(Edit- 04/16/2022- Fixed a typo in the fic. Working on Chapter 52 today! Thank you to everyone who reviewed it! It gives me much-needed motivation to keep working on such a long fic! ^.^)
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Chapter Fifty-One:
The next morning Charles was in the blackbird, those who were taking this trip were seated around the jet. Magneto silently sat beside him, strapped into the chair, which kept him from moving as he was lost in his own memories. He fought the urge to go into his friend's mind as his concerns for him only grew.
Logan was stationed at the helm of the blackbird, piloting the jet; their heading, Southern California. Ororo was seated in the row parallel to Charles'. He didn't need to look over at her to hear the rustling of the book she was enjoying as she periodically turned the page every few minutes. It was a long flight from New York to California, after all.
Lastly, Rogue was in the row behind him and to his right. She had a blanket pulled up and over her shoulders. Her head rested awkwardly against a pillow she had prompted up on the seat, as she softly snored.
Apparently, she had spent her evening first talking Magneto out of immediately going to California, on his own, to collect his daughter (the time difference between the two states playing a predominant part in her argument) and then most of the night keeping an eye on him as the flashbacks had become relentless.
Magneto had insisted she come to California with them and Rogue had informed him she wasn't going to school that day regardless.
'I can sleep here or on the ride, your call,' she had said. One look from Magnus and he had conceded. It was evident he was going to have to pick and choose his battles with them- if he wanted to keep the peace.
Charles glanced over at his friend as he asked, "are the Dane's even aware we're on our way?" He tried snapping his fingers in front of the man's face.
"No response?" Ororo asked.
"He's in and out," he sighed.
"Rogue said to expect that," Logan said.
"Perhaps, this was too soon after regaining his memories," she commented.
"Yeah, Rogue said that too," he grunted.
"He just became aware of the existence of a child he knew nothing about. I understand his urgency," he said as he felt a twinge of pain in his chest. Something about the situation felt familiar, but he couldn't recall having a similar experience. He shook his head at himself and shrugged off the strange sensation as empathy for his friend's predicament.
"Oh," she said as her expression became sympathetic. "Of course, Charles," she gave him a sad smile before turning back to her book.
'She shouldn't have kept this from him,' he thought bitterly. 'No, no, she wasn't,' he thought immediately as he attempted to repress his resentment towards Rogue. He took a deep breath but found he couldn't shake his feelings toward her. 'She's been trying to tell him, attempting to help him remember, but it hasn't worked until now. Magnus said it himself, he was glad I wasn't involved. Both of them said it wouldn't have ended well,' he thought. He took a deep breath as he attempted to calm his mind.
He was having little success.
Why was he struggling with this? Why couldn't he accept that Magnus didn't want his help?
'She's a child. The same as Jean,' he thought as he felt his chest tighten.
He recalled Rogue's words and the look of genuine doubt on Jean's face at Rogue's accusation. His heart began to race at the thought that he failed her in some way, in any way.
'Maybe I should have told her about the vision I received from Apolcaplyse,' he thought as he held the bridge of his nose with his fingers. 'No, no, all that would've accomplished is further strengthening Jean's fears. I've done enough damage, in that regard, already,' he thought before his eyes snapped open as he felt his heart skip a beat.
He had failed her- his student- the girl he had watched grow up from a troubled fourteen-year-old who could barely control her powers to the confident young adult who had taken charge and was passing on her knowledge to the next class of students. Her growth, her evolution, it was beautiful, awe-inspiring, everything he could hope for in a student.
And he had failed her.
"Hey," a voice called out behind him. He glanced around to see Rogue, staring at him with an inquisitive expression- the blanket now rested on her lap. When had she woken up? She was asleep mere moments ago. "You okay?" she asked.
"Yes, of course," he said as pleasantly as he could, as an errant bead of sweat rolled down his face. He blinked before rubbing his hand over his head and surprisingly found his hand soaked. Had he been sweating that much? It wasn't hot on the jet. What could have caused it?
"Charles, are you alright?" Ororo said, looking up from her book, concern on her face as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.
"Yes, yes," he said slightly embarrassed as he rubbed his hand clean, soon followed by his head.
"Are you certain?" Ororo asked.
"I was lost in thought," he explained.
"About Jean? And what we talked about yesterday?" Rogue asked.
"Yes," he answered, a note of bitterness to his tone.
"What about her?" Ororo asked- as she was, no doubt, attempting to understand the situation.
"Jean's afraid of her powers," Rogue said.
"That will improve with time," she offered with a stein nod.
"Yes, it will," Rogue agreed, before she made eye contact with him. "Look, I know I've been pretty hard on you the last week or so," she said. He stared at her, surprised by the admission.
"Yes, I'd say, you have been," he said.
"I just- I really can't stand the whole holier than thou thing you tend to do," she said as he felt his eyes narrow. "Like you can do no wrong," she said. "You're human, Charles, just like the rest of us, which means you can make mistakes and that's okay," she said. Charles opened his mouth to object but Ororo spoke first.
"I don't agree with how you stated that, Rogue. However, I do agree with the sentiment itself," she said before looking at him again. "Sometimes, Charles, you are far too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful teacher and have built a welcoming home for all of the students. You hold yourself to such a high standard. What you have done, what you continue to do, is more than enough," she said.
"But I've failed Jean," he said, aloud for the first time and he felt his chest tighten once again.
"In what way?" she asked confused.
"Should you have telepathically imprinted your fears onto Jean, no, 'course not," Rogue said. Charles watched Ororo's eyes widen in disbelief. He returned her questioning gaze, with one of shame- an admission of guilt. "But there's still time to fix it."
Rogue's tone was far kinder than it had been in recent days. In all honesty, it was catching him off guard.
"Both of us can help her overcome her fear," she continued. "But you have to accept that you made a mistake. That you caused her harm, as unintentional as it was. There's no way to move forward without that," she said.
"I can try," he said, deeply troubled.
"I mean, that's what being human is all about, right? Growing, changing, accepting yourself for all of yourself, flaws and all. You don't have to be perfect. Lord knows, I ain't," she said.
"None of us are. None of us have to be," Ororo added.
"Yup," he heard Logan add from the front.
"Exactly, you just have to strive to do the best ya can with what you've got. Flaws and all," she said repeating herself. "Just try and remember that Charles, okay?" she asked.
He found himself stunned into silence and was only able to nod in response.
"Wise words from someone so young," Ororo commented. Rogue let out a soft chuckle at that.
"What can I say? I'm an old soul," she smiled before he heard Logan let out an amused grunt. "Y'all mind waking me up, once we get closer? Think I'm gonna try and get a little more sleep," she said.
"Go ahead," Logan called out from the front.
"Thanks," she responded before she let out a yawn and closed her eyes, once again resting her head against the pillow as she pulled the blanket up and over her shoulders.
He turned back to his thoughts, having much to consider.
Wanda sat with her daughter and her brother in the living room of the brotherhood manor. T.J. was laying on the floor. Her father's laptop was in front of her, as she typed on the device, completing the homework that Rogue had mocked up for her the night before.
Her brother sat next to her on the couch, a book in his hands. As she, attempting to set a good example for her daughter, was holding her copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and trying to make it through the extremely boring book.
She and her brother had collectively decided to play hooky from school. Neither of them felt comfortable leaving T.J. alone all day. And Rogue had stated, last night before they'd left the institute, that it would take some time before they could acquire T.J. identification. It would be a while before she could go to school as well.
Wanda glanced down at T.J. as she heard the typing stop and a few clicks of the mouse.
"So, it's just a laptop. It really can't go on the internet," she said, her voice in utter disbelief.
"We don't have dial-up," Pietro answered dryly, for the third time.
"That's so weird. How do you watch videos?" she asked turning up to look at them. She and Pietro shared a glance with each other before they both looked over that the television. She let out a sigh at that. "Or listen to music?" she asked.
"I have a CD player upstairs, but I don't think you'll know any of the bands," she answered.
"Sage used to download music for me to my tablet- it was so easy. Oh, is Dazzler around yet?" she asked.
"Yeah, I don't know who that is," Pietro said as she shook her head. T.J. left out an annoyed groan. "Didn't Rogue give you homework? he asked knowingly.
"I did most of it," T.J. wined.
"What's left?" she asked.
"I'm supposed to write a diary entry about my feelings about coming to the past. And then I have to translate it into all the languages I'm studying. But I don't have my dictionaries so I don't even know if I can do that," she sighed.
"Just do the best you can," Wanda said.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's all Rogue's expecting," Pietro added.
"Okay," she sighed before she turned back to the laptop. She and Pietro shared another glance before they turned back to their books.
'Okay, where was I?' she asked herself as she searched for where she had left off.
"Oh, oh, oh, oh," she said sitting up, crossing her legs under her, an excited look on her face. "The Beatles," she exclaimed.
"What are the Beatles?" she asked.
"Mom, seriously," T.J. said. "They're rock and roll legends. How can you not know who the Beatles are," she exclaimed.
"Wait, wait, wait," Pietro laughed, closing his book and putting it down on the arm of the couch. "You actually like that ancient band?" he asked, highly amused, leaning forward to engage with T.J.
"They're amazing," she said over-excited. "Can we listen to them? Please?" she asked as she sprung to her feet. "Mom, you gotta listen to them with me. Can we please get some of their music? Where do you go to get music in two-thousand-and-three?" she asked as her voice increased in pitch and volume with each question.
"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll go to the music store," Pietro said.
"There's a store just for music?" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, more than one," he answered. Wanda watched her face light up.
"I wanna go," she said quietly. "Oh my god, I have to go. Seriously. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," she chanted under her breath. "Can we go? Please, please, please," she begged.
"I can ask Lance if we can borrow his jeep after school," Wanda offered.
"Yes," she exclaimed.
"Hey, do you still have Dad's credit card?" Pietro asked.
"Yeah, he never asked for it back yesterday," she answered.
"And if he says yes, we can get ice cream on the way home," he added. A huge grin appeared on T.J.'s face as an excited squee left her. Wanda couldn't help but smile in response and she heard her brother softy chuckle.
"Now, finish your homework, okay?" Wanda asked.
"Yes, mom," she said happily. She and Pietro shared a smile before finally turning back to their books.
She just hoped that Rogue could get T.J's IDs sooner, rather than later. There were only so many days they were going to be able to skip school. If T.J. was in school herself that would solve her childcare problems. Oh god, why did she have childcare problems?
She kept herself from visibly sighing and tried instead to return to reading.
"Dad and Rogue are going to have their hands full with Lorna for a few days, maybe a week. We should talk to Kurt about taking turns until things settle down," Pietro said. She glanced up at her brother surprised. Apparently, he had been thinking the same thing. "It would help," he added.
"Yeah, I'll bring it up, next time I see him," she said. He nodded before turning back to his book.
Jean sat next to Beast on the couch in sublevel seven, staring up at the large list of files on the screen. Beast was sitting to her right, a wireless keyboard on his lap and a wireless mouse resting on the square arm of the couch atop a mouse pad. It was a lot to take in. The private investigators, why the Professor hasn't left the institute in weeks. Even now, sitting this far down in the sublevels, she felt uneasy. Her telepathy wasn't as strong as the Professors. She couldn't sense above ground from this down here.
'It won't matter until after school. I just have to complete psychic scans of the grounds, every half-hour, starting at one-thirty. I can handle that,' she told herself. 'We'll move the training session inside today, just in case. Everything will be fine.'
"I don't get it," Scott said from behind her. He was far too agitated to sit. "Why didn't we know about this?" he asked. Taking in all the names on the screen, all the times the students had been in danger of being recorded without their consent, she found herself thinking the same thing.
"I believe Charles didn't wish to cause a panic," Beast replied.
"Maybe there should've been," she muttered to herself. "The Professor shouldn't have shouldered this burden alone. I could've helped," she exclaimed. "Doesn't he trust us by now?" she asked, doubting herself once again.
"I'm sure he does," Beast said kindly. "I believe, he didn't wish to burden you," he said.
"But we're instructors now," Scott added. "We should have been helping you. I mean- come on. Why hide this from us? I thought we were past secrets," he said.
"How long is he going to treat us like kids?" she asked sadly.
"Age, I do abhor thee, youth, I do adore thee," Beast said. Both she and Scott turned to look at him. "Shakespeare," he added. "Try as they might, teachers do not always handle their students' transition from adolescence to adulthood with as much grace or as swiftly as one might like. All I would ask is that you show Charles patience. Remember, this change does not only affect you but him as well," he said.
"Maybe... Maybe, we should start calling him by his first name," Jean suggested thoughtfully.
"You mean like Rogue is?" Scott asked in disbelief, with mild disgust in his voice. "I can't believe the way she was talking to him yesterday," he said.
"Rogue didn't lower her voice or speak apologetically when offering her critique. Her tone was less than ideal. However, I will say, she was speaking to him as an equal. And if she's correct about your perception of your powers, Jean. Perhaps it's something that should have been said, sooner," he said.
"I know she's right," Jean sighed. "The Professor knows she right. That's why he could barely look at me this morning," she said. "Maybe, calling him Charles would help him see us as adults," she said.
"You two are certainly welcome to call me, Hank, if that's of any help," he said.
"Thanks,… Hank," Jean said with a half-smile. Saying it felt awkward, but she would get past it. It was time.
"I need some air," Scott said.
"Scott," she called out as she watched him march out of the room.
"It's not always an easy transition for the student either," Hank pointed out. "Give him time," he said with a smile. Jean felt herself let out a sigh before nodding.
Kitty stood in front of her locker, as she finished putting her lunch of fresh fruit into her backpack. She closed her locker, and threw her backpack over her shoulder, just in time to listen to the fifth-period school bell ring. With Rogue absent, she had lost her usual lunch partner. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with her time. Maybe, catch up on homework? The cafeteria wasn't an option. Not by herself, at least. Too many students, all staring at her, like she was some kind of exhibit. She could go outside, maybe, and sit at one of the tables out there. Fresh air sounded nice and she was less likely to be bothered if she went outside.
As she was debating what to do, she spotted Kurt and Amanda, walking down the hall.
"Hey," she called out as she jogged to catch up with them. As her pace synced with their's she noticed the expressions on both of their faces. It seemed neither of them were having a good day. "What's up? Do you, like, have a free period?" she asked.
"I'm supposed to be in study hall, but I can't concentrate. Neither can Kurt," Amanda said.
"I was thinking about going outside for some air," Kitty said.
"That sounds good," she replied. "Kurt?" she asked.
"I don't care. Whatever you want," he said dismissively. She and Amanda shared a glance. The stress was clearly getting to him. She gave Amanda a sympathetic shrug, which she returned.
"Have you seen Wanda?" he asked suddenly.
"Lance said she and Pietro stayed home today, because of, well, you know," she said.
"That makes sense," Amanda said.
"I'm such an idiot," he exclaimed as she lightly slapped his palm against his forehead. "I didn't talk to her last night. I should've talked to her," Kurt reprimanded himself as they walked down the hallway towards the side exit.
"Yeah, 'cause this is a, totally, normal situation. That you should, like, totally be able to handle, right?" she giggled. Amanda let out a soft laugh at her tone and she managed to get Kurt to smile. "Would you give yourself a break, Kurt?" she asked.
"That's what I keep telling him," Amanda said.
She just heard Kurt let out a long sigh as he pushed the side door open and they exited the building.
"I'm going to the brotherhood manor after school. You can, totally, take the ride with us and talk to Wanda then," she offered.
"Thanks, Kitty," he said as they found a free table. They all took a moment to seat at the table. Amanda and Kurt sat next to each other and she sat across from them. She reached into her backpack and pulled out the bag of fruit.
"Fruit?" she asked, pulling out one of her extra apples and offering it to Amanda with a smile.
"I can't take you lunch," she exclaimed.
"Don't worry about it. Rogue gets stressed out and forgets to pack hers sometimes. I guess now I know why," she realized quietly to herself. She shook her head and turned her attention back to Amanda. "I have extra, here," she offered again.
"Thanks," she said as she took the apple. Kitty reached back in and handed Kurt one as well.
"So, are you okay?" Kitty asked, turning her attention to Amanda before taking a bite. "Is your mom still being weird?" she asked after she had swallowed. The other girl nodded sadly. "Did she say anything?" she asked.
"Kinda," she answered with a shrug before taking a bite. "She's talking under her breath when I'm in the room. It feels- I don't know- passive-aggressive, maybe," she said.
"Can you, like, make out anything she's saying?" she asked.
"It sounds like gibberish to me, but I think it's French. The look on her face, it's so intense. Even my dad noticed it. He said he'll try talking to her and that I should give her space for a few more days."
"Then you should totally have to hang out with us after school," she offered.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I can go to the library. I don't want to be in the way," she said nervously.
"You won't be, I promise," she said.
"Are you sure?" she asked. Kitty smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Okay, thanks," she smiled.
Magneto's eye snapped open with a start and he found he was sitting on the blackbird. He raked a hand through his hair as he gained his bearings after coming out of the last batch of flashbacks. All of them had been of Lorna, Rogue, and the family they had formed. The years they had spent raising her together. Always the three of them- in all things.
His heart ached. The longing for his family was profound.
He stood up, giving Charles a silent nod as he passed him, and made his way over to his wife. Storm had glanced up from her book for a brief moment, before returning to it- choosing to pay him no mind. He was grateful as he placed a hand on Rogue's shoulder and shook her slightly. Her eyes fluttered open and a smile graced her face when she saw it was him. With a pleasant groan, she sat up straight allowing him to move past her to take the window seat. Within a few short moments, both of their limbs were on the armrest between them. Their fingers entwined as she placed her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to place a kiss on her forehead and a happy sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes once more.
He felt Charles' eyes on him. One look at his old friend and he saw the pain in his gaze and yes, he was quite certain he saw envy there as well. He turned away to glance out the window. He couldn't be bothered to feel concerned over his friend's incorrect interpretation of their relationship. Rogue wished to keep a full understanding of the situation from him. She had said her reasons were valid and he would remember himself given enough time. He was obliged to side with his wife on the matter.
He watched the clouds pass at rapid speed as he stewed on all he had learned in the past few days.
His obsession with Rogue now made perfect sense. It was not a teenager he was lusting after. It was the memories of his wife calling to him, begging him to remember who he was- twisted into dark urges by a lack of understanding of his feelings and where they truly stemmed from.
He felt- regret wasn't nearly strong enough of a word.
He turned back to look down at his wife. She must have felt him move his head as her eyes opened to glance up at him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he uttered, fighting to keep his voice low. The word felt inadequate, but it was all he could offer.
"Shh," she hushed him, as her left hand came up to rest on his cheek. "None of that," she said. Her eyes flashed to his lips and they both knew how she wished to comfort him, if only they were alone. "You did not remember me. You could not remember me," she said switching to French, granting them some form of privacy.
"The stalking," he whispered-switching to French in kind.
"Gave me hope, in a strange way, because I knew you were still fighting in there," she said, her fingers brushing against his temple, "trying to make your way back to me and you have. You finally have," she said, tears forming in the ducts of her eyes. He leaned down and settled for resting his forehead against hers, both of their eyes closing.
"I am sorry I left you alone for so long," he said.
"It was not your fault. It was bad timing. Now, try to get some real sleep. We still have a couple of hours on this flight. We should use them," she ordered.
"Very well," he agreed before her hand slipped off of his face. She reached down, grasping the edge of the blanket, and offered it to him. He shifted the fabric until it was covering both of their shoulders. Once she was settled against him, he leaned his head against hers and finally closed his eyes.
Mercifully, sleep soon followed.
Wolverine pushed a few buttons on the Blackbird's console as he finished landing the jet in Franklin Canyon Park.
"Rogue," he heard Ororo say as he reviewed the console and ensured the cloaking was turned on. "We are here," she said as he heard Rogue let out a soft groan as she woke up. He unclasped the seatbelt, stood up, and turned to look at every one. Ororo was still sitting, her book in her lap. Charles looked very pale for some reason- wore out like he needed some sleep. Magneto was folding the blanket he and Rogue had shared as Rogue stretched her arms above her head- letting out a long yawn as she fully woke up.
"So, here's the deal," Logan said as he watched everyone turn their attention towards him. "We're about a half-hour drive from Santa Monica. The park is pretty remote, the cloaking should do most of the heavy lifting to keep us off of anyone's radar. The only downside is someone's gonna have to stay put since we can't turn the jet off," he said crossing his arms over his chest.
"We assumed this would be the case," Ororo said.
"Thank you for giving up your day," Magneto said.
"We really appreciate it, Ororo," Rogue added.
"Of course," she said.
"I believe, to be safe, at least two of us should remain," Charles said.
"Thanks for volunteering," Rogue said with a sly smirk. Magneto let out a short chuckle as she headed towards the back of the jet.
"If you'd prefer, Logan, we could go by ourselves," he offered. He had some questions for the time traveler and this was his first opportunity to speak with Rogue alone since learning the truth.
"No, I'm driving," he said as he walked forward.
"Very well," Magneto acquiesced with a nod.
"But," Charles objected.
"Chuck," he said, looking down at the surprisingly pale man. "You ain't looking too good," he pointed out.
"Perhaps, it is your turn to rest," Ororo said. Logan watched his eyes dart back and forth between himself and Ororo. Slowly his expression become resigned.
"Alright, alright," he sighed. Magneto gestured towards the back with his head and Logan gave him a stern nod.
Okay- calling it here for this chapter! Every POV character had a part in one chapter! Woo! Hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know your thoughts!
Speaking of which:
Kirogue: THANK YOU! I love your analysis. You're right she did not have PTSD before time traveling. We will get to why eventually. :) And yeah, seeing Charles have to hold back is great! Having to see him accept anyone else as an actual leader to mutant-kind is usually satisfying. I'm so glad you liked the twist with Lorna. I've been building up to it for a while! Thank you and I hope you liked this chapter too!
AbraxasDane: THANK YOU! So many compliments. Thank you for the kind words! I was having a little writer's block and your review helped me get out of it. Thank you! I have so much plot and I've put in so much foreshadowing. It's so fun actually pulling the trigger on a major plot point and I've started to with this chapter as well. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it. :) Yeah, Charles is a total prat currently. He really needs to accept that he's not perfect and allow himself to be a flawed human being. He and Rogue are never going to be able to get along until he does so. Lol :)
