A/N: Happy Friday! I've had this general idea for a while and decided now was the perfect time to share, so I hope you enjoy!


"Jay. Jay!"

Hailey laughed at the pregnancy test in her hand and rushed to unlock the bathroom door.

"Jay!" she yelled while jumping onto the mattress where her husband was just beginning to wake up.

He startled awake and sat up quickly with a mumbled, "What?"

"Positive," she breathed and shakily held out the test so it was just a few inches from his face, "I'm positive. We're positive."

Jay blinked slowly then grabbed the blue and white piece of plastic from her hand.

"Positive," she repeated under her breath.

Jay stared at the digital screen showing the word Pregnant. He blinked again and wiped his face before turning toward his wife.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, "Finally."

And then he smiled. It wasn't just a 'my wife is gorgeous and sitting two feet away from me in only a t-shirt' smile. It was a 'we waited several long months for a positive pregnancy test and finally got it' smile.

In total, it was eleven months of counting dates on calendars and scheduled sex and pregnancy tests and stress. Yes, it was just under a year, but he was glad it was over.

"Oh my god," he breathed. He laughed and lunged forward to kiss her. Pushing her back on the pillows, his smile widened against her lips as he said, "It's positive."

"So positive," Hailey said, "It says right there that I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant."

"We're going to have a baby," Jay said with bright eyes. He then quickly sat up and bunched Hailey's shirt up so he could take in her still flat stomach. "Hi, baby," he whispered.

Hailey laughed and reached out to grab his hand. He smiled up at her and couldn't have imagined her more beautiful, though he knew it would eventually come.

He'd thought she was pretty the second he met her and she sassed that they'd just met in the back of his van.

She was beautiful the night she told him she was staying in Chicago because of him and then fell apart above him for the first time.

She was gorgeous on their wedding day and every day thereafter with that black band around her finger.

Now…now with a baby growing inside her and knowing she was going to be a mom…now she was stunning.

Her hair was fanned out in its loose curls on her pillow. Her cheeks flushed with excitement while her eyes were bright and filled with love. He truly didn't know how he'd gotten so lucky. He didn't just love this woman, he adored her. He'd lay his life down for her and for the baby they'd made together.

Their family was truly beginning and he could not have been more excited.

Trailing kisses down her neck, he tugged her shirt off of her so his lips could drag down her chest and trace along the waistband of the small shorts she wore to sleep.

"Hi there, little one," he whispered again while nudging his nose right under her navel, "I'm your dad, and I love you, buddy."

Hailey reached out to brush her fingers through his hair. She smiled down at him for a moment before closing her eyes at his soft kisses on her skin. She never wanted to get used to it, and she wasn't quite sure she would. Right now, his lips and the slight roughness of his facial hair caused butterflies to swirl in her belly. Eventually, she knew those butterflies would be caused by the little baby within her - the one Jay had officially dubbed his buddy.

Months before when they first decided on having this baby, she'd been nervous. Every night as they had undressed each other before working to get pregnant, the butterflies would begin. She had confidence that she'd be a good mom and that Jay would make a great dad, yet this was a big step and it felt natural to have nerves before stepping off that cliff. She hasn't expected it to be, but it was worse than the first time they'd slept together.

On that night, she was nervous for about five minutes before she let herself feel free and just focus on the moment. Jay's hands had roamed her body all night and at one point were all she could feel even with his face pressed into her throat. It was this wonderfully strange span of hours where she allowed all her fears that revolved around liking Jay disappear and become a determination to show him just how much she liked him. She hasn't worried about what he'd think of her body or any noise that might have slipped from her lips, all she felt was happiness and life.

About four months into their journey to become pregnant, the memory of that night faded away. Soon, it wasn't fun to have sex anymore. She thought Jay's hot breath against her ear was annoying and he told her that her heel was hurting his lower back when she'd dig into him. He also complained that she'd sit up too fast while she told him he didn't stay in long enough. Their arguments were trivial and targeted and led to many tears in their pillows.

They relaxed again at six months when they finally sat down and had an honest conversation about all that was bothering them. They both apologized for their behavior and vowed to return to having fun. It led to a weekend away in a hotel downtown for a mini staycation. They had both secretly hoped it would lead to a positive test, but when it didn't, those secrets fell away as they held onto each other for an hour before work crying at the damned test that said 'Not Pregnant.'

The tears weren't uncommon after that day - they became an almost daily occurrence; however, now they didn't feel alone when shedding them. They were on the same team again and encouraged and reassured each other instead of simply glaring and keeping things inside.

Now, there were tears again. These tears, though, were happy. They were more than happy actually, they were ecstatic.

While they had both expressed fears just the day before that maybe since it was taking so long something was wrong, this one test proved that something was right. Their future wasn't so dark anymore - it finally had a light.

"You're cool if I call our daughter 'buddy,' right?" Jay mumbled against her skin, "Just in case?"

Hailey laughed softly and gently scratched the top of his head again. "You can call our baby whatever you want," she said, "Boy or girl, short or tall, blonde or brunette, I do not care. We're having a baby."

"We're going to be parents," Jay added with a soft kiss to the center of her stomach. He then pushed himself up and crawled over her so her head was framed between his hands.

She smiled up at him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He chuckled while reaching back to pull her feet up higher just to then rock against her causing a moan to slip from her lips as her eyes fluttered close.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed before closing the short distance between them and kissing her slowly.

Hailey moaned again and draped her arms over his shoulders. Gently scratching her nails against the back of his neck, she pulled her lips barely an inch away to whisper, "I love you."

"So much," he finished, "I love you so much, Hailey." He kissed her again and slid his hand closer to her head so his thumb could brush against her cheek. "My partner, my best friend," he breathed, "My wife, and now the mother of my child. You're amazing, and I can't wait to be a parent with you."

Hailey blinked her eyes against the onslaught of tears that were forming and leaned her head up to kiss him again. "We did it," she whispered against his lips, "We're gonna have a kid and a Christmas card and it can be signed 'The Halsteads.'"

Jay laughed into the kiss then rested his forehead to hers and said, "Don't forget the stroller and the teddy bears and the swingset in the backyard."

"When are we gonna get a swingset if we don't even have a house?" Hailey asked with her fingers lightly trailing down his cheek.

Jay hummed and captured her lips in his again. After their slow kiss, he said, "Baby Number Two. That's when we can work on a house."

"So you're trusting that my body will survive the first round of childbirth?" Hailey asked while holding back a laugh. She traced her thumb along Jay's eyebrow and wondered if their child would have as many freckles as him.

"I trust you can survive anything life throws at you," Jay replied. His smile widened when Hailey's face lit up, and he silently hoped their son or daughter would have her eyes.

Hailey stared at Jay for a moment just taking all of him in: his wide smile, the glint of sunlight in his hair, the feeling of him pressed to her core, his hands still framing her face. He was going to be the father of her baby and she never ever wanted anything else in the world. Her dreams finally came true.

"Kiss me," she breathed, "Kiss me and don't stop. This is our morning. We did it and I want to celebrate."

"By doing it again?" Jay asked through a smirk.

Hailey rolled her eyes and laughed only for him to do as she asked and kiss her. He kissed her like it was the last chance he'd have to do so. He kissed her with more need and want than he'd ever had in the past because their past was just that - the past - this was their future and he could not be more ready.


"Jay. Jay!"

Hailey scrambled out of the surveillance van with Kim on her heels. People all around the street were screaming. She could hear Voight barking orders in her ear piece. With a lunge, she launched herself off the sidewalk and into the street right on top of Jay's body.

Kevin was already there ripping at Jay's vest and coat. He was grunting quietly and whispering, "Come on. Come on."

Jay laid there gasping for breath as a puddle of blood grew beneath him. His skin was growing whiter by the second as his hand twitched on the payment.

Hailey crawled quickly around Kevin and pressed her hands against the wound on his lower left stomach. She fought back tears with a quiet whine escaping her lips.

"You're fine, you're going to be fine," Kevin practically chanted as he used his winter gloves to hold in the blood from the bullet hole opposite Hailey.

They had all watched in horror as Jay had been shot once in the stomach and once in his chest. As if in slow motion, his face had contorted in pain before he crumbled in the middle of the street.

"Kev, what's happening?" Kim screamed from feet away where she was tending to a mother who'd been caught in the crossfire and received a stray bullet to her thigh.

"You stay with me, you understand?" Kevin now yelled at Jay, "Hold on a little longer."

"Kevin!" Kim screamed again.

But Hailey didn't hear his response. Everything became fuzzy in her ears and her stomach was boiling. She couldn't remember ever feeling this sick. She wasn't stupid and knew the situation wasn't good. Jay was slipping from her fingertips and there was nothing she could do.

Her hand slipped from the excess of blood causing her to jolt forward. She dared to look up at Jay's half-lidded eyes staring down at her and finally let out a sob.

She knew.

"Other guy's dead," Adam mumbled as he slid next to Hailey. He gave her one glance then took over pressing his hands into the bullet wound earning a quiet groan from Jay. "Sorry, buddy," he said, "Gonna get worse before it gets better, right?"

But it wasn't going to get better. Hailey knew it.

"Get him comfortable, Hailey," Kevin said quietly.

She tore her eyes from Jay's to look at Kevin only for her thoughts to be confirmed: Jay was dying and he knew it too.

She numbly nodded and moved up to his head. Gently lifting his head into her lap, she shakily brushed her bloody fingers through his hair and whispered, "I'm here. The baby's here. You're okay."

If Kevin and Adam were shocked at her second sentence, they only showed it through a quick glance up at her.

Maybe she imagined it, but Jay's pained expression softened just the slightest and his lips seemed to tilt up.

"Focus on us, okay?" she continued, "We're here for you. Me, the baby, Adam, Kevin, we're right here."

Jay nodded and gasped for breath. He groaned low under his breath and closed his eyes.

"No! No!" Hailey shook his shoulders and yelled, "Jay!"

"Fine," he slurred, "'M fine."

"Open your eyes," Hailey hissed, "Open them!"

He didn't answer her, though. Instead, paramedics were there pushing her to the side and lifting him onto a stretcher with Kevin and Adam's help.

Words like 'blood loss,' 'low pulse,' and 'slow heart rate' scared her as Kevin led her to the ambulance.

"Right behind you," he said while watching her climb into the back.

Hailey winced at the slam of the door before turning to look at Jay bloody, pale, and dying on the stretcher. She let out a soft sob again and was pushed onto the bench just as the car lurched forward.

She grabbed at his hand lying limp next to him and shakily pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

Hours before, he was kissing every single inch of her body before she returned the favor. Yes, his lips felt incredibly good trailing her warm skin, but she also had always loved teasing him and being the reason he fell apart especially if she really was sticking to just her lips.

She gripped his hand while thinking the memory over.

Had.

Loved.

He was dying. Even her subconscious knew.

"You're okay," she whispered, "I love you. I love you so much."

Jay made a quiet noise, but it was unintelligible and was just perhaps out of pain.

One of the paramedics quietly told the other they were going to start the pain meds and Hailey's heart sank as she watched Jay's face. Normally, he'd wince and go a little pale at any needle poking his skin; now, he didn't move and his skin was already as pale as it could be.

Past the static still filling her mind, she could hear the sirens blaring. She briefly wondered if Jay could hear them as well.

A tear dropped down her cheek so she used her friend hand to wipe her face. Sniffling, she glanced down at her other hand before carefully placing Jay's on her belly.

"Right here," she breathed, "The baby and I are here and we love you. You're okay."

His half-closed eyes flickered to hers one last time before closing for good. She didn't need to hear what the paramedics were saying to know: it happened. He was gone.

Years before, Will had to practically peel her off of the stretcher as Jay was brought into Med. They weren't even dating and yet she knew she couldn't lose him. He was much too important and good for the world to leave it. She had loved him and needed him alive.

Today, she walked alongside the stretcher still holding Jay's limp hand as he was brought inside. Tears were pouring down her face, but she allowed Will to lead her away once they reached the triage room. He was crying as well also without any words. They were defeated. Their worst fear had happened.

Hours later, Hailey was left alone in the hospital room with Jay's body. She was bent over in her chair with her forehead pressed to the mattress and his hand once again clenched in hers. They'd managed to revive him at some point - she wasn't sure when, it was all a blur - but he wouldn't wake up. Without oxygen for so long, she was given the job of determining his life support.

She knew what he'd want - what he needed - she just had a hard time actually doing it.

If she thought hard enough, she could still feel Jay alive above her that morning. She hadn't known it'd be their last kiss. Their last time. Their last morning together.

What a cruel joke with the baby within her who was about to grow up without a father.

Angry at the world, she stomped her foot and cried out again. Her throat and chest ached from all the sobbing she had done that day. Nothing felt fair.

Eventually, she shakily stood up and pressed one last kiss to Jay's forehead before reaching over toward a small power button.


Hailey woke with a start in her bed. Her left hand immediately shot out only to be met with a cool, untouched pillow. She groaned and dropped her head back to her own pillow.

The memory of quite possibly the worst day of her life was forever haunting her. She tried melatonin, tea, and yoga before bed, as well as therapy, but the nightmare always returned. Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, she sat up to reach for her phone.

Texting Jay always helped even when he didn't answer. She just needed to talk to him and tell him how she felt.

~ I love you ~

Closing her eyes, she held the phone to her chest and tried catching her breath.

However, just a second later, she heard a creek in the hallway and a soft beep.

Her eyes shot open and she scrambled out of bed. Throwing her bedroom door open, she saw a dark figure walking into her daughter's bedroom.

"Jay," she whispered, but there was no reply.

She rushed down the short hall and turned into the soft yellow nursery just as Jay was picking up their month-old baby girl.

"Jay," she repeated.

He glanced over at her and whispered, "Hey, sorry, I wanted to check on her and-"

He didn't finish for Hailey had quickly crossed the room and buried her face in his chest.

"Hey, hey," he gently soothed. Holding the baby to his right shoulder, he slipped his free hand down Hailey's hair and back. "I'm right here," he whispered, "You're okay."

She wrapped her arms around him and mumbled, "I had the nightmare again. About the day you were shot."

Jay let out a quiet sigh, but still led her over to the rocker. Sitting on the cushions, he easily held both his girls in his arms. "It was almost a year ago, Hailey, I'm safe. I'm alive," he said.

"Did you wear your vest today?" she countered under her breath.

"Everyday," Jay softly replied, "Especially after that day. If I hadn't worn it then, then…"

The truth of that dreaded day flashed through Hailey's mind. He had been shot twice. He had collapsed to the ground. He had broken two ribs.

But he hadn't died.

Jay survived the day they found out they were expecting little Charlotte Rae, but the thought that he might not have never left Hailey's mind. Every day thereafter, she was constantly thinking about how he could have died and how she could have become a single mother the exact same day that she became a mom. It would have been a sick twist of fate.

Her fear just grew in intensity when she was put on bed rest the last three weeks of her pregnancy. While she hadn't been going into the field with Jay, she'd still been at work with him and in the bullpen running numbers or watching cameras. Suddenly she was being kept in the dark and didn't know if her husband was alive or dead until he'd text her. Just two days before the baby was born, Trudy had called her, and she'd had a panic attack over just seeing the caller id because she thought Jay had been hurt. In reality, Trudy was calling to tell her she was coming over with a pizza for lunch.

The fear went away for the two weeks that Jay took off and stayed home with her after Charlie was born, but came back in full force when he returned to work. Tonight was clearly no different.

"Everyone's safe," Jay whispered as he gently rocked the three of them on the chair, "No one's hurt. No one is dead. We're all here in our home."

Hailey nodded and gripped his shirt. She could feel his badge pressing into her hip, but it was slightly comforting. Despite his job and the dangers it had, he was alive.

His heart was thumping beneath her cheek and their daughter was softly cooing under her hand. Her family really was right there. Her nightmare hadn't come true and never would. Everything was okay.


A/N: April Fools? Special thanks to Annie (anniesardors) for encouraging the angst of my dreams ;) I'll be back to my regularly scheduled programing on Monday with the occasional fluffy oneshot in the future. Until then, I hope you have a great weekend!

Let me know what you think?