Ephemeral
By Lizzie223
Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Sailor Moon or any affiliated movies, brands, or manga volumes.
"Am I not good enough?"
Usagi wanted to cry. Scream at the injustice of it all. She wanted to kiss him. To screw destiny for once and finally, finally, be happy with her life.
But she was never really normal, was she?
She was always Sailor Moon, Princess Serenity, it came first.
Always.
But when was she just Usagi?
She already knew the answer.
Then there was Mamoru.
He was different- not the prince her younger self thought he was.
She couldn't blame him, everything was different now.
Belatedly, she realized those idyllic days were over two years ago.
Usagi attempted to innocently smile at Seiya but it fell short, crumbling at the edges.
It seemed everything was falling apart at this point.
She couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't acknowledge the tears streaming down her cheeks.
That would be giving them clarity.
Giving this, clarity.
Her thin arms-she couldn't recall the last time she ate- curled themselves around her lithe form.
Admittedly, she didn't want to meet Seiya's eyes.
Coward.
She didn't rebuff the voice inside her.
It wasn't worth it- she already knew it was right.
A sudden gust of wind pushed her soaked sundress against her legs.
A tiny part of her wondered just how ugly she looked at that moment.
She sighed slightly.
She was such an idiot.
But that was her token item wasn't it?
Something she hid behind, or thought she hid behind.
The lines had blurred, and now-
Now, she really was just a clumsy, idiotic, weirdo.
That was all she was.
Her body swayed slightly as her limbs shook with unanswered emotions.
She was tired, she belatedly realized as a multitude of emotions flitted in and out of his blue eyes.
Every fiber of her being pleaded with her to jump in his arms and never let him go. To kiss him and hold him and forget about everything-
A choked laugh turned sob made its' way from her throat.
She had to let him go.
He deserved someone better.
He deserved a girl that was prettier, kinder- a girl that wasn't a useless coward.
Her arms tightened around her waist.
A girl that wasn't her, and would never get to be her.
She wanted it to be her.
But it couldn't be.
It would never be her.
Ever.
And that realization, although she subconsciously knew it- was harrowing.
If her destiny hadn't been hand picked for her, if she hadn't been forced into a role she didn't want to play-
They could have been together.
Lived happily.
Maybe that version of Usagi deserved Seiya.
Maybe she loved him the way he should be loved.
But this wasn't that life, she knew that.
She did!
Because, real life?
Usagi's lip bled as she evaded his gaze.
Real life wasn't fair.
Above them, the sky blitzed into an array of colors.
She didn't care to look.
"Usagi, please, am I not good enough? What do I need to change? What-"
The quaver to his voice broke her.
"You are good enough damn it!"
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she hunched forwards, her lungs seeming to cave in.
"Do you really think I chose my future? Do you really think I wanted this?!"
Her fingernails tore into her forearm, sparks of pain brushing the edges of her senses.
"If I had the choice to choose, if I had the freedom to decide who I want to be with for the rest of my life, I'd choose you!"
His body slackened with shock as she continued.
Cobalt met azure.
"Don't you get it, you idiot? I love you."
His eyes widened, emotions sliding in and out of his expression as the words tumbled out of her chapped lips.
"If I wasn't Sailor Moon, if I didn't have to be her, I'd choose you."
Her voice broke, body trembling as the fields roared around them.
"But I can't and it's not fair!"
She collapsed onto the ground, uncaring of the mud sliding across her knees as she covered her face.
"And even though I'm supposed to be with him, my thoughts are always about you!"
A pair of strong arms curled around her shoulders and slowly brought her fingers away from her face.
His concerned, dare she say it-loving? gaze met her vision and she threw herself into his arms, unabashedly sobbing into his shirt.
"Usagi.."
He trailed off for a moment as she hesitantly lifted her eyes to his.
His calloused, yet smooth fingers glanced her cheek as he brought her mouth closer to his.
The air between them was shared now, but she didn't mind.
"I love you too."
Their lips met and for a moment in time, they were happy.
Undeniably, irrevocably, happy.
Because both of them knew that after they released each other, they would adjust themselves, go home, and pretend it never happened.
But for now?
They were happy.
And that was all that mattered.
A/N: Yes, this is a Seiya/Usagi fic. Please don't hate me for that. I wanted to try going out of my usual ballpark for this one, so tell me what you think! To be honest, it broke my heart when Seiya asked her if she was good enough, so I think this was a little bit of a wish-fulfillment for me in terms of what I wanted to see happen. Anyways, I am currently working on Chapter 5 of As It Stands so keep on look out for that!
As always, thank you so much for reading, and I appreciate all of you!
-Lizzie
