We were miserable before, but we didn't know it. You don't realize you're missing something until you find it, and once you have it you know that you can never go back. You can't even remember what life was like before. We had been traveling down parallel paths that never collided. We were there, next to each other, all the time, but we never once touched, never once even considered it.

It started with necessity. A favor. He needed something, and I gave it to him. But he gave me something too. He gave me assurance that the world wasn't always so dark and terrifying, that the world may seem lonely and angry, but there were still pieces of good scattered throughout. I never once would have guessed that he would be the one to remind me of it, but like I said: you never realize what you're missing until you find it.

And even though no one quite understood our story, they respected how comfortably we floated through the world together. And that was all I could ask for, because I didn't have the words to explain how we worked. I just knew that we did.

"Harry, stop. We need to be away for a while. Consider it a honeymoon." I moved around my best friend and continued packing clothes into the same worn trunk I'd used in my childhood.

"Do you really, though? Wouldn't it be better to remain close to home right now?"

I shook my head fiercely. "I need to be alone with my husband right now." I looked Harry square in the eye. "And I need you to support this decision. You're the only other person with access to the house. It's important for us right now to be away from all the drama." I closed my trunk and dragged it off my bed.

Just then, Draco walked in. I felt calm for the first time all day.

"Honey! Tell Harry we'll be fine!" I walked over to Draco and rested my hand on his arm.

Harry looked more concerned than he did before. "Hermione-"

"Harry, no! I love you, but no. Our decision is final." Draco reached for my trunk and dragged it downstairs to the fireplace. I stood with Harry in my bedroom in a short staring contest. If he hadn't been so annoying I might have found this moment humorous. I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be home soon. Say goodbye to Ginny for me." His mouth tightened into a line and he nodded his head. "Good. Now walk us out."

I understood why he was worried, but he knew I was with Draco, and Draco would never let something bad happen to me. As we approached the floo I smiled at Draco who was waiting patiently next to our luggage. I hugged Harry one last time and heard my husband reassure him that we would be fine.

Together we stepped into the fireplace and traveled to his country house in Scotland. It was quiet here, but it was a beautiful sort of quiet that felt so stark and shocking compared to the city we lived in. I felt I could finally breathe. The tension and movement of the city were behind us.

"I'll put the bags inside, you go and explore." Draco leaned in and kissed my forehead before walking into our cottage. He'd built this escape for us a couple of years into our relationship. He wanted us to have a place where we could fully submerge into nature, beauty, wonderment. It was the perfect place for our honeymoon. Secluded and serene. Our home away from home.

Behind the house was a cliff that overlooked the ocean. I walked to the edge and inhaled the fragrant sea salt lingering in the air. No one could reach us here, not even Lucius Malfoy who lacked the emotional capacity to comprehend the love his son and I shared for one another. I turned to face the cottage and smiled.

When I found Draco I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his scent. His back was muscular but soft. "Mine," I whispered softly between his muscles. He stopped unpacking and turned around to face me. He held my face in his warm, calloused hands and gently kissed me.

We embraced and fell backwards onto the bed. Before I knew it, his hands were covering my body and we were both gasping for air. I hate sex in the daylight, but I wanted my husband here and now. I wanted his warmth, his love, his fullness. So I kissed him with a ferocity I didn't know I had, pressed my lips harder into his, pulled his body over mine like a blanket and let him take me.

It was the first time we'd been intimate since our wedding night, and somehow, against these sheets, we transmuted every emotion we'd ever felt into a flawless dance. He was mine, and he was here.

I had waited my entire life for that one magical night, and it was everything I'd hoped it would be. That is, until my uninvited in-laws appeared. The moment I saw them I knew it was over. And the funny thing is, I had a feeling our day would be far from perfect. That would have been entirely too easy. And yet. After everything we'd been through, I still expected more for us.

"Hermione." Draco whispered in my ear and it brought me back to the present. "Let go." We locked eyes and I felt stars bursting around us, and his arms were around me and I was safe and I was warm but I was also crying. And though he said no words, I knew he felt it too. No amount of distance or sex would heal us. Only time would, and that was just not something I was willing to accept.

"I'm so sorry," I uttered through my sobs. "I'm so sorry, Draco."

He held me closer. "Please, don't be sorry. This had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them."

He was right, of course. But it made me think of those vials. Of his mother telling him to comply. She couldn't save him, and neither could I. I spent our entire relationship desperately attempting to mend the man in front of me. To heal wounds he should have never received. It astounded me how open to love he could be, even after everything he'd seen, which is why I could not shake the guilt that sat on my chest like an anvil.

He kissed my tears and moved his fingers slowly down my body. We spent the rest of the day trying our damndest to become one, to melt into one another the only way we knew how.

"You showed."

I took a deep breath in response to his shock. "Don't ask me why."

"Well, we both know why: you're completely intrigued. You won't stop until you get all of the puzzle pieces, right?"

I sighed and looked off to my left. It annoyed me how he thought he knew me. He didn't.

"So, explain yourself."

"What this time?"

"I don't know, Draco. We've met for tea four times, and still I don't understand. I just don't get it."

He chuckled. "We've met five times, and you keep asking the same questions. What do you still not understand?"

"There's a part of me that sees your perspective so clearly, though I hate to admit it. I recognize that you didn't want to become the person your parents wanted you to be, but that doesn't change the fact that you were a bully. You hurt so many people because you wanted to protect yourself." I saw his mouth open so I spoke faster. "Look, that may have been a necessity for you, too." I sighed. "I don't know what it's like to live a lie to protect yourself and your family from death, true, genuine, literal death. But I do know what it's like to wake up every day and be reminded that no matter how hard you try to prove yourself, you will always be seen as inferior. The things you've said to me… it will always stick with me."

"And, Hermione, I will never forgive myself for it. There will never be a day where I stop punishing myself for my misdoings. You may think that not going to Azkaban was the end goal, but it wasn't. The end goal is finding a way to make amends, to try and turn things around. Finally, for the first time in my life I have the freedom to do anything I want; I can be anything I want. There are parts of me that will never go away. I will always be hot-headed, stubborn, downright irritating, but I don't want to hurt people. I've never wanted to hurt people."

"But you did, Draco! You did!"

"And I'm trying to fix that!"

I took another deep breath and looked down at the cup in my hands. Every conversation that we've had has ended this way. Him trying to convince me that he wants to be better, me telling him that being better doesn't erase the past. Why was I even bothering? Why was I even wasting my time listening to the same goddamn speech?

"Look, I know that my words mean nothing to you. I know that you keep coming back looking for an answer, but I can't give you one. I desperately want to, but I can't. So if you're going to continue sitting in front of me having these conversations, I need you to be more receptive to my story. I need you to accept my apology and let my actions speak louder than my words. If you can't do that, let's stop wasting each other's time."

I looked him in the eye and grabbed my purse. Without saying another word, I moved my seat backwards and walked out of that cafe, never once looking back.

Weeks had gone by without a word from either of us. The more time that passed, the more I thought about him. They weren't conscious thoughts, but he would drift into my mind at the oddest times. It didn't help that the Daily Prophet was updating everyone in the wizarding world of his community service.

The thing that baffled me, truly shocked me, was that he was working off his community service hours. It was a full-time job for him.

But every time I silently congratulated him or felt my defense breaking down, I felt dirty. Guilty. Ashamed. How, after a lifetime of insults, could I look at this man and feel anything but hatred? Maybe I am too trusting or too compassionate. Maybe I forgive people too easily. But I couldn't help but consider all of the facts, and at the end of the day, maybe Draco was just a lost child who did what he could to get by.

I exhaled heavily and readjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder. The walk from home was always so refreshing, but this morning I couldn't decide on a book to read during my lunch break and in a fit of rage shoved three additional books into my work bag. To make matters worse, I didn't even have time to crack one open today.

As I neared the cafe, I noticed that familiar head of blonde hair and stopped dead in my tracks. For weeks, I had not spotted Draco. I had not seen him return to the place we last saw each other. I stood for an awkward amount of time weighing my options. And then I heard the click, clack of my shoes against the sidewalk and the next thing I knew I was sitting at his table. He looked up.

"Fancy seeing you here," he smirked

I know that I was the one who sat down, but suddenly I was at a loss for words. Everything I wanted to say felt out of place.

"Care for some tea?"

I nodded. Maybe he was picking up on my uncertainty. Maybe he was reading my mind. I watched as he grabbed the tea cup in front of me and slowly poured the golden liquid. He gently placed it in front of me, and since I had no idea what to say, I brought the tea up to my lips and slowly sipped.

He looked at me for a short pause and then turned back to the newspaper in his hands. I watched him as he read. He was sporting eyeglasses, and I thought to myself how I had never seen him wear them before. His hair had grown longer somehow and was tucked behind his ears. He looked so casual and carefree and this confused me more than I imagined.

"Did you come in here just to study me?" he asked without looking up. The sound of his voice startled me and I felt my face growing hot.

I shook my head no but remembered that he couldn't see me. "I don't know why I sat down. I don't know why I'm here."

He folded his newspaper and laid it on the table. "Perhaps you missed me."

I rolled my eyes and rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "Why is it so hard to like you? After knowing all of this information, your motives, your upbringing, living your memories… why is it still so hard to hold a conversation with you?"

"Probably because we've never held a conversation in our past. It feels wrong. You associate me with anger, with evil. It isn't easy to reverse that feeling."

I sighed. "The thing is, I don't even know why I care to do so. I don't know why I feel the need to understand or to-"

"Get closure?"

"Maybe. Maybe that's it. I feel like I'm fighting all of my instincts when I'm around you. It's hard to hold something against someone once I understand their perspective. Consider it a flaw."

"That's definitely not a flaw, Granger. It's why I approached you in the first place. You're fair and just. You examine all the facts and make an appropriate decision. You don't go through your life gliding on your emotions. That's not a bad thing."

I stared at him in silence. "So where do we go from here?"

It was Draco's turn to fall silent as he turned to look out of the window of the cafe. The sun was beginning to set, and the world was turning a lovely shade of amber. The gray stone of the buildings were yellow and pink and the world felt alive.

"Let's go for a walk."

"A walk? It's going to be pitch black outside in about twenty minutes."

"Sure, but it's not right now."

I sighed dramatically and stood up. "Come on, then." His signature smirk spread across his face. He reached into his pocket and laid some coins down on the table before following me out onto the street.

We walked a block in silence before I forced myself to speak. Draco seemed perfectly content in the silence, but I was overthinking everything. "How is the community service going?"

"There are some wonderful things that come out of it, and also some not-so-wonderful things."

"Like what?" I prodded.

"Well, I thought it would be fun to teach potions to children as part of a summer program, but it turns out that even though the children have no idea who I am or what I've done in the past, their parents do. I was told that after further consideration, I was not a good fit for their program and that perhaps I should look for work elsewhere."

"Oh, Draco. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, me too," he chuckled. "But, that's my life. I knew that not going to Azkaban meant facing the harsh realities of my consequences. I was prepared for this to happen though, you know. And the great thing is that not being able to work with children means I'm able to work with animals. Turns out, animals don't show bias with their affection."

"Silver lining, right?"

"Right. So what about you? What's the brightest witch in our age working on these days?"

I inhaled and let out a big breath. "Well, I'm currently doing an intense amount of research analyzing the term 'house elf'. Our ultimate goal is to find a way to give them the same sorts of opportunities and advancements, but there seems to be no politically correct way to address them. Their names are currently based on the types of work they've been involved with for Merlin knows how long, and it doesn't seem to align with the empowerment we are trying to build into the elf community. But eradicating a word from a social culture is proving to be more difficult than we could have ever imagined." I switched my bag to my other shoulder and rubbed the spot that the strap once laid.

"It's a lot of work, but I love every moment of it."

"I can tell. Do you need me to carry your bag?"

I shook my head no. "I've got it. Thank you, though."

"Shall we keep walking?"

"This is going to sound weird, and I swear on Merlin if you take this the wrong way I will retract my invitation, but would you be interested in stopping by my flat? I would absolutely love to get rid of this bag and step out of these heels."

He stopped walking. "You're inviting me into your home?"

"I told you not to take it the wrong way! I didn't mean anything by it."

"No, obviously I know that. I'm just surprised is all. Hermione Granger's home… difficult to picture."

"And why is that?" I asked shrilly. I was bordering on offended.

"I mean, can you picture my flat?"

"Yes, actually. Modern, dark, and filled with everything emerald and snakey."

"Wow," he chuckled. "You are way off, but I appreciate the candor."

"Do you wish to come over or not?"

He paused for a moment, checked his watch, and nodded. "Sure." Then he reached his hand out for my bag. "Hand it over."

I rolled my eyes, but passed him my bag. I would never admit it but I felt relief at not having to lug it another few blocks.

When we finally arrived, the doorman gave me a quizzical look. "It's okay, Harold. Have a good night!" He tipped his hat at me and continued looking onward. I checked my mailbox and led Draco up the 3 flights of stairs to my door.

"You climb these stairs every day?" He sounded winded.

"Well, sometimes I take the elevator."

"There's an elevator?" he said, clearly exasperated.

I opened the door to my apartment and welcomed him in. He slowly closed the door behind him and took his time soaking in my apartment.

"What's this?"

"That's a television. It's a muggle device. You know how photographs in the wizarding world move? Well, a television works similarly."

"Interesting. What do you do with it?"

I laughed. "You watch it. It's entertaining."

"So you watch a bunch of moving pictures? That seems like a boring thing to do, but I'll take your word for it."

I sat down on the couch and turned the television on. "What kind of books do you like to read?"

"Anything historical or useful. Mysteries, perhaps."

I found a channel that seemed fitting. There was a program about the Romanovs and I watched Draco's mouth drop open. "What is happening?" he asked me.

"Well, it's kind of like watching a book happen. You can find pretty much anything that interests you. It's nice to do sometimes."

His eyes were glued to the TV and we watched in silence. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the image of Draco Malfoy sitting on my pink couch and watching a television show with me, but I suppose I should stop being surprised by now. Draco was quickly becoming a friend, and I wasn't completely sure how it happened or if it was worth mentioning to people.