When Anthony woke up the next morning, he kept his eyes closed for a few more minutes. He did not know what he would be waking up to. What if he travelled to the past again and came to the day he challenged Hastings to a duel? Scared, he opened his eyes to find his room the same way he left last night. So, this should be April 15th, 1814. He opened his curtains to let the golden light of dawn in. He stared at the window and wondered if Kate was alright. "Kate!" he gasped. It was dawn! She would have gone on her morning ride.
Anthony dressed as fast as he could and rode to the park, looking around for Kate. Then, at last, he saw her riding. "Miss Sharma!" he called out, riding towards her. Kate turned back in shock at his voice and slowed down. Anthony could not help being surprised. He had been ready for another race. When he neared her, he could see Kate looking daggers at him. He knew he had to be worried about it, but he couldn't help feeling anticipatory. He was trying to fight a smile.
"Miss Sharma-" Anthony started, only to be interrupted by Kate.
"Do not take my name. You, sir, played me a fool yesterday. Did you really think you and Mr. Dorset could deceive me? Hear me now. I will never let you court my sister."
This was definitely not how he imagined the conversation going. Why did he have to enlist Dorset? "Miss Sharma, I meant no harm. I only wanted to spend some time with your sister and get to know her. After yesterday, I can now say that I will follow your orders. I won't court her."
Kate had opened her mouth ready to argue and then stopped frowning in confusion. Her eyes lit up in anger and she asked, "What do you mean by that, my lord? Does she not fit your requirements? Are you saying my sister does not have acceptable wit and genteel manners?"
"Do not twist my words and presume anything, Miss Sharma. Your sister is, in truth, a perfect diamond. She is intelligent and delightful, but she is also not for me. Since the ball at the conservatory, I have put a lot of thought about the bride I want-".
"More requirements?"
"I want that someone who is the one for me. Someone who is caring, responsible and someone who puts family above all else. Someone who I can trust. Someone without whom I cannot live." Anthony wanted to say it was her he wanted with all his heart, but he couldn't.
Kate looked at Viscount Bridgerton in his horse. He was looking at her like she was the only being in the whole world. She felt herself getting lost in his eyes and her breath shortening. There was a fire at the pit of her stomach. Her horse stirred and she broke away from the moment. She blinked and turned her head. She was sure this was another one of his manipulations. She had to protect her sister and make sure Edwina is not swept off by him. She narrowed her eyes and told him, "Now that you know this someone isn't my sister, I trust you will keep your distance from us. If I ever see you in her presence or if you ever try to communicate with her in some way, I-"
"How about a deal?" the Viscount interrupted.
"What deal?" Kate asked warily.
"I will always be ten feet away from your sister and in return, you would allow me to join you in your morning rides."
"How could you think I'll ever allow that?"
"I thought protecting your sister was the most important thing to you. Can't you make this small sacrifice for her?"
"I can protect my sister well without making a deal with the devil, my lord." She turned her horse and started galloping. What did he think of himself? She turned around to see him gazing at her with concern. Something was definitely wrong with him. There was no way she could allow him to get near her sister.
Anthony's heart was beating fast, scared that she might fall down again. He wanted to take her to his home and protect her from everything. He wanted to yell and order her to stop riding. He knew he couldn't do that though. He could hear Kate's whisper "What did I tell you about you and your orders?" in his mind. He shivered. If he asked her to stop riding, she was only going to gallop even faster. He has to somehow convince her to take the morning rides with him. He should maybe take a surgeon with them too. Yes, that would work.
…
Anthony dodged Colin's blade and lunged. Beads of sweat rolled from his forehead. He couldn't fully concentrate on their fight though. He kept thinking about his situation. He had followed Kate secretly to make sure she reached the Danbury house safely. It wasn't what a gentleman would have done but it was never easy to be a gentleman in front of Kate. If he hadn't followed her, he would have gone out of his mind worrying. He wanted her. He wanted her safe and happy, but she clearly didn't want him because of the horrible first impression he had made. He had to find a way to change her opinion. He knew family was very important to her. Maybe if he showed how much he loved his family and stayed far from her sister, he could get back in her good graces.
Colin parried and knocked Anthony's sword. "Your head is elsewhere, brother. Are you still questioning reality?"
"Questioning reality?" asked Benedict with an eyebrow raised.
Anthony looked at his brothers. He had always kept all of his troubles to himself, not wanting his siblings to feel distress in anyway. He wanted to talk to them now though. He'll never truly admit how much Benedict's advice about changing perspectives really helped him. "As you know, I have decided to marry this season."
"Yes, yes, we have heard it enough times. You are going to make the diamond your viscountess." Benedict said with exasperation.
"Well, I've changed my mind. I don't think Miss Edwina is the one for me. I have decided to marry Miss Kate Sharma." Anthony explained and then frowned. "If she'll have me." He added in a small voice.
Benedict and Colin went still in shock and traded looks.
"She hates me now. She can't stand me. I have done a lot of mistakes, but I don't think I can live without her." Anthony continued; his eyes filled with desperation. "And I do not know what to do now. I do not know." Anthony walked to a bench nearby and sat there with his head down.
It was Benedict's and Colin's turn to not know what to do. They had never seen their brother like this. Anthony has always known what to do. It might not have been the right thing, but he was never confused. He always acted thinking what he does is best. Benedict just couldn't see Anthony confused and desperate. He was realizing the many times Anthony did his duty without ever letting his family know how he was feeling. For the first time, he has asked for help. Benedict looked at Colin and saw Colin's shock still in his eyes.
"Yesterday morning, you compared Miss Sharma to a thorn. What changed in a day?" Benedict asked. On second thoughts, maybe Benedict shouldn't have been so surprised. Didn't Anthony spend a copious amount of time talking about her? Benedict narrowed his eyes at his brother and asked, "Was this decision taken with your head or heart?"
Anthony met his eyes and said, "Both. My head only thinks of her, and my heart only beats for her."
Colin was convinced Anthony had taken some of his special tea. He knew he shouldn't have given it up yesterday. When had his brother ever been even a little bit poetic? But Anthony was looking so pathetic that Colin had to console him. "You always ruin things, brother. It's what you do. We all despise you, but we also love you with all our heart. Give her time and get to know each other. How can she not fall in love with the capital R Rake of our ton?"
Anthony let out an exhale. Maybe he shouldn't have shared his troubles with Colin. Colin did take out a large amount of money to invest in a field he barely knew about. He has to do something about that soon.
Benedict went to sit near Anthony and patted him. "If you do feel for her, let her know that. Like Colin said, spend some time with her. Also, you should let Miss. Edwina know you are no longer interested in her and would like to court her sister. Isn't that the gentlemanly thing to do?"
"I think we are missing an important fact here." Colin said. "I just defeated Anthony."
Anthony shook his head. Was Colin ever going to grow up?
…
Anthony was working in his study when he heard his mother talking with Colin and Eloise. He walked out to find them in fine evening wear. This scene was familiar to him. It was the night of Lady Danbury's soiree, the one he was not invited to. It looks like it was time to bribe Lady Danbury's footman again.
He got ready and entered the Danbury house to see a suitor spinning a disc. He had to take a moment and stare. What was he doing? Did he think spinning a disc will impress the young ladies? Anthony couldn't fault him much as even he didn't know how to impress the lady he had in his mind. Lady Danbury thankfully put a stop to the display and suggested a break. He turned to see Kate. He'd known where she was the moment he entered the room but it looked like she hadn't noticed him yet. She was busy talking to Eloise. He hoped they weren't discussing him as Eloise didn't seem to have anything good to say about him recently.
"Lord Bridgerton! I was not expecting to see you here." Lady Danbury said when she saw him.
"I seem to have fallen off the guest list. Though surely, you'll never deny a young man you've known for twenty-nine years the pleasure of your company?"
"You are always welcome to my home." Lady Danbury said with a smile. Anthony wasn't concerned about Lady Danbury taking offense about him being there uninvited. After twenty-nine years, she had to know about his obstinacy. She excused herself soon as she saw a suitor lighting his thumb on fire trying to do a magic trick. Who is coming up with all these ways to woo a lady? How did he even manage to light up his thumb? He should be thrown out of the room for endangering everyone.
Kate had noticed him by now and bristled at his presence. Eloise turned to look at Anthony and smiled at him eagerly. Anthony started worrying. Eloise smiling eagerly never led to any good. Eloise walked towards him, took his arm, and said silently "Miss Sharma is a very intelligent woman, brother. I love her company. I can see why you like her, but I think she is too smart to get married."
Anthony frowned and leaned back. "Who told you about my intentions?"
"We had a family meeting. You were not invited. I think mother likes her too. She was worried at first because Miss Sharma was curt to her when they first met. She came around when they talked today. Mother did not give voice to any of her opinions though because she said she wanted to make sure you do not change the sister again. Is it true that you told her Edwina is the one you will marry three days ago? She was surprised when Colin told us it was the elder Miss Sharma you were interested in. Colin approves of her by the way. He thinks she's the only one who will be able to manage you."
Anthony stared at her overwhelmed. "You had a family meeting without me?"
Eloise looked up at him and asked, "Don't you have family meetings without me?"
"No!" he replied with wide eyes, "But we should. Did you really bribe our footman yesterday to go to a printer's shop?"
Eloise became still and turned her gaze away from her brother. "I think mother is calling me." She started to walk away but Anthony held her in her place.
"Why did you go to that part of town?" he asked.
"You will never understand, brother."
Anthony sighed. Nothing could be more complicated than his situation. He definitely could understand everything and anything else. He wanted to forbid Eloise from going out just like he wanted to forbid Kate from riding that morning, but he knew that Eloise will not listen to him. It looked like no one in his life cared about what he thought. He was not even invited to family meetings! He was supposed to be the head of the family.
"Try me. I might surprise you."
Eloise hesitated but explained, "I wanted to find Whistledown and I knew that she was using that particular printer's shop."
Anthony could not believe what he was hearing. "You travelled all the way to that dangerous part of town, risking our whole family's reputation to find out about a gossip writer?" he whispered. He twitched, not able to control his anger.
"I wanted to meet her and discuss the rights of women. I have many suggestions for her, brother. I must make it known!"
Anthony stared at her. He couldn't let her go in this path. Not only could it lead to the family's ruin, it also would make Eloise miserable. He had seen that. She won't understand him if he explained this. He had to find another way.
"So, you want Whistledown to know your opinions. Why don't you write it? If you have something to say, write all your arguments down. Write it under a different name and give it to me. I'll get it published anonymously and distribute it to everyone. Lady Whistledown always seems to know what is going on. She will read your piece and decide if she wants to take her suggestions. If you want, you can publish regularly too, but keep it a secret, sister. Do not talk about this to anyone, including our family. Our family comes first. We have to protect our reputation."
Eloise looked at her brother's determined eyes and tried to stop her eyes tearing. That was not what she was expecting from him. She had been ready for angry outbursts and reprimands. She had not been ready for unconditional support. Imagine writing and publishing her own thoughts! She could feel excitement and anticipation run through her body. She had so much to say.
"Would you also bring me books and articles about the rights of women?"
"As long as you keep it a secret."
Eloise did not like the fact that she had to keep it a secret. She scrunched her face.
"Life is not always fair, sister. We will keep it a secret for now and then see what we can do." Anthony grumbled.
"You are my second most favorite brother. I will write my piece and give it to you as soon as I can."
Second? Life was truly not fair. Anthony looked up to see Kate looking at him with suspicion. He smiled and she turned away. She was looking absolutely beautiful in a glimmering, dark blue dress.
"I'll see if I can put in a good word for you. She likes me." Eloise told her brother. He looked away a bit embarrassed that his sister caught him staring. He saw Edwina near the refreshments table and excused himself. Before he could reach her, Kate came and stood before him. He took a deep breath. He had missed her scent.
"You promised to stay away from my sister!"
"Good evening, Miss Sharma. I told you I will stay away from her if I could accompany you in your morning rides. You didn't give me permission for that."
"You still followed me home. Don't think I didn't notice you, my lord."
"Let me just accompany you in your rides. We don't need to talk. Not a word."
"What's in it for you? Why are you doing this?"
"You won't understand." Anthony smiled sadly.
Kate narrowed her eyes. She did not like this at all. She knew he had some master plan, but she couldn't stop herself. If he wanted to play, she'll give him a challenge. "Fine. I'll see you at dawn at the place where we first met."
Anthony was taken back. He did not expect her to acquiesce so soon. He had to check, "You don't mean a duel, do you?"
Kate found that she liked the fact that the Viscount feared her. "You will stay away from my sister, won't you?"
At that moment, Anthony sympathized with Hastings a little. A little.
