Pokémon Police Force Chapter 37: Bad, Bad, Badlands

Dawn had arrived the following day and I awoke with a spring in my step. Never in my life did I think a date would leave me feeling so good. It wasn't the most romantic thing in the world, but it was exactly what I needed. Now we sat, once again, in Meloetta's home, where everyone was begging for news about how our date went.

"Come on, girl," said Sal, "give us the juicy details."

"I've never seen you this happy," said Sheriashuu.

"It wasn't much," I said, "just dinner and a sunset."

"Looks like it's more than that," said Meloetta.

"COR BLIMEY!" Yelled Snow in surprise, "where'd you come from?"

"I own this place, duh."

"Wait, what? WHAT!?"

While the girls were bugging me, Argyle and Keldeo were deep in conversation with Gumshoos. Heaven knows what they're talking about. Team Charm and the other Swords of Justice were conversing with Magnezone. We were all supposed to be talking about the upcoming trip into the Badlands but Meloetta intentionally distracted us by mentioning our date last night.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Who is that?" Asked Arcanine, "I told the local police no visitors."

Lopunny walked to the door and opened it.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

The Pokémon merely shoved Lopunny aside and stepped inside. It was an old Carracosta with a bad attitude.

"Hey!" Protested Lopunny.

"He's one of Jessie's men," said Argyle, glaring a hole through the newcomer's shell.

Carracosta began shoving more Pokémon aside as he approached Argyle. He only stopped when Magnezone and Gumshoos got in his way.

"I have a message from our mutual friend," said Carracosta.

"Say it and leave," said Argyle, "we don't have time to deal with you."

"I don't think so," said Carracosta.

He pulled a small, black envelope out of his shell and tossed it at Argyle. Argyle, of course, caught it.

"From Shadow Saber."

Carracosta shoved his way back out of the room and through the door.

"Watch yourself, boy," he said before slamming the door shut.

"What was that about?" Asked Milotic.

"I want to hurt that guy," said Zebstrika.

I examined the envelope I was delivered. It was solid black with just a single red Honchkrow emblem on one side. This was Jessie's work, all right.

"Argyle, who was that?" Asked Snow.

"Carracosta. It was thanks to him that I found Jessie. Now, it seems he found me for her, just like three years ago."

"Open the letter," said Keldeo, "you know you need to."

With a quick slice, the envelope was open. Inside was just a short note and a picture. A format I'm all too familiar with.

Leave town and you're a dead man.

The picture shown a small army standing outside of the town, all wearing Jessie's colors. I spat a curse underneath my breath and slammed the papers on the table, which Gumshoos was quick to retrieve.

"Leave town and you're a dead man," echoed Gumshoos, "there's an ambush waiting on him."

"Who is Jessie?" Asked Gardevoir.

"My ex-girlfriend," I said.

"Wow, I've heard of messy breakups before but this-," began Bolthund.

"She broke it off," I explained, "she's a mob boss."

The room went silent for what seemed like a Torkoal's age.

"I'm surprised you've lived this long," said Gumshoos.

"So now what?" Asked Virizion, "the entire plan is a bust if Argyle can't leave."

"They're only after me," I said, "the rest of you leave. Not all together. It would draw suspicion."

"What about you?" Asked Rapidash.

"I'll leave by myself," I said.

"BZZT! THAT'S SUICIDE! BZZT!"" Shouted Deputy Magnemite.

"I cannot allow you to do this," said Cobalion.

"You don't know who you're talking to," I said with a cocky smirk, "they can't catch me."

"Ha! I like this guy!" Said Terrakion.

"Sal? Do you still have that thing you were talking about yesterday?" Asked Milotic.

"Yeah, but it's kind of illegal," she said, "at least until that bill passes."

Arcanine looked at Magnezone and then Gumshoos. They nodded at each other.

"BZZT! NOBODY'S LOOKING. BZZT!" Said Magnezone.

Sal slowly approached me and revealed a small syringe, obviously containing some sort of drug. The liquid inside was a kind of sickly green, almost like vomit.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's a type of medical steroid I've invented. It will increase your body's natural adrenaline output. In layman's terms, it will boost your physical capabilities."

"Why is it illegal?" Asked Lopunny.

"Oh, the drug is perfectly safe. It just uses some ingredients that are illegal. Honestly, the worst that can happen is that he gets addicted and overdoses."

"What happens then?" Asked Virizion.

"Basically, a sugar high times a thousand."

"If you think it will help, shoot me up," I said.

Sal grabbed my arm and jabbed me with the needle. I felt the liquid entering my body and suddenly a tsunami of energy flooded into me.

"This feels great!"

"How is it?" Asked Sheriashuu.

"I feel like I could push a mountain over!"

"Needless to say, it's addicting," said Sal, "here, take these."

Sal handed me four more needles, each concealed in some sort of strange box.

"That box contains more needles. It will eject one every four hours," she explained, "it will prevent you from overdosing."

I took the box and placed it in my bag.

"Back to Argyle's plan," said Gardevoir, "maybe it's not as stupid as we think."

Every eye was on her now.

"Like he said, they are only after him, so we could use the ambush to our advantage. We cause some chaos, take a few of them on our own-"

"We scatter their forces," said Cobalion, "it will give Argyle time to sneak through undetected. With any luck, they'll reassemble outside of town without realizing that Argyle already slipped out from underneath them."

I reached into my bag and pulled out five little smoke bombs.

"Alright. I have a better plan," I said, "and Meloetta will play a big part in it."

"What do you have in mind?" Asked Meloetta.

The morning had just begun. Meloetta floated calmly and alone into the Badlands.

"I hope Argyle's plan works," whispered Keldeo.

I fiddled with the lone smoke bomb in the palm of my paw.

"It has to work," I whispered.

"Who is that?"

"I don't know. Shadow Blade said nothing about-"

Meloetta interrupted them by singing. She sang a song about love and loss, and about finding love again in the heat of battle. It was a song about Argyle.

(But what does she mean by the last part?)

Sheriashuu nudged me and I was pulled back to reality. One by one, we donned our hearing protection.

Our foes slowly came out of their hiding spots as they listened to Meloetta sing. They were so enraptured that they didn't notice us lying in wait.

Suddenly, Meloetta's song turned into an ear-shattering shriek. The would-be ambush howled in pain, desperately clawing their ears.

"That's our cue!" I yelled.

We each sprang from our cover and charged at the reeling Pokémon. Those of us with smoke bombs flung them at the army. I nailed a random Bagon, chucking it straight into his left nostril.

Now in the choking smoke, we charged them and began our assault.

As Meloetta began her song, my mind went back to Team Razor Wind and Team Raider and all the others that helped despite my history. Now we were going to save them from a danger they know not of. I wondered what Zangoose and the others were doing right now. That is until the unmistakable sounds of combat brought me back to the present. I leapt off the windmill I was squatting on and sprang toward the action.

The plan had gone off without a hitch. Everywhere, there was smoke and the sounds of Pokémon fighting and choking. I even seen Meloetta once. Only, her hair was now orange and styled like a tornado. I shook the thought aside and ran into the smokescreen, tacking on a few Agilities for good measure.

I ducked and dove around various Pokémon, making sure that no one seen me as I ran. Almost as quickly as I had entered, I found myself running far past the sounds of combat.

(Don't look back. They've done their part, now you do yours.)

I ran and ran until I just couldn't run any more. Realizing that I just had no idea where I was, I decided to take a short break.

The Badlands really wouldn't be a place you'd go on a vacation. The ground was cracked and dry. The entire plain was disturbed by giant crevasses, steep cliffs and deep caves. It was like one gigantic maze.

"This… is going to take a while."

I studied the Wonder Map for a while and once I got my bearings, I set off once again. Over cracked ground, through crevasses and up cliffs I travelled. That is, until I came across a particularly long stretch of flat land.

"This must be the road! This should much easier now."

"I beg to differ, numbskull!"

Two swirling pools of darkness emerged from each side of me. Rising up from them like Rambo rising from water, were two very familiar-looking Zoroarks.

"Oh no, not you morons again," I said.

"Yeah, it's us! Wait, what do you mean by morons?" Asked Don.

"Exactly what I said," I replied, "you know, I hoped I would be attacked by someone who's actually important."

"We-we are important, bonehead!" Said Dave.

"Okay, Misters Important. Can't this wait? I am participating in the tournament, you know."

"No, it can't!" Said Dave.

"We knew you were joining. We heard the pink one's story," said Don.

"We tried to tell the boss about your powers, but that numbskull slammed the door in our faces, yo!"

"So, why are you here?" I asked.

"We're here to exact a little revenge, yo!"

"Honestly, I'm just doing this to spite our boss," said Don.

"No escaping this time, yo! You've got no backup this time, yo!"

"I guess you forgot the first time we fought," I replied, "I know all your tricks."

"Not this one," said Don, "Illusion Field Jutsu!"

The two Zoroarks began gathering up dark energy in their bodies. I braced myself as the energy exploded out of them. The energy enveloped me and everything went dark.

When the darkness lifted, I found myself in a world completely alien to me. I was in a large room with no doors or windows. The walls were made of bone and flesh. And the smell! It was as if I was inside a decaying body, or an H.P. Lovecraft novel. At this point, I don't know which is worse!

Darkness began swirling on two of the walls. As predicted, Don and Dave shot out of them.

"So, this is your big trick? A scenery change?"

"A room you can't escape from, bonehead!" Said Dave.

"I think you're the bonehead here," I said, "can you at least make it smell better in here?"

"Stop talking!" Said Dave, "this place will be your grave!"

"Are you ready Dave?"

"On it, Don!"

"Mythical move! Perfect-fusion-no-jutsu!"

The two began running real fast in a big circle.

"Not this overused mechanic again."

The two Zoroarks disappeared and a single shiny Zoroark appeared in their place.

"Every dog gets its day. Now it's time for this cat to get grilled. You picking up my bones?"

"Oh no, not this guy again!"

Strangely, this Zoroark, Dimitri, as they liked to call him, didn't have the double voice I've gotten used to. Instead, he had just one voice that seemed to incorporate parts of Don and Dave's voices.

"A boomerang always comes back. You think you can beat me now? My planets are the size of brains! Can stones fall upwards? Come over here and let me shag you!"

(I'm pretty sure he just asked me out.)

"I'm gonna punch you now."

"I've got a sticky wid-! Ouch!"

I punched Dimitri so hard that his nose began bleeding. It was then, that the illusions faded. The room and all its grossness and smell vanished and I was returned to the Badlands along with two Zoroarks, holding their bloody noses.

"Two for one! Score!"

"What was that for, numbskull!?" Shouted Dave.

"Next time, get illusion powers that don't fade with a single attack," I said.

"Healing-powers-no-jutsu!" Said Don.

Don ate an Oran Berry, followed by Dave. Their noses healed and the blood stopped flowing.

"You just ate Oran Berries! You're just making all of this up now, aren't you?"

"Shut up!" Said Dave, "we'll just have to kill you au natural!"

"Oh… someone's been learning a new language," I taunted.

"I said, shut up!"

Dave charged at me and began gathering up energy for a Shadow Claw. I ducked low and got him with an uppercut, powered by Brick Break. Nailed him right in the liver, too.

"Owie."

"For the love of Arceus, Dave. You're forgetting our teamwork."

"Then why didn't you help me!?"

"You aren't pulling me off that cliff."

"Um, hello?" I said.

"We're a team! You can't go abandoning me, yo!" Said Dave.

"You ran ahead without thinking!"

"We're ninjas! Thinking is for samurais!"

(This is going to take a while.)

I rifled around in the bag and found something I was never expecting: an Exploration Team Badge! When did this get in here? So, I discreetly attached the badge to Dave's hair ring… thing.

"Here, just eat this Oran Berry!" Said Don.

Quickly and quietly, I "replaced" the Oran Berry with a Blast Seed. Without looking, Dave took the Blast Seed and crunched down on it. Without warning, Dave breathed a plume of fire right in Don's face.

"OH, THAT DOES IT!" screamed Don.

Don and Dave began pummeling each other. I had already slipped away and was watching this scene from a nearby rock with a grin on my face.

(What morons.)

The battle ended quickly with a double KO. I waited patiently until two beams of bright light spirited the two of them away.

"Well, that takes care of that," I said, "I wonder where that light took them."

Back on the Water Continent, somewhere on the western coast, lay the explorer's haven, Treasure Town. The town is famous for two things: the cliffside cave known as Sharpedo Bluff and Wigglytuff's Guild. Wigglytuff is heralded as one of the most accomplished explorers ever and one of the strongest Pokémon on the planet and his guild is famous for training top-tier Exploration Teams.

It was business as usual here. Until…

"Now that the Guildmaster is here, let's start our morning cheers," said Chatot.

"One! Don't shirk work!" Cheered everyone.

"Two! Run away and-!"

Just then, completely out of random, two bright lights shot into the window and enveloped everything in their glow.

"Gah! Too bright!" Yelled Dusk, covering her eyes.

When the lights faded, there were two Zoroarks laying on the ground.

"Hey! Hey! Who are they?" Asked Corphish.

"WAKE UP!" Shouted Loudred, "WHO are YOU?"

"Quiet! Your voice is ridiculously loud!" Squawked Chatot.

"Yeah, shut up numbskull!" Said Dave.

The two got to their feet.

"We're Don and Dave. Ninjas supreme!"

"Wait a minute!" Said Dugtrio, "we've seen them on the wanted posters! They're outlaws!"

"Dog pile them!" Squawked Chatot.

"Meh, heh, heh!" Creeped Croagunk.

"What the-!"

It was just Keldeo, Snow and I. We lost track of everyone else. Haven't seen hide or hair of Argyle either. We must assume that he got through all right and carry on.

"You think that Argyle's fine?" Asked Keldeo.

"Didn't think you'd care this much," said Snow, "didn't you want to arrest him not too long ago?"

"Honestly, I just want to fight him," replied Keldeo, "as a warrior, I constantly seek to fight strong opponents."

"And this bodyguard thing?" I asked.

"Let's just say that the universe had other plans for me."

Two bright lights suddenly shot overhead.

"Could that be Argyle?" I wondered out loud.

"We have to hurry!" Said Snow, "the light came from over there!"

"No!" Said Keldeo, stopping her, "remember the plan. We have to get to the Octagon. If we go there, we may miss the entire group all together. Especially your brother."

Snow turned back, defeated.

"Keldeo's right," I said, "just ignore the light. Let's go."

It was just a few more hours of walking. A lonely and quiet journey.

"This silence. Makes me miss the old days of thievery."

As I walked on the road, I seen three shapes approaching me from the other side. As I drew nearer, I could pick out their shapes, a Drapion, an Arbok and in the middle, A Weavile. We passed by each other going opposite ways.

As I passed Weavile, I got the strangest feeling of deja vu. I've never seen this Weavile before, but I felt my mother there.

(Why do I feel this way? Is it because my mom was a Weavile, or…?)

"Hey, you."

I turned around and found myself face-to-face with the Weavile in question.

(She even sounds like my mom, but… rougher.)

"What's your name, kid?" Asked Weavile.

"Argyle," I said.

"Where have I seen you before?" She asked.

"Mistress Weavile," said Drapion, "he was on that wanted poster. The one with the huge bounty."

"We should cash in," said Arbok, "we are an Exploration-"

Weavile thumped Arbok.

"Ow! Mistress-!"

"Don't interrupt me!" She spat.

"You're an Exploration Team?" I asked.

"Team AWD," Weavile said, "but that's not important. I've seen you from somewhere else. I just know it."

"To be fair, you do give me a strange sense of deja vu. You kind of remind me of my mother."

"Well, you are a Sneasel, so…" began Drapion before he was punched too.

"Your mother. Did she go by a nickname?"

"Not that I know. The only thing I know about her really is that she had Roselian Flu."

Weavile gasped and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"You! You were that little-! Your mom! How is she?"

I couldn't look into her eyes as I responded.

"Gone. The flu claimed her."

Weavile froze up for a good ten minutes. She eventually let me go. Then, she slammed her fist on the ground shouting curses into the sky.

"Mistress Weavile!" Said the two cronies.

I knelt before her.

"Weavile. My mother. You knew her?"

Weavile stood up and hastily wiped some tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, I knew her. She was my best friend."

"Sorry I had to be the one to tell you."

"It's all right. How old were you when it happened?"

"Only about six in Sneasel years."

"So young. Why do you wear that mask?"

"I… don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"Fair enough. Are you going to the Octagon?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"We saw a huge mess of Pokémon around there," said Drapion.

"Hey, mistress Weavile, if this guy is as important to you as you claim, why don't we follow him? To keep him safe?" Asked Arbok.

"I think that's best," said Weavile.

"What if I don't want help?"

Weavile laughed loudly.

"You sound just like your mom," she said.

"Is that a… compliment?"

"My secret," Weavile said with a wink.

"Drapion, was that a compliment?" I asked.

"Honestly, I'm just as lost here as you," said Drapion.

"Well, if we're all going to the Octagon, we should leave now," said Arbok, "the tournament should start soon."

Somehow, I was now traveling with Team AWD. What was it about me that people just gravitated toward me? First cops, next all those women, then cops again, now Exploration Teams!? If I were to have a genie, I think my first wish would be to stop being so charismatic!

Nevertheless, with new traveling companions in tow, I set off once more. Weavile remained at my side, while Arbok and Drapion kept their eyes on the horizon, scanning for some invisible threat.

Sure enough, the further into the Badlands we got, the more the fur on the back of my neck stood up. Something was up ahead.

Something big.

We kept walking until I could make out about ten shapes out on the horizon. I stopped Weavile with a claw on her shoulder.

"Wait. I don't like this. Call it intuition, but we should find another way."

Weavile followed my gaze to the barely visible shapes on the horizon.

"Normally, I would follow your words but we can't. We're surrounded."

Arbok and Drapion were on guard, looking in every direction at once.

"It's true," said Arbok, "the rest are hiding in the fissures."

"I say we attack now," said Drapion.

"That's suicide against these numbers," replied Arbok.

Weavile, of all Pokémon, began to look unsure of herself.

(The needles!)

I reached into my bag and pulled out Sal's syringe case.

"Whatever that thing is," said Drapion, "I hope it can get us out of this."

"My friend dabbles in medicine," I explained, "in this case contains some experimental steroids she made."

"Is that legal?" Asked Arbok.

"Who cares?" Asked Weavile, "if it can help, we should use it. The lot of us aren't exactly clean anyway."

"Either way, that box looks tight," said Arbok.

I fiddled with the lock and had the box open within a few seconds.

"That looked… way too easy," said Drapion.

"It seems Sal underestimated my lockpicking skills," I said.

I handed one syringe to each of us.

"Only use it if necessary," I said, "we'll try to talk our way out of this first."

Silently and solemnly, we walked toward the figures. No one dared say a word until we could make out the newcomers. I could recognize the leader instantly. A blue bipedal turtle with a darker blue shell.

"Curses! It just had to be Carracosta, didn't it?"

"Someone you know?" asked Arbok.

"Let's just say that I wish I still had my smoke bombs right now."

I recognized the rest of the Pokémon as Jessie's men from around the Black Market. Surprisingly, Sawk and Poliwrath were here, too! I haven't seen them since Jessie sentenced them to the Pits. They were the Pokémon that waterboarded me way back when!

"They look like trouble," whispered Weavile.

"They are," I whispered back, "break through and make for the Octagon, they won't follow us there."

"You could've lived longer if you had gone back to the Water Continent," said Carracosta, "instead, you had to pull that stunt."

"Sorry, but dying is not on my bucket list," I said, shrugging, "but cut the act. Jessie- sorry, the Shadow Blade doesn't want me dead. You know that."

"The Shadow Blade!?" Asked Weavile in shock.

"What did you do, boy?" Asked Drapion.

"Broke up with a dangerous mob boss," I said, "and before you say anything, it wasn't my idea."

"So why the army?" Asked Arbok, "if she broke up with you-?"

"Wait, army?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," said Sawk with the creepiest smile ever, "we brought some friends."

Sawk snapped his fingers. With a roar of pre-conceived triumph, the Badlands were filled with more Pokémon than I'd ever seen in my life! Way too many to even estimate.

"You coward!" Spat Arbok.

"This is getting interesting," said Drapion.

"Carracosta, answer me this," I said, "Team Raider. What did you do to them?"

"We swatted them away like flies," said Carracosta, "maybe one day, they'll wake from their coma."

"Not Team Raider," said Weavile, "they're all going to the hospital, now."

I revealed the needle I was carrying and jabbed my arm with it. Raw, untapped power flowed through me, filling me with much the same rush as I get when transforming into Zygarde. The others followed suit, their bodies positively erupting with strength.

"Come on everyone," I said, "we end this now."

With a mighty roar, I called upon the power of Shadow Claw. However, since I was powered by adrenaline, the resulting claws looked much bigger and more vicious.

"What is this now!?" Asked Poliwrath in surprise.

Weavile called upon her own Shadow Claw, Arbok's fangs started dripping with copious amounts of poison and Drapion cloaked himself in poison. With simultaneous nods, we split apart and charged into our foes.

I plowed into Sawk, knocking him square onto his back.

"What now?"

"This is payback for three years ago!"

I tore into Sawk, enjoying his screams of pain.

"Get off!" Yelled Poliwrath.

Poliwrath threw me off of Sawk and into the crowd of hostile Pokémon, right into the waiting mouth of a Lickitung. Thankfully, with a few Agilities and a lot of struggling, I made it out of there before paralysis could set in.

I was surrounded on all sides by Jessie's men. Weavile and the others were nowhere to be seen.

(I can't rely on Zygarde. Not yet.)

"Now then, let's go."

I know not how long I spent in combat after that. It felt like it went on for ages. Good thing I thought to "stock up" on Max Elixirs before we departed for the Windy Continent. My entire inventory had depleted by the time I was done.

"These guys are way too strong!" Yelled a Bisharp.

"Retreat!" Yelled a Salandit.

The ones that could still run and were conscious, ran away, all in different directions. The others walked or crawled as fast as they could.

I collapsed on the ground immediately afterward, panting heavily.

"It- it's over," I panted.

"You did good, kid."

I forced myself to my knees and beheld Team AWD in even worse condition than me.

"Weavile! Everyone!"

I stumbled and crawled to Weavile's side, too exhausted to even stand.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, just tired," she said, "you know how to show a girl a good time."

"I think I broke my nose," said Drapion.

"You don't even have one of those," said Arbok.

"Oh, right. Ow…"

"First, some rest," I panted, "then, our injuries."

"Argyle's late," said Sal.

"Fortunately, the MC agreed to postpone the tournament for him," said Gardevoir, "I guess they really do want him to compete."

"I'm worried," said Snow, "what if Jessie found him?"

I took my stick from my tail and began gazing into the flame. It was just Snow, Gardevoir, Sal, Virizion and I out here. The others had their own tasks to do. We decided to stay out here, in the courtyard of the Octagon to wait for Argyle.

"Keldeo trusts him," said Virizion, "he is inexperienced, but that kid's trust is hard-won. I choose to believe Keldeo."

I gasped at what I'd seen in the flame.

"Emerald? What is it?" Asked Snow.

"I feel Zygarde getting closer," I explained, "and there are three others with him. They're hurt."

"Oh no, Argyle," said Snow.

"How far out?" Asked Sal.

"On the road to the southeast," said Gardevoir, "about a mile out."

"Gardevoir, watch them!" Said Virizion, "Emerald, hop on! We're gonna save them!"

I nodded and helped myself onto Virizion's back.

"Emerald, can I-?" Began Snow.

"Get the Swords out here!" I said, "Virizion alone won't be able to carry them all!"

Both Snow and Sal ran back into the Octagon. Shortly afterward, they came out with not only Cobalion, Terrakion and Keldeo, but a Torterra as well.

"A Torterra?" Asked Gardevoir.

"I'm with the medical team here," said Torterra, "I may not move as quickly as Zebstrika, but the Pokémon living in my tree are great at patching up the wounded."

"Okay everyone, run ahead to Argyle's side!" I said, "take anyone gravely wounded to Torterra!"