My second one-shot. MIGHT turn into a two-shot and probably will. Before we start:
I do borrow one or two bits of worldbuilding from my generalized AU of The Curious Cases of Family Bonds or Lack Thereof series, but to really understand the one-shot you need to know only the following things:
1. Inhuman Supremacy Party is like Creature Rejection Clan, but in reverse. They like non-humans.
2. Mr. Compress is a chadlad kind-of-vigilante kind-of-villain and a leader of Robin-Hood styled thieves (Levelers), and has no time to play games with Tomura.
3. Midoriya Inko is a former leveler and an S-Rank thief under the nickname of Mischief.
4. Quirkless Liberation Front is a thing, you can figure what it is from the name itself.
Enjoy.
(***)
One day, all 1-A students received mysterious letters. Letters mentioning their secrets, letters telling them to show up at a certain location at a certain time or their secrets will stop being secrets.
So, naturally, they all did show up. Only to be extremely startled when they discovered that they weren't the only people that received an 'invitation'. And that all their classmates were there, waiting for them in front of a conference room.
All of their classmates, except for one. Izuku Midoriya was nowhere to be seen. And that was, to quote Kaminari, 'extremely sus'.
It wasn't on UA grounds, but a few streets away from it. The building housed several conference rooms, ones that could be rented if you wanted to make a meeting of some kind. The staff didn't know what it was all about and shepherded them into the room as per instructions, and then left them inside.
It looked like a cinema. A lot of seats, the floor ascending the further you went from the stage. There was a large projector next to a table provided with a pair of chairs.
They didn't get to wait for long before Izuku Midoriya entered the stage, followed by Mei Hatsume. The latter with a laptop in her hands, the former with a wireless microphone in his hands.
"Midobro, what the h…"
"DEKU! WHAT ARE YOU…"
"Midoriya! What is this extracurricular meeting and why did you…"
"Welcome," Midoriya says into a microphone, cutting down the chatter. "To the first of the weekly meetings of the UA Villains club." The words die down as he sits on one of the chairs. The other one (the one behind the table) is taken by Mei, who promptly sets her laptop on it and starts clicking on it fast.
"Midoriya!" Iida stands up, taking point for his classmates. "I find you referring to outstanding hero students as 'villains' and organizing a 'Villain Club' highly inappropriate! I'm also almost certain that this initiative didn't receive agreement from the teachers and…"
"Iida." Midoriya cuts in. He looks more tired than anything else. "Stop interrupting me and sit down OR your brother will find out who wrote 'Of Rabbits, Blood and Jet Thrusters'."
Iida stops talking and sits down immediately. Naturally, there is confusion in the audience.
"Wait, what is that even?" Jirou decides to ask. Kaminari suddenly lets out a choking sound. When eyes go towards him (except for Iida's, as he is too busy shrinking in his seat), he manages to speak.
"You don't know about 'Of Rabbits, Blood and Jet Thrusters?!" He looks exasperated by that. "That story is a legend among the cursed hero fanfics boards! It's not even published anywhere in fear of HPSC' taking it down together with the author, merely transferred by hand and direct messages among the true connoiss… Wait…" The dunce seems to have connected the dots. His eyes, now wide open, are on Iida. "...YOU WROTE THAT?!"
Somehow, no one is surprised that Kaminari is an authority on this type of fics.
"Uhm, what's the main pairing?" Mina decides to ask. She correctly deduced that the issue was in the pairing.
"Miruko, Ingenium and… uhm…" Kaminari suddenly looks very uncomfortable. Did he realize that by saying this he admits to having read the story? "... Stain."
Suddenly all eyes transfer to Iida, who somehow shrinks even more.
"Mad banquet of darkness," Tokoyami announces. It's a very good summary of the situation. The rest appear shocked speechless, too much to comment on what they just found out.
"I know all your secrets." Midoriya decides to take advantage of that. "So I'm going to share one of my own with you. I'm a son of All for One." Silence and surprised stares. "... the Kamino Villain."
Suddenly, there is a riot.
"WHAT THE HELL, DEKU?!" Bakugou yells. It's the only expression of shock that somehow cuts through the rioting. "THAT WAS UNCLE HISASHI?! WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"I have infiltrated the UA." Midoriya continues, using his microphone to be audible. "After successfully scamming All Might out of his quirk… because yes, his quirk is transferable… and now I'm doing my best to become a hero. However, there is a small problem that I'm going to address right now. It's…"
"What's your actual goal?" Momo says loudly, standing up from the crowd. Whatever dirt he has on her, she is ready to risk it being publicized. Somehow she recovered the fastest from the 'All Might's quirk is transferable' revelation. "Surely it can't be becoming a hero."
"My goals are beyond your understanding, Yaomomo." Midoriya replies. Their eyes are locked onto each other, the intensity of their stares making it surprising that nothing between them caught fire.
"Try me." She refuses to back down. Midoriya nods, acknowledging the bravery of the fool in front of him.
"It's to obtain All Might's quirk and become the Number One Hero with it…" Midoriya replies. "... thus obtaining the mantle of the Symbol of Peace, which I consider to be the ultimate piece of All Might's collectibles."
Silence in the room. Momo is staring at Midoriya. Eventually, she manages to speak.
"You were right. I do not understand." Then she sits down. Midoriya once again nods. The class is too busy being confused to even try to comment on what just transpired in front of him.
"Alright, so now that we have that covered…" Midoriya says. "... I'm going to address the main issue. Continuing my hero career AND maintaining all the logical ruses I need to keep the teachers fooled is getting harder and harder nowadays. Why you ask?" He sighs. "It's because I have to attend a class with nineteen villains pretending to be heroes. Each one of which SUCKS at acting."
Chaos. Bakugou is yelling something. Midoriya does his best to silence the class, but this is when Mei speaks.
"Wait, you're all villains?" She sounds surprised by it. This manages to suppress the noise, somehow. Midoriya looks at her, suddenly looking way more tired.
"Yes, and so are you." He says. Mei looks at him, confused.
"What?! I'm not a villain!" She replies loudly. She looks shocked by the accusation. Midoriya, in the meantime, sighs.
"What were you doing yesterday around… 5 pm?" He asks. Mei goes deep into her thoughts for a moment. Then she suddenly makes a 'eureka!' face.
"I was using Power Loader's security credentials to set up a bicoin mine on the UA main computer!" She announces. "But it's legit because he knows about it and said that it's alright for as long as I give him a cut off the income."
"That's…" Midoriya blinks at her a few times in visible surprise, while someone in the audience lets out a choking sound. "... good to know. But what else were you doing back then?"
"I was downloading schematics and interesting files from the UA network!" She announces with a bright smile.
"... and what did you do with those?" Midoriya continues the interrogation.
"I sold them in exchange for an interesting technical blueprint to my internet acquaintance." Mei replies. She sees nothing wrong with that.
"... and who is that acquaintance?" Midoriya asks, looking relieved that they were back on track.
"Mechanist." She replies. There are some audible gasps in the audience.
"Mei, Mechanist is an SS-Rank Villain in charge of the Clockwork Tower, the biggest internet criminal syndicate in Japan." Midoriya announces. Mei looks shocked for about ten seconds.
"Well, guess I'm a villain then." She says once she managed to process the revelation. With a bright smile on her face. "Please, continue." He gives her a thumbs-up gesture before turning his head towards the audience.
"Your abhorrent acting skills are thus threatening my grand master plan." Midoriya announces. "So we're going to have to make some corrections. Today we are only setting the whole thing up, so I'm going to quickly narrate what sort of villains you are." Some people seem to be slightly shrinking. "Before we start, there is one rule. It doesn't matter what you discover about your classmates. UA is off-limits for villainy. Wait with killing each other until you graduate. Got it?"
"Uhm, hypothetically speaking…" Kaminari asks, after raising his hand. "... what would happen if we would break the rule?"
"My dad…" Midoriya says. "... is All for One."
That somehow works as a threat.
"Good, we're going to start with the… unaligned ones. Case one, Minoru Mineta." The grape boy looks like he is trying to shrink enough to vanish from his seat.
"Oh yeah, the class pervert." Kaminari lets out a nervous laugh. "I'm sure it's something pervy, right?"
"Did anyone bother to check his room? During the room showcasing competition or after?" Midoriya instead asks. Mineta is growing paler and paler. Everyone in the room shakes their head, girls in an almost aggressive way. "Well, I did it secretly. This is what I found. "Midoriya then snaps his fingers. Mei opens one of the slides.
It's a picture taken inside Mineta's room. A big part of the decor is pictures of his female classmates and various notable female pro-heroes - someone pulled them out from wherever Mineta was hiding them and displayed them in front of the camera.
One of them (it's Uwabami) is attached to the head of a mannequin. The mannequin in question has been stabbed and received major blunt force trauma multiple times.
"Following a rather aggressive campaign of humiliation and bullying from a group of girls in his old school…" Midoriya continues as all eyes in the room are suddenly on Mineta. "... Minoru Mineta developed a rather incredible misogynist streak. He is only pretending to be a pervert to fool girls into looking down on him as a harmless weirdo. After all, if he gets caught skulking around somewhere near the girls, their first thought will be that of trying to peek on them, not of being busy conjuring a plan to murder them."
"What the fuck, man?!" Kaminari, who was sitting right next to Mineta, freaked out the most.
"WOMEN ARE MONSTERS!" Mineta yells in horror, hiding his face behind his hands. "I NEED TO STRIKE FIRST! I NEED TO STRIKE FIRST!"
"Mineta, no judgments here, we're all horrible people." Midoriya sighs. "Just, as stated, no murders before graduation. And cut down on your scouting, or you're gonna get expelled for being a pervert. Case two, Kouji Koda…" The boy with a pet bunny shrinks.
"Wait, we're going to just ignore the…" Jirou is trying to cut in but isn't allowed to.
"Look, Koda." Midoriya scratches his head. "I get that you want to become an eco-terrorist and help animals strike back against their human oppressors to paint their houses in their blood… yes, I read those anonymous blog posts. But if you keep trying to 'accidentally' run into Nedzu in order to use your quirk to mind-control him, he is going to realize something's amiss. Worst of all, it most likely won't work due to him being sapient and thus capable of refusing your orders. Stick to trying to persuade Vlad King's dog to commit hate crimes with you, got it?"
Koda looks vaguely relieved and gives him a thumbs-up gesture. Midoriya nods. The shock in the audience deepens.
"Case three. Aoyama Yuuga." The French boy is the third one to shrink as everyone's attention goes to him. "Look, I'm not one judge, but… DGSE? Really?" Aoyama looks like he forgot how to breathe.
"Uhm…" Ashido raises her hand.
"Direction générale de la sécurité extérieure." Midoriya replies. With a perfect french accent. "French CIA, basically. What do they even want to discover at the UA?" He asks, eyeing Aoyama questioningly.
"Uhm…" Aoyama decides to speak. "Ils... Ils pensent que Nedzu is financing a quirk extrémiste terroriste organization in France et..." Midoriya sighs painfully.
"You know what, let's not dig into that." Izuku sighs before pinching the bridge of his nose. "I think I do not want to know. Don't report to them that we're all villains and we won't report you to the Public Security Intelligence Agency. Alright, case four."
He snaps his fingers. Mei opens another slide. It's a picture of Kaminari Denki trying to walk in a cool way through the corridors of the UA while winking at some girls passing by. His right-hand forms an L sign centred on his forehead.
"... if I see you make the Meta-Liberation Army salute out in the open again, I'm calling Re-Destro." Midoriya announces. Kaminari goes practically white. Satou looked like he was about to say something, but decided not to.
"Meta-Liberation Army?" Jirou says, looking around in shock. "Like, what? Destro guys? Isn't that old news?"
"Not exactly, especially as Rikido Satou, Mezo Shoji and Hanta Sero are its members as well." Midoriya announces. The three called-out students look horrified and shocked. Looks like none of them knew that the others were their comrades. Talk about deep conspiracy. "I can understand Kaminari and Satou, their quirks are powerful but have drawbacks and MLA is very accepting of those. I can also understand Shoji, as they really do not care about appearances. But Sero?"
Hanta looks vaguely apologetic as he answers.
"Uhm, my joints are quite fragile because of my quirks, and… the MLA has quite a healthcare program and…"
Midoriya groans loudly.
"Look, if you want to recruit more people for the cause, be my guest. But also be aware that none of you is particularly smart, so at least consider running your ideas through me first." He inhales deeply. "... also when I find out which one of you brainiacs had a brilliant idea of leaving the Meta Liberation War book on Eraserhead's desk, I'm going to arrange for the person in question to have an interview with Curious. Got it? I don't care if the things he said during the quirk apprehension test made him sound like an MLA member, it was a logical goddamn ruse. Get a grip."
"Uhm… okay?" Kaminari looks like the only out of them who can still speak after the threat was voiced. He probably didn't know that 'interview with Curious' was considered to be a euphemism for torture among the MLA members.
"Great. Next case. Uraraka Ochaco." Midoriya announces. The girl in question looks horrified. Especially when Midoriya snaps his fingers again.
They are all treated to the recording (from a hidden camera) of Uraraka Ochaco taking advantage of the commotion in the cafeteria to steal Lunch Rush' wallet and empty it of money. Before putting it back where it was.
"I have no idea how you managed to NOT get ousted thus far." Midoriya admits. "But this isn't going to last for long. I get it that you're super influenced by the Levelers and, especially, Mr. Compress's heists ever since he took down Uraraka Constructions' competition by stealing the money that they got from illegal deals, but… please, stop that."
"U… Uhm, I'm sorry." Uraraka looks terrified now. "I'll never do it again, just…"
"What?" Midoriya blinks at her a few times, looking surprised enough to make her stop talking. "No, keep stealing if you want. I don't care. Just don't do it on the UA, steal from people at the internships. There are fewer cameras there. Also, work on your technique, you have a lot to learn. Speaking about that: if you want I can organize a meeting with Mr. Compress. He'll be overjoyed to help an aspiring thief that's ready to target heroes, though you should probably work on the criteria upon which you decide whom to rob as…"
"YOU KNOW HIM?!" Uraraka shouts, her eyes wide open. When he nods, she loses it. "OhmygodIcan'tbelieve…"
"... he is kind of my uncle." Midoriya announces, and this chokes the words out of her. "Mother's side. Adopted, kind of. They are like… heterosexual life buddies or something?"
Silence in the room. Eventually, Uraraka speaks again. Her eyes were on fire.
"... please marry me." She says, and this is enough to make Midoriya's jaw drop. Because… wow. He might have been a confident criminal mastermind, but this still came out of the blue. Eventually, after at least ten seconds of staring at her in shock, he manages to speak back.
"O... Okay?" Uraraka seems overjoyed by the answer. "You're going to love meeting my family. Alright, so now that I was somehow proposed to in the middle of this talk…" Uraraka grins at him. "... I'm just going to continue as if nothing has happened to give me the time needed to emotionally process it. Next case: Mashirao Ojiro."
"Uhm…" The tail boy is uncomfortable with being in the centre of attention.
"Man, can you get any more boring?" Midoriya decides to be blunt. "A simple gang? Really? The one carving out turf in the local area, and selling drugs and running out illegal businesses in the dark alleyways?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just…" Ojiro is deflating.
"Look, how about a change of aesthetics?" Midoriya asks and suddenly Ojiro looks hopeful. "I know a lot of things and people. I can get you into… uhm… how does a biker gang sound? I'll even pay for you to get a motorcycle license. And it's way less boring."
"Oh, that sounds pretty nice." Ojiro scratches his head. "Bikes are cool, and girls people boys with motorcycles. I'm in." Midoriya gives him a thumbs-up gesture before continuing.
"Time for a small change of pace. We go for someone… Uhm… bigger." He announces. Some people in the audience shiver. "Todoroki."
"Yes?" Shoto asks back, as emotionless as ever.
"How do you fare nowadays?" Midoriya asks. Shoto looks confused. "You've joined UA to get proper training so that you could become a high ranked hero and, one day, change your allegiances in front of the cameras. Just to make your father see all his efforts wasted in a heartbeat, as his 'perfect hero' turns out to be a villain. But I heard he isn't that much of a dick now, and no longer abuses his family."
"Wait, Endeavor abused his family?!" It's Yaoyorozu. Yeah, they are from similar social circles, so the shock is understandable.
"I wasn't sure what to do with myself, as the original plan is no longer something that I'm comfortable with," Todoroki admits, completely ignoring Yaoyorozu. "I even considered becoming a hero for real. But then I remembered the advice that you gave me a few months ago."
"Uhm, advice?" Uraraka asks. She isn't the only one curious.
"He told me that hating Endeavor is pointless." Todoroki replies. "Because it would mean focusing my whole life on him, just with a different spin on it. And that I'd essentially ruin my own life for him, only to eventually discover that now that I've ruined his life, I have nothing more to do. He said that I shouldn't hate my father, nor I should seek revenge because an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
"That's…" Yaoyorozu looks conflicted. "... surprisingly wholesome."
"He then told me to hate the Hero Commission instead," Todoroki adds before giving Midoriya a thumbs-up gesture. Izuku does the same. "It works well enough. So I'm doing alright nowadays, thank you for asking."
"Awesome." Midoriya smiles. "Seeing how much progress you made from our first meeting makes me incredibly happy! Also if you need someone to calculate the best angle to fire Prominence Burn at the HPSC headquarters to cause as much damage as possible, give me a call. I'm always ready to help my classmate!"
Todoroki smiles. Somehow, it looks terrifying. Even more when you know the context.
"Alright, next case." Midoriya announces. "Kyoka Jirou." The punk girl doesn't seem to automatically shrink under the gazes. Like Todoroki, she seems surprisingly fearless. "You have a super cool quirk, yes. It makes overhearing things easy. Supplying intel you obtained from overhead faculty meetings here on UA to the villains is a perfectly good idea, yes. Especially in exchange for money. No problems from me. Though… if you want to, I can act as an intermediary for your intel trade. I know most supervillains in the country, you know."
"R… really?!" Jirou's eyes widened. "That's awesome! I kept being underpaid because the people I worked with were assholes. If you can do that, I'll be super grateful!"
"Brilliant." Midoriya smiles. "I'll phone Giran first thing in the morning."
"Giran?!" Jirou's eyes somehow managed to get even wider. "Are you serious?! That guy's a legend! Holy shit, now I want to marry you too."
"Run that idea through Uraraka first." Midoriya deadpans. He is slightly terrified of URARAKA FOR SOME REASON SMILING AT THOSE WORDS what the fuck. "Alright, next person on the list. Another big one. Kacchan."
"What the fuck do you want, shitty Deku?" Bakugou is, for some reason, calmer than normal. That alone is rather terrifying. It's like he is bottling it down, and that's not healthy. Midoriya, in the meantime, snaps his fingers.
It's a much younger Bakugou. The picture is taken in front of his previous school.
"Aldera High School." Midoriya announces. "MLA recruitment facility." Then he snaps his finger again. It's Bakugou's parents. Somehow Bakugou doesn't explode at the sight of his old pictures (and those of his family) being shown to the extras populating his class.
"Mitsuki Bakugou." Midoriya continues. "Outfit designer. Supplied Levelers, for example Mischief, with quality outfits. Masaru Bakugou. Half of his family is connected to the Creature Rejection Clan." Another snap of the finger.
This time they see a picture of … well, the first idea that comes to their mind is 'furry Bakugou'. Some sort of mammalian mutant, except the look on his face is very Bakugou Katsuki.
"Bakugou's uncle, mother's side." Midoriya announces. "Active member of the Inhuman Supremacy Party." Another snap. This time, to a rather normal looking young man.
"Bakugou's cousin, father's side." Midoriya announces. "Important lieutenant of the Quirkless Liberation Front." Another snap. This time, to a picture of Bakugou playing what seems to be Uno with Tomura Shigaraki, Dabi, Kurogiri and Himiko Toga. In a bar.
"He was also kidnapped by the League of Villains that tried to persuade him to join it." Midoriya announces. Before sighing loudly and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Kacchan. Kacchan, what the fuck. How the hell are you still independent if almost every villainous organization in the country tried to recruit you at some point?"
"BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL FUCKING EXTRAS, THAT'S WHY!" Bakugou shouts back. "I NEED NO SHITTY ORGANIZATION TO BECOME A FEARED VILLAIN, DAMMIT!"
"I both want to say that it's super manly…" Kirishima announces in the resulting silence. "... and want to punch him in the face."
"YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, SHITTY HAIR?!" Bakugou yells back. Midoriya looks thoroughly done with his life.
"You know what, let's ignore it and continue." Midoriya announces before the talk manages to escalate. "Since Kirishima ended up opening his mouth, I might as well talk about him. And, well, about Mina Ashido."
"What?!" They shout almost in unison. "Why are we connected?!" Mina manages to speak first.
"Because, you two goddamn dunces, your families are both working for Abegawa Tenchu Kai yakuza clan." Midoriya announces. Ashido and Kirishima both go slackjawed for a moment.
"Oh my god!" Mina shouts while looking at Kirishima. "I saw those tough people walking you off to the school, and I thought… I thought you were related to some police officers or heroes and…"
"I thought the same about you!" Kirishima almost chokes in shock. "I… oh God I wanted to ask you out for years but if you were from the police I…" He almost goes beet red when he realizes what he just said aloud.
Ashido changes color as well.
"I… I kind of wanted to do the same…" She manages to say without stuttering. Then, after a few seconds of staring at each other up close (they were sitting close to each other, like most of the bakusquad) they kissed. Then they immediately proceed to make out. Rather fervently.
"Momo." Midoriya deadpans. Momo knew what he meant immediately. A few seconds later she uses a water gun she conjured to spray Ashido and Kirishima with freezing cold water.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Mina yells. Kirishima suddenly looks even more pumped out. But temporarily he has no one to make out with.
"This is a serious meeting about serious things." Midoriya announces. "Go get a room afterwards, for now, listen carefully. Momo, if they start doing it again, spray them with water." Momo nods. Kirishima and Ashido look betrayed. "Actually, we might as well talk about you now."
"Oh." Momo is suddenly terrified. Enough for it to be seen.
"Look, I'm not going to judge..." Midoriya announces. Then he snaps his fingers. Another picture, this time one showing a meeting between a handful of people in some room. They can all recognize Momo Yaoyorozu and her mother. The identities of the rest are concealed.
By robes.
Of the Creature Rejection Clan.
"... but seriously, Momo?" He finishes. Momo is about to say something but Midoriya decides to add something. "Tsuyu, no knives here."
Everyone's attention is immediately brought to the frog girl. And the absolute lack of knives in her vicinity.
"Uhm…?" Jirou tries to ask.
"Ribbit." Tsuyu announces. There is no message accompanying the ribbit. She manages to look surprisingly innocent, all things considered.
"... you're fast, I give you that," Midoriya says. Some eyes go to him, their owners clearly confused. "I think I've managed to realize why the hell the CRC has so much funding, and I must say that I'm not impressed. Yaomomo, seriously? Hate crimes? And isn't Jirou your best friend?"
"We only hate complex mutants nowadays." Momo replies. She has given up on acting. "Especially the animalistic ones…."
"Tsu, no." Midoriya says suddenly. When eyes converge on the frog girl, they once again fail to spot anything amiss.
"... right." She sighs, shooting a glance at Tsuyu. Yaoyorozus' are a very old bloodline and we had pretty much zero cases of visible alteration from human baseline anatomy the whole time. How people failed to connect the dots is beyond me."
Midoriya sighs. What's his opinion on the reveal is hard to judge.
"To keep things more or less symmetric, let's move over to Tsuyu Asui." He then says. When eyes converge on her, Tsuyu Asui ribbits loudly. "She and her entire family… at least the adult parts of it… are members of the Inhuman Supremacy Party." Then, immediately, he sighs loudly. "Momo, put down the katana."
Unlike Tsuyu, her reaction was much harder to conceal. She did almost get a fully formed katana out of her body by the time he spoke. When called out, she grimaced and then let the sword fall to the ground. Still only half-formed.
"Oh my god!" Mineta is suddenly thrice as terrified as he was when his misogyny was put into the spotlight earlier. "The ISP?! Aren't they pretty much a band of rapists?!"
"Not quite." Midoriya comments. "They just have that whole 'looking for strong mates' aesthetics with constant headbutting. That they mostly keep to themselves and their potential supporters. Gets very odd sometimes, and is rather easy to misunderst… Momo, no guns."
Half-formed assault rifle falls to the ground. Momo makes the face as if she just bit a lemon.
"Speaking of which, ribbit." Tsuyu raises her hand. "I have an announcement to make."
Midoriya shivers on the inside. It's going to be something nasty, won't it?
"Go on." He says, regardless.
"You're strong." She says. "And smart. I want to give birth to your children." Goddamnit, Tsuyu. Also, Momo looked like she was about to vomit in the background.
"Please run any future relationship plans that involve me through Uraraka first." Midoriya announces. He is super done with it and doesn't even care about the fact that he might just be making a big mistake. Because somehow, just somehow, Uraraka's smile just grew even more excited.
"I don't want a relationship." Tsuyu says. Her head is now tilted a bit, a finger by her lip. Clearly, she is confused. Probably about the misunderstanding. "I just want children. Ribbit."
Midoriya counts to three in his mind. Then he counts to five. Then he counts to seven. Then he has an idea.
"You know what, run that idea through Momo first." He says. Tsuyu blinks at him. Momo has a very… predatory smile on her face. "Use your phones to chat because I don't trust you to NOT kill each other if you get close to each other."
They pull out their phones and start texting something furiously. Midoriya saw people look less angry while trying to kill someone in rage. He has those two murderous maniacs out of the picture for now, great.
"Alright, that leaves us with three of you left." Midoriya honestly wants that talk to be over as soon as possible. "First, Tokoyami. Please, limit yourself to ONLINE religious extremism, got it?"
"Yes." Tokoyami seems to be happy about nothing more getting said.
"Next one, Hagakure." Midoriya turns his head towards the invisible girl. "I get it that you're a late-bloomer and your sister is quirkless. Those are perfectly valid reasons to join the Quirkless Liberation Front. But, once again, do not kill anyone before you gradu… Tsu, knife."
Once again, they all see nothing. Tsuyu is furiously typing as if nothing has happened. Midoriya turns his head towards Hagakure once again.
"After that, by all intents and purposes, go wild." Midoriya concludes his announcement.
"Oh, okay!" Hagakure sounds almost cheerful. "You're all pretty cool, so I wouldn't kill you either!"
Midoriya gives her an All for One-patented death stare. He isn't even sure where her face is, but somehow it works.
"... alright, I'd kill you, but, like, as one of the last ones?" She says.
"Great, that works for now." Midoriya replies. "Finally, Tenya. Please, I get where it all came from. Reading into Stain's crimes to better understand why he did what he did to your brother makes perfect sense. But I'm seriously questioning the fact that the message you get from that was 'Stain was simply targeting the wrong people'. Stop planning murders of HPSC-aligned heroes. Finish the school first, THEN start planning murders. Team up with Shoto, if you're at it."
"That's a great idea!" Tenya makes a few quick swipes with his hand. "Todoroki, are you willing to work together with me on the field of political terrorism once we graduate from UA?"
"Yes." Shoto nods. He looks murderously delighted.
"Great." Midoriya deadpans. "Now that we have introductions behind us, we're moving to the next step of that talk. It won't be long, because we're a bit out of time right now. We're getting a new classmate soon. Hitoshi Shinsou is going to be transferred into the Hero Course thanks to his performance during the sports festival AND Eraserhead's personal guidance."
"Oh, well, I guess that kinda sucks considering… you know, the whole thing?" Hagakure says. Behind her, Momo stops typing furiously for a few seconds to spray Ashido and Kirishima.
"Wait." Todoroki raises his hand. "Isn't Shinsou a son or a grandson of Dictator, that famous villain? Their quirks are very similar and…"
"ICY-HOT, STOP MAKING FUCKING THEORIES BASED ON PEOPLE'S QUIRK AND SHIT LIKE THAT!" Bakugou yells.
"He is out of line but he is right." Jirou comments. "They are a bit…"
"Nah, actually he got it right this time." Midoriya says. He gets a lot of shocked stares. Except for Todoroki. He looks delighted, vindicated and content with his life for once. "He's a grandson. Except, he thinks that his granddad was a dick, is hiding his connection with him and tries to GENUINELY be a hero. So, you know, let me focus on trying to recruit him into villainy. Before that happens, try to NOT make him suspect anything. Got it?"
He gets a choir of various forms of agreement. Good. He is about to say that they're done for the day (and he'll tell them when to come to meet him for an actual lesson in villainy) when Tenya's hand springs up.
"EXCUSE ME FOR ASKING!" He shouts. Then, he continues. On a slightly lower volume. "I was led to believe that the League has a spy on the UA. However, none of us seems to have any connection to that organization, despite all of us being villains. Who is the spy then?"
"No one." Midoriya replies. "Midnight-sensei keeps falling for the 'hot chicks and/or boys in your vicinity' clickbaits. Her laptop is like a highway for hackers at this point." This gets him some laughter from the audience.
"... that makes perfect sense." Tenya nods. "I have no more questions then."
"Great, does anyone else have anything to add?" Midoriya asks. They are significantly past the schedule, and… well, he has something to do afterwards.
"Not a question, but we have an announcement. Ribbit." Tsuyu says. When Midoriya motions her to speak, she does so. "Me and Yaoyorozu came to an agreement. And we decided to settle up the issue like grown-ups."
Momo nods. The phones are already hidden. Looks like they agreed to something. Shocking.
"Please elaborate." Midoriya asks. It isn't going to be anything weird, right?
"We are both going to give birth to your children." Tsuyu immediately annihilates all his hopes and dreams. "Ribbit."
"And then, once they grow up to adulthood, we'll have them fight to the death to establish who is superior, mutants or baseline humans." Momo adds. She looks delighted at the prospect.
Uraraka. Fucking. Beams.
"I'm so fucking done with you all." Midoriya mumbles to himself. "Alright, the meeting is over. All of you go back to the dorms for now. If someone from the faculty asks, we were all out together shopp…"
They hear a loud knock on the door. Oh, great. It's that time already. Midoriya planned it a bit differently, but it looks like there is no point in hiding anything.
"Come in!" He shouts. Some of his classmates seem worried.
"Uhm, hello there?" Itsuka Kendou asks. They can see Monoma and some of her other classmates behind her. "Why were we told to show up here, exactly? We, as in the entirety of 1-B? What's even going on here?"
The 1-A looks confused. Midoriya sighs loudly.
"Mei." He says. Hatsume looks at him questioningly. "Second presentation, please."
It's going to be a long day.
(***)
Feel free to try figuring out wtf are the villainous true selves of the 1-B. I might even make it a two-shot one day if I figure out something funny enough about 1-B. Also, in case you didn't figure it out: 41 Reasons, because two full hero classes +Mei Hatsume.
Also some omakes.
OMAKE1: The True Collector
Sir Nighteye: And this my collection of All Might collectibles.
Midoriya: Git gud, shrub.
Sir Nighteye: Did you say something?
Midoriya: No.
OMAKE2: The True Plan
All Might: Finally, All for One is in jail!
Midoriya: It's wonderful!
Midoriya: By the way, my mom's very lonely right now since her husband recently died in an accident overseas, do you think that you can cheer her up? You've done such a great job with helping me thus far.
All Might: Oh, I guess it won't hurt?
Midoriya, once All Might leaves: Oh yeah, it's all coming together.
OMAKE3: If the conference room was wiretapped
Nedzu: I've discovered something horrible.
Sir Nighteye: What is it?
Nedzu: Midoriya is All for One's son.
Sir Nighteye: ...
Nedzu: He also scammed the quirk out of All Might.
Sir Nighteye: ...
Nedzu: Because he considers it to be a piece of All Might's collectibles.
Sir Nighteye: I'm going to go make a paternity test.
Nedzu: What? Whose?
Sir Nighteye: Midoriya's. I think he might be my son.
OMAKE4: Inside One for All
Nana: He's All for One's son! And a villain!
Yoichi: *closes the valve*
Baigoro Danjo: Yeah, but he helped jail him!
Yoichi: *opens the valve*
Nana: But only so that he can have All Might marry his mother because he wants All Might himself as a collectible!
Yoichi: *closes the valve*
Baigoro Danjo: Yeah, but his mother is super hot.
Nana: What sort of argument is th...
Yoichi: *opens the valve*
Nana: ...
Yoichi: No no, he has a point.
Midoriya: wtf is One for All growing stronger and weaker the whole day
