Before we begin, I just wanted to tell that I've been having some issues with characters saying someone's else (like with using -san, -kun, -chan, etc. at the end), but here's the thing: Some characters say somebody's named completely DIFFERNTLY at times on many occasions; therefore, I've decided to use their FIRST saying of someone's name. Okay? Good...
Enjoy
*SLIDE*
"Hello?" Tohru called out as she as she slid the front door open...but nobody was there. He looked around until...
"Hey, you!" he called to a nearby tree. "I can see you hand."
"Who, me?" A boy from behind the tree slowly peeked his head out; he had short brown hair, a yellow long shirt, white pants, and an orange cat on his back. "Uh, h-hello...um...My name is Sohma Kazuya...and I...I...I was wondering if Kyomi lives in this house..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kyomi-san can't come to the door right now. He's busy fighting with Soh—"
"*GASP* You mean she's actually here?"
"Well, yes, but—"
"KYOMI-CHAN!" Just then, Kazuya rushed past the Sohma housekeeper and into the house.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..." Kyomi's mouth was continuously being stuffed with leek by Yukari.
"Yukari-chan, I don't think Kyomi-chan can breathe with you holding her nose and stuffing her mouth," said Shizuka.
*SLIDE*
"Kyomi-chan!" Kazuya cried as she entered the room...followed shortly after by Tohru.
"K-Kazuya!" exclaimed Kyomi.
"I-I've...I've been looking all over for you...for four months! Why didn't you tell me you were here...I...I..."
*BAM*
*BOOM*
"I MISSED YOU!" Kazuya screamed as he suddenly punched the Sohma punk in the face through the outside door. "YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK, YOU BITCH!" he screamed as he suddenly grabbed her by the ankle while she was still in midair.
*SPIN*
Then Kazuya began spinning Kyomi around in the air.
"*SIGH* And we JUST got brand new door," sighed Yukari.
"I kinda used to everyone breaking my house by this point," groaned Shizuka.
"Uh," began Tohru in confusion, "isn't anybody gonna—"
"Don't worry. She ALWAYS expresses her love to Kyomi-san with violence...like when they were little kids."
"Yeah, but...he seemed WAY different a few minutes earlier."
"She gets violent when she becomes too emotional...especially when it comes to Kyomi. He may not LOOK like it, but he's actually two years older than Kyomi and I."
"And he's part of the Zodiac," explained Shizuka.
"Really?! Which year?"
"I think you can tell by her behavior."
Confused, Tohru watch...
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM*
...as Kazuya continuously punched Kyomi in the face.
*THUD*
The orange-haired punk finally fell to the ground...bruised and battered.
"*GASP* OH, MY GOD! KYOMI-CHAN!" Kazuya quickly consoled her victim's body in tears and concern. "WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO YOU!?"
"YOU know who..." said Shizuka.
"ACHOO!" Tohru sneezed as she felt the cold breeze blow through the backyard door.
"I'm sorry," said Kazuya sadly. "I was just so happy to see Kyomi-chan again that I forgot to hold back my enthusiasm."
"Huh? Now, he's just like when I first met him."
"But YOU should've told me where you were, Kyomi-san," Kazuya yelled back at the orange-haired punk. "You haven't even called in four months after you disappeared!"
"Why the hell SHOULD I?" asked Kyomi angrily.
"Because you're my fiancée."
"SAY WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!"
"Since we were little, you said you'd marry me."
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE THREATENING ME!"
"Y...You don't WANT to...? Marrying another animal spirit is the best attempt at happiness. And the best part is...WE CAN'T TRANSFORM WHEN WE HUG EACH OTHER!" Kazuya suddenly hugged the Sohma punk. "See? I can even hug Yuka-chan!" Then he hugged the silver-haired girl.
"Wait a second, how come you haven't transformed?" asked Tohru.
"I don't know, but there are two more males of the Zodiac," Yukari explained as she pushed her hugger away by the face, "and them hugging us hasn't triggered our transformation neither."
"Two more boys?"
"Wanna know their years?" asked the eldest Sohma.
"...Nah, I wanna solve the mystery myself."
"Anyways, things NEVER go well for us Sohmas when we marry normal people of the opposite sex! Right, Shii-chan!"
"You DO have a good point," said Shizuka. "It WOULD be difficult for us to have normal jobs, and every time somebody holds us would be an even BIGGER problem for...unless we were g—"
*SMACK*
"—rude," Yukari concluded right after smacking Shizuka's face when her bowl.
"TELL ME, KYOMI-SAN: DO YOU REALLY LIKE ME, OR NOT!" Kyomi's "fiancée" screamed. "I MEAN...I LOVE YOU! MORE THAT LIFE ITSELF! I'LL COOK FOR YOU EVERYDAY! AND EVEN IF YOU TRY TO CHEAT ON ME—OR EVEN SEXUALLY ABUSE ME—I'D STILL LOVE YOU! NOBODY ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE ME! DON'T YOU THINK THAT WAY! TELL ME! NOW! GODDAMMIT!" As Kazuya's screaming got louder and louder, Kyomi tried to back away until she ended up in a corner, unable to escape and making a terrified face of a victim who was about to be raped...especially when Kazuya began madly shaking her.
"Heh heh heh heh! Looks like Kyomi becomes paranoid when it comes to boys., "but I'm sure Tohru-chan still likes her too..."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" the Sohma boy screamed at Tohru's face. "You're a goddamn love rival to me?!"
"Me?" the housekeeper panicked. "W-Well, I—"
"Well, BRING IT ON! YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME! So, Tohru-chan, what the hell do you like about Kyomi-chan? I like her good AND bad points. And even when she transforms into her TRUE form, I'll—MRPH..."
"Shut up!" Kyomi hissed as she grabbed his mouth to silence him. "One more uncalled word...and you're a deadman..."
"'True form'! WHAT 'true form'?" thought Tohru.
*BAM*
"'DEADMAN'?!" Kazuya screamed as she suddenly punched the Sohma punk out into the pond.
*SPLASH*
"WOW! Kazuya-san, that is some amazing cooking!" admired Tohru later that night.
"But I think it's too much food for just five people," claimed Yukari.
"And the fridge is empty," said Shizuka.
"I'm sorry, I guess I got carried away because I saw SO excited to feed Kyomi-chan!" said Kazuya. "I'll go get her!"
"No, let me do it," said Tohru. "Where is she?"
"She went up after finishing the doors," explained the silver-haired girl, "But she hasn't come down since."
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Kyomi-chan, dinner's ready!" Tohru announced right outside Kyomi's room.
*RATTLE* *TAP*
Just then, there was noise coming from the roof. Tohru climbed a ladder to the rooftop and found an orange-haired punk laying on the roof. "Kyomi-chan, what are you doing up here. Dinner's ready."
"*GROAN* Not hungry," Kyomi groaned.
"But Kazuya-san worked very hard to make it. He said she wanted to please you."
"He's nothing but a crazy asshole. Always talking about getting married...and shit...ugh! What's wrong with him! He's annoying!"
"That's not entirely true! I think it's a blessing to have someone who actually cares and worries about you. Having somebody out there who cares about me, even if we're far apart, is very reassuring. I think it's amazing that somebody actually loves you so much. And I think that you, like every other girl, has a dream of one day being married."
"Yeah. Sure, it is," said the Sohma punk sarcastically.
"Are you dreaming about beating Sohma-chan? I heard you've been training in the mountains because of that."
"Huh? Let me guess: Shizuka told you, didn't she?"
"I bet training was pretty hard since you were alone."
"I WASN'T alone, I had a martial arts teacher to train me." Kyomi stood up and proudly held out her fist. "And not even the rat-bitch stood a chance against him. In fact, he's a Sohma as well, but he understood me, and he taught me everything I know since...well, he DID hit harder than my father ever could've, and it was ALL worth it! Every day, I kept waiting to see what he was gonna teach me next! And THAT got me pumped up every single goddamn day!" But then, she sat back down in embarrassment. "Aw, what am I saying?! It's embarrassing for girls to talk about violence and martial arts!"
"OH, NO! That's great of you to tell me that! It's not embarrassing at all! Sure, some people have a hard time not falling asleep when I talk about physics, but that doesn't mean they're completely uninterested. I think girls talking about martial arts is VERY interesting! I might even know some martial arts like...THIS!"
*JAB*
The Sohma housekeeper nervously jabbed at the orange-haired punk's left arm.
"*SCOFF* That was shit," Kyomi laughed warmly. "Alright, I think I'm ready to eat now."
"Aw, I'm really gonna miss you, Kyomi-chan!" Kazuya cried as he hugged Kyomi (with his hands on her breasts). "But I'll come back and visit, so be well, please."
"Look, I'll be just fine! Now PLEASE move your hands, you goddamn pervert!" the orange-haired punk yelled.
"Well, they're certainly in high spirits this morning," thought Tohru.
"So, did you ever figure out what Kazuya is?" Shizuka asked her.
"FINE! THEN I WON'T GIVE YOU A GOODBYE KISS!" Kazuya angrily swung his fist at his "fiancée"...
*BLOCK*
...but Kyomi easily blocked the attack. "Hah!" she laughed. "Did you really think I'd let you—"
*BAM*
But Kazuya suddenly punched her in the gut, sending her into the TV.
*BOOM*
"*SNIFF* Kyomi-chan is a real bitch!" Kazuya cried before punching through the front door...
*BAM*
"BUT I STILL LOVE HER!"
*BUMP*
*POOF*
Just then, Kyomi rushed outside and pushed away the newspaper deliverywoman that Kazuya accidentally bumped into.
"Uh, s-sorry about that," said a familiar voice on the ground. "I...I didn't know the newspaper deliverer would be outside the door—let alone an actual WOMAN."
Tohru looked down and saw Kazuya's animal form. "HEY! I just figured it out! Kazuya-san's the Boar! It all makes sense now: You were always running single-mindedly towards your goals...just like an actual Boar. And come to think of it, I get why you love Kyomi-chan so much! I wanna be just like you!"
"OINK?! KYOMI-SAN, YOU CHEATING BITCH!" the Boar screamed right before kicking Kyomi in the face.
*BAM*
"N-N-N-N-NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL!" cried Kyomi.
"Kazuya, I thought you said you'd love Kyomi even if she was having an affair," reminded the elder Shizuka.
"DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T PUNISH HER!" Kazuya screamed.
"NO! WAIT! That's not what I meant! I meant that I wanted to become SOMEONE like you...who can see all the great things about the people you love.
"L-Like me...?" the Boar whispered.
*POOF*
"THAT'S GREAT!" she screamed after transforming back into a naked human being.
The next day at school, Tohru was checking out some books when...
"Excuse me, Honda Tohru?" began a teacher. "There's a phone call for you at the main office."
"Hello? Oh, grandpa, what's up? WHAT?!" Tohru dropped her books near the end of the phone conversation. "I've been getting the wrong idea this while time. I knew I'd have to leave after my living situation was resolved...but somehow, I've been fooling myself into thinking we could be family..."
End
Later
