Chapter 9 The road to recovery:

I am going to the consultations with Ryou and Malik again. They are working intensely with my anger problem, Malik by letting me do a gentle fighting sport to filter my anger, Ryou by talking and doing yoga with me. they are also at the moment trying to figure out where my anger is coming from. And indeed, Yami is partly to blame for keeping Atem away for 14 hours straight. They gave him a very hard scolding for that. The other reason is because of Vivian and Sun, and the only way to handle that is to face them and tell them how I feel, maybe even reconnect with them but that will be a maybe. They all believe Vivian is the biggest demon in my life so when my fear for girls is taken care of, she needs to be taken care of second.

Then I also have to reconnect with Duke again, Ryou and Malik have listened to the tapes Yami recorded and they think he is only to blame for neglecting me probably because of Vivian. They think when I am recovered enough to face Vivian and Sun, and I am reconnected with Duke, they can offer him help as well. We want to try to get Duke to Egypt, offer him a job that allows me to keep seeing him and this time create a real bond with him. And allow Heba with him to be a father figure. Because that's something we both obviously miss, a father figure.

Heba and I reconnected, when I went to our apartment to think Atem gave me the time I needed, Heba however didn't agree to that, he gave me till evening, I said I didn't want to talk and he as stubborn as he can be stayed. When dinner came, he forced me to eat because I only had a sandwich this morning, I refused and threw my food towards him. He started to throw food back making me laugh and enjoy myself again. One food-fight with lots of laughter and cleaning together later we continued our fight in bath splashing Atem and Yami wet even pulling them in with clothes and all, because they at some point came to look for Heba. And when the both of us were diapered and dressed in PJ we crawled in bed and talked together banning Atem and Yami to a guest room or Yami's apartment. We became close brothers again, I even asked him to knock me down if I ever was a brat again. We laughed ourselves to sleep at that.

The next day, Atem had taken the day off and waited patiently till Heba would go and find mommy or do whatever he wanted to do before he stole me to himself, he and I spend it together outside talking together and trying to fix all our irritable things about each other. We made up together and in a secret bush we had fun like we didn't have in a long time. Our relationship still needs time to recover but this time….. We do it together.

Mommy and mama only said I needed to make up with those I hurt the most, and I did. I talked with all my friends, and they all say the same thing, allow Rebecca around you and overcome your fear of girls.

So now we are awaiting the Hopkins family, Arthur stays a few nights before he goes to the dig site leaving Rebecca behind with us. Leaving a girl in our care and for me the first time I really need to learn hang out with a girl since ever.

I'm nervously hiding myself behind Atem and when he isn't around Heba is my safety-net together with Ryou, they will catch me when I get to scared to face her, Ryou keeps talking to me calming me down while Heba is rubbing my back and giving me calming massages. Ryou once has given me a notebook and pen so I can write down my fears and I'm using that to the max. I'm already finished one and Atem promised me he would buy me a new one.

It's evening and the Hopkins will arrive any minute now, we all stand outside the mansion, and I hide behind Atem, He decided to help me with my fear, Rebecca will only be allowed to be around me when Heba, Ryou, mommy, mama or he himself are around. I'm still not fully in Yami's good book yet and he finds it a bit over the top to have someone around me when Rebecca is around, but Atem managed to tell him I get into a panicked state of mind when they even talk about a girl, any girl.

Yami allowed it but he wants me also to try and be alone with her, but both Ryou and Atem told me to take my time with that because in a way they know how high my fear is, I can't remember if he ever saw it till the full extension, however.

A car arrives and a girl with green eyes and blond hair nearly jumps out before the car stands fully still, she runs towards Heba jumping right into a bear hug with him, it scares me and it's that Atem is holding me firmly against him or I would make my leave right away. My breathing already starts to be ragged. Heba who noticed it soothes Rebecca exited state and in a calming manner he tells her "Rebecca, calm down, we have a new teen-baby here and because of his past he is very tense around girls, you can meet him but be careful okay?"

She calmed her exited state and then she looks towards me, she pulls Heba's t-shirt, and he turns his attention to her, she whispers something in his ear, and he nods taking her hand and guiding her towards me. "Rebecca, recently we found out I have a twin, he probably doesn't want to touch you yet, but be gentle and patient with him, give him time and I'm sure he opens up to you, meet my little brother Yugi, he is the new baby in here." He says gently, and that's literally since I am the smallest and the youngest... okay Yugi take a deep breath, she isn't going to touch you like she did with Heba, calm yourself. I say to myself.

The girl looks at me with curious eyes and gently waves her hand, I wave back and hide my face in Atem's neck, but during her introducing herself she also made a mistake. "Hey, I'm Rebecca, you are a cutie." Those last words that did it, I pulled myself free from Atem and ran screaming and crying from fear into the mansion right to our apartment and locking myself inside, I manage to take the blanket off the bed roll myself in a cocoon and hide under the bed.

I hear the door opens and see how the feet who entered the room look around, then I see the shoes as I recognise being from Atem by the bed, when they slide back, and Atem's hands and knees come in sight I hide my face into the cocoon of blankets and smell the bread I just created. "There you are, come on baby-boy she didn't mean it." He says with a soothing voice. "Heba is already telling her to be careful with what she says to you." He says and I hear rustling sounds, next I feel his arms closing around my safe cocoon and he starts to hum a gentle song. We lay there together for a while until I feel myself safe enough again to show my face, also the smell is getting a bit too much right now. "Ready to face the world again?" he asks me with a gentle tone in his voice and I nod.

He crawls back from under the bed and holds out his hand to me, I take it and he helps me out of the cocoon of blankets, he lays it on the bed. "Come on little stinker, you need a change." He says with a chuckle, and he guides me to the bathroom. I only manage a little smile, he started to call us all little stinker when we have baked breads and happily changes us followed by a raspberry on the stomach. Even Ryou, Heba and Malik cannot escape from his raspberries. If we were in different situations, I would wonder how he is as a real daddy.

Once in the bathroom I want to apologise. "Sorry." I whisper. While he zips my one-sie open and helps me out of it, I crawl on the table, and he brings it up to his height.

"Why? Baby-boy, if I only knew it was this bad, I would have fight Yami harder in convincing you to take it easy with Rebecca, I never thought it would be like this." Atem says. Pulling the diaper from my bum and starts cleaning me up.

"I always did it like this, as soon as a girl came towards me, I started screaming crying and almost running the crap out of me, this time I actually did." I whisper

"You even didn't allow them to talk with you?" he asks and stops the wiping for a moment to look up. I shake my head in a no.

"That I let her speak to me like is in my mind a rarity, girls besides Sun that is." I say sadly and feel Atem is wiping me clean again.

"Well than you have reached your first milestone by letting her talk to you Baby-boy, even it was a single sentence she said to you. You have taken the first step to recovery." He says taking a diaper and place it under my bum, he salves me and straps me up. Pulling me into a sitting position he then takes me into a hug. "Baby-boy, it's going to be a long road to recover, but we do it together. We won't allow you to become who you were until a week ago." He whispers in my ear.

"But what if a year isn't enough?" I ask while I hold him close to me and let my tears stream.

A gentle nibble on my ear calms me down and I allow Atem to cradle me in his arms. "Then we ask Arthur if she can stay longer and postpone her schooling. Now let's go see if they are in the nursery, and hopefully Rebecca is a bit more tactful now."

I slide out his arms and together we walk towards the nursery where indeed Heba and Rebecca are playing in the playpen, Yami, Professor Hopkins and our mom's sitting together in the rocking chairs and when they see us entering, they gesture Atem over. "Do you also want to play with them?" he asks me, and I shake my head and make the signal to being carried, he lifts me toddler style and holds me close.

Professor Hopkins nears us and introduces himself as Arthur towards me, I gently take his hand and also introduce myself, he has a gentle smile on his face and he doesn't feel insulted for the way I ran away, he saw the fear in my eyes before he could stop Rebecca and he reassures me it takes time to overcome a fear that I had for many years. "I think he is exaggerating." Yami says with a stern undertone in his voice, but Atem shuts him up real soon.

"Yami before he didn't even allow to let a girl talk to him, you saw him and how tense he got, how he tried to calm himself down! The fact Rebecca could talk to him is a big step for him!"

"He is right you know; a phobia isn't something to take lightly, and if I see how he reacted towards my granddaughter I could see his so-called stepsister never did something nice towards him. It will take time for him to recover, and I even wonder if a year is enough to achieve this, but, if necessary, I already talked this trough with your mother and we will stay another year then, maybe I even let her attend university here in Egypt." Arthur says. "Rebecca needs to know she can't have the same privileges with him as she has with Heba, and that Yugi needs a completely different way with how to handle him."

Atem slides me to the floor goes sit in a chair and I climb in his lap. "Yami I'm trying, but with what Sun did, it's difficult, how would you feel if you are pushed into a corner and the only way out is by allowing them to do with you what they want? Because that's basically what has happened to me, I was pushed into a corner and my way out came when Atem found me." I say with a tiny voice hoping it will break his ice this time. If she and Vivian allowed me to be me, I probably wouldn't be Baby Yugi, but just Yugi as a grown man not in need of diapers. Maybe I didn't turn out to be gay but maybe bisexual able to love people for who they are and not just their gender like I do now." I say and a sob leaves me.

"I want to feel normal; I want to enjoy that what they are doing over there not with one girl but with all the staffs' children around here, I want to get better." I say pointing to Rebecca and Heba who are making a drawing together while having fun talking about random things. "I want to come clean towards Tea and Anzu about me not being disabled but simply having a kink without them judging me and Atem for what we needed to do and say to get here safe and sound and for what I am in reality, a teen-baby and in a year an adult-baby."

Atem gently nudges me and when I look up, he does a gentle nod towards Yami, I look and I see I broke the ice, tears stream down Yami's cheeks and I feel Atem nudging me towards him, I slide off Atem's lap and carefully walk towards Yami, when I come into his blurry vision, he looks to me. "She really hurt you huh?" he asks me, and I nod and before I realise it, he has taken me in a bone crushing hug pulling me in his lap and holding me close in a protective manner. "I'm sorry Yugi, if I only knew how serious your phobia was." He whispers in my ear not really giving me the chance to breath.

"Yami I would appreciate if you left my boyfriend alive, he is turning blue from the lack of air." Atem says with an obvious chuckle in his voice.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

We are a few months further now, and Rebecca and I manage to small-talk with each other but she needs to stay at least two meters away from me, she also soon learned not to call me cutie or I allow my fear to take the overhand. And slowly but surely, she is making progress.

She also realises because I need to get used to her and I also want some time alone with Heba that she can't be around him as much as she was used to. Heba and I talk allot about my recovery and he truly is giving me tips how I can get close to her.

"Heba and what if we invite a few of the staff's daughters? Maybe with them around and seeing with how they interact I feel a bit more secure? And not only with Rebecca. Red please."

"You know, I think that might work." Heba says handing me the red pencil I just asked for. "But only the girl children will maybe too much at once, let's invite boys and girls. Yellow."

"And where will we meet them?" I ask while handing him yellow.

"Not the nursery. Mom is okay with us being there, but she refuses to let anybody not improved by her and mam into the west wing, maybe outside if the weather allows it?" Heba says rubbing his back with a strained look.

"You, okay?" I ask noticing his acting, he is doing that for the past hour.

"Hmm, my back is a bit stiff, I think it was the way I decided to sleep last night. I woke up with my head to the floor and my body in the bed."

"Come, Atem taught me an amazing way to help with a stiff back." I say taking his hand and guide him to the changing table where I take a puppy-pad and oil, then we walk to the playpen and I spread out the pad, next I help Heba out his shirt and tell him to lay on his stomach. He does as I say I lower his pants and diaper a bit and take some oil in my hand rubbing it warm and then give him a massage taking out all the knobs and kinks.

Heba is moaning when I go over a rather hard knob and really need time to work on that. "Gaaah Yugi! Damn I'm glad I wear diapers because I could not keep that one dry!" he complains.

"Sorry Heba, this knob is rather difficult. Also, it seems you have a small growth next to your scar you didn't have that before. I think we need to watch that one." I say gently.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

The party was a success, we did it in the gardens and the children all wanted to get to know me, I even allowed some of the girls close to me and I didn't panic. Heba, Yami, Atem and both our moms were there to keep an eye on us. Rebecca played with everybody and at some point, she tripped and accidently fell into my lap, I panicked. However, before the party started, I had asked Atem and the others to let me handle it alone for as long as possible, Rebecca immediately said sorry and wanted to take her distance, but I grabbed her hand holding her and allowing myself to calm down. She understood what I wanted to do and when I was calmer she sat down next to me, gently she placed her other hand against my cheek and waited until I responded. When it got too much, I took her hand away from my cheek, stood and ran towards the safety of Atem's arms. They all were very proud at me.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

A year has passed and although I'm still not completely over my fear, I can hold Rebecca's hand now without getting into a state of panic. She and I are standing outside the mansion awaiting her grandfather's arrival. Atem told me he had send updates about me towards him and he is impressed with the progress I already made. When we see the car driving onto the driveway I look towards Rebecca and she looks towards me, as a silent agreement we take each other's hand and walk towards the nearing car we see how big the smile on Arthur's face is and beaming with obvious pride.

He gets out the car and the girl pull herself free from me and runs towards her grandfather, with a smile I see how the two interact with each other while walking over towards me. "My, my Yugi, you sure surprised me when I saw you two holding hands, but I thought Atem didn't want you without supervision around girls?"

"True but three months ago this one was upset, and I found her, instead of looking for someone else I wanted to take the next step myself, I sat down next to her and offered her my shoulder." I say guiding them into the mansion to the shared lounge.

"I was surprised at first but when I saw the fear but also the determination in his eyes, I realised he truly wanted me to help him, and the other way around grandpa."

"And why were you upset my girl?"

"I was upset over the fact it seemed like I didn't make any progress with Yugi." She says with a smile.

"After that day Rebecca and I spend first 15 minutes a day together alone, and with each passing week we made it our goal to add 15 minutes, as you can see it worked out well enough. I now interact with all the children without panicking when a girl is around or accidently touches me." I say with pride.

"That's impressive Yugi, well done, and is your fear also gone?"

"No, the fear is still there, but I manage to handle it much better than before, she told me a great way to channel my fears towards a point nobody can see it, and with meditation I manage to do so. Also, with achieving this, Atem and I made it our goal to fly to Japan in a month and visit Vivian first and then Sun, so I hopefully can find closure once and for all." I say waving a servant and asking for drinks.

"Where are the others?"

"Heba had a meeting with Malik, Yami and Atem are at SC, they still are working on lowering the workload Yami had put them through until last year, but with each passing month they come home half an hour early, and Miss Sennen and Muto are running around here somewhere. They wanted to welcome you, but duty called. And since I am now aloud to be around Yugi for as far as he allows it, they hoped we wouldn't mind being the welcome committee today." Rebecca says. "It was fun to see how Atem, Heba and Yugi teamed up with me when Yami told them they needed to work longer again." She giggles.

"And what did you do?" he asks curious.

"Like Rebecca said we teamed up, we had ordered her and our mom's to fill the bath with ice cold water and the three of us caught him and threw him in it as soon as he came home, he wasn't allowed to leave the tub until he promised not to make the same mistake, he quickly called his client and with clattering teeth he told them to find a different company if he wanted it soon or he would be on the waiting list for at least three months."

"Well, it's an amazing surprise to see the changes you made Yugi, and I'm proud at Rebecca, I could never imagine you could do achieve this much." He says.

"Well, it's not all we achieved." I say secretly and the professor looks confused, but he keeps silent in order for me to continue. "I went with Atem, Heba and Yami to the three divorced family's, the both of them gave their sincere apology we told what happened with us and that my and Atem's fight made them realise that Yami also was at fault, Yami offered help to get them back together to pay for the counselling, two of them are already making plans to remarry, one of the families had problems before Yami started acting up."

"That's wonderful, good job. But I do have the feeling something is bugging you, my boy?" I look up, how did he?

Oh well. I take a deep sigh. "Yeah, I do have some reason for concern, but maybe I am imaging things I don't know." I say wondering if I should voice my concern.

"Then what is your reason for concern? If you want to talk about it off course."

I see Rebecca made her leave; she knows it's not about her, but I think she also figured I need to talk in private about this. "It's Heba." I say and wait for a moment.

"His back?" Arthur asks.

"Yeah, lately he is complaining about having a stiff back, he also has allot of knobs and kinks in them and about nine months ago I saw a growth next to his scar, he doesn't allow us to change him to check it to make sure it doesn't grow, and it worries me. He wears pull-ups now so he can clean himself."

"You fear the cancer is back huh?"

"And what if? What do I do? Can I take off from my own recovery in order to be there during his recovery? I wasn't there with his first!"

"Yugi, when the cancer is back, you can be there for him, but don't put your own recovery to the side, at least not completely, Heba doesn't want that. Have you thought about the possibility he doesn't want to show in fear you will put your recovery to the side?"

"Yeah, but last time I wasn't around, I want to be there for him now!"

"And I understand that son, but that simply means you need to compromise, you need to find a way to work on your recovery, and to be there for your brother. Maybe talk with Atem to postpone your flight a few months?"

"And how do I convince him?"

"By talking to him Yugi, explain to him that he also needs his checks to make sure the cancer didn't return, you need to convince him he maybe can lose his ability to walk if he waits to long. Cancer is like PTSD not something to take lightly."

"...Thank you, professor."

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

The Hopkins are on their way home, it was an emotional goodbye not only between Heba and Rebecca, but also between her and me, I am very grateful she helped me with my fear and that she took the biggest part away from it together with the staff children.

Atem had given me as a 'keep going' present a purse and a belt to hang around my waist, the one-sies are lovely clothes for me but they have no pockets, and it isn't fun to constantly hold my phone in my hands, so this was a very handy gift. I can store my phone and my important papers like my passport and drivers' licence safely away but still keep carrying it with me. It was an idea from Ryou to reward me once a month if I made milestones like these. I also liked the idea, but I told Atem only gifts that are useful to me.

I also have thought allot about what Professor Arthur and I also talked about it with Atem. He told me to go for it and if necessary, we will putt our mission to Japan on hold for another year, he agrees cancer isn't to be taken lightly and I don't want to lose my brother now I finally have met him, he also promised me to see to it I will keep working on my recovery.

So right now, I am on my way to find Heba who isn't in the nursery or his office, I walk to the main hall of the west wing when I hear something or someone falling down the stairs, I make a mad dash when I hear a pain filled scream and see Heba laying down the stairs tears in his eyes and the way he lays there I know we can't move him without hurting him more.

"HEBA!" I shout running towards him and sliding to my knees next to his head. "Heba talk to me."

"Y-Yu-Yugi..." he whispers with a pain loaded face and I can see he is slipping in and out consciousness. I slip the phone from my belt and call for an ambulance, I order a servant to fetch me a jeans, socks and my sneakers, because there is no way I leave my brother alone.

Before the ambulance arrives, I am dressed in my jeans and am putting my shoes on my feet, I don't like the feeling, I rather run around in only my one-sie but for now I don't care. Before they placed Heba on the gunnery they drugged him into unconscious before that they allow themselves to take him away. I sit next to him in the ambulance on the way to the hospital holding his hand for moral support and I'm happy I'm now able to speak broken Arabic to which we decided to put on hold for a little while I was working on my recovery.

I try to explain to the paramedic that Heba had cancer in the past and that I noticed the new growth next to his scar where they removed it the first time, but he was too stubborn to go and see a doctor for it. They try to ask me if I called someone else also and I realise I didn't, I didn't call mommy or mama, I didn't call Yami, I only called an ambulance. They tell me it's okay and to wait until we arrive, I explain I never was in this situation before and who I must call first mom or my brother-in-law. They tell me Yami sure wants to know first.

When we arrive in the hospital, they drive Heba into an examination room and order me to stay put. I take that opportunity to call Yami, and today his cell decides to die, stupid thing, luckily Atem made sure I have the company's number in my phone.

Phone call:

"Sennen corporation English or Arabic?" the auto machine says monotony.

"English." I respond back. And hear I'm put trough.

"Hello how may I help you?" The woman at the other line states with a cheery voice

"This is Yugi, I need to speak with Yami regarding Heba immediately." I say trying my hardest to keep my emotions in check.

"I'm sorry, Mister Sennen is in a meeting currently, I can ask if he can call you back as soon as possible?"

"There's no time, his partner is in the hospital! Please miss, I know you are not allowed to interrupt meetings, but I need my brother in-law now! and no his brother won't do for now!" I almost start to sob.

"I see if he can hear you out, hold on for a moment please." She says and that annoying tune starts to play. After a few seconds however I hear the ringing tone.

"Yugi, this is Yami, what's going on?" he says clearly irritated he is called out his meeting, but for now, Heba is more important.

"Yami, Heba is in the hospital!" I sob out.

"Whoa, what? Calm down little guy. What happened?" Yami surprised voice asks me.

"He fell down the stairs and the way he lay there he was in too much pain, so I called an ambulance."

"Okay, little guy listen to me, try to calm down, did you know how he fell?" I hear him ask and rapidly tapping his laptop. Probably ordering to call off the rest of the meeting.

I try to control my breathing and when I'm calm enough, I answer Yami's questions as good as possible. "No, I heard loud noises and a scream, when I entered the hall he lay there under the stairs, he was slipping in and out consciousness and I couldn't get anything but my name out of him."

"Okay, and how is he?"

"They are examining him now. but before they placed him on the gunnery at home, they ejected him something that brought him to sleep, they explained to me that he wouldn't feel the pain when he was laid down. At least I think he said that."

"Okay, Yugi listen to me, in order to come over I need Atem to stay behind at SC, you think you can manage that without him?" he asks, he has changed his attitude allot towards me and realises I still need Atem a lot around me.

"I want somebody here with me! My brother is in there and my Arabic isn't good enough to explain them what happened!" I start to sob out desperately.

"Okay, I'll be right there, hang on, try to explain them I'm on my way, okay?" Yami soothes me and when I reassured him, I will try he hangs up the phone.

It takes a little while when Atem suddenly calls, and he tries to keep me as calm as possible promising me mommy and Yami are on their way. He also helps me explain to the doctor about Heba's past. When the doctor is away mommy walks inside and she takes over the phone telling Atem she arrived and will take care of me allowing me to crash in her arms looking for comfort.

When Yami runs inside a very worried look on his face the doctor also just walks inside again and calls us over, there he tells us the cancer retuned and both mommy and Yami decide Heba gets surgery right away.

Yami is passing a hole in the floor, and I am laying on mommies lap softly sobbing until I feel myself drift off. Only to wake in Atem's arms and he tells me Heba's surgery went well, and he will be able to walk again.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

Little over 11 months it took Heba to recover from the cancer, and it's clear he is a brave spirit, when his hair started to fall out, he simply took the razor and shaved it all off. What Heba first felt the need to pee he now lost the ability completely, but he didn't mind, he is on a strict diet with lots of fibres and laxative, basically I am also now since we get the same food.

Heba even didn't have the need any more to be in the toddler mood so he gave all his girly stuff to the orphanage, I went with him that day and played with the children wondering again if Atem would be just an amazing father to one of these kids as he is to me.

I was there with every step Heba made on the road to recovery and with that the others all saw my determination grow to get better. And it was one bold question from my side what made Atem figure out how much I wanted to recover.

"Atem, can I have a laptop please?" I ask him suddenly out of nowhere when we are taking a bath together like we do now every evening simply talking with each other and not being baby and daddy, it is a great improvement on the recovery of our relationship and the both of us enjoy it to be simply snuggled up against and wash each other.

"Why? You never showed interested in it before baby-boy, it was hellish to even give you a phone." he asks a bit stunned.

"To write, I took a look to my office this afternoon and I have so many notebooks written full it makes my office looking like a mess, if I want to read something back, I need to look for the right notebook first and by the time I have found it, I forgot what I needed to know, I want it all together in one place organised so it's easy to find, maybe even make a book out of it."

Gently he pushes me away from him and I see he is searching in my eyes; they must have shown him a determination he has never seen before. "But baby-boy, to publish a book they want your name, you always need to face deadlines, do you really think you can do all that? Are you willing to hand over your name just like that in the open?"

"No because it won't be Yugi Muto who publishes the book, it will be Hikari, Hikari Otum. And Marik looked it up for me, there are also publishers who allow you to take the time you need to finish a book, they aren't big but that's okay with me, I don't want fame, I want to help people like me to accept what their habit became due to abuse." I say with a gentle smile.

"I have heard that name before but were. Yugi jog my mind will you, who was Hikari Otum again?"

Really? He was the one giving me that name. "I was when we moved over towards here. I always liked that name in a way and knew I somehow wanted to make use of it but didn't yet know how." I explain.

"So that's why you never wanted to throw that fake passport away but only change the date of birth. That explains allot." He says and thinks about it.

"Atem, you say I always complain about my hand is hurt when I have been writing a notebook full again, I can save on buying new notebooks every week and it simply makes it less messy as you call my office also allot of times, please?" I say and start to pull my dirty trick by pouting and making my eyes big and teary. I see him crumble but still wait for the answer.

"Okay, we go buy you a laptop tomorrow baby-boy. I need a new one myself since mine has seen his best days." He says pulling me close to him. "Please put away the kitten eyes?"

"Thank you." I whisper and gently start to play with his pubic hair, one of my nervous habits as Atem calls them.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

Atem, Heba and I sit in Atem's car and like two exited children Heba and I in our chairs. Heba sits next to me because first we need to go to the hospital, they want to see Heba to and tell him how the treatment is going, it takes maybe ten minutes and then we are out again.

This morning Atem asked at Yami the day off because of this, he agreed but only if we would go with Heba to the hospital and buy a laptop for himself and Heba, it didn't matter what kind we would take, Marik was a phone call away when we needed advice. Atem agreed on those terms, Yami's laptop is way older than his is so yeah, it's time to replace that fossil of him.

As always when I go outside, I wear a jeans pants with white, flashy coloured or black sneakers under them but there is always something that shows I'm an adult-baby. This time I have a blue t-shirt with baby-boy rocks written down on it, a picture of a baby-boy dressed in black clothing and rocking on a guitar with a pacifier in his mouth. Atem says It's too adorable to make it look bad ass.

Heba is dressed the same as me, only he has a bandana on his head, slowly his hair starts to grow again. Heba is sucking on a pacifier, something Atem finds sad because I don't like them and although I must admit it looks cute, but I only want the nipple from my baby bottle in my mouth, according to mama I always was a thumb sucker when I was a baby, and when I grew older, I never stopped doing it.

Both Heba I go inside the hospital and Atem awaits us in the car, knowing we will be fine because we do this together for the past 11 months. About 20 minutes later we return both whispering how we will do it but try to keep it quiet because Atem can't hear it yet.

We get in the car and Atem look curious towards me, when I say nothing, he looks towards Heba, and he only shakes his head and says "Later." With that Atem turns in his seat waits until we are buckled up and start to drive towards the electronic store.

I look my eyes out, and don't have any clue from where to look, I received a text from both Bakura and Marik with the threat not to install the laptops in the store. Knowing what they do if you ignore that I think I save the cash and let them install the laptops from me and Atem.

Heba and I have found a store employee and I am already explaining what I look in my laptop. "I want to be able to write stories, and I like to draw and want to illustrate my own covers, I need to be able to see my keys when I have a creative moment at night and don't want to put on the light to wake up my partner, music also is a big part of my life when my family is at work and I am alone, and I love to look movies without using the tv."

"Hmm with what you are asking you look for a graphic laptop, I have these models in stock." The man says and guides me towards the laptops, he lays his arm casually over my shoulder which I don't like, I shrug him off. I look to them all and listens closely to what the man is telling me about the laptops. But it makes my head spin, I know I need help. "How about you look which one is to your liking and I tend to your brother?" The man says walking towards Heba.

I feel Atem coming towards me and he and I are looking towards every laptop reading the options and everything. Then I slip out my phone make a call.

Phone call:

"Marik, I like all these models and only one is to my absolute liking since I can choose the colour of the lid, but have no idea what to do."

"Do you have a budget?" he only asks me.

"No, I don't."

"Send me pictures and I decide for you."

Phone call ends:

I do as he says, and make pictures of the details, it takes only five minutes when I receive a text back. "Thank you, Marik." I whisper softly when I see till my joy it's the laptop with the lid that I can pick the colour from.

"I take you have decided?" Atem asks pulling me in his arms.

"Yeah, I liked this one first but didn't know for sure, Marik gave me the final push to go for that one. if that's okay with you?"

"Baby-boy it's your money. You can spend it the way you want to spend it." he says. "Silly boy still asking me if you are allowed to spend your money on things, you can spend it the way you want."

The store clerk returns and asks if I have made my decision. "Yes, I want that one please, but with the blue lid and purple sparkled." I say with a smile.

"The same as your brother only he wants the purple and blue lid, you agree on their choice sir?" he asks Atem as if he is my dad?

"I do, actually I want two of the same also but one with a black lid and the other with a red lid please." He tells the clerk. I know he wants the red lid, where Yami keeps his profession and shows it everywhere even at home, Atem still has that playfulness inside him and loves to show it, it does not wonder me when he stickers the lid full of duel monster stickers within a month.

"Okay and do you want a professional to install the laptops it takes an hour and ten dollar more per laptop."

"No thanks, we do it ourselves and if we need help, we call our own professionals." I respond.

"But sir one-man Profs as they call themselves are known for imposters, the only two I would trust with such a job are Marik Namu and Bakura Akefia and they work under Sennen Corporation, I have heard when they are hired out, they ask money per hour worth my monthly salary." The man says turning towards Atem who starts to scold the guy. Heba pulls me towards the mouses and we listen with a half ear what they say.

Atem's POV:

"Not that it matters, but my brother is the one paying their pay-check and renting them out, since one of these laptops will become my brother's, and they also fixed my laptop many times before simply because they also work under me, I'm pretty sure they will go easy on those two." I say pointing towards Yugi and Heba who are looking for extra items to use. "Both Marik and Bakura have given me a strict list with the programs we need to take along with the laptops since they know what we want." I say showing the demands both Bakura and Marik have made.

The man takes his leave grabbing a cart and going to the back, after 15 minutes he comes out big 4 boxes neatly placed on the cart. "Do you want to use a mouse or are you using the mousepad?" he asks me.

Both Yami and I don't use the mouse, but Heba and Yugi do prefer a mouse, they both pick one that has the same print as their laptop, but they decide Yugi is having the purple with blue, and Heba is having the Blue with purple mouse. I also pick two extern hard drivers for both me and Yugi, I already had one laptop crashed in the past and lost all my important files, that doesn't happen a second time. In my world every laptop in my possession will have an extern hard drive just to be sure. And I will make sure Yugi does like me placing all his files at least once a month on that.

The man goes to take all the programs Bakura and Marik demanded. It's then I see Yugi pale up feverish patting his pockets clearly looking for something. "What's wrong baby-boy?" I whisper in his ear.

"I think I forgot my wallet at home." He whispers back almost in tears because he fears he needs to place his laptop back.

"It's okay, I borrow it to you now and you can transfer it back later today." I say giving him a soft kiss.

"Thank you, Temmy. Please stop you prick." He says softly. I chuckle and hug him gently and see Heba's droopy eyes and a large yawn escaping his mouth. He may be almost cured; he still is tired sooner than before and we all notice it even if he doesn't want to admit it.

"I think Heba is finished for now, take him to the car before he falls asleep in here, I will meet you two there." I say giving Yugi the car key, he takes Heba on his back carrying him to the car while I wait till the clerk finally has all the demanded items.

When he returns and sees the boys are out, he looks with a questionable look towards me. "Yes?" I ask him.

"Nothing, you want to pay this all at once?"

"Yes, and I wish some help getting this all to the car please."

"Why are your son's not helping out?" He dares to ask me.

!!... "Excuse me! Son's?... how old do you think I am? I'm only two years older than them!" I say shocked by this obvious insult. "One of them is my fiancé!"

"Hmm, and that boy with the pale skin? Is he free?" Really? He thinks Heba is mine?

"He IS my fiancé! And before you ask his twin brother also is engaged and no, we don't do poly-relationships so back off! And it's none of your business why I did send them to the car! Now will you please ring my items and call for a clerk so I can go home!"

When I have paid for the laptops two mousses, the programs and the two extern drives, and another clerk helped me place the items in the car I say Yugi to take the wheel, I'm to fed up to drive, how dare that man call them my sons while he is at least old enough to be our grandfather, and how has he the guts to google-eye my baby-boy!

"What happened Atem?" Yugi asks gently because Heba is asleep.

"Yugi? What if you would see me now for the first time, how old would you think I am?"

"Hmm, to be honest, I think you would be between 25 27, why?"

"That man thought I was your father."

"Hey, be glad, Yami already is getting grey. He can be way sooner our father than you." Yugi snickers.

"Yugi. Bad baby." I scold him softly with a laugh. And Yugi drives off the parking lot. "Thank you for giving me only a few years on top of my own age, that makes me feel a lot better." I say gently and enjoy the ride home.

By the time we near the mansion I have texted the guys to help me with the laptops, and Marik who has the day of stands ready with a kid he took under his arm as intern, they know who gets which laptop, so they don't care the programs are mixed up. Yugi and I take care of Heba, I notice he feels warm, and I see a frown in Yugi's brow, when we in their apartment, I place him on the changing table and Yugi tends to him right away, putting him in a clean diaper and taking his temperature. He shakes with a relieved face. Good no fever.

Later Yami told us Heba tends to get warmer when he is in a deep sleep.

After we tucked Heba to bed we go and find Marik and his intern, they already have installed Yami's and my laptop ready for use in less than half an hour. They are now working on Heba's and Yugi's laptop who need a little bit more time because they want to draw on their laptop.

At the afternoon when Heba was awake, both Heba and Yugi disappeared without a trace stealing my car, Yugi had sent me a text he and Heba are doing brother-stuff together and they will be home before dinner with a special surprise. Laughing to that I go and find my mom; I want to cuddle and since my cuddle baby is out, I need someone else for that.

Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.Hikari-Otum.

"But mooooom!" I whine retreating when mom stands ready with a ladle ready to hit when I come closer. "Don't you want a cuddle from your baby? Yugi also was rejecting me this morning." I try.

"Baby? You haven't even shaved this morning, look at you. You look like a homeless man! No wonder Yugi doesn't want to kiss you, you scrape his poor skin raw! And yes, I love a cuddle from you but not when you start to lick my cheek like your father did when he was still alive nasty boy! Now behave or out!" she says and turns walking back to her workstation.

The staff in the kitchen are amused because I don't let my cuddle time go by this easy, so I brace myself and run towards mom and catch her in my arms. With a yelp mom loses the ladle, it falls to the floor with a clatter, and she laughs loudly. Man, I can't remember the last time mom and I had this much fun together. Mom closes her arms around my neck. "You're hopeless." She whispers.

"I know, but you enjoy it so I probably will never learn mom." I say with a smile.

"Uh I didn't give you the day of so you could chase mom down, I thought you were going to buy laptops with the kids, but the car is obviously missing with them, and you are here." We hear the voice from Yami and with mom still in my arms I turn.

"Oh the laptops we bought this morning, they are already ready for use you have the one with the black lid, the kids are having brother quality time and Yugi stole the car, if you want me to return to work after I ran an errand we should maybe give Yugi his own car so he can't take mine. And since I wanted a cuddle, I took it on mom." I say and place mom back on her feet. She quickly turns and pinches my sides and I squeak. Must have sound very funny because the staff have trouble holding their laugh and tears in their eyes, Yami doesn't even bother he is on the floor laughing his ass off. I hate it when she does that.

The staff has more and more trouble holding in their laughter especially when mom throws a wet sponge towards me, I dodge it give it a kick and Yami gets the blow. Yami looks shocked, he slowly stands, and then he says. "This means WAR!" The staff immediately divides in three picking side and the water fight starts. Oh man we have old fashion fun with no worries at all.

"Malika! I leave you alone for 10 minutes and the kitchen is one water explosion, what happened?" we all turn like one man, staff and the three of us, we all have wet sponges and towels in hand, Diya who sees the obvious danger raises her finger. "I'm not cleaning up this mess. Have fun!" escaping the kitchen but is too late because Yami grabbed her. And the water war continuous for another I don't know how long time.

When we are tired of the war, we all cleaned up the mess and go to our apartments to redress ourselves the kids walk inside the wing and seeing our dripping wet clothes. They look towards each other with an obvious sweat drop and decide their cargo is too precious to drop if they have the guts to ask and get the same fate. So, they simply walk to the nursery.

Yugi's pov:

"I wonder what they did." Heba says when we placed the cargo safely on the table and preparing to set it up.

"Knowing the fun, they had when we were still little and when we were neighbours, they had a massive water fight. And I have a feeling Atem started it."

"Good although Yami is CEO even he deserves to have some fun. He already is turning grey Yugi! How does Atem that?"

"Atem simply enjoys life, maybe that's why he still has his own colours, but this morning he was a little upset about that store clerk who helped us."

"Huh?"

"It happened when we already were in the car, that guy thought Atem was our dad. And that guy was obviously hitting on me." I say and let a shiver go down my back.

"Yeah, well here in Egypt age is simply a number."

"Yeah, I know, but the idea of having a man that could easy be my grandfather, no thanks I pass for that."

"Yeah, I agree, we can be lucky we have boyfriends around our age. Hey when are you two flying to Japan?"

"In three weeks, and Atem and I planned at least six months for this mission but we would return sooner if we succeeded. Why?"

"It's that, they have a convention going this year about adult toddlers and baby's it's every five years in Egypt and Yami and I went five years ago and I kinda was hoping you would come along?"

"I don't know, that sounds like allot of people coming Heba."

"Oh, come on Yugi, you have become so much stronger than before Rebecca, what's holding you back?"

"Gee I don't know the fact I wear diapers maybe and use them till the max!"

"Yugi! It's a teen/adult baby/toddler thing, most of those people walk in diapers. And believe me they are way worse than you have seen in the store in Tokyo or over here with Malik." He says pulling me to the changing table and stripping me from my clothes. I lay on the table and let him change me.

"What do you mean?" I ask knowing what he means by Malik who when he needs a change always manages to jump off the table running around naked even outside the nursery. Thank gods he always stays in the west wing.

"Most of them only have a diaper around their bum, even the toddlers, the boobs from the woman aren't covered and simply sway around. And although we only see and change each other even Malik and Ryou, we are the few that let us change in a secure stall, there are men and woman they let them change where they stand. The toddlers take out their pants and pee when everybody looks."

"I think about it, when is that? Remember, Atem and I have taken six months for our trip so I can maybe reconnect with Sun and maybe adopt her." I say and swap with Heba, I clean his bum and place a new diaper around his torso. Then I take my favourite one-sie and dress myself into it. While he dresses himself in his clothes.

"It's in nine months. But if we want to go, we need to sign up within three weeks or we are too late they allow only a certain number of people inside to make the clean-up easier."

"I think and talk about it with Atem."

"Let's make a deal, you start to wear the same diapers as I, and I allow you to dress me in one-sies. If we go."

"Not going to happen Heba. You ready?"

"I am." Heba says with a pout on his face but walking to the baby monitor and switching it on. We stand next to each other and in our cutest baby voices we call. "MAMAMAMAMAMA!!!! DADADADADADADA!!!"

"What is it kids?" we hear several voices calling back to us.

"COME PWAY. COME PWAY!"

No responds.

"PWAY, PWAY, PWAY!" we keep calling out until the door from the nursery finally opens and both daddy's and mommy's walk inside. We run towards our daddy and pull them towards the snuggle corner pushing them in the pillows laying there, then we run back and take the mom's hands and bring them to the wobble chairs, we hand them a book Heba, and I are working on since he got sick again. Then we cuddle ourselves against Yami and Atem and call out. "WREAD MAMAMAMA."

First mommy opens the book and starts to read, about Heba. She shows the picture and Yami aaws at the sight. When she wants to flip to the next page Heba calls out. "Mama you now." so she does as Heba said and follows mommy's example. We made both a book with memories that are precious to us like Heba as baby, I as baby from pictures Atem found when he sold the house, little story's, milestones and so on all from the past 20 years.

After an hour mommy flips to the last page and when she sees it tears spring in her eyes, she says nothing simply holding up the book and the last page reads . I beat cancer for good this time. With the date from today.

Yami who needs to rub his eyes reads the page again and then he hugs Heba. "Really?"

"Remember 8 years ago, they said they could not take all because of the risk of me become paralyzed, this time they took the risk because you said you always would love me wheelchair bounded or not. They told us today and according to them I'm stronger than 8 years ago. They only weren't satisfied over the fact I'm now fully diaper bound."

"If that is the only setback, you still are my adorable baby." Yami says with a smile.

Then it's time for mama to turn the last page and sees it's empty. "Why is this page blank?"

"Because that will be filled when I come home with Atem." I say with a smile.

The books which we called Heba, and the other Yugi found a spot next to the other books in the nursery.

14