Pokémon Police Force Chapter 43: Law and Order
It was about a week of combined travel to get to Neo City. Jessie had left us right away to go take care of some problems at the Black Market. Teams Razor Wind and Raider left as well, heading north towards Treasure Town. The Swords of Justice, Team AWD and Team Charm remained with our entourage.
Neo City looked way different than the Mystery City I remember. Where Mystery City was made of carved-out tree stumps, Neo City looked like it belonged on the set of an ancient Grecian film. Every building was made of marble and concrete. The city was smaller, but the buildings were much bigger. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought this was some ancient relic of a city that was repurposed for modern times.
"I knew I recognized you!"
A Miltank came running up to me out of the city.
"You're in a lot of trouble, young man!"
Miltank grabbed my ear and roughly pulled it, like a mother disciplining a child.
"Ow! Let go!"
"I will not let go! Three years and not a peep from you!"
"You aren't my mother!"
"Well, it's about time someone is! I'll be sure to-!"
Miltank let go of my ear when she'd finally seen Weavile standing there.
"Who is this?" Asked Miltank.
"Weavile, my aunt."
"I want a double shot of Chesto on the rocks," said Weavile.
"Um, right away," said Miltank, before running off.
"What got into her?" I asked.
"You really don't get women, do you?" Asked Emerald.
"We'd better get into town," said Rapidash, "we've still got some prisoners to deposit."
Our group split after that. Team AWD remained with us, but everyone else went their own way. As for our group, we decided to head on down to Miltank's place. After all that has happened recently, a stiff drink was more than welcome.
Salandra led us to where Miltank had relocated her business to after the fire. It was one of the smaller buildings. A simple two-story building made of concrete and architecture the same as every other building in the city. The only real difference was all the signs and ads for the bar.
The inside was very different than the outside. It looked like a coffee house. From the tables to the counter, just about every piece of furniture was made of beautifully polished wood. In fact, with the lack of drunks here, it looked more like a proper cafe than a tavern.
Speaking of the patrons, it was a busy day, but not too busy. Waiters and waitresses moved from table to table, taking orders and delivering food.
Miltank saw us and hailed us over.
"Thought you might stop by," she said, "saved you all a table."
She pointed to a vacant table just a few feet from the counter.
"Take a seat and I'll be right with you."
We all chose seats, with Emerald and Snow right next to me and Weavile sitting just opposite. Strangely, there seemed to be an empty seat at our table.
"Where's that Mawile from before?" Asked Miltank as she brought Weavile's cocktail to her.
"Jessie had some business to take care of," explained Keldeo.
"Who might you be?"
"Keldeo."
"Pleasure. I'm Miltank. I own this fine establishment."
I had just noticed that Miltank was wearing a white apron with floral and bovine decorations on it, stained with the remnants of the day's labor. Miltank turned to me.
"Since it has been a while since you've been here, welcome to my new and improved café, La vache en lactation."
Emerald snickered at the name.
"Nice name. Where'd you come up with it?" I asked.
"It just came to me one day. I haven't a clue what it means, but it sure is fun to say."
"Place seems pretty upscale compared to the bar," I noted.
"That gift you gave me several years ago paid for it," said Miltank, "took me a while to sell the blasted thing, but it was worth it. Speaking of selling, what would you all like to drink?"
Miltank produced a notepad and pen.
"We serve just about every type of drink and cocktail you can imagine. The house special is my spiced milk. Quite the bestseller that one."
"I'm sorry, spiced milk?" Asked Slowbro.
"Straight from the source," Miltank said, patting her udder from over the apron, "the spice I use is a trade secret I'm afraid."
"I'll take some."
The vacant chair was now taken by a female Meowstic. Her white fur was one I recognized instantly.
"Ivory? What are you doing here?"
"Just checking in on my client," she answered, "is this seat taken?"
"Um, go right ahead," I said.
"Brilliant."
Miltank wrote down Ivory's order.
"You going to introduce us to your friend?" Asked Meloetta.
"Cor blimey!" Shouted Snow, making Miltank giggle, "don't you have a house? Why do you insist on bothering us?"
"I'm not picky," said Sheriashuu, "give me something strong."
"As for me, I'll take what you got me on our date," said Emerald.
"Red wine with Tamato juice," I reminded her, "as for me, my usual."
Miltank collected everyone's orders and promised to come back with the menus. Keldeo was about to order the spiced milk, but Sal jumped in suddenly and ordered for him. She got him spiced wine instead of milk.
"Sal, is there something you're not telling us?" Asked Keldeo.
"Let's just say that I have my suspicions," Sal said vaguely.
Snow smirked.
"Oh, I think I know what's going on."
"You'd be wrong," Sal replied.
Miltank returned with our drinks and then took our food orders. When she left with the menus, Ivory decided that now was the time.
"I'm going to cut to the chase," said Ivory, "I wanted you to hear this from me first. Argyle, you are in serious legal trouble."
"What?" I asked in confusion, "I done my community service, my debt to society is paid."
"That black baboon kept shouting profanities and a list of your crimes," explained Ivory, "it attracted the attention of one of the most prolific lawyers in the world, Lampent."
"So, you think Lampent will bite?" Asked Arbok.
"That bloodsucker can smell trouble a mile away," said Ivory, "he will. Let's have our dinner first, then we'll take a trip to my office."
"So, you never introduced her," said Meloetta.
"This is Ivory, my lawyer."
We had our dinner and exchanged some small talk then we all followed Ivory to her office. Ivory's office put Emerald's to shame. Her office was lined on the left and right with shelf upon shelf of legal books. Grand windows stood in the back of her office, making it look more like a doorway than a wall. She had a grand mahogany desk with a great brown padded chair sitting on the far side. Two sofas took up a majority of the remaining space. A smaller glass table sat between them.
"Take a seat," she said, "my partner is arriving with more chairs."
"Your partner?" I asked.
"Anyone want some coffee?" Asked Ivory, brushing the question aside.
Keldeo, Sheriashuu, Meloetta and Sal each requested a glass.
"Coming right up!"
Ivory opened her desk and pulled out five glass cups. She then walked over to one of the bookshelves and surprised us all by pulling it from the wall and retrieving a coffee pitcher from behind it.
"What?"
Ivory poured the coffee, including one for herself. Using her own psychic powers, she handed the coffee to their respective drinkers.
"Cheers."
Ivory downed her coffee in one gulp. It was still boiling hot too!
"Impressive," said Slowbro.
"Practice, dear."
The door opened just then and several chairs flew in and landed in the office.
"Glad to see you made it, Ebony," said Ivory.
A male Meowstic walked in, his expression in an eternal frown. He was followed by, surprisingly, Watchog.
Watchog wordlessly walked over to me and grabbed me by the arm. He led me to a sofa and made me sit down. Watchog sat next to me and Ebony remained standing next to Ivory's desk. The rest of our group chose our respective seats.
"Watchog here is my partner in… crime? Law? Order? One of those," said Ivory.
"I thought you were the district attorney," I said.
"Normally," replied Watchog, "but when I'd seen what went down, I decided to help Ivory out."
"You're just doing this to advance your career, aren't you?" Asked Sal, sipping out of her coffee.
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"And may I introduce my brother, Ebony," said Ivory.
"Ivory, I'm still not sure why you insist on representing this Sneasel," said Ebony, "it's quite clear he's an unrepentant thief."
"Call it curiosity," replied Ivory, "whenever I look at him, I just see someone that I must help at all costs."
"Yeah, costs to my bank account!" I said.
Again, Ivory brushed me aside.
"Watchog, did Lampent bite?" Asked Ivory.
"Oh yeah," said Watchog, "and he took the whole boat with him."
Watchog produced a manilla folder and took a stack of papers from them. He then threw them on the table.
"Argyle's being sued for damages to the Octagon," said Ebony, "and that's the least of it."
Weavile retrieved the papers and began nosing through them.
"A full criminal trial will take pace five days from now," read Weavile, "every single detail of Argyle's life will be reviewed and tried. What the ever-loving Voidlands is this garbage!?"
"Mistress Weavile, don't get worked up!" Said Drapion, "it's bad for your radiant complexion."
"Oh, go be a brown nose some other time!" Snapped Weavile.
Ivory swiped the papers from Weavile with her psychic powers and began looking through them.
"I thought that Zarude was going to prison," said Snow, "whatever happened to all that?"
"That part hasn't changed," said Ebony, "Zarude's trying to take Argyle with him."
"So, if he can't beat you on the battlefield, he'll challenge you in a different battleground?" Asked Keldeo.
"Not only that," replied Slowbro, "if those two ended up in prison together…"
"I won't mince words," said Watchog, "without some evidence, something to divert attention from Argyle's crimes and onto Team PWNK's activities, this case is looking lost already."
"For the sake of argument, if the evidence you were looking for just so happened to show up on your desk one day, could you use it in court?" I asked.
Watchog stared at me, Ebony looked offended that I would even suggest that, Ivory, however, smiled.
"We wouldn't need a search warrant that way," said Watchog as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Well, if it were just to 'show' up in my office, it would be ethically unsound of me to not use it," replied Ivory.
"Ivory, are you honestly condoning this!?" Asked Ebony.
"If you don't see anything, how can you be sure anything illegal happened?" Asked Ivory.
"Can you do this?" Asked Watchog.
"Oh no, he's smirking," said Emerald.
"You honestly have no idea just how good I am," I said.
"If he's anything like mistress Weavile, he'll be fine," said Arbok.
Defeated, Ebony spake.
"How much time will you need?" Asked Ebony.
"I can case Zarude's place immediately and rob the joint tonight."
"Do you have to say it so brazenly?" Asked Ebony.
"Do what you must. No one heard anything," said Ivory, "the rest of you need to stay so I can take your testimonies."
"Wait, take these," said Weavile, handing me something, "tools of the trade."
Turns out, she handed me three little smoke bombs.
"Now I know you two are related," said Sheriashuu.
That night I felt ready to begin my burglary. The "house" Zarude was staying at was actually police lockup. I've broken into here before to steal my file from Emerald, but security here has really improved. My goal this time was the prisoner requisitions room in the basement.
(I have to do this without being seen or this whole plan is a bust.)
At the entrance of the precinct, two Pokémon stood. Sawk and a Throh. I fondled the smoke bombs and then hid them back in my mask.
(I have a much better idea.)
I took an orb out of my back and chucked it at Throh. The orb smashed in his face.
"Ow! Who's throwing things at me!?"
A bright beam of light enveloped the two of them and they were warped away.
"Huh. I guess Warp Orbs were a worthwhile investment after all. Who knew?"
I entered through the front door and found something I wasn't expecting. Another Pokémon was here, a Pokémon that faintly resembled an oil lamp.
(That would be Lampent, I'm guessing. Gotta tread carefully.)
Unfortunately, Lampent was hovering near the stairs leading into the basement. I was going to have to maneuver around him in order to get into the basement. I ducked under tables, shimmied around walls and climbed shelves. I had managed to get under a table near the stairs. Now I just needed something to distract Lampent.
(I wonder if I can throw my voice.)
"BZZT! LAMPENT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? BZZT!"
"Magnezone? I'm just here to-"
"BZZT! YOU'RE TRESPASSING. LEAVE BEFORE I'M FORCED TO ARREST YOU TOO. BZZT!"
"But I- okay…"
Lampent hovered through the front door and out of the precinct.
"I can't believe that actually worked. I'm better at this crap than I thought!"
Without further ado, I descended the staircase and began my search. The basement was arrayed like a maze and I had to dodge guards the whole way, but I found prisoner requisitions quite easily and slipped inside.
The room was lined with shelf upon shelf of outlaw possessions. Luckily, the shelves were arranged alphabetically. I quickly found the Z shelf and examined it. There was only one bag on the Z shelf.
"Easiest job ever," I said.
I swiped the bag and walked back to the door. My hand was on the handle when I stopped.
(I wonder… does the police have anything on me?)
I turned back and found the A shelf. There were many more items here, but none of it was mine.
(That's good. While I'm here… I might as well head down to evidence and destroy anything Lampent might use against me.)
I left the room and began exploring the basement. Before I got too far away, I made sure to hide Zarude's bag inside a potted plant. More dodging guards and hiding commenced, along with a lot of guesswork, but I finally found the door marked "evidence room".
I stepped inside and found shelf upon shelf of marked white boxes of various sizes, each marked by the case number, not the perpetrator.
"This is going to take a lot longer than I thought."
I went from shelf to shelf, collecting boxes from every major crime I ever done. Fortunately, only the cases since I moved to Neo City when it was still called Mystery City were recorded. Still, I had an entire table full of evidence boxes when I was done.
(I don't care what they have on me, or what kind of attention this attracts. I'm getting a clean record right now.)
I took a few Blast Seeds and hid them inside the evidence pile. Then, as I was leaving the room, I tossed another Blast Seed at the pile. With a mighty boom the pile exploded, utterly destroying everything.
(Gotta hide.)
I had barely enough time to duck inside a cupboard before I heard the approaching guards.
"What was that?"
"Sounded like it came from evidence. Quickly!"
When the footsteps were long gone, I ran out of the cupboard and back to the plant. I unburied the bag and ran out of the precinct.
"I hope this doesn't come back to bite me."
"There was an explosion at the precinct!" Said Rapidash.
"What? Was anyone injured?" Sheriashuu asked.
"No, but a huge amount of evidence was destroyed completely," replied Rapidash, "we have no idea how many cases were compromised nor do we have any suspects."
"Do you need our help?" I asked.
"Normally, I would jump at your offer, but as you are witnesses in the Zarude vs Argyle case, I can't ask you for help."
"Well, good luck with that, I guess," I said.
Rapidash left and then Sheriashuu turned to me.
"You and I both know who done it," said Sheriashuu.
"Seems my boyfriend and I are going to have to have a little chat later."
"That still sounds weird. You calling him your boyfriend."
"I know, right!?"
"Argyle! Argyle! Come in!" Said Ivory.
It was just Ivory and I in her office today. The dirt-covered bag was laying on her desk, staining the otherwise pristine wood.
"Oh, where'd you get that bag?" I asked.
"Found it laying outside my office," she replied, "I have no clue where it came from."
She winked.
"So, does it contain what we need?"
"I'm not sure yet. First, I need to know your story. That will tell me where this fits in."
It was around noon by the time Sheriashuu and I decided to go back to Ivory's office. As we approached the door, we heard very distinct voices.
"So, what did you do in those three years?"
"Moped around mostly. I wanted to die, yet for some reason, I couldn't."
"And that's when your friends shown up?"
"Actually, it's a tiny bit more complicated than that."
Sheriashuu didn't wait for an invitation. She slammed open the door and stormed inside.
"You have some nerve, weasel!"
(Better get in there before things get violent.)
I walked in to see Sheriashuu holding Argyle in a literal stranglehold. Emphasis on the "strangle" part of that. Quick as a flash, I whipped my stick out and used Psychic to rip my fellow officer away.
"Now, now. What do I keep telling you? Arguments aren't solved by strangling people."
"I disagree."
"Now what is the meaning of this conflagration of interests!?" Asked Watchog in shock.
"That's conflict of interests, you moron," said Ebony.
It was just us, Argyle and the three lawyers in the room today.
"Is that what I think it is?" I asked, noticing the bag.
"Yup," said Ivory, "the contents of this bag are sure to be the final nail in Zarude's coffin. We were just taking testimony from Argyle."
"Then how about you explain that explosion in the police station last night!?" Snapped Sheriashuu.
"I honestly have no clue what you're talking about," said Argyle, "what explosion?"
"Don't play dumb!" Said Sheriashuu, "this is your handiwork! I know it!"
"Honestly Sherry, look at my MO. Have I ever caused explosions for the fun of it?"
I levitated Sheriashuu toward me and whispered in her ear.
"This can wait," I whispered, "when this case is resolved and with less witnesses."
Sheriashuu reluctantly nodded and I released her.
"I told you there would be no strings attached," Argyle continued, "no one seen a thing."
"Only those in this room know the truth about what happened," said Watchog, "keep it that way."
The lawyers continued taking Argyle's statement and we were released. There was only one rule: Argyle was not permitted to leave the city. Argyle made it quite clear that he didn't need anyone's permission to leave and no one would stop him from leaving when he chose to do so. He merely chose to hang around town and Miltank's café.
Then came the day of the trial. The courtroom was packed with friendly faces and even more unfriendly ones. Most of them, Pokémon I've lifted some… goods from in the past. Even Skarmory from Macovoy Manor was there.
The jury was full of Pokémon I've seen around town and even a Kecleon. Lampent seemed to be running a bit late.
(Please don't let that be a Kecleon merchant.)
The judge was the same Ampharos that was presiding over my last trial. Eventually, the courtroom doors opened and Lampent wandered in.
"Sorry for the delay," said Lampent, "there was a bit of a setback."
Lampent took his place beside Zarude. I could feel Sheriashuu's eyes glaring at me.
"Lampent, you may open the trial," said Ampharos, "there had better be a good reason why you chose to represent Zarude in this ridiculous case."
Lampent took his place in the center of the courtroom.
"Your honor, my client, Zarude, is a hardened criminal, we all know that. That is not in question. My client's only desire is to see the one who destroyed his dream brought to justice."
Lampent looked right at me.
"The accused is guilty of various counts of larceny, breaking and entering and damage of private property. The least of which, being the Octagon, a great tower where millions came to enjoy themselves every day. On that note, I'd like to call my first witness: my client, Zarude."
Zarude took the stand and a Swanna followed him to the stand.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Arceus?" Asked Swanna.
"I do."
Lampent's questioning pivoted around every detail of how Argyle stopped his plans and even went into Zarude's past. He tried to paint Zarude as the victim.
Ivory followed by cross-examining Zarude and letting everyone know that he's not just a criminal, he's one of the worst criminals in the world and everything that happened was essential to bringing him to justice. She then followed by bringing each one of my group to the stand as character witnesses, all except me. In fact, it wasn't Ivory that called me to the stand. It was Lampent.
"Argyle, exactly how long have you been stealing?"
"Objection!" Said Ebony, "leading the witness."
"Sustained," said Lampent, "Argyle, I won't mince words. I could call half the Pokémon here to testify against you. I'll make it easy on you, confess."
"Confess to what?" I asked, "last I checked, you need evidence to convict someone and I don't seem to recall the police ever giving you access to those files. Are you confessing to illegal activities yourself, Lampent?"
"May I remind the accused that he is not to act like a petulant child?"
"Oooohhh, scathing. Show me that in the official rules of court. Better yet, show me any sliver of evidence. Anything that shows that you need to keep me here."
"For your information, I have plenty of evidence on you," said Lampent, "Litwick! Bring in exhibit A!"
A Litwick I didn't notice before hopped up to Lampent and whispered something into Lampent's… ear?
"No further questions," said Lampent, "your witness."
"Where's your evidence, Lampent?" Asked Ampharos.
"It was lost," admitted Lampent, "in an… accident."
I smirked in spite of myself. Ivory walked up to the witness stand.
"Argyle, how do you know Zarude?"
"I just know him as the leader of Team PWNK."
"And can you describe the events that happened when you met Zarude?"
I went into detail about the preliminary match of the Octagon and how Zarude tried to get me to kill the Wartortles but I refused.
"And why did you even enter the Octagon tournament?" Asked Ivory, "you've never been interested in being the strongest Pokémon. What did you want?"
"Yveltal. The goddess of death," I said.
There was a surprised gasp.
"Argyle, tell everyone everything that happened at the tournament."
I went into as much detail as I could about the events of the tournament including the police meeting beforehand. The only thing I omitted was the parts about me transforming. There was silence all over the courtroom as I recounted the events.
"Your honor, I would like to present my exhibit A," said Ivory.
Ivory walked back to the table and retrieved the bag I lifted earlier.
"That's my bag!" Shouted Zarude.
"Thanks for clearing that up," said Ivory, "because I had no idea it was. It was just left outside my office one day."
Ivory walked over to Zarude.
"Now, if this is your bag, would you please open it and show the court what lies inside?"
Hesitantly, Zarude opened the bag and presented its contents: a small fortune of Cerebelomotion Seeds.
"Now, please tell the court what you found in there."
"They're… Cerebelomotion Seeds."
Ivory swiped one of the seeds.
"Leavanny, would you stand up, please?"
In the crowd of spectators, Leavanny stood up. Leavanny was a tall bug lady with leaves wrapped around her body that kind of resembled clothes.
"Leavanny, please tell the court about who you are and what you do for a living."
"I am Leavanny and I am Central Hospital's resident expert on poisonings and all manner of plant-based illnesses."
"Come up here, please."
Leavanny made her way from the crowd and over to where Ivory was standing. Ivory handed her the Cerebelomotion Seed. She seemed hesitant to take it.
"I want you to examine the seed and tell us if it's real."
Leavanny turned the seed over in her arms, looking at every nook and cranny. It didn't take long for her to positively identify it.
"For those of you who don't know the effects of a Cerebelomotion Seed when ingested, Leavanny, could you enlighten us?"
Leavanny went into a lengthy medical sermon about the seed in question. Ivory had to stop her multiple times to get her to stop using medical jargon.
"And what would happen if someone were to yank out the seed before it could take root?" Asked Ivory.
"The seed takes root immediately," said Leavanny, "for someone to rip it out, they would also tear the victim's esophagus. Blood would keep pouring into their digestive system until they literally suffocate on their own blood. It would be a long, painful death."
"Argyle, tell the court what happened to your mother."
"She died," I said, "over the course of four years, she kept vomiting up the contents of her stomach as well as copious amounts of blood."
"How old were you when she passed?"
"Six. The doctor said it was Roselian Flu."
"Leavanny, does this sound familiar?"
"It does. The symptoms of Roselian Flu and this condition are almost identical and can easily be misdiagnosed," said Leavanny, "but I believe that his mother did not die to the flu."
"Objection," said Lampent, "this has nothing to do with the case."
"Your honor, if you would let me finish, I am getting to that," said Ivory.
"Objection overruled," said Ampharos, "continue."
"Argyle, when was the first time you've ever seen one of these seeds in person?" Asked Ivory.
"At the Octagon. When Zarude forced one down my throat."
There were surprised gasps all over the courtroom.
"Thankfully, Slowbro removed it before it could do any real damage."
"Leavanny, thank you. You may return to your seat," said Ivory, "Argyle, tell us what happened after that."
"I noticed the similarities between what was happening to me and how my mom died, so I asked Zarude if he did this to anyone else."
"And?"
"He said he did. To a Weavile in the slums."
The courtroom was quiet as I spoke.
"Zarude killed my mother."
"As you all have heard. Zarude robbed a young child of their mother. No six year old should ever have to bury their mom. It was because of him that Argyle turned to a life of crime. This fight at the Octagon wasn't just about bringing a criminal mastermind to justice, but this Sneasel giving his mother's killer his just desserts. Your witness."
"No questions for now," said Lampent.
I returned to my seat, right next to Watchog. With Ebony on the far side of the table.
"I don't get it," I said.
"Get what?" Asked Watchog.
"I told them that the Octagon was one big mind control device, but both Ivory and Lampent let that slide."
"Now that you say it, that alone condones its destruction," said Watchog, "what's Ivory's angle?"
"You two are clueless," said Ebony, "the goal here isn't to drag Zarude through the mud, it's to portray Argyle as a hero. Heroes don't go to prison for doing their job."
"Then why don't you tell them about the whole Zygarde thing?" Asked Watchog.
"And tell them that I have a green germ inside my head that occasionally possesses my body?" I asked sarcastically, "I'm not going for an insanity plea here."
"I'd like to call my final witness," said Ivory, "officer of the Mystery City police department: Sergeant Noctowl!"
"Wait just a minute, Noctowl!?" I asked in surprise.
"What's the matter?" Asked Ebony.
"She's supposed to be dead."
The doors of the courtroom opened and Noctowl walked in, alive and well. I looked at her fiancée, Zebstrika. He smiled in response. Noctowl blew him a kiss as she passed by. She took the stand and Swanna made sure to put her under oath.
"Now, Sergeant Noctowl, could you tell the court who you are?"
"I am Noctowl. I've been with Mystery City's police force for a total of eight years."
"Tell us how you know Argyle."
"I was in the force when Argyle stole a priceless gem from Skarmory's mansion. I was part of the strike team that was hunting him down."
"I understand he fled town."
"He did."
"What happened after that? Spare no detail."
"Officers Emerald and Sheriashuu were tasked with following him and apprehending him in the field. We reasoned he was going to the Black Market, so I was sent ahead to Wreath City in order to wrestle up a blockade for him."
"Then what happened?"
Noctowl looked away and I'd seen her tear up.
"Sorry," she said, wiping her eyes with her wing, "this is painful for me."
"Take your time."
Noctowl took a few minutes recomposing herself. Even when she had taken care of all the physical signs of trauma, there was still a pained quiver to her voice.
"When I arrived at Wreath City, I found the entire place on lockdown. I asked around and found that they uncovered some unholy cocoon underground. That's when they figured I was asking too many questions and locked me up."
Noctowl teared up once more.
"About two days later, the ground started to quake and a purple flame erupted from a nearby mountain. I watched the evilest Pokémon ever kill everyone one by one. I tried to escape, but it was no use. The bars were too strong. Then… then I…"
"It's okay. You don't have to continue."
"Objection, your honor," said Lampent, "if she's dead, how is she here?"
"I don't know," said Noctowl, "I just woke up along with everyone else in the ruins of the town."
"It was Xerneas," I said aloud, finally getting it.
Every eye in the courtroom turned to me.
"Argyle, care to explain?" Asked Ampharos.
"Drat. Well, we had help in that final battle. Xerneas, the god of life and Zygarde, the Pokémon that protects the order of the world. Zygarde used its power to seal both Xerneas and Yveltal away. I guess Xerneas must have used his life powers to restore everyone in Wreath City to life."
"That is a pretty incredible claim," said Ampharos.
"What proof do you have of this?" Asked Lampent, "you lie, cheat, and steal for a living. Why should the jury believe anything you've said this entire trial?"
I looked around from face to face. Ebony drew my attention. He made a motion that said "go for it. Tell them". No way was I going to tell them about that.
"Well, I-"
"Hold everything!"
A Pelipper flew in through an open window.
"Saved by the mailman," I said.
"Get out of here," said Ampharos, "you're interfering with a trial."
"I've got priority mail to deliver! This cannot wait!"
Pelipper landed on the desk in front of me.
"We've really got to quit meeting like this," I said.
"At least I didn't have to fly through a hurricane this time!" Said Pelipper, "I need a vacation."
"So, what's this mail?" I asked.
"And why is it so important that you have to interrupt the trial?" Asked Watchog.
"Priority mail takes precedence over everything. Just like how littering is the most heinous crime underwater."
"What?" Asked Watchog in confusion.
"Nevermind that!" Said Pelipper, "the postman's code is rain, sleet, snow, hail, hurricane, or criminal trial, we will always be there to annoy you!"
"Pretty sure you added some parts," said Lampent.
"Nevermind! I have two letters for you, Argyle. First up is this rather girly-looking letter."
Pelipper reached into his bag and handed me a lavender shield-shaped letter covered with pink ribbons and bows.
"This is… nice…?" I said.
"Probably from one of the women stalking you."
"Sounds about right- stalkers?"
"You mean you haven't noticed the horde of girls outside holding 'I love Argyle' signs?"
I sighed.
"Why did I have to go into the public's eye?"
"Well, the other thing I have for you is this rather sinister-looking envelope."
Pelipper handed me a black envelope decorated with a red outline and spikes.
"Flawless delivery! Onward to mail!"
Pelipper took off and flew out of the same window.
"Could we get back to the trial?" I asked.
"Might as well open them," said Ampharos, "the trial's already derailed."
"Bad news first then," I said.
We all watched as Argyle opened the evil letter. I knew that the only ones that could afford to send priority mail was government officials or the rich and Argyle has two of them.
Argyle used his claw and tore a slot in the top of the envelope. He took out a small notecard-sized slip of paper.
"Well?" Asked Ivory.
"All it says is: found you," said Argyle.
As soon as Argyle said those words, several small balls crashed through each of the windows, shattering glass upon impact. There were screams and yells as smoke erupted from the balls.
"Defog!" Yelled Noctowl.
Noctowl furiously flapped her wings and blew all the smoke away. There were now new Pokémon in the courtroom. Each one looked super dangerous and were all carrying some sort of shackle, rope or other restraint.
"You're slipping in your old age," said a Sceptile.
