Pokémon Police Force Chapter 52: What Real Friends Look Like
I was faintly aware of the sound of water dripping. Before I was even fully awake, someone threw something over my head and began dragging me away. As I walked, my senses gradually returned to me. My hands were tied behind my back and there was a burlap sack covering my head.
I could hear my steps echoing across the stone floor. A cave maybe? I could feel a smooth hand dragging me firmly by my elbow joint. Whoever or whatever had me was not friendly. We entered into a much brighter room and into the clamor and laughter of various unidentifiable Pokémon. I was thrown to my knees as one Pokémon began to speak.
"This Sneasel. Is this the one?"
"I already told you that I'm not dating anyone right now."
(That voice! Jessie?)
"Don't lie to me!"
Someone ripped the bag off of my head. I found myself in the middle of a large cavern with many different chiding Pokémon all around. On the walls was a large banner that was emblazoned with a brilliantly shining sun overlaid with a small sandy dune and two overlapping arrows.
(The Dune Bandits! Thought I'd seen the last of them!)
Other than Jessie the Mawile staring at me, I'd seen Slowbro tied up somewhere nearby, but no one else. Jessie caught my eyes and her eyes lit up with recognition.
I mouthed the word "no" and she nodded.
"I know you guys are not the brightest criminals in the world, but even you should know that Sneasels are all black."
"He could be a shiny," said a Toxicroak.
"Has Argyle ever been shiny?"
Toxicroak looked away.
"And even if he was, the Argyle I know never takes off his mask. You've got the wrong guy."
(Wow, she's brave. Wait. My mask is gone?)
"Well, let's see how he responds to a different stimulus."
From the left of my field of vision walks a Houndoom. She was wearing a smirk of absolute malice.
"Pyra!"
"Found you."
Pyra cloaked herself with fire using Flame Charge. She headbutted me and sent me careening into a wall.
"Argyle!" Shouted Jessie.
"Don't know him, huh?"
"Screw you, jerk! Play Rough!"
Jessie absolutely pummeled the living daylights out of Pyra until someone else came by and threw her off of the Houndoom.
"Thanks for the assist. I didn't need your help, though!"
"As charming as ever."
It was an Incineroar. If Pyra was here, this one could only be…
"May I introduce, the Sultan of the Dune Bandits and the king of thieves, Danté," said Sceptile.
"He already knows me genius," said Danté.
"You're the leader of these witless wonders?"
"If they're so witless, how have you not beaten them after all this time?" Taunted Pyra.
"Oh gee, I don't know. Maybe because I never tried to beat them," I said, rolling my eyes, "and for the record, I beat all of these guys a couple of weeks ago. By myself."
I'd seen a Mightyena try to shrink away.
"We'll deal with the incompetency issue later," said Danté, glaring at him over his shoulder, "did you really think a dye job was going to save you from us?"
"If this is about that Crown of Plenty thing, I got rid of that crap a while ago," I said, "let us go. We have more important things going on than whatever this is."
"This is about collecting a debt," said Danté, "you owe the Dune Bandits your life. We've come to collect."
"That's what the whole crown thing was about to begin with," said Pyra, "it was all an elaborate ruse to hold you until our men could seal the deal."
"I don't owe you jack!" I said.
Jessie ran over to check on me right as I was finally able to undo the ropes binding me.
"By the way, your knot tying sucks."
"Oh, but I'd say you owe me a great deal more than just your life."
(That voice! It can't be!)
The crowd parted and a large Pokémon walked through. It looked like a tyrannosaurus rex with hard brown scales and a yellow crown-like crest on his head. A Tyrantrum and a real ghost from my past.
"Tyros! You're supposed to be dead!" I said.
"Then how am I still alive?"
"You fell down a cliff into the sea! Tyrantrums can't swim! Everyone knows that!"
"You should've came down there and finished the job!"
"Argyle? Who is this?" Asked Jessie.
"Remember when I told you that I had to duel someone to the death in order to get into the Dune Bandits? Tyros was that Pokémon."
"So, you never really killed anyone!"
"Apparently not."
"You're going to wish you had," said Tyros, "we're going to finish that duel and you are going to die."
I glanced around and noticed that there were a few more than forty Pokémon here. Then, does that mean it's time?
"Jessie, has the Spearow landed?"
"Right into the hand of iniquity."
I stood up and walked over to Slowbro.
"I like the new look," said Slowbro.
"Trust me, you're not the first one to say that."
I knelt down and undid his ropes. Surprisingly, they let me do this unchallenged.
"I am not here to stroke your already overinflated ego," I said, "I'm taking Jessie and Slowbro and we're leaving."
"Oh no, you're not going anywhere," said Pyra, "reveal our trump card!"
"Get off of me you heathens!"
Another prisoner was thrown from the crowd. A Braixen!
"Emerald!"
"Argyle! Get out of here, before-!"
Emerald was cut short by a Pawniard resting his blade against her neck.
"Fight me or she dies," said Tyros.
"I knew you were a swine, Tyros, but this is low even for you."
"I'm afraid flattery will get you nowhere. Fight me!"
"Okay then. I'll fight."
"Just like that!?"
"Just like that."
I took a fighting stance, one very different from my usual one. My experience in the Distortion World has taught me the proper way to use my new powers. Everyone was quite taken aback that I was facing this problem head-on. Guess I have my Fighting Type genes to thank for that.
"So, we doing this or do you just enjoy the taste of dirt?" I mocked.
"I'd counted on you learning a few new tricks, so I got myself an insurance policy," said Tyros.
Tyros made a weird noise with his mouth. The noise reverberated off the cavern walls as the crowd got silent. Then, a cacophony of thunder sounded. Lightning struck the ground, violently upheaving several tons of stone upon impact.
"What is that!?" Said Slowbro.
"Our secret weapon," said Tyros, "Regieleki. A construct specially trained to kill you."
More lightning fell and even from my compromised position, I could see the scene quite clearly. Something descended from the ceiling. An orb of frighteningly crackling lightning and booming thunder. It was as if every Electric Type Pokémon in the world got together and made this. Its "arms and legs" were little more than lightning bolts bound together by three blue rings. The face wasn't as much of a face as it was a series of seven glowing lights arrayed like a horizontal line that split at each end.
It did not speak, it just sat floating in front of Argyle as if it were just a ball of plasma. Argyle grabbed his face with a pained expression. His right eye turned momentarily green before it faded and he returned back to his combat stance.
(Is he trying to resist Zygarde's power? Why? It would come in great use here.)
"Did you honestly think that I would fight you without backup? I never said mano-a-mano."
Argyle gave that same pained expression as before.
"I never expected you to fight fair. In fact, I was counting on it."
He got out of his combat stance and stood straight up.
"I didn't want to reveal this card now, but I'm all out of time."
(Out of time? What's he talking about?)
Argyle put his claws in his mouth and whistled.
(That's my cue!)
I incinerated the fur on my body, making Pawniard drop me in surprise. Then I took my stick and aimed it at him.
"Flamethrower!"
The resulting plume of flame sent Pawniard crashing into the cavern wall, knocking him out instantly.
Emerald then ran up to me and reached into her tail. She handed me a lump of leather.
"I hid your mask from them."
"Thank you."
I took the mask and fastened it securely back on my face.
"So, you got your mask back and freed the vixen," said Tyros, "is this the part where I'm supposed to be impressed?"
"No, this is," said Emerald.
Emerald sent up sparks from her stick, high into the air. Everything was silent for a minute before…
"One! Don't shirk work!"
"What was that!?" Spat Pyra.
"Two! Run away and pay!"
"Where is that coming from!?" Roared Danté.
"Three! Smiles go for miles!"
"What're you up to!?" Growled Tyros.
"Wait for it," I said.
There was a bright flash of light.
"Enter Wigglytuff's Guild!"
The light faded and, suddenly, the room was filled with, not only Wigglytuff's Guild but various Pokémon from town and even Neo City! Skarmory was even there!
Remember Skarmory? He's the one I stole the ruby from way back at the beginning of this fanfic.
"Wigglytuff's Guild!?" Said Sceptile in surprise, "how!?"
"What can I say? A bit of charisma and a few Perfect Apples can move mountains," I said.
"By golly, we may not have known Argyle for long, but he's proven himself to be a real friend," said Bidoof.
(A friend?)
"One might even say we're besties!" Said Wigglytuff.
"And any friend of the Guildmaster, is a friend of the guild!" Said Chatot.
Danté actually chuckled.
"Is this your calvary?"
"Not quite."
A random Throh was thrown against a wall. Then, our allies, led by Regalia joined the party. On top of all of that, our undercover "traitors" blew their cover and turned on the Dune Bandits.
"What the purgatory!?" Said Houndoom in surprise.
"You really should've done a headcount," said Emerald.
Sheriashuu ran up and joined us.
"You are all under arrest!" She said.
"Men and ladies," said Regalia, "do something violent."
The entire cavern erupted into chaos. Everything turned into one gigantic brawl. Everyone was fighting except for Danté, Pyra, Tyros, Regieleki, Sheriashuu, Emerald, Keldeo (where'd he come from?), and myself.
"So now what?" Asked Keldeo, "I've got a mind to take that Houndoom."
"No. I'll take all four of them on my own," I said, "the rest of you help the others."
"Are you trying to get killed!?" Asked Sheriashuu, "also what's with the white and purple ensemble?"
"Now is not the time!" Said Emerald.
"These four. They are my problem."
I took a few steps forward.
"I'll handle this on my own!"
"I've never seen him this fired up," said Sheriashuu, "what exactly happened at the mansion?"
"Trust me, it's a long story," said Keldeo.
Tyros stomped over to me and got his face within biting distance of me.
"Four on one? You've gone mad. Let me cure your insanit-," began Tyros.
I interrupted him by unloading a powerful Rock Smash right to his gut.
"-eeeeeeeeeee! Oof!"
He crashed into some brawling Pokémon when he landed.
"What in the world-?" Said Pyra.
"What gives!?" Roared Danté.
"How? Argyle's never been that strong!" Said Sheriashuu, "nor does he know Rock Smash!"
"Like I said before, long story," said Keldeo.
"What did I say about helping everyone?"
"Um, right!" Said Emerald.
Everyone left to join the others as Tyros wrestled himself from the crowd.
"Regieleki! Kill!"
"Oh, what's this golem gonna do?" I taunted, "give me frizzy fur?"
"Frizzy fur's the least of your worries," said Tyros.
Regieleki's seven lights blinked in an indecipherable pattern. Then, a glowing red crosshair appeared on my body, over the gem on my chest.
"Oh boy, that can't be good."
A smaller orb of lightning began forming in front of Regieleki.
"That looks like…"
(Crap.)
Regieleki shot the lightning at me with the strength and speed of a cannon. I barely managed to dodge it by diving to the ground just in time. Unfortunately, once I picked myself up off the ground, the attack circled around and hit me, exploding in a blast of plasma.
(Lock-on and Zap Cannon combo, huh? I hate it when the bad guys are smart.)
Another red crosshair appeared on my chest.
"I am not going to be used as target practice!"
Regieleki fired another Zap Cannon at me, but this time, I was ready. I spun to the side, making the move pass harmlessly by and ran toward Tyros.
(I may be a Fighting Type now-)
Another dodged Zap Cannon.
(But I still have the soul of a Dark Type!)
I leapt over the Zap Cannon.
(And Dark Types fight dirty!)
I slid underneath Tyros and aimed a Poison Jab right at his groin. Tyros fell on the ground, writhing in pain before the Zap Cannon found its mark. It wasn't me.
"Rock Smash!"
I sent Tyros careening into Regieleki. Both landed in a crumpled heap.
"Argyle!"
Someone tossed me a couple of Blast Seeds. I decided to use them. With one seed in each hand, I tossed them. Before they hit the two, I sprung forward and used an Agile Style Shadow Claw. The seeds burst upon impact, generating a large explosion.
"Two down," I said, staring down Pyra and Danté, "you're next."
"I don't know how you got so strong, but you'll pay for killing them!" Said Pyra.
"I didn't kill them. They're just taking a nap. As for you two, I am VERY tempted to do just that."
"End them now!"
(Shut up!)
"Looks like the thief here is flipping out," said Danté.
"I don't have the time to trash talk," I said, "I have to beat you now."
"You think you can beat us both, on your own?" Asked Danté.
"I know I can."
"Confident. Time to die!" Said Pyra.
Pyra called upon the power of Flame Charge once more and ran toward me without thinking. That was always her weakness. She may be great at planning heists, but get her angry and all that intelligence goes right out the window. Like Croagunk.
I reached into my mask and pulled out a smoke bomb, which I smashed right in Pyra's face. Then, I followed up by delivering a Poison Jab to her breast and then slamming her to the ground with Rock Smash.
"One to go," I said.
"Pyra really needs to attend anger management classes," said Danté, "but you're a fool of you think this is over."
Danté stepped forward and took a wrestling combat stance. We stared each other down for the longest time.
"You know, if you had stayed a Dune Bandit, you might've ruled the world from its underworld," said Danté, "but you threw it all away for a life of petty burglary."
"I am a thief. No amount of jail time or redemption arcs are ever going to change that," I said, "but if there's one thing I'm not, it's a murderer. I will never associate myself with a cult of killers!"
"You've not only seen our lair, but you failed to kill someone we told you to kill. You've seen too much. You must die."
Danté drew back his left paw.
"I am your executioner!"
Danté charged forward with dexterity I never would've expected from an Incineroar. Before I knew it, he punched me right in the chest with Fire Punch. The force of the impact sent me flying several yards back.
"Fire Fang!"
Pyra came out of thin air and bit me with burning hot teeth. I was still in her mouth when the initial pain disappeared. Then, I drew my arm back.
"Don't you dare," growled Pyra.
"Poison Jab!"
I aimed the attack right into her left eye. She dropped me in a hurry as she howled in pain.
"Head Smash!"
"Oh, come on!"
From the corner of my eye, I spied Tyros running toward me at full sprint with his head lowered.
"Enough of this! Rock Smash!"
My fist met Tyros's head, stopping him in his tracks. Our clash became a bit of a power struggle, with neither side willing to give an inch. Of course, a Tyrantrum has more power than a little Sneasel, so I began losing ground fast. I began looking around for a way out. That's when I noticed the red crosshair on my chest.
"Son of a Houndoom!"
"Hey!" Barked Pyra.
In the distance, I seen Regieleki charging up another Zap Cannon.
"DESTROY THEM!"
(No! I am not killing anyone!)
"Earth Power!"
The ground erupted from under Regieleki, blasting it into the air.
"What the-!?" Began Danté.
"High Horsepower!"
Two pink forms charged into view and bowled into Tyros, making him crash into more brawlers.
"Looks like we made it just in time."
The newcomers were a pair of Miltanks. They both looked identical, even down to the white aprons they were wearing.
"Milly and Martha? What're you doing here?"
"Did you just call me Milly?" Asked a Miltank, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"I told him your name," said Martha.
"You know there's a reason I keep that name secret, Martha," said Miltank.
Martha ignored Miltank, and returned her attention to me.
"We got Regalia's letters," said Martha, "said you needed help."
"We can play catch-up later," said Regalia, walking into view, "this ball of plasma is mine."
"I already told you, these four are-!"
"Not listening!" Said Regalia.
"Yeah! We're your friends," said Martha.
"And friends help friends!" Said Miltank.
"Friends help friends…," I said, "Milly, you think you and Martha can take big, brown and ugly?"
"If you never call me that again, sure," said Miltank.
"Come on, Milly. Let's slap this Grumpig!" Said Martha.
The two Miltanks ran off after Tyros and Regalia began wrestling Regieleki.
(Friends help friends…)
"Hey, Wigglytuff!"
Wigglytuff threw a Machamp against a wall and came trudging over.
"You called?"
"Care to help me babysit the kitten and puppy?"
"I am not a kitten!" Shouted Pyra, "I am way too adorable."
"Good grief," said Danté.
"Sure, I love pets!" Said Wigglytuff, "and I just so happen to have a PhD in veterinary surgery."
"If you are attempting to scare us, it isn't working," said Danté.
"I wasn't lying," said Wigglytuff.
"Wait, really?"
"Yoom-tah!"
With a mighty blast, Wigglytuff sent both of them flying away.
"You really haven't lost your touch," I said.
"You, on the other hand, seem to have gotten weaker."
"Blame that one on a new body and Chimecho."
I stepped forward.
"When all that food digests, that bathroom is going to have to be condemned."
Wigglytuff and I went to town on Danté and Pyra. Together we overwhelmed the two crooks. Wigglytuff with his "yoom-tahs" and me with my Rock Smashes and X-Scissors. When all was said and done, the Dune Bandits were all beaten and a victory was hard-won.
"We… won…," I panted.
"I don't think I brought enough shackles," said Sheriashuu.
"How? How did you all find our secondary base?" Asked Danté.
Emerald reached into the fur in her ear and withdrew her own communicator.
"A short-range communicator with built in tracker, made by yours truly," she said.
"Okay, did no one think about searching her!?" Growled Danté.
"As for the shackle problem, I called in a few favors," said Keldeo.
As soon as he spake, Magnezone floated into the cavern, followed by several officers and a Quagsire.
"A Q-Q-Quagsire!?"
"Seems we've… hmmm… arrived just in… hmmm… time," said Quagsire.
"Jessie, this Quagsire, is this the one you told us about?" I asked.
"That's him," said Jessie, "try to keep a low profile."
"BZZT! YOU ARE ALL UNDER ARREST. BZZT!"
"Except for these two," I said, pointing at Danté and Pyra, "they're guilty of conning me, thievery, murder, assault, stalking, escaping prison and BURNING DOWN AN ENTIRE CITY JUST TO SEND A MESSAGE TO ME!"
"Is that… hmmm… so?"
"Yes! They burned down my bar!" Said Miltank.
Miltank leaned beside me and whispered into my ear.
"By the way, try to convince your Salazzle friend to get me more spice. I'm running low."
I glanced at Sal. Now the picture of Miltank's spiced milk was starting to come together.
"You think we're scared of your stupid face?" Spat Pyra.
"Hmmm?"
"You will be," said Keldeo.
Then, a sharp pain pierced my brain, specifically on my left side.
"Argyle? You don't look so good," said Snow.
"I am sick of being ignored!"
(What's wrong? Zygarde has never been like this.)
"I think I just need a nap," I said, "let's go drop off these guys and get back to town."
