"What are we going to do with our bags?" Grazi asked Tony as they walked, nodding to the beach bag on her shoulder. "We can't take them on the rides."
"Riff will keep an eye on em," Tony said easily. "He always watches our stuff."
Grazi frowned. "He doesn't ride?"
Tony shook his head. "Nah. He hates going on rides, especially roller coasters."
Graziella nearly asked why Riff had agreed to come to an amusement park in the first place, then realized she didn't have to. Riff hadn't wanted to be left out. Hadn't Grazi agreed to come, skipping school for the first time, for the very same reason? If the gang went somewhere, she wanted to follow. Riff must have felt the same way. "That's nice of him," she said.
"Good of him to make himself useful for a change," Tony agreed, flashing her his most dazzling smile. Grazi felt herself melt. How in the hell had she gotten so lucky? He was damn gorgeous.
"I ain't saying nothing about that," she said with a giggle. She stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, still feeling a little nervous about the displays of affection. Tony grinned and scooped both her and her bag up in his arms. Grazi squealed as the rest of the gang started hooting and gagging.
"Get a damn room!" Ice yelled.
Tony just laughed, then started running ahead. "Hurry up!" he yelled. Grazi buried her face in his neck as she was jostled back and forth.
"Tony!" she giggled. "Put me down!"
Tony stopped, suddenly. "Alright." He set her down on her feet gently. They'd made it to the front of Steeplechase Park.
"Thanks for the ride," Grazi said as she got her bearings. "Not very smooth though. It could use some work."
"I'll work on it," Tony said with a smile. The rest of the gang caught up. Velma had gotten a piggyback ride from Mouthpiece. Riff lagged behind at the back of the group with Baby John. "Riff!" Tony yelled. He took Grazi's bag off her shoulder and held it out. "Ready to do your job?"
They left Riff and the pile of bags on a bench across from the Tilt-A-Whirl, then set off. Grazi sat by Tony on the carousel. She, Velma, and Mamie squeezed in next to each other on the scrambler, gleefully shouting obscentites at the boys when their cars passed. They played games, Tony won Grazi a bear by knocking down milk bottles with a baseball (the bear went to join Riff and the bags). They rode the Ferris wheel, then the spinning teacups. Then they stopped for lunch, hotdogs, fries, and shakes. Then immediately rode a shaky wooden roller coaster. Grazi should have expected what came next. By the time their train came to a stop at the end of the track, she was struggling to hang onto the contents of her stomach. Beads of cold sweat formed on her forehead.
"You alright?" Tony asked as he helped her out of their car. "You look kinda...gray."
Grazi shook her head. How was she the only one being affected? Did the rest of the gang have guts of steel?Her stomach lurched again. Oh God. She was going to puke. In front of Tony. She pushed past the crowd and, mercifully, made it to a trashcan before losing her lunch. Had anyone ever been so embarrassed in all of history? She doubted it. Gentle hands suddenly appeared and held back her hair. Grazi took a shaky breath, then managed to croak out a "thanks."
She expected to hear Tony's deep voice reply but instead heard Velma. "No problem, Graz. Get it all out."
Graziella took a few more breathes. "I think I'm done," she said, then straightened up. "If you could kill me, Vel, I'd really owe you one." She turned around and saw the rest of the gang standing at a distance, pretending not to see anything. Tony was with them, looking down at his shoes. Grazi felt a small pang of annoyance mingle with her embarrassment. Tony couldn't even look at her now?
"Nah, I think you'll be alright," Velma said, giving Grazi a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. She led her over to a drinking fountain and stood by while Grazi took grateful gulps of the cool water.
"I think I should sit the next ride out," Graziella said as she splashed water on her face. She still felt pretty terrible.
"I'd agree with that," Velma said gently. "Why don't you go sit with Riff and the bags?"
Any other time, Grazi would have argued. She would have tried anything to avoid sitting alone with Riff. But now, she only nodded. "Yeah. Sounds good."
"Think you can make it yourself?" Velma asked, clearly concerned.
Grazi wasn't so sure but she was embarrassed enough already. The new Graziella was supposed to be tough, cool. She didn't need someone to help her walk fifty feet to a damn bench. Cool Grazi also didn't toss her cookies in front of a crowd either but that was neither here or there. "I'll be fine."
"If you're sure," Velma said, still not sounding convinced. "I'll come check on you in a bit, OK?"
"Sure." Grazi started walking, her shoes felt like they were weighted down with cement. Her stomach still churned.
"Hey," Velma said suddenly. "Don't worry, Graz. They ain't gonna see you any different after this. Don't sweat it."
Graziella pretended to believe her. She forced herself to smile. "I won't," she said, her voice flat. "Thanks, Vel." Velma really was one of a kind. Despite her humiliation, Grazi felt lucky to have her as a friend.
Velma ran back to join the group and Graziella plodded off. The short walk to Riff's bench felt like a journey of epic proportions. By the time she had the pile of bags and the top of Riff's head in sight, Grazi felt like she might collapse. She managed to make it and flopped down beside Riff, who was clearly startled. He'd been looking straight ahead at the tilt-a-whirl, apparently lost in thought or in some sort of day dream. He jumped when Grazi sat down. "Whatcha doing here?" he asked, then frowned when he took in her sorry state. "You alright?"
Grazi didn't feel up to being polite to him, not when she felt so sick. Not when he'd been rude as hell all day. Not when she'd just humiliated herself in front of everyone. "Do I look like I'm alright?" she snapped. "No! Goddammit." She took a deep breath, trying to push back the recurring nausea. "I just made a complete fucking idiot of myself."
Riff didn't seem upset by her sharp tone. "Shit. What happened?" He looked more curious than anything, maybe even a little concerned. Grazi snorted. As if he cared. Still, there didn't seem to be any harm in telling him. He'd find out soon enough anyway.
"I puked. In front of everyone. I got sick on the damn roller coaster." Graziella shook her head. "My first time out with the gang." It all came crashing over her again. Her shattered image. Her budding relationship with Tony. She'd messed everything up.
To Grazi's horror, Riff grinned. "What the hell are you smiling for?" she asked. "That's funny to you?"
"No, God, it ain't funny that you're embarrassed but..." he trailed off and ran his fingers through his hair.
"But what?" Grazi asked impatiently. She hated being laughed at, especially by Riff. He didn't have the right to laugh at her, not after the way he'd been treating her. She hadn't really realized how bothered she was about it until that very moment. "What, Riff?"
"Promise you won't tell?" Riff said finally.
Grazi was taken aback. Tell what? "Um, yeah. Promise."
"You can't tell. I mean it." Riff was still hesitating. "I'm only tellin ya because you're so upset."
Now Graziella was dying to know. "I cross my heart, I won't tell your deep, dark secret."
"Well," Riff started. "Why do you think I don't like rides?"
Grazi shrugged. She wasn't really in the mood for guessing games. "I dunno. Why?" Then, it suddenly came to her. "You got sick on a roller coaster?"
Riff nodded. "Not just a roller coaster. Every single goddamn one. Every ride, actually. Or almost all of them." He looked sheepish. "Motion sickness, I guess."
Grazi was interested. "You ever lose your lunch in front of the boys?"
"Nah. They don't know." He chuckled. "I told em I think amusement park rides are for kids." He'd tried to protect his image. Grazi could understand that. "Tony knows," Riff continued. " He saw me barf a few times. But he's sworn to secrecy." He laughed again. Grazi liked the sound of it and she liked the way his face changed when he smiled. He looked his age, for once. "Tony hates puke," he said. "He can't handle it. He just shuts right down."
Graziella found herself smiling. "He wouldn't even look at me!" she cried. "He got really interested in the ground."
"He didn't do anything?" Riff asked. "He didn't say nothing?"
"Nope. Velma had to help me. Everyone else froze."
Riff didn't say anything for a moment, just looked ahead at the tilt-a-whirl again. "That's rotten, Graziella. I'm sorry."
Grazi shrugged, even though it had been pretty rotten. "Guess maybe it's better he didn't come over. He doesn't need to have those memories."
"Still, he should have...never mind." Riff grew quiet again. Was he blushing? It didn't seem possible.
"You know," Grazi said. "I don't think I've ever heard you say my name before. Until you said it just now."
"That ain't true," Riff said. He stiffened.
"It is!" Graziella insisted. "And I don't think you've ever talked to me." She turned to look him in the eye. "You've been a real ass."
"Don't take it personal," Riff told her. He looked down at his hands. "I'm an ass to everyone."
But Graziella wouldn't let it go that easily. "No, you ain't," she insisted. "You're real good to your boys. And you're nice enough to Vel and Mamie. It's just me."
"You're just new," Riff countered. "I'm set in my ways."
"Mamie is new too," Grazi argued back.
"That's not what I mean," Riff said.
"Well, what do you mean?" Grazi said, her temper rising. "Explain it to me, Riff. Why do you hate me so much?"
"Christ. I don't hate you." Riff looked defeated. "I really don't."
"Well, what do you mean by new?" Grazi pushed.
"It's just hard," Riff said. He sighed. "You going after Tony and everything."
Graziella frowned, genuinely confused. "Why? Not like I'm his first girl. And the two of you still do everything together. Not like I'm taking him away from you or anything." Could that be what Riff was so worried about? Losing his friend? "I'd never want to come between you two."
"I know," Riff said softly. "I know, Grazi. And yeah he's been with other girls. But it's different with you." He ran his hands through his hair again. Apparently it was a nervous habit. "Tony means the world to me," he said. "I don't want things to change."
The admission surprised Grazi. The boys never got touchy feely like that. "Things won't change," Grazi told him. She nearly touched his shoulder but stopped. "I promise."
Riff met her eyes, a strange look on his face. "They already have."
