Warnings: thoughts of self-hatred, cussing.


Overall, Kurt had settled in quite nicely in the weeks that followed.

It had been a little stressful; the classes were tougher and rules more strict, but there were no bullies other than a few stuck up guys who would give Kurt dirty looks or whisper about him. That he could handle. Most of the students there were well-mannered and quite nice, especially when he auditioned for and made the Warblers. All of them took him into the fold and he was treated well as a general rule.

Even though regular food barely tasted good to him anymore, the food there was better than most places he had been. Burt made a weekly trip halfway to Dalton and brought Kurt his main source of nourishment in little thermoses he stored in a mini fridge hidden in his closet. He hated having to drink the stuff, but unfortunately it was all that kept him alive at this point.

The sprawling campus was just as intimidating as when he had first arrived, but thankfully he had Blaine by his side to help him to navigate it. Blaine. That boy was a whole other issue.

They had settled into a routine. In the mornings, an hour before their first shared class of the day, Blaine would come pick Kurt up and they would go to breakfast with some of the other guys. Kurt noticed it was mostly Warblers that would hang around Blaine, but Jeff, Nick, Wes, and David especially were always around. Apparently Wes and David were in advanced classes because they always seemed to be busy with homework, so Kurt didn't get to talk to them all that much. They seemed nice enough though. Nick was pretty quiet, but Kurt finally got him to talk about his favorite shows and he was amicable enough. Jeff was by far the friendliest, a constant stream of jokes and stories, usually dedicated to embarrassing Blaine. He was very outgoing and often Kurt didn't have to do much talking when the blond was around. All the guys seemed to follow Blaine around like puppies, which Kurt honestly couldn't blame them for. Blaine was very charming and seemed to be a natural born leader.

After the morning classes, Kurt would meet up with Blaine and the others for lunch. It was usually a rushed affair, Wes or David shoving a laptop in Blaine's face as he tried to stuff food in his mouth. Kurt always assumed it was Warbler business, but he was usually pretty distracted by Nick and Jeff's antics to pay much attention.

Next came afternoon classes and then Warbler practice which was Kurt's second favorite part of the day. He missed the New Directions and all his friends there terribly, but being able to sing and dance with a group again allowed him to forget everything else.

Following Warbler practice, Kurt and Blaine would usually hang out either at a coffee shop or the park. This was Kurt's favorite part of the day, but also the worst since it was sweet torture. Although sometimes Jeff and Nick would tag along, most of the time it was only the two of them and Kurt would get so confused where he stood. A glance would slip down to his lips. A hug would last too long. Blaine would grab for his hand and hold it the entire night. But then just as quickly, Blaine would pull away or make sure Kurt knew they were best friends or mention he wanted him to be best man at his wedding someday. Just as Kurt's hopes would rise, they were slashed to ribbons and tossed into the gutter. Kurt would end the night alone on his room, hugging his pillow and shedding a few tears over Blaine Anderson.

But today would be different.

With a nervous smile, Kurt fidgeted in his seat and looked down at the cheesy Valentine's chocolates and pink stuffed bear that declared, "I think you're 'beary' cute!" that rested in his lap. Its creepy happy face stared up at him, covered in hearts and fake lip marks. He waited for Blaine at the coffee shop they frequented now that they didn't have to meet halfway at the Lima Bean. Blaine would be there any second and Kurt would declare his love for him. He suddenly felt sick. How had he let himself get talked into this? What if he was misreading things yet again and Blaine didn't like him back? He was so damn confusing!

It had been a little over a week ago when Kurt had been particularly depressed about everything: being a vampire, missing his family and friends, and heartsick over Blaine. That evening, he and Blaine had taken a walk through town window shopping and Blaine had slid his arm through Kurt's, an action that would have made his heart race if it still beat at all. The way Blaine smiled at him and leaned on him, Kurt was in heaven. Surely this meant something? But then he had run into another classmate from his old school and introduced Kurt as his best friend. Then after the boy's said their goodbyes, Blaine had nudged him with his elbow and said he thought the guy was flirting with Kurt.

If he hadn't already been dead, that would have ended Kurt Hummel right there. Death by unrequited love.

So, after parting ways with Blaine and back in his dorm room, Kurt had called his girls in a panic, bemoaning his lot in life. He couldn't tell them about his other problems, like how he hated being a vampire and having to consume blood, but because he was so upset over Blaine they didn't catch on to his other woes.

"You need a big gesture to show him how you feel!" Tina exclaimed. "He probably thinks that HE is in the friend zone, so that's why he says all those things! I'm sure he likes you back the way he acts around you!"

"I agree with Tina when she says you need a big gesture," Rachel put in. "I think you should sing him a song, right in front of everyone! I actually have a list of songs that would be perfect for someone with your range and cross organized by a public declaration of love. Ohhh! You should do it during Warbler practice! Better yet, I should come to give you moral support. And then I can stay and watch the Warbler practice. Purely for friendship reasons of course--"

"Rachel, that's the worst idea ever," Mercedes interrupted. "What if Blaine really doesn't feel the same way? That would be so awkward. Listen up boo, you need to do this in private just to cover your bases. I am hopeful he likes you too, but just in case, wait until you're alone."

"Just tell him how you feel!"

"Sing how you feel!"

"But be careful!"

All in all, the advice wasn't terrible and he did agree on one thing: that he needed to just tell Blaine straight out that he liked him. Hence why he was waiting for Blaine to arrive so he could give him this dumb bear and chocolates. Valentine's Day was Blaine's favorite holiday though, so he was attempting to be romantic. The boy loved cheesy stuff like this.

Speaking of, Blaine was strolling up to the door, making the butterflies in his stomach go into double time. Before he could stop himself, Kurt sighed at how handsome Blaine was in his Dalton blazer and tie, his hair tamed expertly, his smile rivaling sunshine, his cheek being kissed by another boy--

Kurt jerked up in his chair. WHY WAS BLAINE BEING KISSED ON THE CHEEK BY ANOTHER BOY???

The boy who looked to be about their age smiled at Blaine and then handed him a scrap of paper. Blaine took it, pocketed it and they chatted awhile. Kurt's hopes plummeted to the ground. It was a phone number. Blaine looked like he was having a great time talking to this super cute guy who had just kissed his cheek which Blaine was completely fine with obviously. Surely this wasn't his boyfriend? No, he didn't have a boyfriend. He would have told Kurt if he had a boyfriend. So, it was just a date then. A date. Kurt's heart no longer beat, but he felt something iced over in his chest. Blaine was going on a date with someone that wasn't him. Now he was thankful that he didn't declare his love in front of everyone. He would have looked like a fool. This whole thing was pointless because Blaine would never love him back. He couldn't imagine how awkward it would have been if he gave Blaine the presents he bought… The presents!

"Oh, my god…" Kurt looked down and grabbed the bear and chocolates and hastily stuffed them into his bag. Blaine was waving at the boy and coming through the doors just as he got the flap closed. After scanning the shop, Blaine's face lit up when he caught sight of Kurt and he hurried towards him.

"Hey! Hope you haven't been waiting long." Blaine smiled and hooked a thumb towards the counter. "I'll just go grab some coffee--"

"Right here," Kurt said. He tried to cool his face down (somehow even though his heart didn't pump, he could still blush. The unfairness of everything was astounding) as he gestured to a second cup beside his own.

"Of course you got me coffee," Blaine grinned as he dropped into the seat opposite Kurt. Then he sipped from the cup and moaned happily, making Kurt even more uncomfortable. The parts of him that took interest in Blaine's noises still worked just fine too. "And you know exactly how I like it." Blaine bit his lip and leaned forward. "Keep this up and I'll have to marry you."

Kurt laughed awkwardly and tried not to blush harder at that.

He's joking. He doesn't feel that way about you. He obviously likes other guys since he's off going on dates with people who aren't you and KISSING THEM.

"Kurt? Is everything okay?"

Blaine was searching his face with wide, golden eyes and a concerned frown.

Kurt swallowed hard. "Yeah! Of course! I was just thinking about what song we are going to sing for sectionals."

"Oh I may know something about that." Blaine took the bait and sat back in his seat, grinning smugly. "What would you give me if I told you?"

Kurt could think of a thousand things he would give Blaine or let Blaine give him all for free, but of course he couldn't say that.

"What would you like?" Kurt hedged.

Blaine stroked his chin in thought, which only made Kurt find him even more frustratingly adorable. His eyes lit up mischievously and his gaze slid down to Kurt's mouth. He licked his lips self-consciously and Blaine watched every swipe of his tongue. Blaine seemed transfixed for a moment, but suddenly seemed to snap out of it.

"How about your notes for History? I spaced out earlier."

Kurt was disappointed, but he didn't let it show. What was he expecting anyway? Blaine had made it obvious he didn't feel that way for Kurt.

"Deal."

"Oh hey," Blaine stopped him as he tried to dig his History notes out without Blaine seeing his embarrassing presents. "What were you wanting to talk about?"

"What?"

"You said to meet you here so we could talk." Blaine looked at him curiously.

"Oh, uh…" Kurt pulled his notebook free and hastily shoved the bag back under his seat. "Sectionals. Just, yeah. Sectionals. I need to be ready so I can get a solo!"

Something clouded Blaine's eyes, but he recovered quickly. "Of course! So, I was talking to Wes and David about that song…"


Darkness had swallowed the sun and the nearly full moon had risen to take its place, giving everything a strange, bright light. Blaine could feel it in his bones: The moon's pull for him to change. The breath of the tiny animals he startled as he bounded through the woods surrounding Dalton. The smell of the earth he churned up with his paws as he chased a moth into a small clearing.

Although it wasn't something he had to do, Blaine loved changing at night, especially when the moon was full or nearly full. There was a different energy in the air on those nights and the wolf inside craved it. He supposed it was because he was an alpha, but he knew many others felt the same way, so he couldn't be certain.

As he lost sight of the moth, Blaine turned his furry head, appreciating the beauty of the clearing. Wildflowers would bloom there soon when spring arrived and this section would be covered. Blaine sniffed the ground deeply, snuffling a few leaves and dirt out of the way. Yes, there would definitely be flowers. Oh! Maybe he could bring Kurt here! He would love all the flowers--

Blaine whined low in his throat and lay down on the ground, pouting. Today was Valentine's Day- his absolute FAVORITE holiday and all Kurt had given him was a cup of coffee, which wasn't really special since they bought each other coffee all the time. He scratched at the dirt a little and then lay his head on his front paws with another growly little whine. Life wasn't fair.

Truth be told, he had been in love with Kurt from the second he laid eyes on the boy. Granted, it had taken a few weeks to actually realize he was in love, but still. They became fast friends and now more. Or so Blaine had hoped. He thought for sure something would happen today. Kurt had been acting all weird lately, kind of how he did when he was getting bullied and changed schools, but this time Blaine had no idea why. He had been respectful before when Kurt was so emotionally vulnerable, but now that he was settling in at Dalton and happier, this made no sense. Blaine could totally go out with him now.

Except he technically couldn't. He had responsibilities and a duty, which is why he hadn't already declared his undying love for Kurt Elizabeth Hummel and kissed him senseless yet. Well, that and the worry that Kurt didn't like him that way. He was always so hard to read and even though his hearing was better than the average person, he couldn't track Kurt's heartbeat to see if he was having an effect on him. He threw hints out all the time, but still got nothing. It was so frustrating.

Of course, he hadn't ever had a close, gay best friend before, so he couldn't be sure that what they had was normal or not.

Blaine made another sad noise and rolled over to his back, gazing up at the moon. Maybe a good howl would relieve some stress…

"Oh my god, if you whine or sigh again, I'm going to bash my head into the nearest tree," Jeff moaned from where he was sitting nearby. He shook his blond fur out that was always a little shaggy like his hair and scratched his ear with a back leg.

Of course, Blaine couldn't mope in peace. Since Jeff was one of his bodyguards, he had to follow Blaine at all times. You would think he would show Blaine a little respect since he was going to be alpha one day, but no. Everyone was always so mean to him.

"You better get your pain killers ready then, because he's been in a mood all day," Nick said from his seat on the other side of Blaine. Unlike Jeff, Nick sat stoically, carefully eyeing the woods for immediate danger. He took his job as Blaine's other guard very seriously. "It's like he's allergic to using words."

"Why are you guys always such jerks," Blaine whined again as he rolled back over and shook out his curly fur. "I've had the worst Valentine's Day ever. My feelings are fragile at the moment."

"Ah, did your date suck?" Jeff asked.

"It was NOT a date! Stop calling it that!"

Jeff shrugged. "Seemed nice to me."

"It's not that Trevor wasn't nice, but I just don't like him that way. Plus, this plan is stupid."

Jeff chuckled. "You better not say that around Wes or you'll be in trouble. And I thought the guy's name was Thomas?"

Blaine huffed and stared moodily into the woods. "Trevor, Thomas, who cares. I'm not calling him."

"So why was it the worst Valentine's Day ever if he was nice?" Jeff asked.

"Because," Blaine said dramatically, throwing himself to the ground. "It just was. Now leave me alone."

"I had a pretty good day," Jeff smiled over at Nick. The other boy continued his vigil, but a corner of his mouth turned up, betraying his indifference.

Blaine had missed this entirely because now he was imagining Kurt trading presents with someone else and it made his ears slump against his head. "Good for you. Glad my terrible day was fun for you."

"I take it the date didn't go well," Wes said as he trotted up to the trio.

Blaine didn't get up from the ground, but lay listlessly. "It's not a date," he mumbled. "It was a business meeting."

Wes sighed and stared down at Blaine. "Fine. Business meeting. Anyway, how did it go?"

He was expressive as a human and that definitely carried over to when he was in wolf form. Wes could have sworn Blaine raised a furry eyebrow.

"I allowed him to walk with me on my way to meet Kurt. Trey was very friendly but-"

"Blaine! His name was Trent! Did you call him the wrong name again?" Wes groaned and hung his sleek head. His fur was a smooth, dark brown and it shone in the moonlight.

Blaine shrugged from his spot on the ground. "Don't know, don't care. I think these meetings are pointless anyway."

"Might I remind you," Wes ground out. "That one of these gentlemen could be your mate?"

"Nah."

"I'm sure the whole pack would love how flippant you are about finding someone to help you rule." Wes seethed. "Especially your father."

At that, Blaine's ear twitched and he sat up, resigned and duly chastised. He might not be taking this whole scheme to marry him off too seriously, but he was proud to be the future alpha. It was what he was born to do.

"I'm sorry, Wes. I know you and David work hard to find matches for me. I just want to fall in love, you know?"

Wes' glare softened. "Of course. We want that for you too, but you need to try harder with your suitors. You're not even giving them a chance."

Blaine could only think about lovely blue eyes, chestnut hair, and a snarky sense of humor when he thought of who he would like to be on a date with, but of course he couldn't say that to Wes. He just didn't get it. Blaine loved everything about Kurt, even the way he smelled. It was like no scent of anyone ever, like flowers and vanilla in the snow.

"Blaine?" Wes was staring at him curiously. "Blaine? Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course Wes. I'll be serious."

Wes looked doubtful, but he dropped it. Just then, David came bounding towards them in his own wolf form which was a dark, thick-furred wolf.

"Guys! Hey guys! I have done it! You know how I was having trouble with my spreadsheets? Well, I figured out a way to color code them! Isn't that genius?"

"Wow, David." Nick snickered at the wolf happily wagging its tail. "You've reached new levels of dorkdom."

"Hey! I worked hard on those spreadsheets!" David followed Nick as he padded back towards Dalton, yelling in indignation.

Wes sighed and beckoned Blaine with his head. "Come on, Blaine. It's late and you have another da-- I mean 'business meeting' tomorrow." He followed after the other two who were still tossing insults at each other as they headed back to their dorms.

Blaine stood and shook off his fur before he started to follow.

"Hey, Blaine?"

He stopped at the gentle way Jeff said his name, no trace of the teasing ring it held earlier.

"Yeah?"

"Was today bad because…" He seemed to be trying to pick his words carefully. He shuffled from paw to paw. "It's Kurt, isn't it? You like him?"

Blaine felt lightheaded and like his feet weighed a thousand pounds all at once. How did Jeff know? He was always so careful around them! He never actually came out and said he had a crush on Kurt! He was always so sneaky with the way he checked him out or flirted with him…

"It's just," Jeff shrugged. "I always see you checking him out and you are always flirting with him… it's just incredibly obvious, Blaine."

Well, now he felt like a moron…

Blaine didn't answer Jeff, which was answer enough for him apparently.

"It's okay to have a crush, you know? You can't help how you feel."

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I know that. Yeah, it's just a silly crush. It should be over soon when I meet the right guy. It's just, Kurt's amazing, you know? He's sweet and kind, loyal, funny… Oh! And he has a great sense of style! You probably don't know this because you've only seen him in uniform! And I mean, have you seen him? He's gorgeous! And he-- What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh no. You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Blaine scoffed. "No. Absolutely not! He's my best friend so of course I adore him and it's just a crush! You said it yourself!"

Jeff tilted his head in pity.

Blaine dropped his shoulders. "Am I that obvious?"

"Dude, we've grown up together. I know you. So yes, it's obvious. Plus, you're like an open book when it comes to your feelings."

"Am not."

Jeff jerked his chin towards Dalton and they slowly made their way back.

"So…" Jeff whispered.

"So what?"

"So, why were you upset about today? Did Kurt reject you?"

Blaine tossed his head. "Of course not! I didn't tell him my feelings."

"Why not?"

Blaine stopped and narrowed his eyes at Jeff. "I'm supposed to pick a mate from the pre-approved list, remember? I can't let everybody down."

Jeff nudged Blaine with his shoulder. "You won't. You'll be the best, most dramatic alpha we have ever had."

"Ha. Ha. Hilarious."

"Seriously, what happened with Kurt?" Jeff asked eagerly. He must have been watching too many rom coms again. "Come on, I'm your confidant now! Nick and I were too far away to see well and it was too noisy in the coffee shop to hear!"

"Nothing happened! That's the problem! It was a normal day doing normal things with Kurt my best friend." He whined again and got a push from Jeff. "Ow."

"Stop whining. So you've been bro-zoned."

Blaine groaned in despair. "Oh god, I have! Haven't I?"

"Sounds like it to me. But, what would you do if he did like you? It's not like you can do anything about it? Right?"

Blaine shrugged and found the little pile of his clothes at the edge of the woods. They both paused their conversation so they could shift back into their human forms and dress back to back.

"Okay, this might be totally crazy, but I could smell the pheromones rolling off of him. Pretty sure he's into you."

"Yup. You are crazy. There's no way. Right?"

"Who knows? Maybe he's thinking about you right now…"

"Doubtful. But one can always hope."


Kurt stared out at the moon and tried not to think about Blaine Anderson. Things had not gone how he planned today and he was just about to give up hope on this whole thing.

He turned over and stared at his ceiling, wondering what would have happened if he hadn't been a coward and actually told Blaine how he felt today. Maybe he would have felt the same way. Maybe he would have been surprised, but not against the idea. They could date and be boyfriends and kiss and--

Kurt's fangs shot out, stabbing him in the bottom of his jaw. He yelped in pain and closed his eyes, willing them to withdraw back into his head. This happened all the time when he lost control. Tears stung his eyes. If he couldn't keep himself in check when he was alone, how could he expect to do it when he was alone with Blaine? What if they were kissing and he just bit him? What if he lost control? He would never do anything to hurt Blaine, even if that meant keeping himself away from him.

It was times like these that Kurt wished he were just a normal human like Blaine. He wished that he and his mother had never been attacked, that she hadn't died defending him, and that he hadn't turned into the monster he was. He wondered what happened to the vampire that had attacked them. What if it was like him, just trying to keep control and it had lost it on Kurt and his mother? Did others feel the same way he did? That they were seconds away from snapping, like a stretched out rubber band? Like he didn't fit in his skin anymore?

A buzzing sounded, ripping him away from his dark thoughts and he hurried to find his phone. It was his dad. Something eased in his chest and he knew he had to keep fighting, if not for himself, for Burt Hummel. That man deserved the world.

"Hello?"

"Hey, kiddo. I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No," Kurt sat up and rubbed his throbbing lower jaw. "I was just doing homework," he lied.

"They make you boys do way too much," Burt grumbled.

A fond smile spread across Kurt's face. It was times like these when they were just chatting about normal things that Kurt loved. It kind of made him forget about what he was.

"How's your drink supply?"

And then he was suddenly reminded.

Kurt blew out a long breath. "It's fine, dad. I still have three left--"

"Only three? I need to get you some more!"

"Dad, don't do that. Please? If I don't drink it soon after you get it, it tastes just awful."

Burt was quiet on his end. Kurt could practically hear him doing mental math of how much to say. Kurt let his head smack back against the wall behind his headboard.

"Okay, but let me know when you get down to one. I'm talking as soon as you finish the second. I know it tastes bad, but I'd rather have that then…"

He trailed off and tears pricked his eyes again. He didn't have to ask what his dad meant. He knew he was a monster.

"I will, Dad. Promise."

Kurt wished they could talk about anything else besides his depravity. Literally anything.

"So, uh… How is everything else going? Any… Boys?"

Okay, maybe not this subject, but he would take the out.

"It's a boy's school, dad," he remarked dryly. "There's boys everywhere. I myself, am a boy in case you forgot."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, smart ass," Burt replied. This was better. This was normal; a father and gay son having an awkward moment about boys. "Are you… going steady with anyone?"

Kurt snorted at his father's archaic vocabulary. He might be fumbling and not know exactly how to be cool, but at least he was trying. His mind flashed to the coffee shop today and he eyed the stupid little bear he had thrown across the room in anger and the trash can that now held the chocolates. If only.

"No," he said wistfully. "No capital B boys. Despite being an all boy's school, I haven't met many gay guys and the ones I have are definitely not knocking down my door."

"You will," Burt said confidently, but relived. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Thanks dad. Why don't you tell me about your date with Carole?"

While his dad relayed all of the evening's events to his son, Kurt thought about how grateful he was for the woman. Even though his plan to somehow seduce Finn (the memory made him cringe now) had backfired, they had gotten her out of it and Kurt genuinely liked her. She seemed to really love Burt and he was glad someone was still there in Lima to keep an eye on him.

"Please tell me you didn't order the ribs, Dad. You know you're not supposed to be eating too much stuff like that and Carole would probably be disgusted if she saw you eat them." Kurt yawned loudly into his phone.

"I am not responding to that and you need to go to bed. It's getting late."

"Okay," Kurt conceded, even though the thought made him a little lonely and he technically didn't even need sleep. His dad seemed to like to pretend though. "Goodnight, Dad. I love you."

"Love you too. Call me as soon as you finish the second bottle. Not joking."

"Okay, okay. I will!"


As he hung up with his son, Burt let the relief settle into his shoulders. Kurt seemed to be doing well at this new school, even though he wasn't happy that he would be away from his only family. Burt didn't trust that Anderson kid completely either. He might be straight as a board, but he could recognize infatuation when he saw it and he remembered being that age. He wasn't thrilled with that little situation. He had a feeling Kurt liked the boy back, but so far had protested that they were only friends.

It was worrisome that Kurt was already so low on blood. These days, he seemed to be drinking more and more. Burt got expired blood from the hospital that would be destroyed. Carole was aware about Kurt, but they hadn't really discussed it in-depth because she was adamant that Kurt should be the one to tell her. In previous years, he had another friend at the hospital that got the expired blood for him, but when the friend retired, Carole had stepped in to help him out. She was a wonderful woman.

Things hadn't always been as simple for Kurt and Burt.

After Burt discovered what his son had become following his wife's death, he had to step out of his comfort zone and dive into research for his son. From the sparse knowledge that was out there, he figured out what to feed him, helped him learn how to hide his fangs, and a million other little things. He knew he was lacking in a lot of this, but he did the best he could and he did it with love for his son.

Burt stood with a groan and made his way to bed. He had gotten another call from them today. He would have to answer them soon, he supposed. Although, Kurt was his business, not theirs. He was doing just fine, besides a few minor setbacks. He would handle whatever it was they wanted as it came, just like he always did with his son's best interests at heart. It was all he knew how to do.

He just hoped it was enough, because as the days passed, the light seemed to be dimming from Kurt's eyes. It just had to be enough…


Sooo, what do we think? Love it? Hate it? Let us know your thoughts! - A and K