This is, and I promise, the last installment of this one-shot. Enough is enough ;_; Also it's more of a collection of weird short stories.

HORNY CONQUERS ALL

"THIS DAY IS FUCKING BORING!" Bakugou yells. He and Midoriya are in the common room of their boarding house. The others are all busy doing things elsewhere. It's, generally speaking, a rather boring day. Even Midoriya admits that.

"Yes, Kacchan." He decides to the bare minimum of interactions. "It's kind of boring."

Bakugou seethes for a few moments. Is it the nickname? Is it the fact that he and shitty Deku agreed on something? The world might never know.

"What the fuck do you do when you're bored, shitty Deku?" Bakugou is clearly EXTREMELY bored. Enough to ask the horrible question.

"Well, that depends on who is available." Midoriya replies. Kacchan gives him a weird stare. "I mean, Uraraka for example is a major sub. Like, seriously, it's adorable. She is all for being used by me for pretty much sex relief, never saying no regardless of circumstances, not to mention the whole 'thief caught and punished and/or sold into slavery' roleplay…"

Kacchan stares at him slackjawed. Midoriya continues talking, completely ignoring that fact.

"Jirou clearly has something for risky sex." He says. "She can use her quirk for detection of potential witnesses, so it's not like we can REALLY be caught, but it's enough to make things more spicy for her. So I guess it's mostly outdoor stuff with her."

Kacchan starts letting out a choking sound, strangling his attempt to speak before it managed to get anywhere.

"Asui in the meantime is veeeery into certain forms of petplay and anything related to impreg…"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Kacchan eventually explodes. Midoriya blinks at him a few times, in a visible surprise. "I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT! Don't you have any normal fucking hobbies, you fucking horndog Deku? Like something related to All Might, maybe?"

"Well…" Midoriya scratches his chin.

(***)

Earlier

"You abhorrent villain!" Midoriya says loudly, wearing his best All Might cosplay. He doesn't do The Face, because… yeah, that makes things way too weird. He IS their teacher, after all. And his impression of him is waaaay too good. "I have finally managed to corner you, Purity!"

"Oh, no." Momo says, faking horror rather well. She is wearing the cosplay of Purity, the head of the Creature Rejection Clan, while leaning back on the large bed in her room in the dorms. In Midoriya's opinion, the whole outfit is pretty much a kinky latex nun outfit with some extra steps, but hey! It checks out quite well. "I'm at your mercy now, hero!"

(***)

"... there might be something in that vein." Midoriya admits. "But I'm not sure if you want to hear about it."

Kacchan seethes in silence for a few seconds. Eventually he comes to a decision. It's one that Izuku honestly expected.

"... I don't even know what it is, but somehow I already feel the urge to punch you in the face." Kacchan announces. Midoriya stares at him in shock.

"You mean… there was a moment when you didn't feel that urge?!" Midoriya half-shouts, his eyes wide with overbearing shock and disbelief. Bakugou shivers visibly. "Kacchan! I'm so proud of your progress!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DEKU!" Ahh, Kacchan is back to his usual self. It's almost adorable, really. "Why the fuck are you like this?! I don't remember you acting that way a few years ago."

"Uhm…" Midoriya is honestly unsure what to answer. So, he goes with what he thinks to be the truth. "... unrestricted access to the internet?"

"THAT IS NOT THE VALID FUCKING ANSWER DEKU!" Kacchan erupts again. "I had it as well and I'm not like that! Is there even a fucking fetish that you don't have?"

"NTR." Midoriya replies without a second of hesitation. When Bakugou gives him an odd stare, he decides to elaborate. "What? I'm a villain, not a fucking monster."

(***)

Elsewhere

All Might sneezes loudly.

"Is everything alright?!" Inko asks quickly. They are out, drinking some tea in a spot with a rather nice look over the sea. "You do have only a single lung left and…"

"Do not worry, Inko." All Might replies with a smile. "I guess someone was speaking about me. Probably something nice." It was Izuku, wasn't he? Oh, that kid is going to be a wonderful vil… hero. "So, back to the subject. How do you fare with your husband… dying in an accident overseas?"

She DID bring her wedding ring on her, but honestly, it only makes it better if he manages to succeed in his goal for the day.

(***)

"Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Bakugou refuses to let go. "Can't you just be FUCKING NORMAL for once?"

"Dunno." Midoriya shrugs. "How are you doing on that field then? Found any cute femboys for yourself?"

Bakugou loses the ability to breathe for a few seconds.

"WHAT THE FUCK DEKU?!" He yells back. "I'M NOT INTO TRAPS! THEY ARE GAY!"

"Oh my God." Midoriya gasps. In a very fake way. "We need to check on Pony and get Ibara asap! Tsunotori probably died and her spirit has just possessed you! We might need to exorcize her out of you or you'll stay in denial forever!"

"Don't you dare…"

"Kacchan, trust me, I'm an expert!" Midoriya gives him an angelic smile. "The gayness of traps is one by association! Since they mix female and male elements, whether they are gay depends on whether YOU are a gay! If you are, then you're clearly attracted to their male characteristics, making them gay. But if not, then you are attracted to their female part, which makes liking them perfectly heterosexual, if a bit spic…"

Kacchan throws a pen at him. Midoriya manages to dodge it. Phew. That was a close one.

"STOP THAT!" Kacchan yells back. "STOP MAKING THINGS UP AND STOP BEING SO GODDAMN HORNY THE WHOLE TIME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH…"

"Kachaaan!" Midoriya decides to try to help his childhood bully solely out of a deep desire to conclusively prove him wrong. Besides, it might be hilarious! "Just go ask Kaminari out or something."

Silence.

"... what?" Bakugou blinks at him a few times. His anger outburst somehow vanishing on him. "Why the fuck are you bringing Dunce Face up?"

"Oh, he likes to wear a bit different clothes while alone in his room, this sort of thing." Midoriya shrugs, betraying someone's dirty secret like it was no big deal. "If you catch my drift."

"And how the fuck do you know that?" Kacchan's eyes narrow down on him.

"It's my job to know things as a villainous mastermind, Kacchan!" Midoriya tries to dodge. Kacchan dodges his dodge. Midoriya sighs. "... Hatsume put cameras and microphones in all our bedrooms to obtain blackmail material in order to 'persuade' people to use her support items."

"AND YOU FUCKING KNOW ABOUT IT?!" Kacchan erupts.

"Yeah?" Midoriya sees no issue with that. "I mean, her support items are the best, so it's not like she seriously has to persuade someone. And she is giving me the cut off the income from publishing recordings from my room, if you catch my drift. She does alter the way the actors look, so it's totally fine. If you want to know more, go to and search for user 'Hentai Protagonist 69!', and…"

"I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO KNOW MORE!" Kacchan yells back. "I'M LEAVING, SHITTY DEKU!" Then he does so. Looking very, very furious. So, pretty much like he always does.

"Hmph." Midoriya looks as he goes towards the elevator. "Rude." Then he realizes something.

Wait, didn't he push the button leading to the floor where Kaminari's room is?

Uh, oh.

(***)

Kirishima returned to the dorms from a date with Mina, being generally happy about things. Like, a lot of things. He was almost at his room when he saw Bakugou approaching him from the front.

"Bakubro!" Kirishima shouted, getting ready for the mandatory shout back. Yes, their friendship was a rather rough one, but he personally found this manly and…

"Shitty Hair-kun!" Bakugou replies with a wide smile on his face. Kirishima is stopped dead in the track. "It's a wonderful thing to be able to meet you today! How are you doing, my best friend and the best bro I could ever hope to have?"

Uhm. What?

"Err… Himiko, is that you?" Kirishima blinks at him a few times. "That's some… really bad acting."

"What do you mean, Kiribro?" Bakugou blinks at him a few times. "It's me! Your best bro! You should totally just call me Kacchan… wait." He sighs. "Yeah, now that we're talking about this, I need to find Izucchan and apologize to him profusely for my horrible acts towards him. See you later, Kiribro!"

Then he walks past EXTREMELY confused Kirishima, humming something happily. Eijirou kind of expected him to suddenly shapeshift back into Himiko and try to stab him (again), but… it doesn't happen.

What the hell just happened?

Okay, let's not dig into that.

He continues his trek towards his room. He is almost past Kaminari's room when he hears his voice.

"K…Kirishima, is that you?" Oh, Kaminari wants something.

"Yeah, what happened, Kamibro?" Kirishima asks back. He expects Kaminari to pop from his room, but he gets nothing like that. Instead, it's just voice.

"Did you see… uhm, did you see Bakugou?" The voice says. Kirishima voices a confirmation. "Was he… uhm… was he acting weird?"

"Errr, yes?" That was VERY weird in Kirishima's opinion. "Like, very weird. Are you sure it's not Toga, actually?" There is no answer for a moment. "Wait, you were there when it happened?"

"Uhm, y-yes?" Kaminari replies meekly. "We were having an… uhm… study session and, uhm, he suddenly started acting that way."

"Oh." Kirishima scratches his chin. "That's weird. Do you want to come down and sit with us? I think we might need some joint thinking to figure out what happened." He really has no idea how to even begin to approach the issue, that's for sure. They need Yaoyorozu or Midoriya.

"I'm… uhm… not interested in … uhm… sitting down with you right now." Kaminari replies. He sounds a bit odd, but… Kirishima honestly has no idea what it's about, so he isn't going to pry.

"Ah, I get it!" He says, regardless. "Long and hard studying sessions. I always want to just… take a nap afterwards, you get me?"

"Long and… hard…" Kaminari lets out a choking sound. He doesn't elaborate.

What the hell was that about, either way?

(***)

"What. The actual. Fuck." Midoriya says as Bakugou returns to the common room like an hour after his departure, and immediately hugs him.

"Izuchan!" Bakugou replies, tears welling down his eyes. "I'm so sorry that I was a meanie to you this whole time! I shouldn't have acted like that and I'm going to do my best to atone for that so that one day I'll feel worthy of being referred to as Kacchan by you! In the meantime, please call me Deku! I truly earned it and…"

Yaoyorozu (she came back ten minutes ago and she started to work on her homework together with Midoriya) started looking like she was about to vomit in the background. Midoriya, in the meantime, connects the dots.

"KAMINARI, GIVE ME BACK MY BULLY!" He yells from the top of his lungs. A floor above, Kaminari Denki starts shivering profusely in the safe haven of his room.

(***)

"Alright, Problem Children." Eraserhead announces twenty minutes later as he steps into the common area of the dorm room. "What is it this time? Who is injured? Is the building at risk of explosion or…"

"I'm so sorry, Hobo-sensei!" Bakugou yells. He is only narrowly restrained by Kirishima and Midoriya, probably hoping to get close and give Eraserhead a hug. "I'm such a horrible person and I keep shouting at you despite you clearly not sleeping enough, and that's so very nasty of me and…"

"... what the fuck?" Is all that Eraserhead manages to say, while staring at Bakugou in an expression of total shock. "Yaoyorozu, explain." Midoriya is clearly too busy trying to stop Bakugou from hugging people to talk.

"... it might have been sexual frustration the whole time." Yaoyorozu replies. She is still busy trying to clean herself up with a tissue, because it really looks like she ended up vomiting. Wow.

Kaminari wails in the background, sitting on the couch, his face in his hands. Mina and Uraraka seem like they are trying to cheer him up. So it was him. Huh. Absolutely not what Eraserhead expected to happen, to be honest.

"Bakugou, we're going to the Hound Dog." Eraserhead decides. "Maybe he'll fix you up." He can scarcely believe it himself, but he thinks that he prefers the old Bakugou. The murderous and constantly screaming one. Wow.

The new one is, at least, obedient. Even if he ends up crying and apologizing for all the nasty things he did in the past the whole time.

"Wow, that was… something." Midoriya announces as Bakugou departs. "Momo, I think that you're going to win the bet. Kacchan's totally going to join the MLA."

"What?" That takes her off-guard. "Why? I mean, I know that Kaminari is from it, but don't you think that's a bit… too weird of a recruitment method?"

"MLA has a rather vast repertoire of recruitment methods, let me put it that way." Midoriya says before shivering internally. "I'd prefer to not elaborate, if possible." Sometimes knowing too much is a curse.

"... okay?" Yaoyorozu blinks at him in visible surprise. And maybe with a bit of worry in her eyes.

(***)

Many Years Ago

"I'm not going to join the MLA!" Chitose Kizuki says loudly. The supposed interview with Rikiya Yotsubashi went much more different than she expected. She just found that the MLA exists, that Detnerat Company CEO is an heir of an ancient villainous conspiracy. "How dare you even suggest something like that?!"

"I see." Re-Destro replies calmly. "It seems that I must use the alternative recruitment method."

Oh no.

"Are you going to… kidnap and brainwash me?" She is terrified. If he gives her a moment, if she could call the police or the heroes, but he most likely won't and…

"Not really, no." Rikiya replies. "Because, you see, I had someone check your computer. And I know your internet browser history."

"Wha…"

Within a few seconds, he grows from his normal self into a muscular, blackskinned juggernaut, his muscles ripping the suit apart. Somehow, he managed to put a genuine red rose in his mouth while at it, giving her an… interesting stare.

"Uhm…" Kizuki's face starts changing color. "... do you guys… uhm… have a brochure or something?"

(***)

"So, yeah, congratulations for getting some, Kaminari." Midoriya decides to be nice. "Like, wow, you have to be super good at…"

"We didn't do anything!" Kaminari wails and Midoriya finds himself staring at him in shock. "He just… he said wanted to see how I look when I crossdress and… then he suddenly hugged me, said that I'm too pure to do anything with and left me there!"

Silence in the room.

Midoriya manages to speak first.

"Wait, how the hell do you exactly look like when you crossdress?" It was, all things considered, a major mistake.

(***)

Eraserhead enters his classroom the day afterwards. He is… tired. Very, very tired. It was a very long day for him and it's probably only going to get worse. He just feels it.

"Alright, Problem Children." He announces while heading towards his desk. He is yet to look at them, because he wants to prolong his time of relative calmness and happiness, if only for a few more seconds. "Hound Dog says that he'll manage to fix Bakugou, though it'll take him a few days. In the meantime, he'd really like to know what the hell happened to him and…"

It's at this point that he actually reaches the desk and looks at them. Immediately he realizes that something is wrong.

They are all sitting in their seats. Calmly. Obediently. The only exception is Kaminari who seems to be crying.

"Uhm." Eraserhead blinks a few times. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Aizawa-sensei!" Midoriya stands up from his seat. "We wanted to openly apologize for making your work harder than it had to be. Our regular… chaotic behavior is clearly hard on you, and this is utterly unacceptable for the students of this wonderful institution!"

Aizawa can feel the blood leaving his face. In the background, Yaoyorozu has enough. She stands up from her seat, approaches Tsuyu and gives her a rather fervent hug.

"I'm so sorry for being mean to you and being a part of a group that wants to exterminate your kind to the last!" She wails. "You are such a wonderful friend and a classmate! I'm so sorry, Tsu-chan!"

"Apologies accepted, ribbit." Tsuyu replies, while hugging her back. "I'm sorry for planning to murder you as well, Momochan!"

Eraserhead pulls the phone out of his pocket, not letting the chaos in front of him out of his eyesight for even a second.

"Hound Dog." He says into a phone. "It might be infectious. We need to quarantine the 1-A immediately."

Few moments later steel shutters cover the windows, while the doors get electronically locked from the outside.

Kaminari's crying gets much louder.


JOYS OF FATHERHOOD

"We're all gathered here…" Midoriya says to the 1-B gathered in front of him. Then he decides to make an equivalent of saying 'screw that'. "Well, you all fucking know why we're gathered here, you goddamn shitnuggets."

"Look, mistakes WERE made, but…" Kendou tries to speak, but he doesn't let her.

"I get it that you were all being very competitive towards 1-A." Midoriya ignored the interjection entirely. "Especially Monoma." Neito shrinks in his seat. "And that we had the school festival. Which is a great occasion to showcase your superiority in NON-VIOLENT ways."

"... which is boring." Kendou mumbles. Tokage seems to be in agreement on that. Midoriya, naturally, ignores them.

"But I'm going to have to ask." Midoriya takes a deep breath. "WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO LET MANGA MOTHERFUCKING FUKIDASHI BE IN CHARGE OF A HAUNTED HOUSE DECORATIONS?!"

He is VERY angry. When that happens, he does… uhm… channel his inner Kacchan a bit. It shows.

Manga starts signing quickly.

"What do you mean by 'you haven't fucked your mother because she died during childbirth and it's pretty cool according to Wash as it made you start earl…" Midoriya blinks. " You know what, I don't want to know. Back to the subject, whose idea was that?"

Silence. Everyone is trying to not look at him.

"We had forty-seven people flee from it while screaming." Midoriya starts listing. "Seventeen fainted and had to be rescued by the heroes. Four of those heroes fainted and had to be rescued as well. We also had a one nigh-fatality, because Manga gave someone a literal heart attack and that guy was a veteran underground hero."

At least the Recovery Girl managed to save him. Narrowly so, but yeah.

Manga starts signing again. Midoriya watches it emotionlessly for a few seconds before suddenly erupting again.

"STOP APOLOGIZING FOR NOT KILLING THEM ALL YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Then he throws a glass of water from his speaker's podium at Manga. Who managed to dodge it. As a result, Tokage gets hit by it.

"HEY!" She didn't like it one bit. Midoriya, once again, doesn't care in the slightest.

"Look, we thought that it wasn't THAT bad." Kendou, the class-representative, takes charge for it. "Fukidashi kept testing things on us for like a week, and while it was spooky as shit, it wasn't THAT bad."

"... speak for yourself." Awase mumbles.

"Testing things?" Midoriya asks, his brow raised and his anger temporarily forgotten.

(***)

Three Days Earlier

Late at night

Awase hides in the corner of the common room. The darkness of the room is overbearing, the sound of footsteps in it terrifying. The lightswitch wasn't working, and Awase crawled into the corner after falling on his knees and discovering that he was kneeling in a pool of blood.

He doesn't scream. He is too terrified of drawing the attention of whatever predator is in here. Was it a villain? Who the hell was that?! Why wasn't anyone coming down? He just wanted a glass of water and…

Something emerges from the blackness in front of him. Something large and inhuman. Awase screams. The lights are suddenly on.

It's Manga. Holding a large paper with some words written on it in front of him. The monsters are gone, there is only a single one left.

"W…what?" Awase says, still huddled into the corner. Manga pushes the paper forward, letting him read what was written on it.

It's a questionnaire. About the emotional impact and his opinion about the exact degree of fear that Manga managed to cause in him with his… presentation.

"W…what?" Awase mumbles, his eyes still on the absolute psychopath that he ended up having to live with in the same boarding house.

(***)

"Manga, stop traumatizing your classmates." Midoriya comments after the short story is over. "Start traumatizing your teachers and unaffiliated civilians and pro-heroes instead." Manga gives him a thumbs-up gesture. "Alright, so back to the subject at hand. Who the hell was it that thought that letting a Disciple of Wash do the haunted house decorations was a good idea?"

Once again, silence. No one is ready to admit it, but it was pretty much a joint idea. Because they REALLY wanted to beat 1-A this time around. And Manga promised to sandbag it. If THAT was him sandbagging…

"...at least Eri liked it inside." Someone mumbles. Someone was clearly suicidal as they all realize when they are washed over by a tidal wave of a murder intent.

"Could. You. Elaborate. Please?" Midoriya says, in his eyes - murder.

(***)

Three Weeks Earlier

Shie Hassaikai Headquarters

"Shouldn't we, like…" Uraraka scratches her head with her free hand. The other one is still holding Chronostasis. Kari Hurono is beaten up, half-conscious, her arm around his neck. "... do something?"

"... Like what? Grab some popcorn?" Lemillion is almost as beaten up as Chronostasis is (courtesy of his brawl with Overhaul before the other two arrived at the scene), but still manages to make a joke. He is just… very, very confused at the moment. He doesn't charge in, despite being an actual, honest-to-god, hero.

[at least that's the official version, Midoriya isn't sure if he is to believe it, that guy is too smiley at all times, it's unnatural]

"YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THE SHIE HASSAIKAI!" Eri yells in righteous fury. "YOU PUT MY GRANDPA IN A COMA, THEN YOU STARTED PEDDLING DRUGS AGAINST YAKUZA CODE OF HONOR AND THEN YOU LET HEROES BEAT YOU UP?!"

"Eri, I…"

"YOUR OYABUN PRIVILEGES ARE REVOKED!" Eri yells. "WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GOING TO BE TEN TIMES THE MOB BOSS THAT YOU ARE!"

Then she takes advantage of her lower relative size and punches Overhaul. Where it really, really hurts. The man didn't expect it and has promptly fell to the ground.

"Uhm, Uraraka?" Midoriya asks as Lemillion actually runs forward, probably to save Overhaul from Eri. As she was now trying to figure out a way to stab him with her horn. "We're adults, right?"

"Err, yes?" She asks back, clearly confused. "They changed it so that the hero schools only recruit 18 years old a few years ago." Something that he really, really should be aware of. Being the hero/villain/whatthefuck nerd that he was.

"And you're good with paperwork and legal stuff, right?" Midoriya asks, his eyes still on Eri.

"I think that Momo's better, but… yeah?" Uraraka asks. Chronostasis is trying to wiggle around so she strengthens the hold and starts choking him. Lemillion's attempt to get Eri off Overhaul fails a bit as she kicks Chisaki in the face, his mask falling off. "What do you want me to prepare?"

"... adoption papers." Midoriya announces. Uraraka's jaw drops.

(***)

Two Weeks Earlier

UA

"No, Midoriya." Eraserhead announces. He looks as tired as always, maybe more. "I'm not letting your adoptive daughter live in the dorms with you. Even if she's getting a separate room on the girl's side, to avoid… seeing too much."

Midoriya's room is… very lively nowadays, so to speak. Eraserhead is secretly impressed. With maybe a hint of certainly-not-paternal pride.

"But…" Midoriya tries to argue back.

"I said, no." Aizawa says. Midoriya decides to use the final argument. He looks at the small girl right next to him.

The girl is wearing what looks like a very, very grim take on a magical girl outfit. Black. With skulls. Momo probably made it for her. That feels like her sort of aesthetic, at least if you excluded things like CRC robes.

"Eri-chan, what are you planning to do when you grow up?" Midoriya asks. His eyes are beaming, like they always do when Eri Midoriya is anywhere in sight.

"I'm going to become Japan's most terrifying mob boss." Eri replies, making an eye contact with Eraserhead and not faltering in the slightest. "And kill all heroes. Except for those who are also villains. Those are cool. Like my new daddy."

Silence in the room. Eventually, Eraserhead sighs.

"That's a compelling argument." He admits. "Fine. But if she kills someone, that's on you."

They immediately hug in front of him, smiling widely and happily. Ugh. Too bright for Eraserhead.

(***)

One Day Earlier

Haunted House

"That was super cool, Fukidashi-oniichan!" Eri shouts with a wide smile, beaming at Manga. Who just let her walk through his Haunted House. Mostly because, as already established, he was an absolute psychopath. "Do you think that you can decorate my villain lair as well, once I grow up?"

He gives her a thumbs-up gesture. It's just more fear and pain out there, if only among her enemies, right? It's totally alright then.

"I believe…" Ibara says, while standing up. "... that it is time to act responsibly. The event that happened was a major mistake on our part, after all. This is something that we all agree upon. And that's why…" She takes a deep breath in.

No words come out. Instead, in a heartbeat, she is by the door, opening it up with an elbow and fleeing out of the room. This is the signal. Everyone else starts running away, through either the door, or window or, in Honenuki's case, through the floor.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SONS OF …"


DEVELOPMENTS

The school festival was in full-swing. Midoriya was sent to a nearby convenience store because they were missing a rope. Uraraka decided to swing by.

Izuku, naturally, made a few lighthearted jokes regarding the usage of said rope. Uraraka, naturally, found them very interesting. Pretty normal day, all things considered.

Then they run into Gentle Criminal and La Brava exiting a tea house right next to the convenience store.

"Oh, Uncle Danjuro! Auntie Aiba!" Midoriya waves at them. They wave back, with only a split second of hesitation, probably caused by Uraraka being there. The same Uraraka that stared at them in total shock.

"Izuku!" Gentle Criminal smiles back. "It's wonderful to see you today? What brings you here?"

"We were sent to buy something for the festival." Midoriya replies. "And you?"

"We're here to break into the UA during the festival." Gentle Criminal replies without a second of hesitation. A smile erupts on Midoriya's face.

"That's awesome! Go give the teachers hell!" He says, and Gentle Criminal looks happy to be encouraged by his unofficial nephew. "Wait, before that…'' He looks at still paralyzed Uraraka. "Do you want an autograph, Ochako-chan?"

She very much does.

(***)

Once she gets their autographs and they depart to cause all sorts of mischief and chaos at the school festival (Midoriya is going to see the whole thing at their youtube channel), Uraraka suddenly speaks.

"Marry me." She says.

"I mean, isn't that already agreed upon?" He asks, scratching the side of his head.

"No, like, as soon as possible?" She seems to be confused with his confusion. "I'll get marriage registration forms once the festival is over."

… what?

"Seriously?" He asks, it's a bit strange for her to continuously want to one-up their relationship each time she discovers some new thief in his family. "I mean, I'm not against it, but…"

"Izukuuuu…" She says. "You're cute, you're smart, you're quite ripped, you're wealthy as heck, you are on the first name basis with pretty much all my idols AND you've managed to single handedly make sex into my favorite hobby ex acqueo with astronomy and I'm absolutely crazy about astronomy." She inhales deeply. "Why the hell would I risk some hoe sneaking in and stealing you from me?"

Well, that's a fair assessment.

"Is it about Jirou?" The other two's approach to his… relationship status was really hard to quantify, really.

"What? No, marry her and the others too, I'm all for that." Ochako seems surprisingly pumped up about it. Is it even legal? Midoriya is so confused. "I mean you know who, mostly."

"Oh."

(***)

League of Villains Headquarters

Himiko sneezes loudly.

"Oh, great. Someone's talking about you." Tomura complains, not stopping playing a videogame for a second. "Probably talking shit about you. Like we all do."

"Shut up, Handjob." She yells back. "Everyone loves me!" Then she is back to writing her fanfic about a forbidden love between her and Izuchan. It's going to be so good! Even if it's going to be very, very mature, and mostly due to gore.

(***)

"... and Eri?" Midoriya asks.

"Well, she's going to have such a wonderful group of moms." Uraraka shrugs. "I mean, she is absolutely adorable and precious! I ran into her practicing evil monologues before the mirror in her bathroom, can you believe this? I wanted to hug her so much."

"Well then, I guess I'm all for it?" Midoriya decides. He has a faint feeling that making such life-changing decisions on the way back from a convenience store is a bit weird, then again, what in his life ISN'T weird nowadays? "You think I should offer the same to the others, as well?"

"Sure!" Uraraka smiles. "I'm sure they'll agree. The only question might be getting Tsuyu and Momo to NOT kill each other after becoming part of one family, but… I mean, don't you get the feeling that they're slightly… nicer to each other? Less murderous? Especially since the Kaminari Incident?"

"Now that you say it…" Midoriya agrees. "It really is so, right?"

(***)

Elsewhere

"Why… the hell… did you want to meet me in private?" Momo says, disgust dripping off her tongue. "Are you finally going to try to kill me or what? Sounds like something a disgusting animal like you would indulge into and…"

Tsuyu pulls something out from her pocket. It's a pregnancy test. The result it displays is positive.

"Git gud, bitch. Ribbit." Then she jumps out through the window.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"