Lexi waved goodbye, swung her locker closed, and jumped when Rue was suddenly on the other side.

"Jesus, Rue," Lexi said while clutching her chest, "don't you know you can't sneak up on a girl like that?"

Rue tossed a smile towards her friend. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Her eyes roamed the length of the hallway, scanning the throng of students rushing for the front door to bask in the freedom of the weekend.

"What's going on?" Lexi inquired when she took note of Rue's divided attention.

"I saw you talking to Elliot," Rue answered. Her gaze found Lexi again. "Did he say something annoying? Do you need me to beat him up? Because I could absolutely take him."

Elliot, leaning against the wall next to Lexi a minute earlier, had vanished amongst the herd, but Rue's resentment for him remained as strong as ever.

"I'm sure you could," Lexi placated. She reached out to pat Rue's shoulder. "But no, what he said was not annoying."

"Mmm…"

"He stopped by to say that he enjoyed the play. It apparently made him feel better about himself for being the new kid around here."

Most of the school had escaped the building by then, so the two girls began their own trek to the exit without the fear of being trampled.

"Well," Rue reasoned, "I'm sure the way he said it was obnoxious."

Lexi grinned despite the contempt in Rue's comment. "Is this still a reaction to him taking part in the telling of your mom about the relapsing and the drugs?"

"No," Rue scoffed.

"Rue."

"Yeah, yeah, okay. It's about him being a fucking snitch. Especially considering he also does drugs. It's not like he's a perfect angel."

"Do you want to dissect these feelings now or at a later point in time?"

"Later. Definitely later."

"Okay." Then, Lexi added, "Hey, maybe he can't save himself so he decided to save you instead."

There was a beat in which Lexi attempted to keep a straight face and Rue tried to deduce how serious Lexi was being before they both broke out into deep laughter.

"That was maybe the cheesiest thing ever," Rue said between breaths.

"It was," Lexi agreed. She observed the grin Rue was wearing, the brightness that shone in her eyes, and Lexi was flooded with a sense of warmth. It bloomed in her chest and radiated through every inch of her body.

It didn't take long for Rue to notice. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

They stopped walking so they could face one another. Between them existed that pull – one that told all of their cells in their bodies to stop fighting what their instincts told them and to eclipse the short distance.

But they didn't.

"Like…that," Rue eventually responded with an indiscernible gesture.

Lexi hesitated, unsure of how to express her thoughts and questioning whether she should even voice them at all. "I just…sobriety looks really good on you, Rue." As soon as she said it, she felt her cheeks color with blush. It seemed too vulnerable a statement, too simple to convey every emotion Lexi was truly feeling.

Rue opened her mouth but quickly snapped it shut upon realizing she failed to have a coherent answer. "I—"

"Sorry, sorry," Lexi went on, shaking her head, "I don't know why I said that. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's true. You've looked better these last weeks than I've seen you look in a long time. But that was also probably a really cheesy thing to say, so, like—"

"Lexi," Rue cut in, "you're starting to ramble."

"Yeah, I noticed. Sorry."

"As usual, you never have to apologize for being yourself. I happen to love your rambling," Rue told Lexi with a smile. She finally had somewhat of a hold on what was going on in her mind. "I don't think it was cheesy, and even if it was, I don't care. It means a lot. Every nice thing you say to me means more than I could ever tell you."

"I guess I do have the awkward, rambling-but-still-well-intentioned thing down pretty good," Lexi said as she nodded at her own admission.

"You do," Rue assured her.

"Thank you. Even if you're pretty much the only person who ever lets me display that skillset." Lexi grinned, eliciting a flutter in Rue's pulse.

"Keep being this charming and I'm gonna forget the reason I came to your locker in the first place."

"Oh?" Lexi wondered. "And what was that reason?"

"I'm failing English." The deadpan-nature in which the statement came out made Rue want to kick herself.

"Ah."

"My bad for ruining the mood," Rue said, "especially on a Friday afternoon when we're so close to the door that gets us out of this fucking building. But, in all honesty, my motivation for tracking you down on this delightful day is because I am, in fact, failing English, and I was maybe wondering if you, being the smartest person I know, would perhaps help me out."

"And here I was thinking you just enjoyed having me around," Lexi replied.

Rue shrugged. "Eh, I guess that's a possibility too."

Lexi gave her a gentle shove. "Watch it, Bennett."

"Fine, you caught me. I enjoy both your company and your intelligence," Rue allowed through a smile.

"That's better," Lexi approved. She tilted her head in contemplation. "Anyway, how are you failing English? It's your best subject."

"Is it though?" Rue asked skeptically. "Remember that whole conversation about me thinking Oklahoma! was a play we might read in class? Pretty sure that speaks to where I'm at."

"A mistake anyone could make, really," Lexi tried to justify, but she couldn't completely choke back a giggle.

"You're too kind to me."

"Okay, but seriously, you used to be great at English. What happened?"

"Drugs mostly," Rue said in explanation.

"Right," Lexi conceded and sighed.

"It also probably doesn't help that I only attend class every three days or something like that."

"That certainly doesn't help."

"So," Rue dragged the word out. She adopted her best pleading look, accompanied by soft, imploring eyes. "What do you say, Lex? Can you find it in that wonderful heart of yours to tutor me?"

Lexi rolled her eyes. "As if I'd ever say no."

Rue gave a shout of triumph and grabbed Lexi's arm. "Thank fuck. You're the best. Thank you."

"All in a day's work. We should get started, though, so let's go." Lexi resumed walking towards the school's entrance.

"Wait, what?" Rue hastened to catch up. "Why should we get started right now? On a Friday?"

"Because of that test we have on Monday?"

"Right, right, right," Rue nodded, feigning comprehension. "Of course. The test. On Monday. The test that is on…remind me what our test is on again?"

"Emily Dickinson," Lexi supplied.

They pushed through the doors into the warm afternoon sun. There wasn't a cloud in sight and the sky was an expanse of blue.

"Sure, Emily Dickinson," Rue said as they descended the steps. "Love her."

Lexi, however, didn't even pretend to play along. "She was a poet. I think you might actually like her."

"Did she do drugs?"

"No, but she was depressed and hardly left her house."

It was Rue's turn to shove Lexi. "Fuck you. That was uncalled for." She made to flick Lexi, but she dodged out of reach with a laugh.

"It's not a criticism! Emily Dickinson was known for being dark and sad and kind of twisted, but she managed to channel all of that into her writing. Now she's arguably the most well-known American poet."

"Are you saying I should write poetry?" Rue inquired.

Lexi halted and turned to Rue. "You told me about the shit you're left with from the absolute hell you've been through and how you don't know what to do with it. I'm saying you have options. I'm saying it might not be poetry that can help you out, but it could be something similar – something that lets you have an outpouring of emotions with no physical repercussions involved. I am saying that just because you have all of this shit now doesn't mean it's going to be that way forever."

She hadn't fully known where she was going with the declaration when starting, was merely stringing words together as she went, but was nonetheless relatively pleased with how it sounded.

Lexi tended to shy away from thinking about "forever" and what it entailed. It wasn't that she couldn't conjure up what the future looked like; it was more that she didn't want to. A fear of the unknown, an anxiety about all the conceivable failure the world held, struck Lexi numb whenever she toed the edge of envisioning where she'd be in ten years.

That fear and anxiety were relieved to a degree when Lexi integrated Rue into her hazy predictions. The future and "forever" appeared a lot more bearable if Rue was by her side.

More than anything else, though, Lexi meant what she said. She needed Rue to know, regardless of the past, it didn't always have to continue that way.

In the middle of the playground back on a random day in 3rd grade, Lexi Howard was not too young to understand that Rue Bennett deserved every good thing in life, and settled into the resolution that she would remind Rue of that every day if that's what it took.

Rue chewed on her lip as she thought about Lexi's words.

Since her dad fell ill, any notion that included long-term approaches were simply unfathomable in Rue's mind. The future, let alone "forever", were concepts she couldn't process. They weren't bright horizons brimming with endless possibilities; they were swallowed up by a dark abyss that didn't allow Rue to envision anything beyond her teenage years.

"Forever" both sounded and felt differently when Lexi said it. It morphed into an image Rue could start to picture, even if it was just an outline.

"If the whole playwright thing ever goes south, you really should try your hand at being a therapist," Rue said after a minute.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny."

"Thank you. I know I've said that a million times recently, and I'll probably say it two million more, but thank you."

"Always around to help," Lexi answered. She tugged on the sleeve of Rue's shirt then picked up her pace. "Come on. We have a lot of work to do before the test."

"So, this bitch was really in love with her sister-in-law?"

They occupied space in the middle of the park down the road from school. Lexi sat cross-legged on top of a picnic table with the textbook open beside her, while Rue paced back and forth in front of her, trying to drill pieces of information into her head with every step.

The time since Friday afternoon had been packed full of reading and scrutinizing and memorizing, then the same thing all over again once Rue had demonstrated proficiency with a poem. Now, as the test loomed ever closer – 18 hours, if an exact timetable was desired – Lexi and Rue were attempting to squeeze every piece of knowledge they could out of the last session.

"Rue, you don't have to refer to everyone we talk about as 'this bitch'," Lexi said with a sigh.

"Sorry. So, she was really in love with her sister-in-law?"

"Yes. Well, I guess we technically still have to chalk it up to speculation because it's a deduction made through her writing, but it's pretty obvious. And, to be fair, they were friends first. She wasn't a homewrecker on anything. She just…loved Sue from afar."

"Maybe she shouldn't have."

"Shouldn't have what? Loved Sue?" Lexi asked.

Rue stopped in place and stared. "Loved Sue from afar."

"Would it have been better for her to not love Sue at all? Shove her feelings down and pretend they didn't exist?"

"Maybe." It was said half-heartedly, and Rue couldn't even convince herself she believed it.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know," Rue shrugged, "I guess I'm of the mindset that when you, like, genuinely love someone, you should be able to love them thoroughly and unconditionally and intimately."

"Well," Lexi intoned, "I agree with you, but I'm not sure their circumstances or the time they were living in made it any easier for them. If it helps, it was reciprocated – Sue loved Emily too. They just couldn't exactly go anywhere with it."

"Fuck circumstances."

"You're not wrong—"

"I know, I know," Rue interjected. "I get circumstances aren't always in people's favor, and I know they were living in a much different time. I'm just…sad for them. For what they could have been but were robbed of. I wish they could've loved each other. Really loved each other."

"They loved each other to the best of their abilities, in every way they knew how. Every day they knew each other," Lexi assured her.

"Do you think it was enough?"

"For them? More than enough."

"Good. I'm glad." Rue cocked her head to the side. "How can you be so certain?"

Lexi tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Oh, that little detail Emily told me herself. We talk all the time." She cleared her throat before going on, "I didn't know you were such a romantic."

"I'm not. I think everyone deserves to love someone who loves them right back. That's all."

Their eyes, as they tended to do since the rekindling of their relationship, found one another's and remained locked there. This time, there wasn't only the compelling pull each girl had come to expect when seeing the other.

This time, there was a tremendous shift in their respective worlds. In the midst of it, something fell swiftly into place. Something intangible, something beyond comprehension which was waiting in the corner of their hearts, waiting for its emergence, its moment to finally be noticed.

Unconsciously, Rue took a step forward, but Lexi shook her head, as though trying to clear her thoughts.

"Right, well," she said, higher pitched than normal, "I don't think the test will ask about Emily Dickinson's love life. Let's go back to the poem we were talking about."

"Lexi…" Rue's own voice was oddly detached.

"You remember it? The poem?"

"Uh, yeah, kind of. She has a funeral in her brain, she begins to lose her mind, then something about falling down, down, down." Rue turned her attention to her hands, twisting them around in front of her.

"Right. Good." Lexi inhaled deeply, then released it. "We were on the last stanza where, as you said, the speaker tells us 'a Plank in Reason, broke, / And I dropped down, and down – '" She trailed off; the routine they had fallen into during the study sessions saw Lexi read a portion of a poem, then Rue sort through it in interpretation.

"I don't get it," Rue said, scrunching her face in deep thought.

Lexi took her time responding. She studied the Sunday evening sky, thousands of sentiments clamoring behind her lips and none of them seeming effective enough. "You ever feel like the very ground you're walking on suddenly just opens up – without warning, without explanation – and all you can do is fall? Into nothing and nowhere. Just…down." Her gaze found Rue again. Needed to find Rue again. In doing so, she stumbled upon the stupefying realization she had no desire to look at anyone but the girl standing in front of her.

"Yeah, every fucking day of my life."

"That's what's going on here. And the poem stops almost unexpectedly; there's no concrete ending."

"So, what?" Rue returned Lexi's stare. It was one, she recognized, she could look at for the rest of her days and be completely content. "The speaker lady is still falling when it ends?"

Lexi nodded. "Exactly. I think we're supposed to take it as the speaker never finds her way out of the void she's fallen into. As long as the poem exists, she'll never find solid ground again."

"That's depressing as shit," Rue commented. She ran a hand through her hair.

"'Depressing as shit' is basically Emily Dickinson's calling card, so that tracks."

"Jesus, how the hell am I going to remember all of this tomorrow?" Rue let out a groan, then perked up. "Hey, you have English earlier in the day than I do. Any chance you wanna skip your period and sit in on mine so I can look off your paper?"

A wide smile grew on Lexi's face. "No chance in hell." She stretched her legs out and stood up, leaving no more than a foot between her and Rue. "Hey," she said softly, "you're gonna do great. We've been at this since Friday – you know the stuff. Now it's just believing you know the stuff…you know?"

"Yeah," Rue replied through a chuckle, "I know. Here's hoping I can do that."

"You can."

They faced each other while the rest of the world around them dissolved into nothing. Hearts pounding. Minds swirling. Breaths catching.

"I should go," Lexi said abruptly. She turned to grab her books and bag, but instinct shot Rue's hand out and encircled Lexi's wrist.

"Or you could stay."

"I can't." Lexi still had her back to Rue, and if it had been any softer, the breeze would have carried the remark away with it somewhere far away.

Rue didn't know two simple, seemingly innocuous words could cut so sharply. "What? Why?"

"Because I—"

Lexi, her wrist still in Rue's grip, twisted back around. There was a moment – a small passage of time that felt longer than it actually was – where she contemplated what she wanted to do versus what she should do, weighing immediate pros and cons of each, but only one of them won out.

In the next instant, any space that existed between the two was no longer; Lexi leaned up, and Rue, that magnetic force telling her what was happening, met her halfway. Their lips sought the other's out as they moved in sync, bodies molding together. As if they were made for doing this.

Rue snaked her arms around Lexi's waist and Lexi wound hers around Rue's neck. They permeated each other's thoughts, senses, wishes. If they stopped, if the physical contact was broken and their lips parted, they were certain the ground beneath them would open up and drag them down into the oblivion they had been studying.

It was a kiss worthy of its own poem; bursting with longing and terror and, against all odds, hope. But somehow, the two knew no combination of words would be able to do it justice.

They kissed in earnest, not wanting to waste another second. The act lit a flame between them; it burned hot and eager. At the back of their minds, both Lexi and Rue questioned why it took them so long to reach this point.

A minute later, their brains and their skin tingling in protest, they broke apart. Lexi rested her forehead against Rue's and let out something between a laugh and a sigh. "Because if I don't go, I'm going to do that."

"Do what?" Rue asked innocently.

"Funny."

"I am funny, aren't I?"

"Rue."

"What? I am!"

Lexi smiled in spite of the rising panic she was feeling, but it didn't last long. "You are," she agreed, "but I can't…we just…I don't—"

"Hey, hey," Rue said gently. She could see the alarms going off in Lexi's head. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this." Lexi separated from Rue, taking a few steps beyond the picnic table.

"Can't kiss me or can't look at me after you kiss me?" Rue wanted it to sound like a joke, but based on the way Lexi dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, it wasn't as funny as it was intended to be. "Lexi…"

"I shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?" Rue threw back. The comment stung, and a part of her wanted to rewind time to a beat ago, when talking wasn't occurring.

"I can't be your rebound!" Lexi exclaimed. Now it was her turn to do the pacing. "I have always, always been in someone else's shadow. My whole life. I know what you had with Jules was intense, I respect what you had with her, and I'm sorry it ended the way it did. But I am not going to be the person who helps you put yourself back together just so you can leave when you're finally whole again."

Rue followed Lexi's path with her eyes while she processed the statement. "Okay, hold on. Who said anything about you being a rebound?"

Lexi stopped in her tracks. "What?"

Rue approached Lexi slowly. "I get where you're coming from, really, I do. But you should know I care about you far too much to think of you as nothing more than a rebound. I would never do that to you."

"You and Jules haven't been broken up all that long."

It was a fair point, they both knew.

"Officially, true," Rue allowed. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "Lex, in reality, Jules and I were done a while ago. At the end, we were pretty much just going through the motions. I don't mean to sound like an ass – it's the way it was. It's done. Over with. We should've cut ties a lot sooner than we did. I promise I would never, ever have gone along with the kiss if my heart wasn't totally and completely in it with you."

"How can you be so sure?" The shadow of concern fell across Lexi's face.

"About being through with Jules or the kiss?"

"Both, but…mainly the kiss is what I'm asking about. We can deal with the other one later if we need to."

"Because," Rue moved forward another step, "in my entire life, I have never felt as alive as I did during that kiss. It made me feel like I could live infinite lives and be unstoppable in each and every one of them. And maybe I don't exactly know what it means in the big picture. Maybe there's still a lot we need to talk about and figure out, but I know I want to do that with you."

The past wasn't magically erased or forgotten, but neither girl necessarily needed it to be. They would endure whatever after-currents it resulted in if or when the time arrived. What they did need right then was assurance from each other. Assurance that this was real, this was happening, and this was, most of all, good.

Lexi bit her lip, trying and failing to stifle a grin. "Well, that's a relief to hear. I want it too, you know. The talking and the figuring it out and everything else. Because my heart was totally and completely in it with you too."

"I hoped so." Now that the ice was broken and the hurdles jumped to get to the passion at the middle of their relationship, Rue was slightly over talking at the moment, but she knew there was more to say. "On Friday you said recently I've looked better than I have in a long time."

"Yeah," Lexi confirmed with a nod.

"You know why that is, don't you?"

"You're finally getting eight hours of sleep each night?"

Rue scoffed. "God, no. What am I, in kindergarten? 'Cause that's the last fucking time I got eight hours of sleep."

"Okay then," Lexi said, "why have you looked better recently?"

"You," Rue returned, sounding as though it were the most obvious fact in the world. "I mean, also being clean, but mostly you. My life is so much better when you're in it and when you're my best friend, and I am sorry it's taken this long to realize that."

Once again that day, Lexi felt her pulse quicken exponentially. "Honestly? I'm just glad you got there. I don't care how fucking long it took."

"You're a better person than I'll ever be."

"Nah," Lexi waved away the compliment, "sure, you're stubborn and complicated and sometimes frustrating, but I would not have it any other way."

Rue put a hand over her heart. "Keep being this charming and I'm going to have to kiss you again."

"Well then get over here and kiss me, why don't you?"

Always a helpful, giving individual, Rue did just that. Softly, almost timidly at first, but the kiss quickly deepened, becoming hungry and desperate for more.

After, pausing to catch their breaths, Lexi murmured against Rue's lips, "Don't you love Emily Dickinson?"