"I'm going to check on Fratello."

It was a sliver of comfort for Giovanni, much too far away to get there in any sensible time, amongst the panic in his heart. With each beat, Giovanni couldn't tell if his heart was pounding, or breaking. He'd already lost his family, but "lost" was a loose term. He'd lost the right to call them family, but he hadn't lost them for good. Like Feliciano, like Matteo, they were still there, if he could only work up the courage to reach out to them. If he was only brave enough to get past the fear that the hands which used to reach for him when they were little would slap his hand away, if he was rejected. But now, Giovanni was facing a fear he'd never had to face before.

That's he wouldn't have a brother to reach out to anymore.

Even when his Grandpa had died, he hadn't been afraid like this. There hadn't been a reason too. By the time he'd found out about the accident, the thing he would have to be afraid of was already passed. He didn't need to be afraid of losing his grandpa, because it was already too late. But now, Giovanni was afraid. No, he was terrified. He remembered things he'd forgotten, things he'd forgotten to treasure.

"This is your new Fratellino."

His grandpa had been holding a bundle, barely old enough to be separated from his mother, whole fist shoved into his mouth as well as he could. The eyes that looked up at him were brilliant green, and Lovino, six years old, lit up in excitement.

"His eyes are like mine! Nonno, his eyes are like mine!"

Giovanni, their grandpa, and Feliciano all had the same amber-like eye colour, leaving Lovino the odd one out with green eyes, and Lovino was excited to not be the odd one out anymore.

"Baby!"

Feliciano offered, pointing the chubby finger of a four-year-old at the child not much younger than himself, eyes sparkling.

"Si, your little brother," Their grandpa agreed, eyes twinkling. "Do you want to hold him, Vanni?"

Giovanni had been the first to hold Lovino, then Feliciano, but the wonder of a new brother was yet to be lost on him. He knew, of course, that this cute baby would soon be pooping and screaming and making a general harassment of himself, but in that moment, the little boy was stretching his arms out towards Giovanni, and all he could do was reach out his arms in response.

"I want to!" Lovino volunteered, jumping up and down, "I want to hold him!"

With the two-year distance between Lovino and Feliciano, Lovino had never gotten the chance to hold a baby, and his excitement was over spilling at the prospect.

"You're a little small for that right now, Lovi."

Their grandpa interjected gently refusing, and Lovino screwed up his face in his about-to-cry pout. Giovanni interrupted quickly, partly to stop the incoming tantrum that was sure to set off his newest little brother too, and partly because he wanted to see what Lovino would look like when he got to hold a baby for the first time - though Sebastien was actually closer to being a toddler at this age then a baby.

"If Lovi sits down, we could put the baby on his lap!"

Lovino nodded emphatically, and threw himself on the ground with reckless abandon, outstretched and waiting arms, and shining eyes. Their Grandpa made a sound that was half-chuckle, half sigh, but agreed.

"Alright. Sit very still, Lovi, he's very little and gets hurt easily. "

He lowered the child into Lovino's waiting arms, and Giovanni worried for a second that Lovino might explode from trying to supress his excitement by holding his breath. Their grandpa hovered nervously, and Feliciano displayed his own greeting by leaning close to the baby and making a sort of wordless yell, not overly loud, but startlingly unexpected. Giovanni flinched, waiting for the new baby to cry, but the child only took his fist out of his mouth and put a slobber-covered hand on Feliciano's nose, seemingly trying to remove it. Feliciano giggled, and Lovino remembered how to breathe again, looking up to his grandpa with almost tearful eyes.

"He's my baby Fratellino? Like Feli?"

Their grandpa laughed, retrieving the coveted child from the disappointed Lovino's arms.

"Si! He's all of your Fratellino, even Feli's."

"What's his name?"

The question Giovanni wanted to know more than anything so he could be the first one to call his newest brother's name. His grandpa made the new baby wave his slobbery fist like a greeting.

"This is Sebastien."

Giovanni reached up and patted the little baby on the cheek, marvelling at the soft touch.

"Hi Sebastien. I'm your grande fratello. I'll take care of you!"

The new baby, Sebastien, gurgled what might have been either a happy noise or just him trying to fit his fist back in his mouth, and Giovanni felt like he'd never smiled harder before. He already loved his new baby brother.

Giovanni couldn't remember the last time Sebastien had reached out to him. Was it really that long ago? Or so infrequent he couldnt think of a time since after their Grandpa's funeral? Sebastien had always been quieter, a type to solve it himself or give up before asking for help, but always willing to help. Now all those things that made Giovanni think that Sebastien was a "good kid that didn't cause any problems" stopped seeming like good traits, and just seemed sad. What eight year old should think it's better to be "good" than ask for help? What kind of older brother would make him feel that way? Why did he need to be a "good kid who doesn't cause problems"? Was there such a kid out there?

And now his little baby brother could be badly hurt, or worse, and all Giovanni had was regrets towards him.

"Dude, you okay?" Alfred peered into Giovanni's face with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Giovanni wished Alfred wouldn't mention ghosts when his little brother might be one. He considered brushing Alfred off, but speaking to anyone would be better than stewing in his thoughts and regrets.

"This video- this is where my brother lives, and he's not responding to my calls or texts."

The words came out more shaky then he'd realized, betraying just how shaken Giovanni felt. Alfred's forehead knit, eyes betraying sympathy.

"No way? My brother actually lives in that area, I can send him to check if you want!"

Alfred was already dialing his phone, and Giovanni tried to stop him.

"Ah, one of my fratellinos is close by, he's going to check now!"

Alfred remained peacefully oblivious to GiovannI's attempted rejection.

"Don't worry dude, he literally lives like, not even ten minutes away."

And ignoring Giovanni's sputtered response, he began speaking into the phone which had picked up.

"Yo, Chris! I sent you a vid clip, right? Well I was wondering if you can do me a favour! My friend says his bro lives there but isn't responding to calls and he's worried so-"

Alfred stopped suddenly.

"What? Seriously? Dude the house is trashed, why-? What do you mean? Like, hospital worthy?"

Hearing Alfred's one-sided conversation was amping Giovanni's nerves even worse than before,and Giovanni felt like his heart had stopped and restarted several times while Alfred spoke.

"What's going on?" He demanded, smacking Alfred's arm for attention, "Is he okay?"

"One sec," Alfred pulled the phone away from his ear, and gave Giovanni a strange look, "Is your brother's name Sebastien, by any chance?"

Giovanni felt his stomach flip, computing Alfred's words, then his question. The word that stuck with him most was the word "hospital" and then the immediate mention of his brother. Any blood he had left in his face immediately drained out. He gave a single stiff nod.

"Okay, thanks bro," Alfred went back to his phone call, nearly killing Giovanni with suspense, "OK. Bye."

Alfred looked at Giovanni's tense form.

"Ah, my little bro said he actually works with your brother Sebastien. Said he showed up for work this morning but seemed a little off. So he sent him home.Seemed fine tho."

Giovanni could have strangled him for his roundabout way of speaking and the heart-attack it had given him, but instead tried to focus on the good news. Sebastien was okay, he was fine. Class became easier with Alfred's confirmation, but he couldn't relax fully until he received confirmation from Matteo on how his second youngest brother was. Or he'd thought he'd be able to relax until the call came.

"Vanni, Something's wrong with Sebastien!"

A sentence that sent him into a spiral of panic, thousands of definitions of what that sentence could possibly mean, physically and mentally, whether it was something little, or life threatening, and then a heart stopping moment when he realized that if it was an emergency, there was no one who could help Sebastien.

Thoughts of calling an ambulance, or the police, or anyone to check on his brother flew out of his thoughts when Matteo clarified in his next sentence.

"Seb can't hear."

Matteo hurried to clarify it was on and off, and that he'd already checked, and how, but it was the next sentence that struck the hardest.

"And Vanni, I don't think this is something new either."

Something sinking and spinning inside Giovanni' s stomach was making him feel nauseated, and Giovanni couldn't rely on what Matteo said alone anymore. It was with difficulty that Matteo convince him to postpone his trip till the next day. He'd packed a bag, intending to stay as long as he needed, and drove. The drive was longer because he was alone. He contemplated calling Feliciano, if only to tell him what was going on, but denied himself that option. If he did call, what could he say? He'd only leave Feliciano in the same anxiety he currently felt until he could confirm his brother's well-being himself.

The drive seemed almost an eternity before he arrived. The moment he arrived seemed almost as bad. The house he'd lived in for most of his life was literally falling apart. It was better than the video had portrayed, the wood chopped up and piled to the side, debris and shingles collected and disposed of, but there was still a very large, very prominent gaping hole in the side of their house, and somewhere inside, his little brothers were both staying in this rickety and dangerous place. His concern only grew when Matteo met him on the doorstep, with a bitter and twisted face that instantly started Giovanni's heart hammering like crazy.

"Is he-?"

He couldn't force himself to finish the sentence. Matteo answered in a sour tone that didn't mask the anxiety he was trying to bury.

"He's not reacting at all. It's like he can't hear a thing."

Matteo wasn't quiet when he let Giovanni into what was left of their house, the door creaking on un-oiled hinges, Matteo not even trying to be silent or sneaky. And there, at the coffee table, sat his second youngest brother, older than he'd remembered him, writing something in a book without ever even acknowledging their presence.

"Seb! Vanni's here!"

Matteo full-out bellowed Sebastien's name, despite the fact his brother was only a few feet away, but the back facing them didn't so much as twitch in reaction. Giovanni didn't want to believe it, or accept it, even when it was right in front of his eyes. He tried to call out.

"Sebastien?"

Matteo clapped, suddenly and loudly. No reaction, to either of them. Giovanni felt like he was suffocating. He didn't know what was worse: confirming that his brother couldn't hear, or the unknown reason why his brother couldn't hear to start with.

"See?" Matteo intoned, voice thick, "He can't hear at all."

Giovanni thought his little brother looked very alone in that moment, like Lovino's back in the doorway all those years ago. It felt like Sebastien was in a different world, a place he couldn't reach. He moved on an emotion, to chase away the fear in his heart, grabbing Sebastien and pulling him against his chest in a tight hug, trying to prove to himself his brother was still there. And Sebastien finally reacted, turning wide and flustered eyes towards his oldest brother, genuinely confused as to why he was there.

As though Sebastien truly hadn't thought his brothers would come running to check on him after hearing what occurred, like he thought they wouldn't care. The question he'd been fighting off reoccurred in a terrifying heartbeat.

"Why didn't you tell me you couldn't hear?"

And for a split second on Sebastien's face, he saw fear. Not worry, or guilt, or even frustration, but fear, like Sebastien was terrified that Giovanni had found out. It was only a split second, then Sebastien's face smoothed into a genial mask, like he was asked about the weather, and Sebastien responded like nothing was wrong.

"What do you mean? I can hear fine?"

The answer was too quick, too smooth, for it to be true. There was no confusion about why Giovanni would think that, no questioning in the tone spoken like a statement, despite the questions. It was an answer that sounded well-rehearsed, and it hurt. Giovanni knew that Sebastien lied because he didn't trust him, and he didn't know how to fix that. Sebastien seemed to realize his lie hadn't worked, and his face changed to a somewhat sheepish expression, a laughing smile like he'd done something embarrassing as he responded.

"I'm sorry. It's on and off, so I thought I'd just wait it out. I didn't mention it because I didn't want to worry anyone."

But even this response sounded molded and faked. Just like Sebastien's trust for him, Giovanni's trust had also been broken, seeing his brother lie to his face like nothing was wrong. Matteo moved forward, and Giovanni saw frustration and desperation on his younger brother's face.

"You're sure this never happened before?"

And once again, Sebastien smiled like nothing was wrong, and answered too smoothly.

"Si, of course not!"

And Giovanni knew that Matteo also knew he was being lied to.

"Fratello, did you know?" Matteo's voice quavered like he was on the verge of tears as he asked his brother the question, "Whenever you lie, you smile."

A fact Giovanni hadn't known about his brother, one he'd never noticed because he never spent enough time with Sebastien. A sinking feeling was growing in his chest, a painful realization. This brother that Giovanni claimed to love was almost a stranger to him, a person he knew of, but didn't know. Matteo, perhaps the one Giovanni knew the least, was also the one who knew Sebastien the most. His youngest brother looked devastated. Giovanni felt what was scaring Matteo keenly.

Sebastien felt like he was somewhere he couldn't reach, like a reflection of his brother in a mirror, showing his brother's face, and reacting, but if Giovanni reached out to touch him, it felt like his fingers would only meet a clear barrier, keeping him at a distance. Sebastien tried to refute Matteo, then faltered, realizing his tells, and Matteo sounded very small and afraid as he responded, begging for a reason.

"See?" Such a small, scared tone. "Why are you hiding it from me?"

And Giovanni saw Sebastien's eyes flick his way, only a second, tense and afraid, and Matteo said the words that felt like they broke Giovanni's heart.

"You're not trying to hide it from me at all. It's Vanni that you're hiding it from."

And Giovanni choked on a whimper in his throat as he understood things that he hadn't before. Those times he'd brushed his brother off, thinking that his problems were only insignificant, and the damage it had done. He hadn't thought, hadn't realized at the time and now he was understanding too late. The problemsthat might have seemed insignificant to Giovanni were important to Sebastien, and Giovanni's rejection had taught his brother that Giovanni didn't care. Now, when his brother had a real problem and needed help, Sebastien thought that Giovanni would- what? Brush him off? Judge him? Did he think Giovanni would look down on him for having a problem? Giovanni didn't know what he should think or do, and making words form was hard.

He tried, pitifully to offer his brother to comfort his brother couldn't seek in him.

"It's okay, Seb, we'll figure this out."

Sebastien's face showed no comfort taken, and Giovanni once again felt that invisible barrier between them. There were so many more things that Giovanni wanted to ask, or say, but he couldn't make himself say them. He was scared, he realized, ofgetting rejected again, that Sebastien would brush him off. He wondered if this is how Sebastien had felt towards him, hesitantly bringing his problems to a brother who didn't care. Giovanni felt like he might be sick.

Matteo suddenly turned and stormed outside, and Giovanni was torn, which brother to comfort, who to go to. He didn't know how to comfort either, brothers he neither understood nor knew. He settled for tousling Sebastien's hair with an attempt at a smile that said everything would be okay, and promised they'd work things out again, he'd talk to Matteo and figure things out. Sebastien gave him an unreadable smile, like there was an inside joke hidden in Giovanni's words that he didn't understand.

It was easier to comfort Matteo, standing on the porch, hands clenched and fists shaking.

"I wish Lovi was here." He spoke in a low tone, carefully controlling his shaking voice. "Seb might listen to him. Not like... Not like.."

He didn't finish the sentence, but Giovanni knew what he wanted to say.

"Not like me."

Sebastien, who always looked up to Lovino, who raised Sebastien more than Giovanni had, might open up to him instead of clamming up. He might trust Lovino in a way he couldn't trust Giovanni, rely on him in a way he couldn't rely on Matteo. But Giovanni hadn't spoken to Lovino in almost seven years, afraid that if he reached out he'd be rejected. But... This wasn't just Giovanni's issue. They were a family, albeit a broken one, and Sebastien needed help that Giovanni didn't know how to give, and Giovanni knew how to contact Lovino...

For a second, Giovanni was possessed with a wave of madness -just dial and pass the phone to Matteo have him explain, surely Lovino couldn't reject the youngest- But what was he thinking? Matteo, shoulders bowed and choking on tears he was trying to hold back, was just a younger brother, the baby of the family, how could Giovanni push heavy responsibilities into his shoulders, to treat him like he'd treated Lovino? Giovanni had created this rift between him and Lovino, so, at the very least, he should be the one to try and bridge it. He pulled Matteo close to him by hooking an arm around his shoulders. Matteo stiffened, but didn't pull away, and Giovanni made the promise before he could chicken out of his resolution.

"Good idea, Fratellino. I'll call him."

Matteo froze, then wiggled, looking up at Giovanni in pure shock and awe, like he'd been given a present he desperately wanted but didn't think he could have, and Giovanni smiled encouragingly.

"Can you keep an eye on Seb for me while I call Lovi?"

A cowardly move, removing the youngest from what might be a shameful and pitiful scene, but Matteo only looked encouraged and almost anticipating, like the thought Giovanni night not succeed never existed in his mind. To Giovanni, Matteo looked like a fan looking at a superhero, and Giovanni felt like he should, for once, be that man his youngest brother saw. Matteo nodded, firmly, and Giovanni pulled out his phone, dialling the number before he could remember just how weak and cowardly he was.

The phone answered all too quickly.

"HolĂ , Antonio isn't available right now, this is Lovino speaking."

He'd been hoping, no, expecting, for their Uncle Antonio to answer the phone, like he always did, then Giovanni could tell his Uncle what he needed and their Uncle would break the news to Lovino and somehow everything would work out. He hadn't expected Lovino would be the one to answer. When he didn't speak right away, Lovino became agitated on the other end of the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?"

Giovanni tried to form words in his dry mouth.

"Lovi... It's Vanni."

The phone was completely silent for a good minute, and for a second Giovanni thought it was already over, and Lovino had hung up on him. Then, finally, a long, deep breath, released, and Lovino's carefully controlled tone.

"What do you need, Vanni."

"That -"

It stung Giovanni that Lovino thought he was calling only because he needed something, like his eldest brother wouldn't call otherwise. It hurt more because he was right.

"You haven't called in all these years, and you're suddenly calling now? I know it isn't just to make ammends, so what do you want? Did someone die or something?"

Lovino's voice was deeper than he remembered, but the words were the sharp and sarcastic tone that was unmistakably his brother. Giovanni felt disgusted with himself as he admitted what he needed, proving Lovino's words right.

"It's Sebastien."

He still felt like he was hyped up on the adrenaline from when he'd first seen the video, first texted and called to get no answer.

"What, did someone die or something?"

No, no one had, but Sebastien could have, and Lovino would have been none the wiser. All of them could have. If the news hadn't covered the tree falling on the house, if Alfred hadn't happened to include that clip in the one he sent Giovanni, if that tree had fallen a bit more to the side-

How long would it take for them to find out that five brothers had become four?

"There was an accident, a tree on the house, and I don't know exactly how, but Sebastien is having hearing issues and -"

He didn't even have to explain how he'd had no choice to call Lovino because Sebastien wouldn't talk to them and he didn't know what to do, because Lovino cut him off sharply, concern in his tone.

"Is he okay? I'm going there right now. "

Lovino, a better big brother than Giovanni ever was, didn't hesitate to return to the house he'd sworn never to go back to, all for the sake of his younger brother.

"Si," Giovanni's voice sounded weak, even to himself, "please come."

The wait for Lovino to arrive was hard. He didn't know how to talk to Sebastien, how to get past that invisible barrier between them that even Matteo couldn't cross. There were so many things he wanted to ask, but couldn't bring himself to, telling himself that he was only waiting for Lovino. But even that didn't bring any comfort. The older brother, the one who played the parent for so many years, was waiting for his little brother, the one he used to have to walk to the bathroom at night because he was scared, because Giovanni was too timid to even try by himself. He welcomed the sudden call from Feliciano, a distraction from the situation.

He didn't think about why his brother was randomly calling, but even if he had, he wouldn't have predicted the situation.

"Hey, Vanni!"

Feliciano's voice sounded a bit tense as he answered, and he plunged right into the issue without giving Giovanni a chance to respond.

"I forgot to tell you, so I'm calling you now. I'm actually in a cab on the way to our old home right now!"

Giovanni froze. Feliciano was coming too? Why? He didn't know if he should be glad to have another brother who might connect to Sebastien, or if he should be scared of what might happen in all of them were gathered together again. Feliciano's next words tipped the scale towards "scared".

"Actually, I got a call from one of Seb's friends." Feliciano quickly explained that Sebastien's friend knew someone who knew the person he was boarding with, and they put him on the phone. "Vanni, I know you might think I'm being over sensitive, but I think something's wrong."

Giovanni's heart dropped to his stomach. The implications were clear. A friend, someone Giovanni didn't know, had seen something was wrong with Sebastien to concern him enough to the point he reached out through a grapevine of acquaintances to reach a brother that friend didn't even know, to tell him something was wrong. A call, not a text. Something so urgent that it couldn't wait for a response. Feliciano said something else, in a tone that betrayed real fear.

"Vanni, he thinks... He said... It... I think he thinks Seb is going to hurt himself?"

Feliciano's tiny scared voice was almost as terrifying as the words he said. And suddenly, it occurred to Giovanni that the wall he felt between them and Sebastien, the devastation in how Matteo reacted, how indifferent his brother was to the whole situation, might not be just because of his second youngest brother's hearing loss. So Giovanni spilt the whole story, hoping to partially calm Feliciano, mislead him to think the issue was only physical, to protect his younger brother from scary thoughts. Feliciano seemed to buy it, still scared, but less so, and the call ended, but Giovanni's heart didn't calm down.

"Vanni, Something's wrong with Sebastien!"

"I think something's wrong."

Little brothers who picked up on something dangerous that Giovanni was completely oblivious to. Lovino who immediately promised to come back to a place he probably hated. An unknown friend who was so worried he reached out to the family. And in the middle of it all, Sebastien, hiding indisernable feelings behind a mask that smiled as if nothing was wrong.

Giovanni was scared again, more so than before. He was scared that Sebastien's friend was right, and his brother might hurt himself. He was scared he might lose his brother, and that it was him who caused it. And most of all, he was scared because he didn't know how to fix it.

Feliciano arrived only a few minutes before Lovino, and Giovanni's heart clenched at how the two froze seeing each other. Lovino didn't even acknowledge him, but Giovanni almost prefered that. Feliciano called his brother's voice in a tone that Giovanni couldn't describe.

"Lovi?"

Then, before Lovino could react, Feliciano had caught his brother in a tight hug, which prompted a loud curse and gruff demands to "let go" both of which Feliciano ignored. But Lovino's voice didn't hold any real aggression, and despite the way he demanded Feliciano get off him, he made no move to push him away. Actually, Giovanni thought that Lovino's face was softer than Giovanni ever remembered before. Lovino was also taller, a deeper voice, clearly an adult now and not a kid. Feliciano, despite his childish reaction, was also the same.

Somehow it was different than seeing Matteo and Sebastien, who he knew from babies, but still considered children. These adults that were standing in front of him now were people he'd never met, and the distance between them, exactly how long it had been since Giovanni last saw them, all of these things suddenly felt painfully clear. Lovino turned his way, sharp eyes meeting his face, and Giovanni fought the need to look away.

"He's inside," Giovanni answered the unasked question, "Matteo took him to get checked out but doctors didn't find anything."

Lovino was searching his face, and Giovanni wondered what his brother saw there. But regardless of what he might have seen, Lovino didn't say anything except to inquire about Sebastien's condition tiredly, while Feliciano also turned, looking to Giovanni for answers. And, feeling more helpless than ever before, Giovanni told them everything he knew. When he finished, Lovino cursed. Feliciano jumped, but didn't berate Lovino like Giovanni half-expected. Lovino threw his shoulders back and moved towards the door, like a man marching off to war. But then he stopped, just before the door, and tried to ask a hesitant question.

"Vanni-"

But at the last minute Lovino stopped saying what he was about to say, and just shook his head and walked in. Giovanni thought he knew what it was that Lovino wanted to ask anyways. But Giovanni wasn't ready to bare all the insecurities in his heart, explaining why he'd never visited or asked to speak to Lovino, and this wasn't the time or place for it. So Giovanni started for the door too, but Feliciano stopped him with a gentle hand in his arm.

"Vanni, are you okay?"

It was such a sudden, unexpected question that Giovanni didn't know how to respond, blinking like a deer in headlights. Sebastien was the one who wasn't okay, or if anyone else, wouldn't it be Lovino, or Matteo, or any of the brothers he'd neglected? But Feliciano had asked ifhewas okay, and Giovanni didn't have an answer he could give.

"I-"

He tried to speak, but the words didn't want to come out, cracking in his throat. If he was to answer honestly, the answer would be "Of course not". How could he be, after everything he'd put his own brothers through? Did he even have the right to say he wasn't okay? Surprisingly, Feliciano seemed to understand that he couldn't, or wouldn't, answer that question, and didn't push it.

"Hey, it'll be okay, Vanni. After all, we're together now, right? Let's go In."

And Feliciano was right, they were together again. It wouldn't undo his mistakes of the past, or even fix them, but it was a start. And most importantly, Sebastien needed him then, more than ever. Once again, Giovanni was putting himself first instead of his brothers.

"Si," He agreed finally. "Let's go in."

Feliciano gave him a speculative look, and a strange sort of almost-smile that didn't match the situation, then walked in the house, his shoulders straight and confident. Giovanni was struck in the difference in his younger brother, the tall and strong back a strong contrast between the curled shoulders and blank eyes of the last time he'd seen his brother in person. Feliciano had only been twelve at the time, and Giovanni wondered why it had taken six years and Sebastien losing his hearing to get them all back together.

Why hadn't he visited Feliciano, at least once, or had Feliciano come back to visit? Six years was enough time for a boy to change into a man, and for a brother to change into a stranger. He wondered how Feliciano was still able to treat him like family despite that. Somehow Feliciano's maturity was just as much a wake-up call as everything else that had happened, and Giovanni keenly felt just how long his separation from his family really was.

Talking to Sebastien made it even clearer.

"Since I was seven."

Sebastien admitted the timeframe reluctantly, looking abashed, and Giovanni reeled. Ten years. He'd thought it was caused by an accident when the tree came down, Sebastien had admitted he'd been knocked unconscious temporarily. Now Giovanni understood why the doctor hadn't found anything wrong with Sebastien when Matteo forced him to go. He understood why his second youngest brother had lied so easily, so smoothly, and why he'd seemed more upset about them finding out than the actual hearing loss. His little brother wasn't scared because he'd been dealing with this issue for ten years already.

What was worse was hearing how his other brothers reacted. Lovino and Feliciano were both shocked, and perhaps Giovanni could have gleaned the tiniest bit of relief from his guilt that he wasn't the only one who didn't notice, and perhaps Sebastien had just hidden it well, if not for Matteo's tiny gasp.

"I knew it!"

And he looked like he did, like he was confirming something awful, and Giovanni remembered what he'd said over the phone.

"Vanni, I don't think this is something new. "

Lovino turned on Matteo, demanding why he hadn't been told, and Feliciano's shoulders only quivered, and Matteo snapped back, and Giovanni felt each accusation like a blow to the chest.

Who was I supposed to tell?"

It should have been obvious, Giovanni should have been the first to know, he was their guardian, their protector. And yet-

"You were always fighting, or gone away, and I never evensawVanni!"

Everything Matteo said was true. By the way Matteo spoke, Giovanni was able to approximate when Matteo had figured it out. Fighting and gone away. Matteo would have been around eight at that time, when the fighting was at it height, then Lovino left, and Giovanni had sent Feliciano away. And Giovanni- he'd locked himself away in his room, pitying himself and stewing in self-righteousness. Of course an eight year old wouldn't know what to do, or who to turn to. In fact, if he'd seen his older brother acting like it wasn't a big deal, maybe Matteo would have believed it, at that age.

Giovanni should have been there to talk to him, to teach him it wasn't normal and he would have been able to fix the issue, a long time ago. But he wasn't, and Matteo's words broke his heart.

"Besides, the only one who even cared about me was Seb!" A retort- "that's not true!"- from Lovino, then, "Oh really! Didyou even remember I exist? Did you remember he exists? If you cared about either of us, you would have noticed sooner!"

How had he made his littlest brother feel like that? How had he put his littlest brother in a situation where he had to deal with it? Matteo was right. From the start, it should have been Giovanni who found out. It was his job, his duty, not just as their sibling and guardian, but as the oldest among them. Giovanni should have noticed.

"I'm sorry."

He said the words in a low tone, trying to keep his breath from shaking. All eyes went to him, but Giovanni couldn't meet them.

"I cared about you." Giovanni offered his weak defense, "I thought I did. I should have been there for you, I should have noticed first, and done something different! I shouldnt have made you -any of you- feel that way. I'm sorry."

"So?" Lovino, always abrasive, shot back, "What's that supposed to change?"

Giovanni didn't have an answer to that question. Matteo lashed out angrily at Lovino too.

"You didn't help either! Maybe if you spent less time fighting with Giovanni, you could have noticed, or helped! Maybe if youdidn't throw tantrums like a toddler and storm off all the time, Sebastien wouldn't have to always fix up your mess and he could have had time to pay attention to himself! "

Lovino was also temperamental though.

"I never made him do anything like that!"

"Maybe you didn't tell him too," Matteo retorted, "But who do you think cleaned up the kitchen and finished cooking when you stormed off? Who do you think took care of me when you guys fought? It wasn't Vanni, that I never saw, and it sure wasn't Feli! He was so upset all he ever did was cry! But you didn't care about that either! You only ever cared about yourself, always arguing about stupid things! "

Giovanni could only watch as his family finally revealed the cracks he'd been pretending didn't exist all this time. Unlike the house, which came down suddenly and unexpectedly, their family had been breaking for a long time before, built on crumbling foundations and unsteady relationships. Lovino and Matteo's fight might have continued for a lot longer too, if Feliciano hadn't spoken, fear in his tone.

"Seb?"

And Giovanni remembered Sebastien, and sought him with his eyes. Sebastien was sitting so quietly, Giovanni had forgotten about him, and he wasn't the only one. The others whipped around too, but all Giovanni could see was Sebastien. He looked so calm, it would almost be peaceful if his second youngest brother didn't look so detached from the situation. Once again, Giovanni was struck with the feeling of an inability to reach Sebastien, safe and protected in an invisible bubble no one could reach through.

Feliciano asked the question Giovanni already knew the answer to,touching Sebastien's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

And Sebastien finally reacted, and smiled, the same carefree beam as he'd given Giovanni when he first confronted Sebastien. In that moment, Giovanni suddenly knew. His second youngest brother couldn't hear them at all. And yet, Sebastien answered in a cheerfully innocent voice that almost distracted from the malice in the words.

"Si! It's nothing different than normal, after all!"

And it hurt. How many times had Sebastien done this before as a child, disassociating from the situation and melting into the background? How many times had he sat silent in the middle of fighting? Giovanni thought that he might not be the only one who felt the barrier between Sebastien and the others. Himself, trying to talk to someone who couldn't hear him, and Sebastien alone, unable to hear what was said. It wasn't that Sebastien didn't participate in arguments, or want to fight or speak up. It was that he couldn't.

His little brother was stuck in a silent world he couldn't escape, and perhaps that was why Sebastien drew the line between the family. Brothers that didn't listen to him, and himself who couldn't communicate.

Matteo interrupted Lovino's scolding.

"It's no use," He said bluntly, and Lovino spun to look at him, "He can't hear you. When his voice changes and gets deeper like that, it means he can't hear."

Another little thing that Matteo had picked up on, and not Giovanni. Another thing he should have known. Another way he'd failed as an older brother.

The conversation continued around him, a strange back and forth.

"You can't hear me right now?"

"Somehow it happened again."

"Ah, Matteo was right! His voice is deeper when he can't hear!"

And somehow Sebastien was smoothing over the issue, redirecting their focus, and Giovanni could only watch as his brothers fell into Sebastien's scripted play, one by one. Lovino, ever the older brother, ruffled Sebastien s hair.

That should have been Giovanni, comforting his brother. No, that wasn't right. They shouldn't be laughing or smiling like that at all! Didn't they realize that something was severely wrong?

Feliciano pulled Sebastien into a tight hug, and Sebastien looked flustered, and it was like a touching scene from a movie. A movie Giovanni wasn't part of.

This wasn't right. His brother was breaking apart, and somehow no one was realizing it. But to Giovanni, it felt like scales had fallen from his eyes, and he could see clearly for the first time in a long time. Sebastien spoke and moved in a careful way, like he was subconsciously following a script. Lovino praised him, and he made a touched face. Feliciano hugged him, and he responded, but the emotion behind it seemed forced, even as Sebastien sank into Feliciano arms. Like he thought this was how he should respond to a comforting hug.

It wasn't right.

Because Giovanni knew that Sebastien should be crying, but his little brother's eyes were dry and shuttered, not relaying the emotion Sebastien was putting into his actions, and Giovanni was scared, really, truly, scared, to see what his brother was hiding behind his eyes. Something Sebastien's friend had seen, something Matteo had sensed that sent them rushing for help. And Matteo alone looked like he wasn't buying Sebastien's act fully, crossing his arms with a fierce look. Then Matteo looked towards Giovanni, as if checking if he saw it too, and Sebastien said something devastating as casually as if saying the date.

"I can't read your lips so I don't know what you're saying!"

Giovanni felt like he was breaking apart.