Chapter 1: Throwing Shade/What's New, Puddy-tat?
When the last bell of the day rang, Class 1-A immediately headed to their respective locker rooms and changed into their costumes before heading towards the training grounds. All day long, in-between classes, they pondered and debated just who it was they were up against. None of them could call themselves cartoon experts, but given what they remembered seeing on the many reruns that aired on TV when they were kids, they knew they were in for some weird, borderline nonsensical shenanigans ahead. Eventually they arrived at the edge to the multi-environment training grounds, where the 'visiting team' from ACME Looniversity was already standing. The heroes-in-training were a bit gobsmacked by the variety of characters making up the visitors-a few humans aside, it was a veritable menagerie of funny animals, young and old, with the older ones (the staff and mentors, presumably) commiserating with their own teachers at U.A. As soon as Principal Nezu noticed the students' arrival, he gave a nod to the rest of the teaching staff indicating it was time to begin. Already, one teacher from each school was set up in a little announcer's booth off to the side.
"GOOOOOOD afternoon ladies, gentlemen, and dodos!" Hizashi 'Present Mic' Yamada greeted with a shout into his microphone, causing his co-host from the visiting school to wince. "Welcome to the first-ever inter-scholastic competition between U.A. High School and ACME Looniversity! I'm Present Mic, repping our boys and girls here at U.A."
"And I'm P-p-p-p-Porky Pig," the cartoony pig in the blue blazer and red bowtie said, a stutter in his speech. "Here on b-b-b-b-behalf of th-th-th-the students of ACME L-l-l-l-l-Looniversity."
"This is going to be one heck of a showdown! Heroes vs. toons, a matchup not even the most imaginative studio executive could come up with!" Present Mic said with enthusiasm. "It's everything every kid who got up on Saturday mornings and plopped down with a bowl of cereal in front of the TV could only dream of!"
"And for th-th-th-th-those of you w-w-w-w-worried about i-i-i-i-injuries," Porky added, "w-w-w-w-we have m-m-m-m-medical staff on st-st-st-st-at the ready." He pointed to the medical station that had been set up off to the side, manned by U.A.'s Recovery Girl and ACME Looniversity's Granny, who was wearing an old-fashioned nurse's cap.
While Present Mic and Porky went into brief detail over their respective schools, some of the students of Class 1-A took a moment to get acquainted with some of the ACME students, evidenced by Midoriya and Ochako 'Uravity' Uraraka chatting with a couple of rabbits.
"It's nice to meet you guys," Midoriya said, having introduced himself and Uraraka.
"Same here," the blue rabbit in the red shirt greeted while shaking Midoriya's hand. "I'm Buster Bunny."
"And I'm Babs Bunny," the pink rabbit with the purple bows, yellow t-shirt, and purple skirt greeted as well.
"No relation," they both said.
"Let's hope not," Uraraka said with a brief glance in our direction, "this is a kid-friendly story."
"By the way, I just noticed," Midoriya started to say, "you speak our language pretty well, considering it's probably your first time in Japan."
"Let's just say we're quick studies," Babs replied. "Especially considering our tutor's quite a bookworm." She pointed towards another member of the ACME faculty who, to both Midoriya and Uraraka's mutual astonishment, was a literal worm that wore a pair of glasses and a bowtie. The attention of all four students was then drawn to the Jumbotron screen as the first match was announced.
"Let's get this party started!" Present Mic beamed. "Are you ready?!"
Porky more calmly elaborated on the first match. "Our in-n-n-n-first match will b-b-b-b-b-be U.A.'s Fumi-k-k-k-kage T-t-t-t-Tokoyami vs. Sylv-v-v-vester and Furrb-b-b-ball."
-X-
Having been informed ahead of time, Fumikage 'Tsukuyomi' Tokoyami, he of the dark-plumed avian features, was currently stationed in one of the mock-up apartments in one of the pre-fabricated buildings in the 'urban' section of the training grounds. The goal of his match was simple: prevent his ACME Looniversity opponents from entering the room. A simple enough defensive match...that is, if he had any idea of what he would be up against. He was sitting on the floor, trying to focus as he meditated, not nearly noticing his 'familiar' (for lack of a better term), Dark Shadow, exiting his body as it looked around the room vigilantly. When Dark Shadow looked towards the window, a sudden movement caught his eye, leading to him shaking Tokoyami's shoulder.
"Hey, Tokoyami," the ebon ethereal being started to say, "I tawt I taw a puddy-tat."
Opening one eye, Tokoyami (ignoring the question of why Dark Shadow was talking like that for some reason) looked towards the window and, sure enough, spotted a small, blue-ish cat with a big notch in his right ear appearing for a fraction of a second, before he fell from view.
"You did," Tokoyami said, deciding to just play along with Dark Shadow for now, "you did tee a puddy-tat." He then stood up. "Dark Shadow, Black Abyss form."
Dark Shadow nodded, and the living shade merged with his partner, garbing him in something resembling armor.
Meanwhile, three floors down below the window, Furrball had just gotten off the trampoline he was using to observe Tokoyami and was informing his mentor Sylvester, a black-and-white-furred cat with a big red nose, of what he'd seen.
"You're thaying you thaw the biggest blackbird ever?" Sylvester attempted to clarify from Furrball's meowing. "Thufferin' thuccotash, I've got to thee that for mythelf!"
Furrball tried to tell Sylvester something further, only for the older cartoon cat to brush him off as he got onto the trampoline. "All right, kid, stand back and watch a pro at work..." With that, he began building momentum with each jump on the trampoline until he was able to reach the window...only to be met with the bottom end of Tokoyami's Black Abyss-encased fist, which he'd stuck out the window. Sylvester fell back down, seeing stars as a big bump appeared on his head.
Tokoyami turned around as he brought his arm back inside, only to hear the sounds of the trampoline going again. He looked at the window and found Sylvester bouncing back up and down, only now he was wearing a helmet from a medieval suit of armor for protection. On one of his bounces, Sylvester opened the visor of the helmet and taunted the U.A. student by sticking his tongue out. Humoring the cat, Tokoyami stood there while Dark Shadow covertly phased through the lower floors until he reached the ground level, where, with a pair of scissors, he proceeded to cut the taut cords holding the trampoline to its frame while Sylvester was still in the air. When Sylvester fell back down, Tokoyami listened until he heard a distinctive *CRASH* as the cat landed.
"Tsk, tsk," Tokoyami said while shaking his head as Dark Shadow returned to his side. "Poor old puddy-tat."
-X-
Moments later, Sylvester, having recovered, was pacing back-and-forth in front of the building's wall, trying to figure out a way to get into the room Tokoyami guarded.
"Me-" Furrball started to say, before Sylvester cut him off.
"I know, I know, don't even dare thay it," Sylvester said admonishingly. "We're dealin' with thomething pretty thrange, and we've gotta get around it thomehow."
Furrball sighed as he twisted his tail fur to wring out the saliva from his mentor's musings. Soon enough, lying on the ground next to the two cartoon cats was a mail-order box from ACME that was open. Sylvester, clad in some athletic-wear, had just finished reading from a book entitled ACME Parkour for Newbies, and closed the book before tossing it into Furrball's hands.
Sylvester got into a ready stance, and soon was running into the alley between the pre-fab buildings, until he built up enough momentum where he began bouncing up the sides of the walls, each leap taking him closer and closer to the window where Tokoyami kept vigilant. Just when he was about to reach the ledge the window opened out onto, Dark Shadow's hand dropped a banana peel onto it. Once Sylvester (a look of fear on his face) made contact with the peel, he slipped and fell back to the ground.
Inside the apartment, Tokoyami had open in his lap a volume titled ACME's Oldest Tricks in the Book, a satisfied grin on his and Dark Shadow's faces.
"You were right, Dark Shadow," Tokoyami complimented. "Against opponents like these, sometimes the old ways are more effective."
-X-
Sylvester was again pacing back-and-forth, to the point where he was leaving a trench in the ground. Furrball raised a paw to say something, but the older cat stopped him.
"Thee, that's the ithue with you youngsters," he said dismissively. "You don't listen well. If you'd keep your mouth thut for a moment, you'd thee I've got a perfect tholution." He grinned a scheming grin as he continued. "Bird-boy here's a hero-in-training, right?" Furrball nodded affirmatively. "Well, it'll be that which gets him. Watch..."
A minute later, another open ACME box lay on the ground near them, along with a smaller opened box labeled "ACME Japanese Schoolgirl Sailor Uniform". Sylvester had donned the getup in question, complete with a blonde, twin-tailed wig to complete the ensemble. He then took a breath, before screaming in a disguised, high-pitched voice:
"Help! Somebody help me! Oh, PLEASE help-!"
Before he could finish his sentence, Sylvester was suddenly surrounded by some of the more 'gung-ho' Class 1-A students, including Rikido 'Sugarman' Sato, Mezo 'Tentacole' Shoji, Yuga 'Can't Stop Twinkling' Aoyama, Denki 'Chargebolt' Kaminari, and Eijiro 'Red Riot' Kirishima. All of them immediately took the situation a little too seriously.
"Where's the danger?!"
"Let's get you out of here, lady!"
"No way! I'll get her out of here!"
"No, ME!"
"I've got this, come with me-!"
All five pulled Sylvester in nearly every direction, causing the wig to fall off of him. Upon seeing the toon cat in disguise, the five students glared at him, while he looked back with a sheepish grin.
"Heh-heh..." were the only words he got out before he was caught in that classic staple of cartoons termed by TVTropes as a 'big ball of violence'.
From where they were watching outside the training grounds, Midoriya and Uraraka winced and flinched a bit at the skirmish unfolding on the big screen.
"Does this happen a lot?" Uraraka asked Buster and Babs Bunny.
"Oh yeah," Babs replied with a nod.
"You just can't beat the classics," Buster said.
Back in the match area, once the superpowered beating was over, Sylvester crawled over to Furrball's side.
"M-Mmrow...?" Furrball asked.
"Yesh, I know, I know," Sylvester replied wearily, "everyone here's a thuperhero. Theesh..."
-X-
The trench Sylvester's pacing created had gotten so deep, Furrball needed to look over the edge of it in order to see him. He again tried to bring something up, only to be met with his mentor's outstretched hand telling him to stop.
"Hand me your phone, kid," Sylvester implored. After he received it, Sylvester opened up a digital manga reader app, clicked on the page for My Hero Academia, and began scrolling through chapters. After a short while, Furrball tried to get his attention again, only for Sylvester to again cut him off. "Yeah, yeah, I nothithed. Good thory, but who'd read a comic that's over 150 chapters long?" After stopping on one page in particular, his scheming grin returned. "Light, eh...?"
Moments later, Sylvester had a great number of lamps, lanterns, and flashlights strapped all over his body, and even had a disco ball hanging from a pole tied to his back. He approached the window to the room Tokoyami was in on a pair of tall stilts.
"Give it up, birdie!" Sylvester commanded. "Or I'll light this room up tho brightly you'll need thunglasses to blink!"
Tokoyami just stood there with his arms crossed, unfazed by the threat. "So you've found my weakness. It's true, Dark Shadow loses power under strong lighting..."
"That's right, tho you might ath well give up!" Sylvester taunted.
"I mean," Tokoyami continued, with a slight roll of his eyes, "he barely has enough strength to, oh, I don't know...disconnect wires and batteries?"
A look of worried surprise suddenly graced Sylvester's face. "Say what...?" He then looked behind himself, and saw Dark Shadow holding some cut wires and disconnected battery packs. Panicking, the cartoon cat tried flipping switches and pressing buttons to get some form of illumination going, just as Tokoyami cracked his knuckles.
A few seconds later, a pounding was heard as the stilts suddenly fell to the side, while Sylvester fell into the trench his pacing had dug deep. Dusting his hands off, Tokoyami was looking down at his handiwork when he felt someone tapping his shoulder. Upon turning around, he found to his surprise Furrball standing behind him, with the door to the room open. On a small monitor, "Match Over" flashed as a buzzer sounded.
-X-
"Match 1 is over!" Present Mic declared.
"P-p-p-p-p-Point goes to A-a-a-a-a-ACME Looniversity," Porky confirmed.
-X-
Down on the ground level, Tokoyami, Dark Shadow, and Furrball looked into the trench.
"Congratulations, Sylvester," Tokoyami offered. "Your protégé won the match for both of you."
The weary Sylvester, sitting upright, was confused. "How'd he even get up to the third floor anyway?"
"Mrrow," Furrball answered as he pointed to a door leading into the building that was only a few steps away from where they'd been positioned throughout the match.
Sylvester, dumbfounded, collapsed onto his back with a resigned sigh.
To be continued...
**Author's Note(s)**
FlimFlam3 was right, writing in Sylvester's unique speech pattern is kind of difficult. (As is Porky's, for that matter.)
The meeting between Deku and Uraraka and Buster and Babs features a joke lifted from the Animaniacs short "Noah's Lark", where the two rabbits cameoed.
Tokoyami and Dark Shadow's take on the classic 'I tawt I taw a puddy-tat' line comes from the 1953 Looney Tunes short "Catty Cornered", where it was uttered by the gangsters Rocky and Nick (replacing Mugsy, for some reason).
