Prompt #15: Noah has his first crush and EO help him deal with it together.
Summary: Set a few years in the future, when Elliot and Olivia are married and live together with Noah. Noah reveals that he's in love with one of his good friends. Elliot and Olivia help him in his quest for love, heavy on the Elliot and Noah gang. If you have every line of Love Actually memorized like I do, then you might recognize some of this. Written before the episode on Jan 13.
He's The One
•••
Elliot and Noah are sitting on a park bench, spending another tense Saturday together, while his mom was called in to work.
Finally Elliot decides to break the silence. "So what's the problem? Is it just the usual, or is it something else? Is it something at school — are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues?"
Noah is just staring at him quietly, so it doesn't even seem like Elliot is going on and on, but you can feel his worry from a mile away.
"You sure you really want to know?" Noah asks, looking up at Elliot with his big blue eyes.
"I really want to know."
"Even though you won't be able to do anything about it?"
Elliot considers this for a second and then nods. Of course he's being slightly disingenuous. Elliot Stabler still thinks there isn't any situation he can't do something to fix. "Yes."
"Okay. Well…the truth is… I'm in love." Noah looks completely resigned to his fate, like he's just filled his pockets with rocks and walked out into the water.
"I'm sorry, what?" Elliot cocks his head to the side, looking even more intently at the boy. This was clearly the last thing he had expected.
"I know, I know. I should be thinking about school, and Mom and the trial, and when you have to go undercover. But the truth is, I'm in love and honestly it makes it hard to pay attention to anything else. I do care about you and Mom, but—" Noah shrugs. "It's just not on the same level."
"Aren't you kind of young to be in love?" Elliot is smiling, incredulous.
"No," Noah deadpans.
"Oh, well, okay. Right."
Elliot rearranges himself on the bench and brushes his knuckles over the tiny bit of stubble that he's become accustomed to letting grow in for a few days between shaves, ever since he found out how much Olivia enjoys it.
"I have to admit, I'm a little relieved." Elliot sits back with his arms on the back of the bench and his knees stretched out to the sides.
Noah looks at him like he's crazy.
"I thought you were going to tell me something much worse."
Noah is getting annoyed now. "Worse than the total agony of being in love?"
Elliot looks up, across the park, and sees kids running around and playing on the equipment, sees mothers pushing strollers along the path, sees couples strolling together hand-in-hand. He suddenly realizes, yes, he gets it. Elliot imagines all the moments he's missed.
"No, yeah, you're right. Total agony." He nods and they sit there like that for a bit, not talking, just letting their feelings seep in. They're not the best communicators, but Noah and Elliot have another important thing in common. They're both deeply emotional males. Sometimes that'll happen to men and boys who spend a lot of time around the right kind of woman.
That night Elliot is in bed with his reading glasses on, long bare legs stretched out over the navy blue sheets and crossed at the ankles, while Olivia finishes up washing her face and applying lotion in the bathroom. She flicks off the bathroom light with her elbow, and joins him in bed. Pulling back her side of the covers, she slips in and gets cozy before grabbing her own book from the nightstand. She has to quiet her mind somehow at the end of the day. Besides the job, she's got a teenager now, which is enough to drive anyone to the edge of madness.
Elliot lets his book, the classical literature to her self-help pick, rest on his chest for a second before he looks over at her.
"Liv?" His glasses perch on the tip of his nose and look almost too small for his head.
"Yeah?" she says, not looking up from her book.
"Earlier today Noah and I had a little man to man talk. I think he's opening up to me a little."
"That's good," Olivia says quickly and doesn't bother to dive deeper.
"I thought maybe he was upset because you've been working a lot of overtime lately, and it's just been me and him…"
"He's used to that." Olivia waves her hand in the air to brush away the worry like it's such silly old news.
Elliot tries not to get annoyed that she's being so dismissive when he's talking about something important. He knows she just has the habit of finishing his sentences, so he reminds himself to be patient. He knows when she hears the real news she'll pay attention. "But instead he told me he's in love."
Olivia puts her book down in her lap immediately, losing the page she was on and not noticing. She straightens up. "What?!"
"I know. I was worried it was loneliness or he was being bullied at school or he was being pressured about drugs; all of my thoughts were so much worse than…this."
Olivia stares at him, like she's still processing what he's just shared.
"Liv, you've done such a good job raising Noah." The love he feels for her in this instant is overwhelming; his heart feels like it might jump out of his chest and onto hers.
"He said this? He said he's…in love?" Olivia stammers.
Elliot nods. "At least this is something we can deal with."
Olivia doesn't know how to deal with this. She has a plan to protect him from every other threat. But this? She's almost relieved he told Elliot, because she doesn't know how she'd react. Every fiber of her being is straining to protect her child from this new grown-up reality. Olivia Benson is the kind of mom who would crush someone with her bare hands if they hurt her Noah. She tries to remind herself that love is not synonymous with hurt.
After she's taken a few deep breaths and collected herself, Olivia puts one hand on Elliot's forearm and says, "I'm so glad he came to you." And she means it. What would she do without this man in her life? Everything is better because of him.
Olivia doesn't sleep great that night. She finds herself staring at the ceiling, imagining scenarios for hours on end. There's so much she doesn't know. But at least she trusts the man next to her to be on the same page as her. She actually thinks, who better to help with this than a father who's done it five times over already? Maureen is happily married with her own children, Kathleen is single but mingling—responsibly, Dickie and his girlfriend have lived together for several years and are all but married, Lizzie and her partner have quite possibly the most stable relationship she's ever seen, and Eli has a new girlfriend at college that seems really good for him. Love doesn't always mean heartache, longing, and trauma. Maybe things will turn out alright, since she's got Elliot on her team now.
•••
A few nights later Elliot goes to check on Noah before heading to bed. He's at his desk, still working on his geometry homework, like the good kid that he is. Elliot plops down on his bed with one knee up, his strong leg muscles showing below his favorite cropped joggers.
"Okay, so, let's crack this. I was a kid once too. I remember what it's like to have a crush," Elliot prods, but gets little reaction from Noah.
"Come on, it's someone at school, right?" Elliot needles him gently.
Noah puts down his notebook and pencil and turns towards Elliot. "Yeah."
"Alright, good!" Elliot claps his hands together too loudly. "And how does she feel about you?"
Noah sighs. He's been kind of dreading this moment. At least it's Elliot, and not his mom. It's not like he's formally adopted him yet or anything but they have talked about it as a family, and Noah all but considers Elliot his dad now. Elliot already has one gay kid.
"He is one of my best friends. He is one of the coolest people I know and everyone at school loves him. You might have even met him once or twice. You'd like him too." Once Noah has it out, he feels better. He leans his arms on the chairback in front of him, holding his breath for Elliot's reaction.
Elliot suddenly has the realization that Noah is studying his response at this very moment. He sits up straighter, and doesn't say anything at first. Elliot has the intense desire to get this right; there were so very many things he didn't get right with his other kids. He sees Noah as his renewed chance for everything he wants to be as a father.
Elliot nods his head in silence, taking this all in. "Okay…so tell me more about him."
"His name is Oliver. We've known each other since elementary school. He plays baseball." Noah starts to smile while talking about the boy he loves. "I was never really any good at baseball; I used to play a long time ago… But Oliver is incredible! Watching him play is one of my favorite things in the world! That's why I try to go to every game, even though Mom doesn't like me to go to the ones that aren't at our school."
"Oliver huh?" Elliot says, trying not to screw up his face too much.
"I know. Just like Mom. Weird, right?"
Elliot nods, considering this new Noah in front of him, understanding he's not really new at all. He's always had this little bit of extraordinariness inside of him.
"But it'll never work, because we're friends and he'll probably think I'm weird." His face turns from happy and gushing to dejected and miserable almost instantly. "And I'll end up miserable and alone forever."
Elliot can clearly see he's put a lot of thought into this already. "Noah, I'm sure he's unique and amazing, but…isn't it kind of unlikely that in all the world there is only one person for each of us?"
"There was for Mulder and Scully. There was for you and Mom. There is for me!" Noah holds up his index finger triumphantly and tries to crack a smile again, semi-unconvincingly. "He's The One!"
Elliot nods.
He remembers what it's like to fall in love with your "best friend" and smiles to himself. He remembers all the times he'd check up on Olivia in the early days, to make sure she was safe in her apartment alone. He remembers bringing her coffee just because. He remembers the first time he asked her and Noah to come to his family's Christmas get-together "as friends." He remembers how she always knew him better than himself.
"Just be yourself, kiddo," Elliot says as he gets up and heads toward the door. "That's why he likes you already anyway. Trust me."
The next morning Elliot is expertly pumping milk into perfect foam with the frother, while Olivia putzes with the Nespresso machine. They always try to get up early and spend at least a little time together on weekdays, before Noah is up and they all have to rush off to work and school.
"Do you want Columbian or…" she squints at the side of the thin box, "Ven-easy-ah?"
Elliot laughs at the way she pronounces the Italian word for Venice. He can't help but find nearly everything she does endearing. "I'll have whatever you're having." He knows he can use the electric kettle and foamed milk to make whatever she chooses into the perfect cup.
Olivia nods, considers her options, and picks the one in the sun-shiney yellow box with the funny name. She leaves the rest to him.
While Elliot works on their coffee, which has become like refining his love language for her over the years, he knows he has to tell her about last night's conversation somehow. So he's surprised when she brings it up before him.
As they take their cups and go to sit in the living room, where bright sunlight reflects off the fresh snow outside, Olivia asks, "So…has Noah said anything else to you about…about, you know?"
Elliot smiles. "Liv, you know you're going to have to say it at some point."
She nods, but this isn't easy for her.
"We talked last night. He told me more about his crush," Elliot says quietly, just in case Noah is already awake in his room. Noah knows he and his mom talk about everything, so he probably would have asked if he wanted Elliot not to say anything, but still Elliot wants to be respectful about it.
Olivia's eyes widen as she finishes another sip of her coffee and almost chokes.
"I need you to be cool about this, Liv. I think it's a huge step that he's trusting me. I don't want to wreck that."
Olivia nods, though it does hurt a little that Noah has come to Elliot with this and not her, she tries to reason with herself. Maybe he's nervous. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe it's better this way.
"Do you know Oliver Jackson? In Noah's class?"
"Yes, he's one of Noah's best friends. They've known each other since elementary school. He's such a good kid…"
Elliot sets his coffee cup down on the table and folds his hands in his lap.
It dawns on her what he's trying to say.
Olivia opens and closes her mouth several times. She's speechless, because how does she say she admires her son so much for always being true to himself? How does she say how proud she is of this man for being the supportive father he went without for so long?
•••
On Thursday night Elliot picks Noah up from dance class, while Olivia grabs dinner on her way home from work.
Noah jumps in the front seat and throws his bag in the back. "Guess what!" He's gushing.
"What?" Elliot smiles one of those ice-melting smiles as he watches Noah buckle himself in.
"They announced the schedule!" Noah holds out a packet of papers stapled together and Elliot takes it, not really knowing what he's looking at. "And the first competition is the second week of February!"
Elliot hands the papers back to Noah as he starts driving. He has to get out of the way of other parents in the pick-up line, otherwise the dance moms start to get cranky. He doesn't want to get honked at again. "Sounds amazing. I can't wait to see you dance this year."
"Right, so I was thinking…" Noah barrels on, like he's been thinking about this for hours and just waiting to tell Elliot. "That I'll invite Oliver, and if I practice really, really hard and dance incredibly, then he'll like me! Just like the way I feel at his games!" Noah is beaming jubilantly.
"That is a great plan, Noah." Elliot is nodding as he steers the big SUV carefully through the Midtown streets.
"Maybe if I win the competition, then Oliver will think I'm cool enough to date! He always says he thinks it's so cool that I do a sport that's out of the ordinary, like dance!"
Elliot wishes he could bottle Noah's exuberance right now. He can't help but smile; the feeling in the car is infectious.
"You know what?" Elliot slaps the steering wheel lightly. "Let's make a quick stop before we head home."
Noah is still smiling as he watches Elliot park illegally in front of a bodega. "Okay!"
Elliot puts his lights on, just in case. As he hops down he says, "You stay here and watch the car ok? I might need a get-a-way driver." He and Noah fist bump and they laugh.
Elliot closes the door and then makes his selection from a row of flowers just inside the door of the small shop. He pays and is back out and they're on their way again quickly. The pair look at each other conspiratorially.
"Romance is in the air." Noah giggles.
When they get home, Olivia is arranging the take-out containers on the table. She's put out plates and silverware for everyone, and is just cleaning up the bags as they walk in the door.
"Hey Mom!" Noah bounds down the hall to drop his bag in his room before coming back to find his place at the table.
Elliot sheepishly holds out the bouquet of orange roses and gives Olivia a kiss before he's even got his jacket off.
"What's this for?" She grins, taking them in her arms. He remembered her favorite flowers.
"Just because…" Elliot holds her in his arms. "I love you." He kisses her again, and this time it goes on and on, and she sighs against his lips.
"Get a room!" Noah shouts, already digging into the chow mein.
"We have one!" Olivia shouts and then laughs as Elliot goes over to rub his curly hair aggressively.
"Ya wee scoundrel," he says with a fake accent.
They all laugh now as Olivia sets the flowers in a vase on the counter and joins her boys at the table. She beams at them as they talk and eat; it's everything she ever wanted.
At some point they notice she's not eating, and is still just looking at them with dreamy love-filled eyes.
"What is it, mom?" Noah asks.
She shakes her head a little, trying not to tear up. "I just love you," is all she says, and it's all she needs to say.
"Aww mom, we love you too," Noah says.
Elliot's eyes twinkle at her as she begins to slowly spoon rice and orange chicken onto her plate.
"Hey Noah," she says softly, "I want you to know I support you, no matter what."
Noah looks between Elliot and his mom, and he knows that they must have talked about Oliver, but he isn't upset. He just feels relieved, and loved.
"Thanks Mom."
•••
Oliver fidgets nervously with his hands as he sits in the audience next to Noah's parents.
"Thanks for bringing me with you today, Mr. and Mrs. Benson-Stabler," Oliver says and Noah's mom nods at him, smiling but with shiny eyes.
He can hardly believe his parents let him come all the way to New Jersey with his friend's family for the whole day. They're usually so protective. His mom is the Assistant Principal at another charter school and his dad's a surgeon. It's nothing like the pressure of having two cops for parents, but it's close.
Thankfully the lights go down around them soon so Oliver can stop thinking about protective parents, and the dancers begin taking the stage. There are a lot of kids in this competition so they all have to sit through many dances that Noah's not in, but they're all really interesting and different.
Then he sees the costumes from Noah's first number — it's a group dance, and everyone on stage is supposed to be depicting ninjas. They run and jump in battle, all jutting arms and bent legs. It's exciting and fast-paced with heart-pounding music. The lights are flashing red and green and gold. By the end everyone is out of breath, even the audience. Noah holds his hand over his heart as he bows and bounds off the stage.
"Wow," Oliver says quietly, reverently, as the lights dim again.
Next is a funny duet with two young girls dressed as ducklings. Then a flashy musical theater dance with a big group. Then comes the solos category. Noah's is the second to last dance.
At first they can barely see anything on the stage, the lights are so low. Then a deep indigo light seeps across the darkness to reveal Noah in a tight silver outfit, with one leg bent under him and his other stretched out obtusely. He looks like a huge triangle, with his head bent to the opposite side, the lines of his small body stretched to their limits. The music starts and Noah proceeds to show two hundred plus people the most heartbreakingly beautiful lyrical dance of his young life.
Oliver realizes he's holding his breath, and when he glances over at Elliot and Olivia he sees them holding hands and longs to feel something like that.
After all the dances are over and Noah has collected his first place trophy, the trio meet him in the hallway.
"That was sooo great!" Oliver exclaims when he sees Noah, running over to give him a high five and a hug.
Oliver's not sure if Noah intended this to be a date-date. His parents are here after all. But it is special and it is almost Valentine's Day, so Oliver decided to take a chance anyway. Plus, he reasoned with himself earlier in the check-out line at Walgreens, you're supposed to bring flowers to dance recitals. Not that this is a recital, but whatever.
"I got this for you," Oliver says. He nervously hands Noah the single chocolate rose he'd picked out earlier from the candy aisle. With it's green wire stem and it's bright red foil shell, suddenly it seems so obvious to him.
"Seriously, you were amazing," he adds anxiously.
"Thank you," Noah responds, as he stares for a second too long at Oliver. He too thinks about how obvious he must be right now.
Then Elliot and his mom both gather him up into an embarrassingly proud group hug and pour accolades on Noah until he's practically pushing them away.
"Let's go grab some dinner, what'd ya say?" Elliot ruffles Noah's hair and Noah scrambles to fix it as his almost-dad turns to find his mom's hand like there's some kind of gravity between the two of them. Noah rolls his eyes at Oliver and they both laugh. Elliot's so obviously in love too.
"I'm starved!" says Noah.
"Yeah, me too," agrees Olivia.
Noah zips his coat and hoists his bag over one shoulder as they turn to follow the adults down the hall. Noah glances around and then takes a deep breath before he grabs Oliver's hand, mirroring Elliot's romantic gesture.
Oliver looks down at their hands, and then over at him, and smiles. It's the kind of smile that could light a thousand stages. And Noah feels like he's won the only competition that ever really matters.
