Meowth.

"Seriously, what are you doing, Dave?"

"Yo, what you going on about, yo?"

"Why are you talking like that!?"

"What? Team PWNK controls my ethnicity too, yo?"

"What ethnicity!? You just keep saying 'yo'!"

"That makes me more important than you, yo."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

Sal looked at me and mouthed: Let's beat it.

I nodded and we tried to creep away.

"Yo! Stop there, Yo!"

Unfortunately, we were spotted.

"Anyway…," said Mogrem, "you! In the mask! Join Team PWNK!"

Everyone looked at me.

"That's what this is about!? No."

"Why do you want Argyle, anyway?" Asked Snow.

Dave was about to speak, but Mogrem placed a hand over his mouth.

"We at Team PWNK fight for the future of Dark types. Tell me, have you been discriminated against or downright abused just because you were born a Dark type?"

"Um… no?"

"Then you haven't been paying attention! Dark types are shunned and outcast! We get arrested just because we were born Dark!"

"No. I was arrested because I'm a criminal," I said, "it had nothing to do with my type."

"Really, yo?" Asked Dave, finally free of Mogrem.

"Yes!"

They looked at each other and then got into combat stance.

"That invitation wasn't an invitation, yo!"

"You are going to join us whether you want to or not!"

"Team Razor Wind," I said, "would you mind taking care of the light work?"

A smirk spread across Scyther's face.

"It would be our pleasure," said Sandslash.

"Formation Gamma!" Said Zangoose, "Charge!"

The battle was… disappointingly quick. I don't really know much about Mogrem (they're not common around here) but Dave was much nimbler than the average Meowth and seemed to disappear whenever attacked. They both did that. However, Scyther ended the battle with a well-aimed X-Scissor. Took out both of them at once.

"That looked way too easy," said Emerald.

"Speak for yourself," said Slowbro, "I couldn't follow either of them!"

"This isn't right," I said, "Meowth aren't able to move like that."

"Mogrem either," said Zangoose," they prefer long-ranged sniping."

"Well, they're weird?" Said Sal.

Then, something strange happened. Mogrem and Dave were wrapped in a dark light. It surrounded them like a cocoon. When the light faded, the illusion was lifted. Dave and Mogrem were actually two Zoroarks!

"Zoroarks! That explains their speed!" Said Sandslash.

"Yo! They can see us, yo!"

"You're no longer a Meowth! Stop that!"

"I like them," said Slowbro.

"Of course, you would," said Snow.

The two Zoroarks got to their feet.

"Well, enough of that facade," said one Zoroark, "I am Don."

"And I am Dave!" Said the other one in glee.

"Don and Dave?" Asked Sal, "why do you have such ridiculous names?"

"They're short for Donald and David!" Shouted Don.

"Because that makes them less ridiculous," said Sal sarcastically.

"Lassie, would a wee bairn like you like to meet little Nessie?" Asked Dave.

"We're going to have a chat when we get home," said Don.

I felt around in my mask and found my last smoke bomb. While I was debating on whether or not to use it, Don pulled me out of my mind.

"You are going to join us whether you want to or not!" Said Don, "Dave! Shadow Field!"

Don and Dave let out a huge blast of dark energy. My sight rapidly faded as the darkness engulfed me.

"Argyle!"

When my sight returned, I found myself standing in a sphere of swirling dark energy.

"What?"

"Welcome to our sphere of darkness."

"What do you want, Bill?"

"It's Don!"

Don and Dave appeared inside my little dark bubble, rising up from the darkness.

"So, what is with the isolation?" I asked, "I don't date men."

"What the fu-? We've transported you here with our secret ninja arts!" Said Dave.

(Ninjas? Zoroark Ninjas?)

"So, in other words, you used your Zoroark illusion abilities to trap me here."

"We're ninjas!" Shouted Dave.

"Right…" I said, rolling my eyes, "and I'm a Buneary."

"A Buneary!? He tricked us!" Said Dave.

Don punched Dave.

"It's called sarcasm, you idiot!" Said Don.

"Sweet Pokémon Jesus! I've never heard of that Pokémon!"

Don punched Dave again.

"Anyway… you're coming with us, conscious or not," said Don.

"Behold, our dark ninja arts," said Dave.

"FUSION-NO-JUTSU!" Said Don and Dave in unison.

Don and Dave began running around in a big circle, gradually getting closer until…

"Tada! Jealous?"

The two Zoroarks changed into a single shiny Zoroark. When the new Zoroark spake, it sounded like it spoke with both Don and Dave's voices at the same time.

"Not really," I replied, "you became a shiny. Not that impressive."

"Gaagh! You speak to Dimitri, the great!" Said the shiny Zoroark, "greasy sweet!"

"What?"

"Have you no vision? Are you hearing what I beam to you? You think you have juice? Don't show me a little mind when talking about such big things... you think you can swing the bat? Show your bling and let me shine you!"

"Um… okay…," I said, utterly confused, "your lavender hair sucks, by the way."

"Let's dance, Sweeney Todd!"

"Huh?"

The shiny Zoroark (Dimitri, I think he called himself) charged at me. Right before he got to me, I tried to counterattack with Shadow Claw.

Everything happened in slow motion. I watched my darkness-infused claw come down, but nothing connected. A flash of rainbow light and Dimitri was gone.

"What? Gaaah!"

I felt claws going through my back and blood flowing as I was attacked from behind. Turning on the spot, I slashed again, but nothing.

"Okay, I've had enough of this."

(They're Zoroarks, so this "Dimitri" is probably one of their illusions)

Dimitri appeared once more in front of me.

"Are you on the sauce?" Asked Dimitri, "You cannot stop the thunder, bruh. Can a fish swim in a volcano?"

"Cut the act. What kind of name is Dimitri anyway? It's almost as bad as Davey."

"It's just Dave, yo!"

The voice came from my right.

"Gotcha!"

I used my trusty Agility / Shadow Claw combo and nailed Dave right in the face. The illusion instantly faded and the two original Zoroark appeared once more. Dave was holding the left side of his face, covering the fresh, bloody scratches. Don was behind me, probably facepalming.

"You just had to give us away, didn't you?"

"I didn't do that, yo! Did I do that?"

"Yes," I replied, "now, if this sideshow is over, I'm leaving."

"You can't just ignore us, yo!"

I ignored Dave and simply turned and walked out of the sphere of darkness. The light was blinding as I stepped back out.

"Argyle!"

"Are you okay?"

I couldn't see well enough to identify the speakers.

"Yeah, a little sore and, well… blind."

I eventually blinked my blindness away. Just in time for Don and Dave to follow me back into the light.

"Gaah! Turn off the sun, yo!"

Suddenly, my party surrounded me, glaring at the self-proclaimed ninjas.

"If you want to get to senpai, you have to go through me!" Shouted Slowbro.

"Well, it's better than Godfather, I guess."

"Our offer still stands," said Don, "join us and get all the respect you can ever want."

"I like my chances here better. Emerald, Team Razor Wind. You're on."

"By the authority granted to me by the Mystery City Police, I place you under-" began Emerald.

"I have a better idea," said Zangoose, "Scyther, Sandslash, grab them. I'm sure Quagsire would love to meet them."

"Wait, Quagsire?" Asked Don, becoming visibly afraid, "The Quagsire!?"

"Quagsire?"

"No! You can't do that to us, yo!" Yelled Dave, "see ya, yo!"

Don and Dave ran to the side of the battlements and jumped off the wall.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Said Sandslash.

"Okay, I'm lost. Why the Quagsire bit?"

"Quagsire is the chief disciplinarian of HAPPI, an organization built to help teams help Pokémon," explained Scyther, "Quagsire is known for three things: kindness, helpfulness and unbridled rage."

"Uh, what?" Asked Snow.

"Let me explain it to you this way," said Zangoose.

As Zangoose spake, each word he said felt like it was stabbing at my very soul. Sanity was very rapidly giving way to fear.

"I hear that Tyranitar is still unable to walk," continued Zangoose.

"Okay, I'm scared to death of Quagsires now," I said.