Michelangelo pressed against the foggy windows as they leapt back into the circuits of time, staring at the coloured lights flashing by like thrown paint. He tried to put his hand outside to catch hold of some, forcing Bill and Ted to hold him back.
The booth leapt back into reality and hurtled down toward a mountain range. Masses of unforgiving stone reached up in turn, ready to smash them out of the sky. They all started to shout, only to miss the great projections and come down in a valley, where their landing was cushioned by thick plant growth.
As they clamoured outside, needle sharp grasses slashed at their feet and legs, and drove biting seeds even through material. Mountains surrounded them from all sides, their snowy peaks folding in on each other row upon jagged row. The massive upswells of stone and ground closed in as if they were being looked down upon from a giant amphitheatre. Hot summer sunlight ripened scattered masses of dark berries and slowly drank away the twisting river to expose the tree roots along the banks. Cranes in flight cast their shadows from high above, their spread wings enormous on their slim bodies. Deer watched them from the distance, more concerned with the clouds of musquitoes than with the strange intruders.
Ted gazed out at the natural grandeur, and commented "You know, there's not a whole lot out here. Where are we supposed to be, anyway?"
Bill double checked the phone book. "Uh... Lewis... Clark, the expedition to discover the American west."
"If Mr. Lewis Clark is the one who led the expedition, who's she?" Ted asked, pointed to a large group along the river.
They were too far away to overhear what they were talking about, but a woman indicated landmarks in the distance, and a chain of men repeated what she said back and forth to each other in great excitement. The men hung back in close discussion, organizing the corps stretched out in a long line behind them, as she walked ahead, impatient to be off and touch the land herself. She seemed the one who truly knew where they were going, and where they should be headed next. The men she left behind were dressed in what looked to have once been good clothes, now rotted and covered over with odd articles of leather. She looked noble in comparison, with her belt of blue beads sparkling in the light, and her leather dress and leggings doing a far better job of holding up against the elements.
"I dunno. Let's go ask her," Bill shut the phone book and headed out to catch up with the mysterious woman.
The others followed him close behind, using the path of trampled grass he left behind to avoid the worst of the seeds. Imhotep winced as grass blades as sharp as razors cut stripes along his bare legs.
"How's it going, Mrs. expedition guide?" Bill shouted as she came within hearing range.
She halted and looked back the way she'd come, but the men were still absorbed in their tasks. For a moment she seemed about to call out in alarm. Then something caught her attention that made her features soften and her body relax. She kept silent, and remained in place long enough for them get close. Once they came within reach, they saw the stiff pack she carried strapped to her back was actually a baby wrapped in a cradle board.
"Hey, little fella," Ted peeked at the tiny face showing, one that watched them in turn with dark, solemn eyes.
"Bill, and Ted."
"Sacagawea," She pronounced it with particular clearness, as if she were used to English speakers struggling with her name.
Though she spoke to the two boys as they greeted her, she was less interested in them and more interested in Elizabeth and Joanna. Her guarded expression wasn't enough to hide the loneliness in her eyes. Bill and Ted studied the rest of the expedition as they laboured to haul the canoes to the banks, sorting supplies and lying them out to dry. Aside from the princesses, there wasn't a single other woman in sight. Joanna and Elizabeth smiled back at Sacagawea reassuringly.
"Can you tell us where we are?" Bill waved a hand around, making a puzzled face to try to get his point across.
They didn't understand what she said in answer, but her confidence in naming the river and mountains was clear.
"You know something, Bill? All this time we thought Americans discovered the west, and it was actually the natives who found it for them. History is not what we were led to believe."
"In that case, let's bring her with us."
"Welcome to our craft, tawny damsel. She may be small and unchristened, but she has many a trick to her, and has carried us through a fine journey." Blackbeard took off his hat and gave her a sweeping bow.
Sacagawea walk all around the bright red phone booth, curious to find something so unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Joanna and Elizabeth drew her inside, and the rest crowded in around, careful not to crush her baby.
"Since you helped find America for us, how would you like to see the American future?" Bill grabbed the reciever.
